


Mind's Eye

by Badpenny



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes-centric, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Choking, Dr/patient, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Manhandling, Obsessive Behavior, Pain, Post Civil War, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Stalking, Therapy, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, kidnap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 128,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25057357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badpenny/pseuds/Badpenny
Summary: Steve continued to speak erratically. ‘Tony wants him dead and I couldn’t let him just kill my friend! Banner has promised that his software is now safe but Tony will only have him here if he sees you, Dr Isle.  Hydra scrambled his mind so many times, if you can help him get any of his memories back…’Dr Maggie Isle was hand picked by Nicholas Fury to be the Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the Shield Institute because her loyalty is to her patients. And now, for better or worse, she is loyal to Bucky.OrDr Maggie Isle doesn't look at Bucky with pity but with kindness. They strike up an unlikely friendship but soon the past rears its ugly head, entwining their fates and making the future look murky. Enemies to friends, friends to lovers.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Nick Fury/Maria Hill, Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This is the first fic I have published in years, so go easy on me. 
> 
> This story is about Bucky becoming whole again, coming to terms with his past and his future. There will be eventual romance but it won't happen they way you think it will ...sorry to be so cryptic. 
> 
> The first part of this chapter is a section from the good Dr journal. Enjoy
> 
> Please let me know what you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, The SMUT starts at Chapter 20...

Dr Isle’s Journal- 

_Steve Rogers came to see me last night._

_When Steve arrived he crashed through the living room door_

_\- must remember to contact Hill about this-_

_and began to shout and babble. He was soaked through to the skin with sweat and bleeding. His clothes were torn and he ran about the flat- presumably checking for Bugs (an old SSR habit, I suppose)._

_Mild trauma to the head and abrasions to the knuckles, ribs and mouth. Would recommend a follow up CAT scan but it's Captain America… I didn’t realise Captain America could bleed. My Initial prognosis was hyper-arousal of environment and hallucinations._

_He paced with obvious aggravation with little concern that he had woken me or that he was dripping blood on my cashmere throw._

_\- send Fury the bill-_

_The professional relationship I have with Steve is limited as he found little need for my assistance, finding instead comfort in surroundings that he was similar like the Vets club. But I had never seen him so distressed._

_It took a lot of gentle coaxing to get him to sit so that I may administer first aid. I was kneeling on the floor by his side, a submissive gesture so that he didn’t see me as a threat. I reminded him that my flat was not connected to any of the communication systems in the Triskelion to protect my patients confidentiality and that all the devices in the flat were analogue and could not be hacked. He could talk as freely as he wished to me._

_He spoke erratically of conspiracies and espionage. He presented with aggravated paranoia and I would have characterised this as a traumatic episode if I had not known that Steve Rogers had no history of these symptoms_.

xx

Maggie’s pen hovered over her casefile, twisting the ballpoint between her fingers. The shock had long since worn off and yet the cold, hard clarity of last night’s events made her falter: unable to reduce Steve’s panic into mere words.

Unbidden, the memory flashed again in front of her eyes and she slammed her pen down and pushed away from her desk. Maggie knew it was human to feel fear. In the clinical part of her mind she knew that it was her body's way of dealing with the adrenaline released by the adrenal glands which had been caused by her heightened physical and sensory environment. It was a chemical reaction.

She had been taught at medical school that human beings were test tubes for chemical reactions. Complicated machines that were ruled by Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin and hundreds of other chemicals that helped our brains to understand our environments.

And yet why could she not get this one small, human interaction out of her mind. That night had been filled with such horror; the explosions, the desperate fleeing, the screams that filled the OR. And yet, after all that, she could not blink without seeing his eyes.

xxx

‘Doctor, the Avengers have been compromised and Fury is dead.’ Steve said in a dead voice.

He held himself so still as Maggie pulled his shirt down over the fresh gaze. His hands were curled into fists that pressed so hard into his thighs he knuckles were white. He was barely containing his wild panic. Instead he forced his voice to sound calmer than he felt. Maggie tried to speak, her mouth opened and closed and yet no words came out. Instead, she turned her back to him and stripped off her medical gloves.

‘Was he murdered?’ Maggie heard herself say. A painful lump had formed in her throat.

Fury was her-

Fury had been her mentor. If anyone could call Fury a friend, Maggie would. He’d looked out for her. He’d fought in her corner when Stark threw his toys out of his pram and demanded that she stay with Stark Industries. He’d personally flown her back to England when her Grandfather had passed. He’d…

Numbly, she realised Steve was speaking again.

‘Hydra is everywhere but I needed a place to think and I knew your place isn’t on the main comms grid- ’ He began to pace again. His footfalls were heavy, he raked his fingers through his blonde hair as he began to wear a hole in Maggie’s floor.

‘I thought Hydra was destroyed with Red Skull back in your day?’ The notes of Captain America’s past missions are common reading for the inhabitants of the Triskelion and in fact anyone who has done highschool history.

‘Apparently not! Hydra has hidden in plain sight all these years and I was foolish enough to think that... ’ He said this bitterly and suddenly lashed out, smashing his hand through the oak coffee table. Rogers did not even flinch, he eyed its remains silently before looking down at the slight tremble running through his large hands.

Maggie knew this was a cry for help and a crisis of confidence. In any normal situation, I would have usually spent time rebuilding the walls of trust that Steve had latched on to while in the 21st century- Natasha, Stark, the Avengers, SHEILD… As cruel as it was, part of her almost wanted to believe that Steve’s mental wall had cracked. That inside such a strong, towering giant of a man there was a fragility that had finally let go. Could all this paranoia and aggression be a delayed symptom of his time in stasis?

Any other Doctor would have called for a Deprivation of Liberty form and had him sectioned for his own safety.

Any other psychiatrist would have asked more questions about Hydra and the ‘supposed’ threats that he perceived and making links to his past traumas.

Any other person would have been frightened of Steve Rogers.

And yet Dr. Maggie Isle wasn’t any other person. She was the Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the Shield Institute. And her loyalty is to my patients.

Before she realised she made up her mind to help Steve, she was moving. She grabbed a rucksack from the hallway and ran to the kitchen, wrenching cupboard doors open and stuffing the bag with food.

This was a simple gesture but one that Maggie thought would have a simple meaning.

She was on his side.

‘ I am not with Hydra but I know that you cannot be 100% sure,’ Maggie gasped out, while she pushed a first aid kit into the bag and began to struggle with the zip. ‘Presumably they will know you were here and will come looking for you so do not tell me anymore. I need plausible deniability when they come to question me.’

‘What will you tell them?’ he asked, slinging the bag over his shoulder. Not before checking it once over for bugs first.

‘ I will say you have gone into hiding in Brooklyn. You have safe memories there and the community are big supporters of you still.’ She was on autopilot. She’d let her fight or flight response take over and rejected the creeping sense of trepidation that curled in her stomach. She pushed away all her feelings except her sense of purpose.

‘Thanks Doctor,’ he smiled at her then. It was tight and full of hidden pain but it was sincere. ‘I shouldn’t have come, I realise that but you were always good to me...’ He was half way out the door as he said this, the sound of the elevator in the hallway chimed.

They were coming.

Steve turned to her, grabbing her shoulder tight enough that she winced slightly. His blue eyes were bright with fear and beads of sweat appeared on his forehead as he bared down upon her. ‘...and Doctor, one more thing, if you see Bucky - my Bucky, you’ve got to help him. He’s not in his right mind, they tortured him and made him do things. Please, help him!’

And he was gone.

 _His Bucky_? She thought retreating back into the apartment as a dozen feet raced from the elevator.

12 trigger monkeys, clad in helmets and black body armour with machine guns pressed to their shoulders, piled through the broken door and into the flat, knocking over tables and scuffing her hard wood flaws with their heavy boots.

‘Dr Isle, is everything alright? What happened here? A loud noise was reported,’ Rumlow demanded. He was not one of her patients but she remembered signing his psychological report. He was lying through his teeth. Maggie barely hid a shiver.

Maggie knew she needed to lie to protect Steve but the best lies are laced with the truth. She needed to look fearful, restless and thankful that they were there to ‘save her’. Because the longer she could keep them in her apartment, the more distance she could put between them and Steve.

She pressed back to the living room wall as the Strike Task Force piled into her home. Throwing open the doors to her office and the spare bedrooms. Maggie wrapped her arms around her chest and shivered, painfully aware that her silk pajamas left little to the imagination.

‘Dr. Isle!’ Rumlow demanded, barely concealing his impatience.

Maggie shuddered again and made a show of wiping tears from her cheeks.

There was a sociological theory that suggested that most men were affected by Chivalry Thesis. When they saw a woman in distress they can’t help but picture their wives, mothers and daughters. It's one of the reasons why women tend to get fewer speeding tickets. Much like kissing in public, it makes people feel uncomfortable.

Maggie let a dry sob escape her throat as she dabbed her eyes. ‘Steve ....Rogers was just here. He was so …angry,’ she gasped out thickly, looking up at Rumlow with teary eyes. ‘I’m sorry, I was just taken by ...surprise. I was getting ready for bed, I don’t have office hours on Thursdays and Tina has been off on maternity leave so Helen in the OR had offered to act as psych consult for the evening…’

Maggie jumped as Rumlow suddenly grasped her elbow and forced her down into an armchair. His hand pinched her arm but before she could protest Rumlow braced himself against the arms of the chairs and loomed over her. His face inches from hers as he advanced into her space.

He smelt like cheap energy drinks and sweat.

‘What did Roger’s say when he was here?’ Rumlow’s voice had a hard, gravelly edge to it now. He watched as she pressed her back into the cushion of the armchair, trying to escape his probing eyes.

‘I can’t repeat what my patients and I discuss. It would be a breach of doctor patient confi-’

‘Did he tell you where he was going? Or what he was planning to do once he left the Triskelion?’ Rumlow snapped impatiently, shaking the arms of the chair, baring his teeth as he spoke.

‘Look, Rumlow,’ Maggie held her hands up in a submissive gesture and shrugged her shoulders. She knew her silk camis had dipped slightly, showing off her cleavage. ‘Roger’s forced his way in here, broke down my door, in the dead of night, scared the living daylights out of me and …’

As Maggie spoke she noticed a dark figure prowling around the edge of the room to where she was sat. She had not noticed him earlier, probably because his movements seemed to be silent as the grave and yet, even in the corner of her eye, she saw the rest of the Strike force give him a wide berth. He wore a black mask and goggles but she could tell his eyes were fixed on her face. She could feel it on her skin. Cold fear clutched her throat as she forced her mind back on keeping Rumlow’s attention.

‘We’re trying to help, Doctor. I need to know everything that Captain America said.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t do that! That would be a breach of doctor patient confidentiality.’ Maggie gasped out with a hint of hysteria in her voice. At this a gun cocked behind somewhere behind her head. She did not move. She kept her eyes fixed on Rumlow’s gloating face. ‘Is he in danger?’

Rumlow’s mouth twitched as if he was going to smile. ‘Yes, he is. We need to find him as soon as possible.’

Maggie let out a long sigh and looked down at her hands, worrying her lip with her teeth. ‘Then as he is in harm's way, I can help a little. He didn’t say a lot but he mentioned a name I haven’t heard before, he kept saying that he had to find him and that he was his friend.’

‘What was the name?’ Rumlow sprang to his full height and grasped his phone, ready to speak into it.

‘Bucky, I think-’ She let the words hover in the air of the apartment. Keenly aware that just a few inches behind her was a gun aimed at her head. She could hear blood pounding in her ears.

‘Bucky’s not important. What else did Roger’s say?’ Rumlow asked hotly. A muscle jumped in his jaw and he ground his teeth together.

‘He kept saying Bucky, Bucky was his friend and that he was going to find a way to help him.’ Maggie spun as a sudden movement made her jump.

The man in the mask had advanced and was standing with his gun pressed to her forehead. She registered that the gun was warm. It has been recently fired. She saw her own pale face reflected in the man’s black shades; eyes wide, no colour in my lips and one clear thought in the back of her mind- ‘This is it.’

‘Is he a friend from before, in his old life?’ Maggie heard herself ask the gun pointed at her head. Slowly, she forced her head back to Rumlow. The barrel didn’t move and was now pressed painfully to her skin.

‘Then he may have gone to Brooklyn. He was very confused and agitated when I spoke to him. If Brooklyn is where Bucky is and where he was happy and safe before the serum, he would surely go there again if he felt like he was in danger.’

No one moved so Maggie continued speaking.

‘I don’t think public transport would occur to him given that in his agitated state, he is likely seeking the solace of his past. And judging by the damage he did to my apartment, he has thrown all caution to the wind so I very much doubt he will be travelling under the radar for very long.’ Something broke the long silence and Rumlow began to speak into a phone. Maggie couldn’t hear, the blood was pounding in my ears too loudly.

‘Stay here for now, Doctor, in case we need you further. Do not speak to anyone else about tonight.’ Rumlow ordered and signalled his men to file out of the flat.

‘Yes, I will, Brock. I’ll be here ready for when Steve gets back. I’m sure he’ll need someone to talk to.’

Another smirk flashed across Rumlow’s face before he left, his men followed him out into the corridor.

But Maggie did not relax. She was not alone. Shakily, she stood.

The man with the silver arm had advanced, his gun now lowered, a hair's breadth to her back. She could hear his breathing . It was steady, unlike her own.

‘What do you want with Steve?’ Maggie didn’t know why she said this but she did.

There was a pause and then a deep, rough voice spoke as if raspy from lack of use. ‘He is my mission.’

She turned slowly, her slipper socks sliding on the wooden floor.The man had removed his mask and towered over her. He was so close his lank, dark hair surrounded her face. His eyes were..

Maggie had once worked in a psychiatric institute for the criminally insane. She did this for the experience before she developed her specialism in PTSD and trauma. Working at the institute showed her all manner of people’s eyes; fiery, cold,calculating, lost. She couldn’t put a word to this man’s eyes because she would not do them justice. They were grey blue and filled with nothingness.

She began to speak carefully, picking her words very deliberately. She hesitated: her mouth was dry.

‘Steve Roger’s is a very honourable man, he is my patient and my friend. Please don’t hurt him! If you can save him or protect him in anyway, please try. And if you see Bucky, let him know that a friend of Steve’s is a friend of mine. I will care for them both, if I can.’

His mouth opened as if to say something, but even as he did so his eyes hardened. He looked her straight in the eye and said ‘He is my mission.'


	2. The Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve coughed a little as he said ‘That’s another reason why we’ve come Doctor. I need to introduce you to Bucky.’ 
> 
> Maggie’s head snapped round and she fumbled with the tea pot. ‘Bucky?! As in your Bucky?’
> 
> Dr Maggie Isle is introduced to Bucky for the first time and she has to come clean about her experience with Rumlow and the Winter Soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All,  
> We finally meet Bucky. 
> 
> This chapter is set directly at the end of Civil War. In this story we diverge from the canon a little. Bucky does not go to Wakanda. Instead he goes back to Washington with Steve where he tries to get his life back together. 
> 
> **

Maggie had just boiled the kettle and was midway through pouring a cup of tea when there was a knock at the front door of the apartment. This was odd. Everyone in Triskelion knew she had an open door policy. Everyone who wanted to come and relax in a quiet, technology free environment was free to do so. Her regular patients could come in and wait on her sofa until she was ready to take them into her private study, which was off limits unless you had an appointment. 

She checked her hair in the reflection of the chrome kettle. It was tied up in a messy bun but at least it was clean. She was wearing a long purple skirt, as she usually did, and a blouse as she had just had a meeting with Dr. Banner upstairs. But no shoes, she never wore shoes in doors. 

‘Steve!’ Maggie said in surprise as she opened the door. 

It had been months since she had seen the Avenger. After the failed coup from Hydra and all the other madness that had been going on here recently she had hardly managed to say hello to him in the corridors. Plus, she’d been so busy working on a new research proposal that she hadn’t much time for the affairs of superheroes, just as long as her regular patients were seen every day. 

‘Good morning, Dr Isle, I was wondering if we could come in and speak with you? If it's not too early I mean.’

Though Steve Rogers smiled his usual dazzling smile, Maggie could see that he was very weary and had as likely not slept recently. But what drew Maggie’s eye was the man standing hunched behind Steve. 

He had lost weight, was looking at the floor and had not showered in a number of days, yet she still would have recognised him anywhere. 

A cold sting of fear shot up her spine. 

She steadied herself and opened the door wide to them, ‘Please come in, I can always make time. I’ve just made some tea, would you like some?’

‘Yes, please Doctor,’ Steve said politely, smiling again. He was smiling again. He was nervous, Maggie thought. 

Chimps show their teeth as a sign of anxiety or aggression: humans really are not that different. 

‘How many times have I asked you to call me Maggie?’ She said in a warm way, resting her hand on his arm. 

Human contact put people at ease and demonstrated equal status. 

‘At least once more, Doctor,’ Steve said this kindly but in a boyish way, looking back a little nervously at his companion, who remained silent and pensive, his hair hiding his face and he peered into the corners of her apartment. 

She told them to have a seat in the living room while she went back to the kitchen to finish the tea. She got out her favourite green tea pot and put five tea bags in, she took her tea strong, and stacked three mugs. Just in case Steve’s ‘friend’ wanted some. 

Did Steve know that he worked with Hydra? She pushed that thought away and pulled back her shoulders, trying to look confident. She took a deep breath before taking the tray to the living room. Steve was sitting on her large velvet sofa, perched forward and on edge. The man with the silver arm as she now saw it again, gleaming in the afternoon sunlight cast from the large windows, stood in the corner with his back to the wall. His face was in shadow. 

She placed the tea tray down on her new coffee table, the one Steve had smashed was beyond repair, and stirred the contents of the teapot, letting it brew before sitting back in one of her favourite squishy armchair. 

‘It’s lovely to see you, Steve, I know you have been busy with-’ she looked for the right word, ‘one thing and another.’ 

She did not want to mention the rift between Steve and Tony Stark, or Hydra, or Ultron… In fact thinking about it, Steve had had a rough couple of years. Maybe it was remiss of her not to have reached out to him. Maggie made a mental note to arrange an annual psych review for Steve. 

‘I’m sorry, Doctor. I am really so sorry for putting you through that the night I came to you.’ Steve spoke so earnestly that Maggie whole heartedly felt for him. He was one of the few truly good men in the world. But that still did not explain why he had a member of Hydra with him. 

‘I was more than happy to help, Steve, you know that. And besides, my door is open any time, so feel free not to break it down next time.’ She said gently and began pouring the tea. 

She paused over the third cup and turned to the man with the silver arm. ‘I’m sorry, Mr..I didn’t catch your name. Would you like a cup?’ She made sure that her voice was calm and level as she asked this. 

Steve coughed a little as he said ‘That’s another reason why we’ve come Doctor. I need to introduce you to Bucky.’ 

Maggie’s head snapped round and she fumbled with the tea pot. ‘Bucky?! As in your Bucky?’

‘I’m sure you have heard the rumours…’ Steve let his voice trail off. 

‘I don’t hear much from the rumour mill these days. Surprisingly, some people are weary of psychiatrists.’ She shrugged, and smiled encouragingly at Steve as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

She could see why she unnerved some people but that didn’t change the fact that Thor insisted on calling her ‘The Spooky Mind Witch,’ whenever they came into contact. 

‘Well, I found out- that night that I came to your office- that he - Bucky- was still alive, I don’t know if you remember-’

‘Of course I remember. But you said he’s -’ and then her voice died in her throat as she recalled Steve’s exact words from that night. 

‘-He’s not in his right mind, they tortured him and made him do things. Please, help him.’ 

Steve continued to speak erratically. ‘Tony wanted him dead and I couldn’t let him just kill my friend, not when I’d just got him back. Banner has promised that his software is now safe but Tony will only have him here if he sees you. Hydra scrambled his mind so many times, if you can help him get any of his memories back…’ 

Maggie hesitated a moment before speaking. 

‘Ah, well that complicates matters,’ Maggie said to herself as she got up from her seat. Steve began to speak again but Maggie ignored him as she walked round the back of her chair and approached the man with the silver arm. Bucky. 

She hesitated as his eyes watched her but they were not the eyes she had seen before. They were different somehow and she was no longer scared of them. 

‘Bucky, would please come and sit down on the sofa? I am going to get a crick in my neck with you standing behind me,’ she said softly, she gestured in a welcoming manner but did not reach out to him. 

It was important that he had his own personal space and that he felt safe in it. 

Whatever he thought she was going to say it was not that. He looked a little surprised and unsure of himself as he sat down next to Steve, wiping the back of his jeans as if they were dirty and he might leave a mark. Maggie returned to her armchair and finished pouring the tea, handing one over to Steve. The cup looked miniature in his hands as she placed one in front of Bucky who was busy staring at the toe of his boot. Maggie could see a muscle jumping in his jaw. 

‘I have met you once before, Bucky,’ Maggie said quietly. Bucky glanced at her with big, confused eyes before turning his face away and staring once again at the floor. 

Maggie allowed herself a small smile before turning to Steve. ‘ I did not see much need to tell you at the time, Steve but the night you came to me and the night you found out Bucky was alive, Hydra paid me a visit shortly after you left.’ She paused and took a sip of tea. 

‘Did they hurt you? I knew I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that, I am -’ Maggie held up her hand to stop Steve’s self-punishing tirade. 

‘I know now they were Hydra agents but at the time they were just some gun-monkeys, and trust me, Captain, I can certainly outwit a bunch of jocks. I’d stake both my PHDs on it.’ She hesitated before speaking again. Bucky still had his face turned away.

‘But they also brought the Winter Soldier with them.’ Maggie spoke directly to Bucky now, the circuits whirled in his metal arm as he gripped the edge of her sofa. He turned his face slowly, studying her through his lank hair. His eyes didn’t leave her face.

‘I was standing right in front of where you are sitting now, Steve, when the Winter Soldier put his gun to my head. I stood there and fed him the lie that we had concocted about you going to Brooklyn. But I also told him about Bucky- that he was Steve’s friend and that he was trying to save him.’ Bucky’s breathing became a little ragged, his expansive chest stretching his red button down. 

Steve’s hands were covering his mouth and his eyes glistened slightly, she turned to him and smiled as she said, ‘and that is when he put the gun down. So in answer to your question, Steve: yes, I am more than happy to help Bucky for he has already shown me that he is worthy of help.’ 

Steve let out a long and happy breath, and slapped Bucky hard on the back which would have been enough to knock out a carthorse. Bucky did not flinch. 

‘I really appreciate it Maggie, I can’t thank you enough-’ 

Bucky cut him off as he spoke slowly. ‘You said a friend of Steve’s is a friend of mine.’ His voice was still rough but cautious and tentative, almost as if he was daring himself to say it. 

‘And I still very much mean that, Bucky. But are you sure this is what you want? Heaven knows you’ve probably had enough of doctors for two lifetimes and don’t get me wrong -I love to piss off Stark -’ 

‘What do you have against Stark?’ Steve asked, arching an eyebrow. 

‘What don’t I have against him! Unlike you he refuses to use my proper name. I get called ‘Dr. Hotbod’, ‘Shorty McNaughty’, ‘Hottie with a body’. Everything but Dr Maggie Isle. And worse still he knows it drives me mad which makes him do it more!’ Maggie sighed theatrically. 

Steve could barely keep the broad grin off his face. Bucky kept his face turned away but Maggie was sure she saw his lip twitch. 

‘But seriously, I think it will work out great, Doc and Buck, you’ll be able to come and see her whenever you want,’ Steve began in an excited way but Maggie spoke up, putting on her best Doctor voice. 

‘I’m sorry, Mr Rogers but no. This cannot and will not be forced on, Sergeant Barnes,’ Maggie spoke forcefully, but did not raise her voice. She held up her hand to stop Steve from speaking further. Steve looked too shocked to even try, and she then spoke directly to Bucky. 

‘This must be your decision, Bucky. I cannot guarantee that I will be able to help at all, I could very well make your mind a lot messier than it already is. As well, I would insist on carrying out my own psychological evaluation. This in itself might be damaging to you.’’ She let out a breath and continued, all the while, not looking away from him. ‘And memories are tricky things, I may be able to bring back a few good ones but what about the things you would like to forget?’ 

‘The American Embassies’ doctor carried one out when Bucky returned to America. Why would he need another one?’ Steve asked, his voice was tight and a muscle began to jump in his throat. 

He thinks I’m going to have his friend commited. She ignored Steve. He was acting as Bucky’s mouthpiece but he had been muzzled for too long. Now was the time that she needed to make a connection with him, it was now or never. 

She perched on the very edge of her seat, her elbows on her knees and her neck craned; trying to catch Bucky’s downturned eyes. She wanted him to know that she was speaking to him and him alone. 

‘Bucky, do YOU think you need therapy?’ She even pointed to him as she said it but he was still hiding from her, head down, leaning off the sofa as if he was going to bolt any second. 

‘Dr Jael said he needed..’ Steve began but Maggie quickly cut him off, not turning her gaze from Bucky. 

‘I’m sure the good Dr Jael said all sorts of things. Probably that Bucky presents multiple personality disorder, acute PTSD, fragmented memory disorder, abandonment issues, paranoia, intermittent anger disorder, delusions-’ 

‘Yeah, I’m all kinds of sick apparently.’ Bucky growled, not looking up. His hair, long and matted in parts hid his face and every word he ground out was full of resentment. His eyes were on the floor.

‘But he is not the Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the Shield Institute. He does not specialise in psychiatry of the theatre of war. And he certainly has no experience with gods, cyborgs, witches, billionaire playboys, assassins, paranoid cyclops, huge green killing machines and super soldiers,’ she took a breath, ‘ but I do and I am the Head of this department. ’

Bucky finally looked up. His face was unreadable but he met her gaze and did not look away. His eyes were wide with fear, anxiety- Maggie couldn’t count all the emotions that ran through his eyes but the sunlight caught the blue flecks in them: it made his face look younger. 

‘-And I say that for the longest serving POW, you ,James Buchanan Barnes are probably quite well adjusted given the circumstance.’ Maggie said with finality, smiling a little to reassure the two men. 

‘Stark said I needed therapy?’ Bucky said slowly, his forehead creased a little. 

‘Stark can go to Hell in a handcart for all I care.’ 

‘But-’ Steve began to interject. 

‘I don’t report to Stark, I report to Fury and if Nicolas Fury thought that I would bow to that overbearing misogynist, then I am pretty sure that he wouldn’t have hired me.’ 

Bucky returned her gaze, steady and reserved, before turning to Steve. Something unspoken passed between them. 

‘So what do you suggest, Doctor?’ Steve asked, his hands wrapped together under his chin as if in prayer. 

Maggie bit her lip and she mused, sitting back in her armchair and crossing her legs. ‘I don’t think you really need another doctor but I think you could do with another friend. So why don’t I act as your Sponsor?’ 

‘He doesn’t have a drinking problem-’ Steve began to protest. 

‘I know! But I’ve read Dr. Jael’s file, I’ve seen Bucky’s inkblot and MENSA tests,’ she retorted quickly to Steve before calming herself slightly and returning her attention to Bucky. 

‘ I don’t think you are as sick as you say. I think you’re in recovery and you are already recovering on your own very well. Maybe having another person around will help you for support would help to do that even better.’ 

Maggie took a sip of her tea- it had gone cold but she let the silence hang. It was Bucky who spoke first. 

‘What would you do as my Sponsor?’

‘I would be able to assist you in more ways than I can as a psychiatrist. I would be able to be your friend if you wanted, you could call me when you wanted or come by anytime you wanted to talk: I would be an anchor for you.’ 

‘Why can’t you do that as a therapist?’ Steve asked, edging forward on the sofa. 

‘As a normal doctor I have strict ethical guidelines that I cannot cross, even more so for a therapist. I am not allowed to show favoritism, cover certain topics, have sessions outdoors …’ her voice trailed off.

As a therapist these rules were sometimes difficult to work by but as a doctor she understood the dire consequences of breaking them. 

‘That is classed as a ‘non therapeutic relationship’ which means that encouraging a relationship or a friendship that would make it difficult for another therapist to step in and treat you if I was no longer able to. In the long run it would do more damage than it would good.’ 

Maggie paused again. Bucky seemed to be now watching something outside of the window, his mind lost in thought. 

‘ But as a Sponsor, I am free to be me and not Dr Isle. Although, from time to time prescribe you with things such as a big dinner, a bubble bath, a good night’s sleep. I may suggest natural remedies-’ she suddenly pointed at Steve, ‘- like a weekend off, Steve: you look exhausted.’

‘I really don’t need-’ Steve began to protest.

‘When was the last time you had a full night's rest?’ Maggie asked sternly. 

‘Two weeks and three days,’ Bucky interjected suddenly, snapping his attention to his friend, making Maggie jump. 

‘Are you my nanny now?’ Steve hissed at Bucky under his breath. ‘Ma’am, please I fine really -’

‘Act like a child, get treat like a child,’ Bucky smirked and shrugged.  
‘Whose side are you on, Buck?’ Steve demanded in a harsh whisper. 

‘So I’m Ma’am now?’ Maggie arched her eyebrow, but could not keep the smirk off her face. ‘But getting back to the problem at hand. It would be a way to reassure Stark and Steve, I think, Bucky to know that you had someone else on call if you needed anything. I don’t know where you’re camped down at the moment but I’m a call away-’ 

‘He’s bunking with me at the moment, I’ve got more than enough room up in the penthouse,’ Steve nodded. 

Maggie grinned but said nothing, soon she would have people trying to get information out of her to feed the rumour mill. Funnily enough, people always seemed to forget about patient confidentiality. She’d berated Clint a few times as he tried to probe her for information about her clients relationship status’. 

‘That’s good for the time being and I always keep a spare room available here, just in case but I think in the long term your own apartment might be a good idea.’ She smiled at Bucky but he was now gazing at the floor. . 

‘I also have house rules. I don’t think digital technology is very calming so I would ask you to leave your devices outside. Also be aware that Friday is not allowed access in here, so in case of emergencies I have an analogue phone-’ it was a bright red 746 rotary telephone that Maggie had bought at a jumble sale a few years ago, ‘but other than that, it's just us.’ 

There was half a minute of silence before, Maggie prompted them. ‘So, Bucky, do you want to think about it and come back to me?’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll get back to you,’ Bucky said firmly, quickly getting to his feet. 

Maggie’s heart sank. How could she have failed to get through to him? 

‘Are you sure Buck, it sounds better than any therapy I’ve heard of?’ Steve asked his friend with gentle concern. 

Bucky stood with his hands balled into fists by his side but his breathing was calm. Maggie realised Bucky was anxious and deeply worried. She had thrown him and he didn’t have the tools to know how to deal with it. 

‘I don’t want to be your burden, Doctor. I’m going to think it over,’ He said and nodded at Maggie. ‘I’ll come by tomorrow to see you Miss Isle.’ He spoke matter of factly, and was walking out the door before she could reply. 

‘I think that settles it then. Thanks for your help, Doctor’ Steve stood and held out his hand, Maggie took it gratefully. 

‘Don’t thank me yet, Steve, he could still say no.’ Maggie sighed, she suddenly felt drained. 

They both walked to the front door which Bucky had left open as he disappeared down the hallway. 

‘I know him well enough to know that was a yes. Back in my day, he was just an average kid from Brooklyn with a trash mouth, a black eye and a soft skull. He needs some time to get used to you but after that you may do him some good.’ Steve smiled wistfully as he said this, looking down the corridor that Bucky had disappeared along. 

As he turned to go, Maggie called after him, ‘I doubt either of you were ever average, Mr. Rogers!’ 

He chuckled, pretending to tip his hat as he did so. 

Maybe super soldiers aren’t that bad after all.


	3. In the beginning...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘So, is this what will happen if I agree for you to be my Sponsor?’
> 
> ‘You know, I don’t know. I’ve never been a Sponsor before so I am as new to it as you are but -’ she paused and her hand resting on the door frame ‘ I suppose the purpose of a sponsor is to be whoever and whatever support you need me to be.’ She paused briefly to brush out a lock of hair that had fallen into her face, and then smirked cheekily. ‘So I guess we could start with pancakes and then work our way up to waffles if it helps.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! 
> 
> I am so excited to post this. Luckily for all of you I have written quite a lot of this story already and I can say that this chapter is by far my favourite. 
> 
> From here all the next chapters shall be set at one month intervals. I've done this because I want to demonstrate how Bucky begins to develop and in the next chapter we have our first taste of plot.

August 

It was barely 8am when there was a knock on the door. Luckily, Maggie had showered before she went to bed and was already dressed in a grey woollen jumper and a long patterned skirt. Her apartment was often cold in the morning so she also had thick woollen socks as well. 

‘Just a minute!,’ she called as she rinsed her hands in the sink and hastily wiped them on her skirt. She jogged to the door and pulled it open. 

‘Bucky! I…’ Bucky stood on the other side of the hallway from Maggie’s door, as if he was trying to put as much space between himself and her. He looked at her through his dark hair and kept his shoulders hunched. 

Suddenly she realised her mouth was hanging open. ‘Please, come on in,’ Maggie stammered a little but smiled as she retreated into the apartment, allowing him a wide path. 

Regardless of what Steve had said yesterday, Maggie didn’t think she had gotten through to Bucky. She was glad she was wrong.

He peered around the doorframe before entering, kept his hands in his pockets and did not meet her eyes. She directed him into the kitchen and let him explore as she finished making her breakfast. 

It was a large kitchen, bigger than most New York apartments. It had an old fashioned look about it, with cream wooden cabinets and grey marble counters. There was a breakfast bar but also a dining table that was arranged with magazines, fruit and bowls of snacks. A large window which ran along the entire length of the apartment, giving Maggie stunning panoramic views of the Potomac River. In the winter she would snuggle up on the sofa and spend hours watching the falling snow disappear into its murky waters. 

Designing her own work space was an essential criteria when Nick Fury had asked her to join the organisation. Her method involved introducing her patients into a calming homely environment, and to do this a big kitchen was key. Home is where the heart is and the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach.

When she turned back to her guest, he was peering at the photographs on the wall. This one was of her at her undergraduate graduation ceremony in England but it allowed Maggie a chance to study Bucky. His face showed nothing, hidden by his dark hair. He wore the same clothes from the day before, a red button up top and black cargo trousers, but his hair looked washed even though it hadn’t been brushed. He looked so out of place, he was so huge compared to average men (Steve being an exception) that he made the furniture look like it belonged in a doll’s house. 

‘I am going to have breakfast, Bucky, would you like to join me?’ Maggie said in a cheery way, holding two bowls in her hands. 

Bucky mumbled something and took the furthest away seat, with his back against the wall. This was encouraging behaviour to Maggie, it showed that in the right environment that he controlled Bucky was comfortable enough to interact with her. She put a bowl of porridge in front of him along with a spoon and a pot of jam, and sat at the fair end of the table. He murmured thanks but waited till she had sat down before tentatively testing the porridge. 

‘I haven’t poisoned it, I promised,’ Maggie laughed, scooping up a big spoonful and shoving it in her mouth. She gulped it down and let out a sharp intake of breath, ‘but it is quite hot, so be careful.’ 

Bucky’s mouth curled as if he was going to smile and took a small spoon full, then another and another before he was practically gulping down his food. Automatically, Maggie brought him over a glass of orange juice, which he took from her hand and finished in three gulps. 

‘Hungry by any chance?’ Maggie smiled as she finished her own porridge and set aside her bowl. 

‘I hadn’t realised... ’ Bucky grunted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Maggie often used food as a way to get soldiers to open up. Food evoked memories of home and normality. Living on the road and having nothing but ration packs to eat was all that some of her patients had known. But in Bucky’s case, Maggie suspected that Zola had cared little for Bucky’s diet as long as he was fit enough for a mission and from what Steve had told her the Russian’s had fed him intravenously so that they could pump him with more steroids and mind altering chemicals.

‘Would you like some more porridge? Or I have cookies or I can do you toast...Actually, better yet, why don’t you come and have a look at what you fancy?’ Maggie waved Bucky over, his eyes were wide and a little anxious, he held his bowl in front of his stomach. 

He’s not used to having a choice. Maggie couldn’t help but get a lump in her throat; these flashes of a good hearted innocent man who had been tortured for so long. It made her heart break to think what he had been through. 

She opened cupboards for him and showed him what was in the fridge. He studied the contents carefully, methodically picking things up and looking at labels. Maggie had purposefully stocked up on ‘traditional’ american labels in the hope that they would be familiar to him. 

‘Do you forget to eat?’ She asked quietly, glancing sidelong at him as they put their bowls into the dishwasher. 

He dipped his head so his hair fell in front of his face. ‘Eating wasn’t part of my missions.’ 

‘And you don’t like Steve’s kitchen?’

Bucky hesitated putting a jar of spaghetti hoops back in the cupboard. ‘There is a kitchen up there but there are always people hanging around, Vision and Wanda or Natasha playing on the little plumber game. It can be noisy.’ 

Little plumber game… he means Mario. 

‘Do you avoid the noise or is it the people making the noise?’ Maggie rested her back against the counter top and looked out the window overlooking the river. It was bright and glorious summer sunshine. 

The cupboard door closed. 

‘ When I enter the room, it goes quiet.’ Bucky said this very quietly and as soon it was out of his mouth he began to tear into a bag of marshmallows. With the excessive strength of his metal hand, the bag exploded and pink marshmallows flew in every direction. 

‘Waste not want not’ Maggie chuckled. Bucky stood stock still as she quickly dived on to her hands and knees and scrambled picking them up. Gently she took the bag from his hands and poured the remaining contents in a large bowl and handed it back to him. 

‘They don’t know you yet, Bucky. They don’t know you like Steve knows you and that took your entire childhoods to forge that type of friendship.’ She looked him dead in the eyes as she said this and tried to provide him with some form of comfort. ‘The first time we met you put a gun to my head but the second time you asked for my help. I may not be 6’4, pumped full of super serum or be a blonde bombshell, but I’m willing to get to know you if you’re willing for me to get to know you.’ 

‘What if you don’t like what you see?’ Bucky all but whispered this, his pale pink lips barely moving and his eyes wide with confusion: those lost eyes. 

‘That's the kind of risk everyone has to take,’ Maggie replied simply. She thought briefly about reaching out to touch his arm but thought better of it. 

Everything was still so new to him, she didn’t want to push too much. 

‘I have just had a brilliant, brilliant idea. Wait, right there?’ Maggie said suddenly, smiling broadly as she hurried to her office. Her fluffy socks sliding slightly on the smooth flooring. 

Bucky could hear the sound of papers shuffling and a muffled swear word, but then she appeared again with a pen and a block of coloured paper. Still smiling, she brushed past him and swung open a cupboard, just to the right of the stove. She took out the few things that were in there (it was an odds and ends cupboard), and pressed a post-it-note to its door. 

In slanted capital letters Bucky read the words ‘Bucky Barnes’. 

‘From now on Bucky, for as long as you wish, this will be your cupboard.’ Maggie declared proudly, Bucky looked apprehensive, his hands were back in his jeans pockets and his dark hair had fallen into his slightly down turned face. Maggie watched carefully for a spark of interest and the slight dimple in his cheek that he got when he was about to smile. 

‘This is your space to control. You might not like noodles, so you won’t have them in your cupboard.’ As she said this Maggie snatched up a packet of noodles and nonchalantly tossed them over her shoulder. A smirk played over her lips as she continued. ‘ We can keep this stocked with all your favourite foods and then you can come and help yourself whenever you want and you won’t have to deal with anyone. And then when you’ve got used to the cupboard, we’ll move on to something bigger.’ 

‘Why?’ Bucky asked slowly, eyeing the post-it-note that was attached to the end of Maggie’s finger. 

She thought about telling him that taste is one of the strongest senses that the usual human body has and how she suspected that after the serum his senses are somewhat heightened as well. And that the reports of his capture and torture rarely mentioned his diet. Instead she said, ‘Our favourite foods help us feel more at home.’ 

Bucky remained silent. He made no move to look at Maggie, she backed away, going instead to the bookcase in the hallway and then returning with a book which she slid across the counter to where Bucky was leaning. 

‘I know sourcing some of the brands might be a little difficult now but I found this recipe book in a shop in Queens that may help,’ Maggie said hopefully, as Bucky slowly reached out and opened the small pamphlet. 

Its pages were brown and faded, and there was a cartoon woman holding up a rolling pin smiling benignly on the front cover. Under her image read the title ‘99 ways to make your meat last!’ Published 1942. 

Bucky remained quiet for a long while before he could look Maggie in the face. His eyes were wide, both with wonder and grief. ‘My mother had this book.’ He paused again, Maggie saw his adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed painfully. He stood up from the counter and paced towards Maggie, the book held carefully to his chest. 

‘Was your mum a good cook?’ Maggie prompted. 

Bucky swallowed again and turned away to stare out the window. Summer sunlight hit his face, highlighting a few flecks of grey in his dark stubble. 

He hesitated before speaking again. 

‘She was an awful cook.’ He murmured quietly as if to himself. ‘She cut hair down the street at Ronette’s Hair Salon and with the 2 of us kids, she never had the time to cook anything from scratch; especially once the war started.’ He was holding the pamphlet so tightly that Maggie could hear the hydraulics in his metal arm. ‘Becky was the cook in the family. She could make canned meat taste like a Ritz dinner.’ 

‘Were you close to Becky?’ 

Bucky looked up, as if remembering that Maggie was still in the room. ‘She was my little sister but...she was always trying to look after us, me and Steve. She made me meatloaf and mashed potatoes for my 18th birthday, with apple pie and condensed milk for pudding.’

His eyes were full, and glistened with half grasped memories but Maggie was so proud of him she could burst. 

‘You know what Bucky, why don’t you have a think today and then if you want, tomorrow you can tell me about all the food you’d like’ Maggie suggested, not wanting to push him too far. 

‘Yeah, I’d like to do that, Doctor.’ He murmured quietly, looking down at the book in his hands as if he was unsure. 

‘If you call me Maggie I’ll make you pancakes.’ Again she thought about touching him. Reaching out in some way to reassure him that she was real and that he was welcome in her home. 

Bucky appeared to hesitate before speaking softly, ‘I like syrup, Maggie.’ 

She laughed out loud at his sudden spark of cheekiness. Maybe it was a remnant of his childhood that the book had resurrected. Maggie didn’t mind, ‘Me too, Bucky.’ 

She walked with him to the door, just as he reached for the handle he turned to her and asked.  
‘So, is this what will happen if I agree for you to be my Sponsor?’

‘You know, I don’t know. I’ve never been a Sponsor before so I am as new to it as you are but -’ she paused and her hand resting on the door frame ‘ I suppose the purpose of a sponsor is to be whoever and whatever support you need me to be.’ She paused briefly to brush out a lock of hair that had fallen into her face, and then smirked cheekily. ‘So I guess we could start with pancakes and then work our way up to waffles if it helps.’ 

She thought she caught a glimpse of a rare smile as he passed through the doorway and down the hallway to the elevator but Maggie couldn’t be sure. It was probably a trick of the light. 

‘8:00am sharp, Mr Barnes, if you want them hot!’ Maggie called after him. 

**  
‘So, how was it?’ Steve asked lightly, lowering the newspaper he was reading. There was an untouched cup of black coffee in front of him. He was wearing a clean t-shirt that had damp patches around the collar. 

They both pretended that Steve hadn’t dashed out of the shower, thrown on some clothes and sprinted into the kitchen as soon as he’d heard the elevator chime. If he hadn’t had the serum he would have been panting.  
Luckily, the other Avengers currently in residence rarely rose before 10am. 

Bucky made a noise of noncommittal that was between a grunt and a ‘meh’ type of shrug. Pulling out a chair Bucky sat beside Steve as they fell into their post 6am workout routine. Automatically, Steve handed him the sports section. 

‘Would you like some breakfast? I was just about to put some bacon on the grill?’ Steve asked almost absently, hiding his face in the gossip column as he sneakily studied his friend’s face. 

‘No, thanks...’ A ghost of a smile played on Bucky’s lips. ‘ I already ate.’ 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I do love to hear from you. 
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to thank Pandalandalopalis for inspiring me to write this story. Her work The Things We've Done is amazing and inspiring so please give it a read.  
> I will at some point learn how to post embedded links but I suck at that type of thing 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and please comment xx


	4. Schematics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘You should tell me, you know, if there was a danger to my patients,’ Maggie began. Fury stood suddenly and paced around the large wooden desk to stand in front of her. 
> 
> ‘And what if it wasn’t about your patients? What would you do then?’ He peered into her face, as if it had the answer written on it. 
> 
> ‘Everythings about my patients, Nick, they are my responsibility.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day. Aren't you all lucky bunnies! 
> 
> I just couldn't wait to post this because this chapter is where the plot thickens!

September 

They had quickly fallen into a routine. It wasn’t easy at first but it was a start. 

Bucky would usually appear in Maggie’s flat shortly after his early morning work out with Steve. Maggie suspected that they both had issues sleeping but exercise was a good release for pent up energy. As their sessions progressed Maggie recognised that under Bucky’s often cold and still exterior there was a brutal amount of energy simmering under a layer of uncertainty. 

In these early days he reminded Maggie of a ghost. Lost and seeming to hover between worlds as he drifted from one end of her apartment to the other. He would study the photos that she had on her wall: never asking questions and yet if he was left to his own devices, as Maggie often did, he would analyse them as if they held a hidden meaning. Maggie never ventured to question this or provide him with the context of the pictures. She didn’t think that was why he was looking at them. 

Photographs are stills of our memories. Literal snapshots captured with light and film. In our mind’s eye we catch and store every moment that we experience and catalogue them away for future. These memories tell us who we are, how we should react, behave, what we like, what we dislike. 

Bucky’s catalogue was empty apart from a few bloody, harsh, cold flashes of his life as the Winter Soldier. 

Each day they would begin with a meal. A small gesture of normality to put Bucky at ease. It started with pancakes and syrup, of course. Maggie had made them in the american style with maple syrup and strawberries to begin with. After a week and some gentle investigation, Maggie discovered that Bucky’s preference was actually english pancakes (crepes) and raspberry jam. 

‘Sugar was expensive. We grew up with holes in our shoes, we really couldn’t afford to buy something as fancy as sugar.’ 

Slowly, little by little, Bucky ventured more. Sometimes as an answer to a direct question and then over a few weeks he began to volunteer memories. There was always grief in his eyes when he spoke of his past. Maggie knew that even for the happiest memories Bucky was feeling regret for all the years that had been stolen from him. 

And yet, Maggie was filled with hope. With each day Bucky’s cupboard got fuller. A new packet of mac and cheese, a certain type of hotdogs, Maggie had even had to place an order with a pretzel vendor from Coney Island to get exactly the right shape and texture for Bucky’s specification. Every new product meant a new memory for Bucky, and Maggie didn’t care how many calls she had to make to find the accurate 1920’s recipe for an egg cream, she was just happy that he had a memory of them. 

Even Steve had begun to pop by more often, after the news reached him that Maggie had set fire to her kitchen after trying to make corn dogs. Apparently the gossip around the Triskelion was slow because for the next few days Maggie couldn’t walk down a hall without someone making a circus joke. 

And yet, Maggie didn’t mind one bit.

‘So you’ve always wanted to be a doctor, I guess,’ Bucky asked. Maggie wiped her hands on a tea towel. She was making them bagels and lox for breakfast. She joined him and picked up the picture he had been studying. 

She was about 9, she had a stethoscope pressed to her brother's forehead and a dramatic frown on her face. That picture was taken a year after her parents had died in Sudan. A small part of her childish brain had thought at the time if there had been a better doctor available they would have survived and she still would have had her parents. 

‘Yeah, I guess I did. My grandfather was determined that I join the military like my parents but we negotiated and I did my medical training in her HM Forces before specialising in psychiatry. Of course, there was one summer when I was 15 when I wanted to run away to Venice to be a writer but that was mainly because I’d just read A Room with a View. ’ 

‘Hmmm.’ Bucky made this noise often. Maggie had learnt that it was not a noise of dismissal, more of an acknowledgment that he was still processing the information. 

‘What about you?’ Magie asked quickly, looking away from the photo. 

‘I’ve never read A Room with a View.’ 

‘No...you know what I meant. What future did you see for yourself?’ Maggie was not sure why she asked the question in this way. Maybe because the future was such a nebulous concept to the super soldier. Maybe because she wanted to know what future he had hoped for rather than the one he had been dealt. 

Bucky hesitated and took a step back from Maggie, retreating slightly into his own personal space. ‘Nothin’ special, I guess. We were kids when the war broke out…’ He shrugs and hesitates, turning away from her. 

Maggie lets the silence hang and returned to the kitchen to finish with the bagels. She worked in silence, pottering around the kitchen, washing the chopping boards. As she laid the plates on the table, Bucky joined her. A muscle jumped in his jaw, he rested his hand against the back to the chair but did not sit. He looked at her through his dark hair. 

‘I had a job lined up for when I got back… there was a garage just off of Flatbush Avenue. I..’ He hesitated suddenly unsure. He pulled back the chair, harder than was necessary and sat down. ‘... I think they wanted me to tune engines.’ 

Maggie began to tuck into her bagel. Between mouthfuls she asked, ‘do you like working on engines?’

‘When I could get my hands on them. There was a bus depot a few streets from our apartment, a group of us would watch as the drivers worked on them.’ He spoke mostly with his head turned down towards his plate. 

Maggie sat back in her chair and mused for a moment before cocking her eyebrow. ‘Would you like to work on engines again?’ 

‘I doubt Stark wants me breaking any of his toys.’ He said with his steely tone. 

‘Stark isn’t king of the castle anymore.’ Maggie grinned at the confused frown that crossed Bucky’s face and she brushed crumbs off her fingers. ‘Would you like to see where SHIELD develops their tactical vehicles?’ 

For the briefest, purest seconds a smile sprung up on Bucky’s face. His blues eyes crinkled and he flashed a set of pearly white teeth at her. It suited him: it made him look younger. 

A warm feeling rose in Maggie’s chest. 

***  
The elevator rattled a little as they descended to one of the deepest levels of the Triskelion. Subsection 5 beta was usually off limits to medical staff but Maggie had special clearance from Fury. Bucky was silent and slightly pensive. His brief smile had disappeared as quickly as it had come but Maggie sensed a small pang of excitement somewhere deep within him. 

The doors opened to reveal a cavernous room shrouded in darkness. There was a strong smell of oil and petrol that stung Maggie’s nose and a metallic taste hung in the frigid air. Bucky followed her, his enhanced eyes more suited to the dimness that Maggies. 

‘Hey, Hayley. It’s Maggs, I’m going to turn on the light, ok?’ Maggie called over her shoulder as she ran her hand over the cool concrete wall looking for the light switch. 

‘Maggs! Long time no see, just two seconds… Sure, go for it!’ A high voice called back from somewhere in the blackness as Maggie flicked the switch. 

Twelves rows of fluorescent lights blinked into life, relieving the hidden world beneath. The garage stretched further than Maggie could see. It was littered with huge all terrain vehicles; motor bikes, squad bikes, half constructed engines, oil spillages, rocket launchers, giant boxes of tools, a forge, welding equipment and lists of other things that Maggie didn’t even know the name of. 

A woman appeared from in between a truck and a dismantled jet engine, wiping oil off her hands with a rag which she tucked into the top pocket of her overalls. Her long blonde hair was pulled back with a thin, red headband, she wore a dark pair of sunglasses that showed off her delicate cheekbones and fine features. She smiled broadly, showing off the gap in her teeth as she approached and automatically pulled Maggie into a bone crushing hug. 

‘Maggie! I haven’t seen you in forever. Not since St.Patrick’s Day, are you still hungover?’ Hayley barked with laughter and slapped Maggie on the back. 

‘Ugh, please don’t remind me.’ Maggie said theatrically before turning to Bucky who was eyeing the two of them with confusion. ‘Hayley, I would like to introduce you to a very good of mine. This is Bucky Barnes. Bucky, this is SHIELD’s best kept secret, Hayley Maidstone.’ 

‘Pleased to meet you Bucky,’ Hayley said good naturedly, sticking her hand out. Bucky hesitated a moment, his flesh arm lifting slightly before Hayley snatched it up and shook it vigorously. ‘I’m blind, not fragile. Trust me, I won’t break.’ 

‘Hi-’ Bucky managed after a moment’s hesitation. 

‘Taciturn type of guy, huh? Well, don’t worry, I’m not going to touch your face. That's what TV always gets wrong. Like what type of weirdo would I be to randomly go up to someone in the street and get all up in their face. Crazy.’ 

Maggie disguised a snort of laughter by clearing her throat. 

‘So, Bucky is pretty new to the Triskelion and he has experience working on engines-’ Bucky shot Maggie an alarmed look, ‘- I was kinda hoping that you might have something that he could work on?’ 

Hayley hesitated, shoving her hands in the pockets of her overalls. ‘I don’t know, what I’m working on is pretty exclusive stuff, Maggs. What's in it for me?’

‘An extra pair of hands and…I’ll bake you those butter biscuits that you like so much,’ Maggie offered lightly, not able to keep the broad grin off her face. 

‘Get me Sam Wilson’s number and you’ve got a deal!’ Hayley snorted and indicated that they should follow her into the garage. 

That warm feeling returned to Maggie’s chest as she watched Bucky from behind. His mouth hung open slightly as they had to duck under what looked like the hull of a submarine, his head seemed to spin as if he was determined to look at everything at once. 

This must be how he looked when he first saw Howard Stark’s workshop back before the serum, Maggie thought fondly. 

They stopped in front of a vehicle that looked like it had been picked clean by scavengers. It was twice the size of a family van and was covered in khaki paint other than that Maggie had no idea what type of vehicle it was. 

Hayley slapped her hand down on the bonnet of the car. She was 5’6 but she still had to reach up to do it. ‘This is a -’

‘It’s a Fortress MK2,’ Bucky interrupted automatically. His adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes were wide. Maggie knew he had surprised himself with that knowledge. 

‘Oh, a teacher’s pet! So you’ll know there main weakness is-’

‘Getting flipped upside down by an explosive round, probably by a rocket launcher.’ 

Maggie stepped back a little so she could watch the exchange. Bucky was demonstrating an influx of recessive long term knowledge when presented with the right stimuli. Academically, Maggie knew that there was a possibility of this happening at some point but to witness such a flawless transition of knowledge was fascinating. 

‘Bingo! Thus making this 2 million dollar dream machine nearly useless. I’ve been working on a way to get it right side up. A roll bar is too cumbersome, so we’re stuck with a hydraulic arm but-’ 

‘The current engine doesn’t have the power to deadlift 4 tonnes of car. Have you tried attaching the arm to an external battery?’ Bucky asked with interest, now leaning closer to look at the schematics laid across a nearby work bench. They were printed on thick paper, with the ink and drawings raised so that Hayley could trace them with her fingers. 

At that moment, Maggie’s mobile let out a shrill noise. Fumbling slightly, she pulled it out of her jeans pocket. 

‘Crap! I completely forgot I’ve got a meeting with Hill and Fury,’ Maggie swore, shoving the phone back in her pocket. 

‘Yikes! What does Fury want with you?’ Hyaley asked sympathetically. Funnily enough the two of them often came to blows. Privately, Maggie thought it was because Hayley scared off all of Fury’s male interns within their first week. 

‘Oh no, Fury’s a pussy cat really. It's Hill who is the Ice Queen.’ Maggie smirked before turning to Bucky. ‘Buck, I gotta run but I can catch up with you later if you like.’

‘I won't bite, you know. Well, only if you ask me to.’ Hayley cooked her eyebrows suggestively. Maggie was about to insist that Bucky return upstairs with her, to save him from Hayley’s wandering hands when he suddenly spoke up. 

‘I’ll stay to look at the specs, Ms Maidstone, if that’s alright with you.’ Bucky said a little pointedly.

‘Ok, your loss soldier. Alright let me show you some other...’ And before Maggie could blink, Hayley was leading Bucky deeper into the workshop. 

She waved a Bucky a little regretfully as he disappeared and he gave her a small smile that she thought was meant to be reassuring. 

** 

‘We are currently making great strides with our community outreach programmes across the north and mid-west area. In the last year attendance is up by 20%. I’m in talks with the national body for free clinics to get them more involved. Our new training programmes are on track for implementation in the autumn if Senator Williamson approves the curriculum, that is. She has been difficult to get a hold of. The current staffing crisis in the infirmary needs to be looked at as a matter of urgency, I am acting as a consultant now twice a week which is not my purview but...’

Maggie reminded herself to take a breath. There was something about Hill that always put her on edge. Sitting across from Director Fury and Deputy Director Maria Hill, Maggie felt like she was at a job interview. She reeled off all of the projects that she was heading up and went over her department’s budget for the next financial year, and yet there was a feeling that prickled the back of her neck. Something in Fury’s face, tightness of his neck muscles, a nerve jumping is his eyebrow betrayed that they didn’t just want to discuss her expense reports. 

‘And what would you say about the status of your current patients?’ Hill asked, her pen hovering over the file in front of her. 

‘I would ask you to be more specific. I see rather a lot of patients.’ Maggie replied in a tone that sounded rather more clipped than usual. 

‘Are there any that present any security risks to SHIELD?’ Hill asked again, ignoring Maggie’s response. 

‘If there were I would have filled out the relevant paperwork. As I have not, you can be assured that as per my professional-’ 

‘I would like to discuss Sergeant Barnes,’ Fury interrupted in a casual tone. He leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him on the desk. 

Maggie hesitated a moment before shifting a little in her seat. ‘That will depend on what you would like to know, I cannot betray the doctor patient relationship.’ 

‘But to your own admission, Dr Isle, you are his sponsor not his doctor.’ Hill spoke again. Her voice only betrayed the tiniest hint of frustration though her features remained calm. 

‘The same rules apply, and I would consider them even more binding since a sponsor is generally closer to the patient.’ Maggie shot back. 

‘Very well then. As your senior managers and the Director of SHIELD, I need to know if Bucky is dangerous. Yes or no?’ Fury interjected quickly. His voice was almost stern but Maggie knew him too well to think that this was the main focus of his questioning. 

‘In this current environment, I would say no. People don’t always act and react in ways consistent with past actions. Bucky is an excellent demonstration of that. He’s remembering...’

‘Does Barnes pose a risk to SHIELD by relapsing into the Winter Soldier? Yes or No?’ 

‘Banner removed his trigger words from his mind, unless he was suffering from a walking dream, which I think doubtful, I would say no.’ 

‘Could Barnes be selling SHIELD information overseas? Yes or no.’ 

Each question was coming faster and faster, Maggie had to school herself to keep a calm tone and her hands from squirming. 

‘Any of us could be selling information but to the best of my knowledge, no, Bucky has never ment…’ 

‘Has Barnes ever mentioned Hydra storage facilities or weapons silos? Yes or no.’ 

‘Not to me but I’m sure, if he has, he’s spoken to Steve…’ 

‘Have you had any contact with past patients who were or currently are connected to the military? Yes or no.’ Something glinted keenly in Fury’s eye. 

‘What's that got to do with anything-’ 

‘Please answer the question, Dr Isle,’ Hill stated sternly. 

‘I ...no,I haven’t.’ 

Suddenly, Maria’s phone rang. She picked it up and with a nod to Fury, left the room. Maggie watched her leave, barely concealing a rising sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. 

‘Somethings going on, isn’t it?’ Maggie snapped back at Fury as soon as the door was closed. 

Fury sighed and sat back in his chair. ‘There is always something going on, Maggie.’ His voice was weary and not a little strained. All together different from how it had been 30 seconds ago. 

Maggie did indeed know Nicolas Fury too well. Being a psychiatrist gives you the tools to study people, watch how they work, you can see secrets hidden in their faces. Fury’s face never gave anything away and Maggie knew better than to try looking there for answers. 

‘Will it endanger my patients?’ As she spoke she felt a squirm of anxiety in her belly. 

‘We can neither deny or confirm that at this time.’ This was a bullshit answer and Fury knew it. 

‘You should tell me, you know, if there was a danger to my patients,’ Maggie began. Fury stood suddenly and paced around the large wooden desk to stand in front of her. 

‘And what if it wasn’t about your patients? What would you do then?’ He peered into her face, as if it had the answer written on it. 

‘Everythings about my patients, Nick, they are my responsibility.’ 

‘As you are mine, Maggie.’ 

She recognised this for what it was; a dismissal. And yet, as she stood, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had missed something, that she had lost a battle she didn’t know she’d been fighting. 

‘My job focuses on secrets just as much as yours does. The only difference is I don’t trade in mine.’ She didn’t say this to rile him. They both knew it was a fact. A big part of their friendship was the acknowledgement that they both were in the business of keeping secrets. 

‘More's the pity,’ he shrugged, allowing a smile to play across his tired face. 

‘Don’t worry Nick, I sweep my flat for bugs every day. Just in case you get any ideas.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I do love to hear from you.
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to thank Pandalandalopalis for inspiring me to write this story. Her work The Things We've Done is amazing and inspiring so please give it a read.
> 
> Next chapter is full of emotional turnoil and heartbreak! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and please comment xx


	5. Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You shouldn't give me those.' His face was grim and his lips pulled into a harsh line.  
> ‘Why?’ Maggie asked, her hand still outstretched.  
> ‘Because I could hurt you. I'm a trained assassin! Even being around me is dangerous.' Bucky snapped in a raspy whisper.  
> ‘Do you want to hurt me Bucky?’  
> ‘No!’ He suddenly looked appalled, taking a step and then another one until he put distance between them both.‘ But what if I lose control...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok - 
> 
> This is the first chapter where we see a Winter Solider Flash Back. I'm not going to lie but this chapter was hard to write for a number of reasons.  
> Please be aware that this chapter mentions murder and suicide. 
> 
> There is a section of this which is from Bucky's POV. These sections are highlighted in Italics because he is relieving them as he explains them to Maggie

October 

Maggie knew it was going to be a tough week. She noted a marked change in Bucky’s behaviour which shrouded him like a dark cloud. He began to put more space between them at meal times, his knuckles were clenched and he grasped at the knees of his jeans. The bags under his eyes looked more like angry bruises. And he rarely met her eyes, preferring to study her expression silently when he thought she wouldn’t notice.

His nervous energy, usually simmering under the surface, was bubbling angrily ready to boil over.

Although Maggie never commented on Bucky's change of behaviour, concerned that probing the issue would cause Bucky to see Maggie as a threat and ignite his fight or flight response, she found excuses to seek him out outside their usual hours. Sometimes she would take a hot chocolate down to Hayley when she knew that Bucky was working down in sub-section B, or personally bring Steve paperwork in the penthouse to sign. And yet he remained, not standish offish, not cold; just not Bucky.

He’d retreated back into the shell like an animal shying away from the light. Maggie knew that it was a matter of time.

It was 5am on a Sunday when Maggie heard the noise at her front door. She was awake in an instant and she realised that she herself had been coiled as tight as a spring, ready to react. He sat in the hallway; slowly and repeatedly, thudding the back of his head against her door. Slowly, deliberately Maggie stepped around him and sat on the floor opposite him. His hair was taffled as if he had torn at it. Underneath dark layers of hair were clear and glistening tears spilling from his sad eyes.

She waited for him to speak. His eyes searched her face and the muscles in his jaw jumped as he ground his teeth together.

‘It’s bad, Dr Isle. It’s so bad.’ He choked out as if trying to follow the words.

Usually, Bucky’s memories were neither good nor bad, they just were and that was that. He knew that logically the memories of the Winter Soldier were part of him as much as Bucky Barnes’ had been. They were both alien to him as much as his metal arm was.

So when Bucky nearly sobbed out the words- ‘It’s so bad.’- a chill ran up Maggie’s spine that had nothing to do with the cold floor.

‘Would you like to talk about it with me?’ Maggie asked quietly.

He hesitated, his mouth barely moving. ‘I’m afraid.’

‘What are you afraid of Bucky?’

‘That you’ll think that I am a monster.’

‘Is that how you think of yourself?’

His adam’s apple bobbed in his throat and his ground out the words. ‘You don’t know what I’ve done.’

Maggie thought about asking him into the apartment but immediately it didn’t feel right. The apartment had grown to be a place where Bucky had a sense of normality. Where he could enjoy quiet domestic life away from the Avengers, Hydra and all the rest of it. It didn’t feel right to Maggie for him to relive one of his darkest moments in a place that acted as his home.

She got to her feet and smiled down at him. ‘Want to get some fresh air?’

***

‘How did you find this place?’ Bucky asked slightly breathless.

It was certainly something, Maggie grinned at the sight of Bucky's awed face. They had travelled to the highest elevator, up two different sets of stairs and through a service corridor. Bucky had to help her with the heavy metal security door but as he shouldered it open they were bathed in warm morning sunlight and cold morning air.

‘Always make friends with the cleaning staff. They know everyone's secrets and are invisible to most people,’ she said simply, shrugging her shoulders.

In truth she hadn't meant to find this place. Shortly after she moved to New York Maggie made the big decision to quit smoking and for the most part she had. It was only after all of the stresses of the battle of Triskelion and the fall of Hydra that Maggie just needed one cigarette to calm her nerves. Which was when she happened to notice that some of the cleaning staff seemed to disappear in this direction.

They didn't mind her using this place. She'd added plants and deck chairs and in summer she even left a cooler up here. In the early morning sun, her planter of sunflowers were beginning to open the flowers and the vine tomatoes were just about to turn red. It was her little spot of paradise where she could spend time forgetting.

She sucked in a lungful of crisp morning air.‘We’re the highest building around. No one to overlook us, no one peering at us with their scopes. Just peace and quiet.’

Wordlessly she handed him a pair of segitars. He hesitated, pushing his hands into his jeans.

'You shouldn't give me those.' His face was grim and his lips pulled into a harsh line.

‘Why?’ Maggie asked, her hand still outstretched.

‘Because I could hurt you. I'm a trained assassin! Even being around me is dangerous.' Bucky snapped in a raspy whisper.

‘Do you want to hurt me Bucky?’

‘No!’ He suddenly looked appalled, taking a step and then another one until he put distance between them both.‘ But what if I lose control...'

'Then I’ll have to trust you.' Maggie smiled encouragingly at him and went over to the plants.

She needed him to approach her. It was a way for him to know that he was in charge of this situation, that he was in control. As had been with the segitars, her way of offering him her trust and demonstrating that they were of equal status. Maggie would listen to him as an equal and with no judgement.

'You don't know what I've done. You don’t know what I am?' His murmur was barely audible. He stared down at his metal hand flexing and unflexing the fingers as he was seeing it for the first time.

Slowly, he approached the plants and watched silently as Maggie picked some of the larger tomatoes off the vine. She let the silence flow until he eventually joined her, working on another plant.

‘Do you want to talk to me about the memory you had?’ She asked gently. She didn’t turn to look at him, instead kept her head down, looking at a tomato in her hand.

This wasn’t an inquisition. She allowed him all the space he needed.

‘I feel like it's eating my insides.' There was a tremble in his deep voice.

'Memories only hurt us if we allow them to.'

He tried to concentrate on the plants but after half a minute he seemed to slump in on himself, the energy leaking out of him. He put the segitars down and nudged them along the workbench with the tip of his finger towards Maggie as if they would explode at any moment.He slumped down against a wall, tilting his head back so he could gaze up at the sky. Wordlessly, Maggie joined him but left plenty of space between them.

***

_It was cold. So cold that his mask had frozen to his face. Snow was steadily falling now._

_It was a complication he didn't need. He couldn't leave any tracks in the snow._

_He shifted, moving for the first time in hours. His shoulder ached painfully at the metal joint. He looked up from his sniper's scope. The house was a big fancy thing with a wrapped around porch. There was a half built snowman in the garden. They hadn't even closed the curtains yet so he could see right inside from his vantage point in a high tree. The Target put Santa's hats on his two kids and they danced around to music._

_Music he didn't recognize._

_The Target brought some presents to put under the tree and the kids argued, wanting to open them early. A little dog, a tiny thing, covered in bright orange fur was asleep in front of the fire. Even with all the noise, he didn't lift his head once. Just continued sleeping._

Bucky's lips trembled as he struggled to speak and he was slowly thumping his leg with his fist. Slow and repetitive, in a stuco rhythm. Maggie wanted to reach out and wrap her hand around his wrist in a reassuring gesture but these memories were fragile interrupting him now could be more damaging.

_He slipped into the Target's upstairs bedroom and waited. He stood in the closet and waited till they came to bed. He killed the Target first, firing through the door of the closet and then I stood over the Collateral. She begged for the life of her kids, for the unborn child inside her. He shot her in the head._

Bucky turned to her, suddenly his eyes full of tears. ' I swear Maggie, I didn't know, they didn't tell me.' 

'It's okay Bucky, I believe you.' 

_He went to the kids room next- more collateral damage. They were sleeping, still wearing the Santa's hat that the Target had put on them-_

**No! He wouldn’t tell her this. He would protect her from this part.**

_...afterwards, he went downstairs. He thought he was all done, the house was so quiet and then from the living room comes the little dog. He walked right up to him, not frightened in the slightest and nudged his hand. He wanted me to pet him. Crouching down stroking his head, the dog’s tongue lolled out his mouth and wagged his tail. Soldier enjoyed petting him. His fur was so soft. Then he stroked his neck and his hand went around his collar and… in the space of a few minutes had wiped out every living in that house. He felt nothing._

'Do you think I'm a monster now?' He asked in a dead voice. Silent tears spilled down his face.

' I could never think that, Bucky.' 

'How could you say that after what I just told you! After what I did!' He sobbed, tearing at his hair and clawing at the legs of his jeans.

'Do you feel guilty for what you did as the Winter Soldier?' 

'Of course, I do! I murdered people..'

'Then you are most definitely human. To feel guilt is an omission of empathy. As the Winter Soldier they did not allow you empathy or control over your actions. As Bucky Barnes you are free to feel regret and feel remorse. That makes you markedly Human.' She paused, giving him time to process her words. 'The Winter Soldier murdered people and Hydra took away your ability to fight back.'

'I should have found a way!' He gasped out. He smashed his eyes together and shuddered, as if trying to banish the images that were scorched into his mind. 

She needed to distract him. 'If I was attacked and I accidentally killed my attacker in self-defense when I hadn't meant to, would I be guilty?'

'No.' He grunted.

'That's correct, because it was out of my control. But then why are you guilty for something that was also out of your control? Although you feel guilt you are not to blame.'

'I should have found a way. I should have killed myself before I became their weapon. ' Bucky said desperately, his voice no more than a hoarse whisper.

Maggie's heart broke for him.

'Did you actually allow that to happen? Did you give you permission?' She pleaded. 

'No.'

'They stole your freedom. But you've always been fighting deep within yourself, even if it didn't feel like you were. That's the reason you didn't shoot me that night and that's why you pulled Steve from the river. You fought!'

Bucky let out a long shuddering sigh and met her eye for the first time in a week. His eyes sparkled with unfallen tears but there was emotion in them now. It may have been wishful thinking but Maggie thought they looked lighter, hopeful even.

He left out a shuddering sigh.

'But that's the thing. I tried to fight in the beginning. ..It’s hard to put into words. In the beginning, some of the memories I can still feel myself still-’ he gestured around his face with his hand. It was no longer trembling. ‘There. Screaming and screaming at the Winter Soldier to stop- stop the killing. In my dreams I can hear my voice shouting at my body to stop but the faces I see; dozens of faces, are always different.’ 

‘How did that make you feel to not be listened to?’ 

‘...Powerless.’ 

‘And then they made you wear a mask? To hide who you were?' 

To take his identity. Dehumanise. Desensitising. Manipulate. Torture. Isolate. Maggie was barely keeping her hate and revulsion from her voice. 

‘No one cared who I was, just what I was capable of doing.' 

‘Then why the mask?’ 

‘To keep me muzzled.' 

‘Do you miss the mask?’ Maggie surprised herself by asking this. 

Masks are often used as ways to demonstrate identity. People have often chosen a mask that they identify with rather than the identity they were born with. 

‘I don’t know.’ He was quiet for a while, before he answered, ‘I like being able to speak.'

‘But?' Maggie prompted. 

‘People are more scared of me without the mask on. They know my face and they think I am dead and they lash out.’ 

‘Did the mask make you feel protected?’

‘No, but it made it easier to hide.’ 

Maggie hesitated before speaking. Her mouth was very dry and she needed her morning cup of tea but right now, sitting next to Bucky in the bright morning sunshine with a cool breeze moving her hair, she was quite content. Bucky's change in mood had lifted her spirits. 

‘We cannot purge the Winter Soldier's memories from you. To do so would make us as bad as Hydra. As hard as it may be, you must live to accept that he was a part of you. You must accept it but not become a hostage of it. But for what it's worth, Bucky, I like hearing you speak. You talk a lot more sense than most people.’ 

‘You have to say that because you’re my doctor…'

‘Actually, I’m not your doctor which means I am allowed to speak the truth. Trust me, we all secretly have our favourites.’ 

' You're such a nerd.' He let a small chuckle from deep within his chest. 

Maggie would have let him call her anything as long as he kept that cocky smile on his face. 

***

They stayed on the roof until the sun was fully in the sky. Bucky was quiet mostly, his head tilted up towards the sun. His eyes were closed for a long time and his chest rose and fell deeply. Maggie thought he may be asleep but she knew he was just enjoying the sun’s warmth. 

He'd spent so many years being cold. 

It was when Bucky’s belly let out a loud growl that Maggie finally suggested that they go inside. Maggie allowed herself a little smile to herself as they rode the elevator. She didn’t need to watch Bucky from the corner of her eye anymore. He’s energy was light and the dark cloud that had rode his shoulders all week had gone. 

‘Are you free for lunch?’ He asked as Maggie got off at her floor. 

Maggie allowed herself to smile. Bucky’s hair was pushed out of his eyes, tucked behind his ears, he didn’t smile but his face was open and his voice was light. 

‘Always.’ She smirked as the doors closed. 

_Gosh_! She was so proud of him Maggie felt like she would burst. He relived one of the most horrific episodes of his past. He’d confronted it head on, met its challenge and beaten it…Maggie skidded to a stop.

Tony Stark was leaning against her door. 

‘I had meant to catch you early but it looks like our guest is keeping you very well occupied.’ He was wearing his ridiculous tinted sunglasses and an immaculate designed suit, even though it was not even 9 am yet. 

Maggie did not respond to Stark’s comment. She had just got out of an elevator wearing a hoodie over her pajamas. She knew what it looked like. 

Silently, she brushed past Stark into her apartment and gestured that he should follow. He didn’t bother to shut the front door. 

‘Coffee?’ She called over her shoulder. She expected Tony to drape himself over her sofa like he normally did. She jumped at the sound of his voice close to her back. 

‘Don’t get too attached, Dr Feelgood. He’ll slip up sooner rather than later and when the Winter Soldier comes knocking I’m going to show everyone just how right I was.’ He wasn’t shouting, all his bravado had slid away but Maggie could tell he was venomous. He spoke through clenched teeth. 

‘You can’t be serious. Are you purposefully trying to cause him to relapse?’ Maggie stepped back, putting distance between them. 

‘It's not a relapse. He was always a monster. He’s just doing a really good job at masking it.’ He snapped back quickly, meeting her anger with his own. 

‘Tony, why did you agree to let him stay if this is how you really felt?’ Maggie asked, trying to calm her voice.

She needed a coffee- hell, she needed the bathroom! It had been hours since she’d launched herself out of bed to Bucky’s aid. She didn’t have the patience to deal with Stark now. A little wildly she began pulling a mug and instant coffee out of the cupboards and slammed the kettle on to the hob. Somewhere in the distance she heard the elevator chime through her open door. 

Tony hesitated, his mouth opening and closing. ‘I couldn’t lose another frie… Look, it’s not your job to use your psycho-jedi mind tricks on me. He’s dangerous and you need to stay as far away from him as you can!’ 

‘But you wanted me to be his psychiatrist!’ Maggie protested loudly. 

‘But not his friend!’ 

‘Be reasonable, Tony…’ Maggie sighed with exasperation and rubbed her temples with the heel of her palms.

‘I am always reasonable. I am the most reasonable person ever.’

That was it! The last of Maggie’s patience flew out the window. ‘We’re not in New York anymore Tony. I don’t report to you.’ She rounded on him, her nostrils flaring as she spoke. 

‘I know we’re not in New York, otherwise that animal would not have set foot in the building.' 

Maggie puffed up her chest and advanced on him, jabbing her finger at his chest. ‘He’s not some mutt from the local dog track. It might have escaped your notice but he’s a person.’ 

‘He’s a killer and he murdered my …’He hesitated, the words dying in his throat. ‘You enjoy him too much!’ 

When she saw the flash of pain across his face, Maggie lowered her hand. She could not fight against someone who had to face their living trauma, walking and talking nearly everyday. She had always known that Tony hid his loneliness behind money and self destructive tendencies. This argument wasn’t about her, it was about Tony having to face Bucky. It was about fear.

Maggie sighed and reached out her hands in a submissive gesture. ‘Regardless of what you may think, Tony, I will continue to help Bucky.’ 

‘And are you going to help me to? Going to help me get revenge for my parents?’ His voice was flat and deadly. His dark brown eyes bored into hers. 

‘I know you are feeling a tremendous amount of pain, Tony, but Bucky was made to do those things against his will. He has more pain in his little finger than we will ever experience in our entire lives.’ 

Tony recoiled at her words and flung himself away from her. He paced the living room like a corned animal. Maggie could hear him struggling to catch his breath.

'You’re as damaged as he is, Tony. You both have to live with the consequences of what Hydra did.’ Maggie implored. She tried to catch hold of his wrist but he wrenched himself away. ‘Sit down and talk to him. Try to understand him, what he went through.' 

'So you've got a new injured baby bird to nurse and now you think the sun shines out his…' Tony snapped back bitterly.

Maggie tried another tack. 'Why can't you see how similar you two are?' Tony swore loudly and laughed bitterly at her words but Maggie ploughed on regardless. ‘Why is he so different from you? You woke up with an electromagnet in your chest: he woke up with a metal arm. You’ve both had things stolen from you…’

‘He stole my parents from me!’ Tony hissed. 

‘And Hydra stole his identity from him!’ Maggie retorted passionately. 

He had stopped pacing but he radiated furious energy. ‘So you’ve made your choice.’

She felt calm suddenly.

‘For me it was never a choice.’ 

*******

Shortly after that Stark had stormed past her and disappeared down the hall. She suspected that he’d marched straight up to Fury’s office to vent his anger but Maggie realised that she didn’t really care what Tony thought. 

_If he could only see that Bucky was going through, if he would allow himself to see Bucky not as the monster that Hydra had made him but for the name he was, if he could let go of the past and forgive…_

Maggie was sitting at her kitchen table with her head in her hands when Bucky cleared his throat. Maggie nearly jumped out her seat. 

‘Sorry. I thought you’d fallen asleep.’ He shrugged apologetically. 

Maggie scrubbed a hand over her tired face and got up, pushing away from the table. ‘Sorry. I was just lost in thought.

‘You’re thinking about what Tony said.’ Bucky was watching her face closely now, his expression was guarded but his eyes were wide and watchful.

‘You heard that?’ She heard herself ask. 

Bucky looked away shyly. ‘Yeah, I came back down to invite you to breakfast upstairs. Vision made an extra plate up for you. I heard you guys from the elevator… enhanced hearing, you know.’ He shrugged. 

‘Look Bucky, I…’ She began.

_I meant every word I said and Tony can be full of shit sometimes but he’s a good guy and we need to give him time to come around_ , is what she wanted to say but Bucky cut her off. 

‘I have something to show you, I think it may be important.’ Bucky shrugged off a battered rucksack that she hadn’t noticed he was wearing and held it out to Maggie wordlessly.

She took it tentatively, holding the bag carefully in both hands. Bucky watched her movements carefully, chewing the inside of his mouth. 

Maggie placed the rucksack on the dining room table and pulled out three black notebooks. The pages seemed to be filled with different styles of writing, drawings, annotations in the columns, receipts, numbers. But at the top of every paragraph there was a date.

‘I write something down every time I remember it and I put the date next to when I remember- see,’ Bucky took one of the books from her hands and opened it on the front page. ‘This is from when we first met- I mean, properly met-’ He hesitated suddenly as if losing his nerve. 'I’m remembering so much now, being around you really seems to help me... but I don’t want Stark to cause you any trouble, I understand if…’ He stopped, swallowing down his words and looked at the floor, hiding his face behind his hair. 

‘I meant what I said to Tony. All of it.’ Maggie had such a lump in her throat she could barely choke the words out. ‘So we better get you some more notebooks then, Bucky, cause you’re stuck with me.’

Maggie reached towards him and laid her hand very carefully on Bucky’s metal wrist as if it would shatter under her touch. It sent a small buzz of electricity through her fingertips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo....Welcome to the Bucky Barnes pain train! Luckily, the next chapter will be very light hearted ... the calm before the storm so to speak ;) so you'll have some time to recover. 
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to thank Pandalandalopalis for inspiring me to write this story. Her work The Things We've Done is amazing and inspiring so please give it a read
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think.


	6. Finding Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He turned to her then, the corners of his mouth curling slightly as if to smile. ‘I bet you five bucks that Steve falls asleep on the sofa right after we’ve eaten.’ 
> 
> ‘I feel like you may have a unfair advantage but, okay, deal!’ She laughed and held out her hand to Bucky. They shook hands in a business like manner. 
> 
> The team have Thanksgiving together and Maggie realises she's walking fine line in her relationship with Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> This is a rather light hearted chapter but we've got maybe three to go before all the action kicks off so enjoy it while you can

**November:**

Maggie was carrying a large box of case files up to Bruce’s office when a blur of red collided with her. She would have been knocked on her ass if Vision hadn't grabbed her arm at the last moment. 

‘Dr Isle! Dr Isle, we were just coming to see you!’ Wanda shrieked excitedly, hopping on the spot. ‘You see Vis, this was meant to be! Dr Isle- Maggie, since it's my first Thanksgiving in America and I was like ‘Oh my god!’it's Bucky’s first Thanksgiving with the team too so why not have a big family Thanksgiving dinner! And then Bucky said you weren't on call…’

Wanda said this all very fast and with her accent, Maggie struggled to catch every word but peering around Vision’s shoulder Maggie could see Bucky a few paces away looking rather sheepish. 

‘Yeah, I’ve always been on call but I know it means a lot to Americans so I don’t mind stepping in.’ Maggie smiled at the women’s enthusiasm. Where did she get all the energy? 

‘You mean you’ve never had on either?’ Wanda gasped in disbelief and grasped Maggie by the shoulder. 

‘Nope!’ 

‘This is brilliant!’ She turned to Vision so quickly she literally spun on her heels.’ Vis, it's my dream come true!’ And with that the young women disappeared down the corridor in a blur of red. 

‘What have I just agreed to?’ Maggie asked Vision, watching the space where Wanda had disappeared. 

‘Wanda is planning to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the team. She is rather excited as you can tell,’ Vision said mildly. 

Maggie liked Vision. He always knew what she was going to say before she said it. Which in this case was that she was worried about Wanda getting overwhelmed with having to cook for a dozen people. 

‘Oh-’ 

‘I shall be assisting her.’ Vision said serenely. 

‘Good to know.’ 

‘So, can I confirm your attendance?’ Vision asked politely, his hands lapsed behind his back in a businesslike manner. 

‘I don’t know, I don’t want to intrude if you guys…’ She squirmed slightly under Vision’s intense gaze. 

‘Wanda very explicitly said that if you didn’t attend, Bucky would be grumpy.’

_ Bucky was looking for a way to get out of going and she knew it! _

Maggie smirked with mischief and cocked her eyebrow challengingly at Bucky. ‘Fine. I’ll go if he goes.’ 

‘Fine.’ Bucky shrugged.  _ Drat! _

‘Fine.’ Maggie echoed. 

‘This will please Wanda very much. Dinner shall be served at 6 o’clock.’ 

‘What can we bring?’ Maggie asked in an overly cheerful voice. 

‘I hear you are most adept at baking, so if you could bring dessert Maggie, and Bucky…’ 

‘Booze. I will bring booze.’ Bucky stated simply. 

***

‘This is your last chance to back out. There’s a really good chinese restaurant on Thomas Avenue that makes excellent gyozas….’ Maggie squirmed as they rode the elevator. 

‘Deals a deal.’ He shrugged, making the case of beer in his arms tinkle.

‘Dammit’ Maggie hissed under her breath. 

‘You’re nervous.’ Bucky stated, giving her a sideways glance. 

He had become better at reading her, Maggie noted. It wasn’t surprising, they did spend a lot of time together. Whenever Maggie could spare an hour or two, she would ask him on a hike or make them a meal. Lately she had been catching up on reading in the garage while he worked on an engine that Hayley needed tuning. 

Maggie hesitated. ‘I’m a little shy of crowds, that's all.’

That wasn’t the whole truth but it wasn’t her job to put upon Bucky. She couldn’t help but feel a little unimpressive, pathetic in a room filled with world class spies, super soldiers, gods, and whatever Bruce Banner was. 

‘You sound just like Steve used to be. I used to worry that he’d end up getting trampled or lost when we went to baseball matches.’ Bucky hummed. 

‘Me and him both,’ was all Maigge could say, patting nervously at her hair. 

Bucky cast her a sidelong glance and bumped her shoulder with his fresh arm lightly. ‘You’ll be fine.’ 

That sentiment was soon lost when they opened the door to the apartment.

It was chaos. 

Thor was wrestling with both Sam and Peter Parker, while holding Clint in a headlock. Flames erupted from the kitchen while Banner stood on the sofa shouting- ‘Fire. Anyone else see the fire!’ Scott Lang, Steve and Natasha were both screaming at the football game. 

‘It is not on fire! I am flambéing the carrots,’ Wanda screeched back. Her hair was wild and she was flushed from the heat of the oven. Vision hovered, literally, trying to help but Wanda kept shooing him away. 

Maggie leaned back to Bucky. ‘It was on fire, wasn’t it?’

‘Yep.’

‘If we edged out now, do you think anyone would see us?’ Just as the words were out of her mouth Thor tossed Clint from his headlock, he flew across the room and landed at their feet. 

‘The doctor is in the house! What are you drinking?’ Clint bellowed happily and draped his arm around her shoulders, frog marching her to the bar. Maggie shot Bucky a panicked look over her shoulder. He smirked as if this is to say ‘this is all your fault’. 

Maggie made herself a drink, even though Clint protested loudly and then went to rescue Peter. 

‘Thor, let go of Peter, he’s beginning to turn purple and if he’s damaged his Aunt will never forgive me.’ 

‘Ah! Yes, it's the Spooky Mind Witch. I shall do as you ask, I don’t want you to hex me. So, how goes life?’ Thor grinned like a cat as he set Peter down.

Hell, it was like looking at the sun. He was so damn handsome if Maggie kept looking at him she was going to get a headache. 

‘Thhan…’ Peter coughed, ‘ Thanks Maggie.’ 

‘Here Peter, let me get you a drink!’ 

‘Non-alcoholic, Clint!’ Maggie shouted over her shoulder. ‘It goes well, thanks for asking. How’s Jane? Her paper on Foster Theory has been tipped for a Nobel prize, you know.’ 

‘We’re taking a break-’ 

‘Sorry to hear that- but I expect you heard from Dr Erickson?’ 

‘He’s been most busy.’

‘Okay, well, anything from your brother? I really think he’d benefit from a couple of sessions.’ 

Thor blanched and looked away. 

‘You sound like you’ve had a tough few months... I bet it's been really stressful for you.’

‘I am crown prince of Asgard, I get by.’

She tried another tack. ‘It’s ok to feel…’ 

‘Maggie, would you stop working for one second, please! Excuse us while I borrow Dr Isle.’ Banner interrupted and stirred Maggie to a quiet corner. 

Maggie had always liked Bruce Banner. Not only was he a genius scientist, surpassing Stark in her opinion, but he was also a rare individual. Once he set his mind to something, no matter the physical or mental cost to himself, Banner would achieve what he set out to do. It was an iron strong sense of resolve that Maggie knew could only have evolved from having to constantly battle with his alter ego. 

‘I sent your research proposal off to a colleague of mine from the World Health Organisation .’ Banner said excitedly in a hushed tone, he gripped Maggie’s shoulder in a friendly gesture.

‘What-’

‘She loved it! They loved it, her Board of Directors loved it. She’s really interested and she wants to make you a job offer.’ Banner was almost giddy with excitement. 

Maggie’s mouth hung open. ‘Your kidding.’ 

‘No, I’m serious. She wants you to run her Psychiatric research division. It’s a 10 year programme, as many research fellows as you want. There’s more emphasis on the medical trials which I know is something you want to do more of.’

‘It's a huge opportunity.’ Maggie breathed and worried at her lip with her teeth. 

‘Are you worried about leaving Bucky?’ 

‘What makes you say that?’ She asked a little surprised, turning to watch Bucky across the room.

If he could hear their conversation he didn’t give any indication of it. He was watching the football game with a beer in his metal hand, standing a little ways away from where Steve and Natasha were glued to the TV screen. Maggie could see that he wasn’t relaxed but neither was he anxious or scared. 

Bucky had outgrown her. He doesn’t really need her anymore, he just didn’t realize it yet.

Maggie turned back to Banner. ‘When does she need her answer?’ 

‘Well, she hasn’t officially offered you the job yet but I think she’ll need a answer well before the next academic term starts, so February at the latest.’ 

‘That's too soon!’ 

‘I know, but it's an amazing opportunity and you're wasting your time here with us clowns. I do know that Rosenthal is also in the running.’ 

‘Professor Rosenthal! You can’t be serious. She literally wrote the book at the manifestation of psychosis in the 21st century. It was the first textbook I ever bought when I started my psych residency.’ Maggie gasped out, chewing the inside of her cheek. ‘I’ll have to think about it.’

Banner smiled slowly as if he knew something she didn’t. ‘Yeah, sure thing.’ 

Maggie retreated over to Bucky’s side, suddenly unsure of herself. It was if the carpet had been pulled from under her feet. 

The barest hint of a smile played on Bucky’s face as he watched Nat clambering over the sofa as her team scored a touchdown. Steve was crouched on the floor pulling at his hair. 

‘Do you want a beer?’ Maggie asked, smirking apologetically as Steve had to watch Nat flaunt her victory. 

‘I’ve got orders from Fury. He wants me to lead a mission tomorrow morning.’ Bucky replied, not taking his eyes from the tv screen. It hadn't answered her question but she got the impression he would feel guilty if he waited to tell her. 

Her stomach suddenly felt strangely heavy.

‘How do you feel about that?’ Maggie heard herself ask. 

She couldn’t get a read on his face. His brows were crinkled so a few lines formed on his forehead, his lips were parted slightly as if he was struggling to find what he wanted to say. 

‘A jobs a job, I guess.’ He said this over his shoulder, not turning his body.  He was being evasive, trying to hide from her. But hide what?

She crossed her arms over her chest and pretended to watch the football. ‘What time are you shipping out?’ 

’0600.’ Again he did not turn around. 

She needed to draw him out, needed to bring tonight back into focus. Whatever he was trying to hide from her was an omission of how he was feeling: not a lie, she had to remind herself. 

‘Yeah, beer is probably not the best idea then…’ Maggie quipped lightly. 

‘I can’t get drunk anyway, remember?’ It was then that Maggie released that Bucky wasn’t watching the game. His eyes had a glassy quality as he stared in the direction of the TV but took in none of the detail. 

‘That may be a good thing. I definitely think that we’ll be picking Sam and Clint up off the floor before long.’ 

He turned to her then, the corners of his mouth curling slightly as if to smile. ‘I bet you five bucks that Steve falls asleep on the sofa right after we’ve eaten.’ 

‘I feel like you may have a unfair advantage but, okay, deal!’ She laughed and held out her hand to Bucky.  They shook hands in a business like manner. 

Bucky was smiling broadly now, Maggie knew she’s just been conned. She didn’t mind particularly. 

‘We used to listen to the football game on the radio. I think being able to actually see the players is a definite improvement.’ Bucky commented lightly. 

‘I’m surprised you didn’t go and see the Macy’s parade?’

‘I’m a Brooklyn kid, born and bred. I tried to avoid midtown if I could. Far too many tourists, even in the 1940’s. When we were young Steve’s family would come to our apartment and his Mother would help make the pies for dessert. With Sarah and Joe passing...’ Bucky looked down at his shoes, his lips pulled into a thin line. 

This was the first un-choreographed she’d had since they started speaking. 

‘... We still made Steve come to us but it felt different somehow, like his heart wasn’t in it anymore now his family had gone. It’s nice to see him almost back to his usual self.’ 

Maggie smiled fondly and watched Bucky watching Steve from the corner of her eye. ‘The technology might have changed but the people haven’t. People are still busy being people, you know.’ 

Bucky sighed. ‘Well, this family sure is strange.’ 

Just as Maggie opened her mouth, someone shouted ‘Dinner’s ready!

  
  


***

The meal was scrumptious. Magie was definitely regretting wearing jeans by the end of it. Luckily, with Bucky on her right and Banner on her left, she kept pushing bits onto their plates. 

But there were two super soldiers, a god, a cyborg, two very drunken soldiers and a teenager at the table so none of the food went to waste. Maggie did the rounds with mash potatoes and stuffing, filling up people’s plates. 

Steve shot her a beaming smile when she made Bucky have a fourth helping of turkey. Thor chewed nonchalantly on a whole gammon joint at the head of the table.

‘Who made this pie?’ Sam called out, whipped cream smudged into his moustache. 

‘The pecan?’ Wanda asked hopefully. 

‘No, the lemon meringue one.’

‘Oh, Maggie baked that one.’ Wanda replied lightly, but Maggie thought she sounded a little disappointed. 

Maggie made a note to spend more time with Wanda, when suddenly Sam grabbed her shoulders, swooping down and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. 

‘That pie was heaven sent! When are you going to finally agree to go out with me?’ He beamed down at her, slurring his words slightly. 

Maggie could barely hold back a cheeky grin as she pretended to count the days on her fingers. ‘So, what’s today? Wednesday…’ she theatrically counted off her fingers, ‘oh, wait, never!’ 

The table roared and even Bucky chuckled quietly to himself. 

‘That was cold, Maggie,’ said Sam but he shot her a cheeky wink to know there were no hard feelings. 

Thor slapped Sam on his back, making him stumble. ‘It was a brave attempt, friend, the Spooky Mind Witch does not know what she’s missing. Have I ever told you about the time my friend Fandral…’ 

‘Ok, losers, picture time!’ Nat shouted, pulling out her phone.

‘You couldn’t have done this before the huge meal?!’ Steve Lang exclaimed, rubbing a gravy stain off his shirt.

‘Okay, say ‘Tony Starks an asshole!’ 

There was a flash and Maggie got to her feet and pulled the phone out of Nat’s hands. ‘Now this one is just for the heroes. Say Cheese!’ 

Thor had pulled Nat onto his lap and Lang held up bunny ears behind Peter’s head but he didn’t notice cause Clint was trying to pour him a shot from a hip flask. Sam was shoving the last of the lemon meringue in his mouth, while Vision and Wanda tried to outdo each other by levitating bits of leftovers. Even Bucky’s face curled into a lopsided grin as Steve began to balance on the back legs of his chair. 

Yeah, this family sure was strange but it was hers. 

**

Once again, Maggie hesitated. She felt foolish walking about with a tupperware of leftovers but she knew she needed to speak to Fury. 

‘You’re loitering.’ A voice said behind her, making her jump. Fury was leaning out of a doorway which was obviously his office. 

‘I’m not loitering. I am hovering.’ She quipped making a grin spring up on Fury’s face. He gestured her into his office. It was surprisingly luxurious. Maggie had always thought of Fury as an understated leader but this office was all about the power play. All the walls were made with glass and there was a sunken seating area and mini bar. 

She stood awkwardly for a moment and placed the box of leftovers on his desk. ‘Compliments of Wanda.’ 

‘Do you have something you wish to say to me, Maggie?’ Fury sighed good naturedly. 

’No…’ She began but then found her courage and suddenly stiffened her resolve. ‘Yes, I do.’ 

‘I’m a busy man, if you’ve got something to say…’

‘You’ve lined Bucky up to go on a mission.’ It wasn’t a question. Maggie felt like it was a thick smog, hovering in the air between them. She needed to clear it for Fury to see sense: to see what was best for Bucky. 

‘I have…’ He replied, watching her with interest. ‘You don’t think he is mentally capable?’ 

‘I didn’t say that,’ she replied quickly. 

‘Then why don’t you want him going?’ 

Suddenly, she was mad. It had come out of nowhere and she lashed out. ‘Have you asked him? Actually, asked him if it's what he wants?’ She hissed.

‘Have you?’ 

‘Don’t try and misdirect me, Nick.’ Maggie knew this game well. 

Fury pulled back his shoulders, raising himself to his full height. ‘He is a part of SHIELD now, his views don’t matter when I need him in the field.’ 

Maggie was beside herself with anger at his words. Her body shook as she snapped out the words, ‘He’s done enough.’

‘Is that your professional or your personal opinion, Dr Isle?’ Fury retorted quickly. 

She wouldn’t take his bait. ‘We can’t be like Hydra. He deserves more than being treated like a weapon.’ 

‘I am not in the business of compassion.’ He ground out. 

‘So this is what the man’s life is to you: business?’ 

Fury sighed and turned his back to her, looking out over the Potomac River. Snow was beginning to fall from a murky sky. ‘It’s a routine mission; it will be good for him to be out in the field.’ 

‘’It will be good for him to have a future that is not focused on war!’ 

‘There! There it is! Here is the difference between us, Maggie. You have allowed yourself to become attached to him. You came here as a friend and protector not as his doctor.’ Fury declared, turning and advancing on her. Maggie didn’t back down. ‘Dr Isle, you assume you know what's best for him. You have taken a decision out of his hands. Now, which of us hear sounds more like Hydra to you?’

Maggie suddenly felt very cold. 

Maggie had done what she’d tried so hard not to; she’d become attached, biased, too close… Under the guises of best intentions she’d tried to control Bucky’s future. 

_ ‘He’s done enough…’ _

_ ‘He’ll be stronger than ever with a new arm.’  _

_ ‘The Asset doesn’t need his memories. Wipe them!’  _

She was just as bad as them 

‘You’re right.’ Her voice sounded very small.

Fury hesitated for a moment before putting his hand on her shoulder. ‘I know I’m right. I’m always right. But I need  **you** to be in the business of compassion. I need someone to be my conscience.’ 

Maggie looked up at him slowly and she swallowed, her tongue feeling thick in her mouth. ‘Just promise me that you’ll ask him. Check that he still wants this life? He’s so much more than just a weapon.’ 

‘I’ll ask him, Maggie.’ he assured her kindly. ‘But you’ll need to be prepared for his answer.’ 

She looked down at the floor, trying to hide the tear that fell. ‘I know.’ 

**

She was standing in the elevator barely keeping back tears when her phone chimed. 

_ How could she have been so self-centred? How could she have been so foolish?! _

She lashed out, scrubbing the tears from her eyes. Fumbling slightly, she pulled her phone out of her jean pocket. It was a message from Nat. 

_ Natasha Romanov (21:45): Bucky says ‘You owe me five bucks.’  _

Attached was a picture of Steve asleep in an armchair with a half empty plate on his lap.

Maggie’s phone chimed again. 

_ Natasha Romanov (21:46): Bucky really needs to learn how to text.  _

Tears fell thick and fast down Maggie’s cheeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading. 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think!


	7. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come on Bucky, pull yourself out of it! Maggie prayed. It’s a dream, just a dream. You can get through this, please Bucky, please...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't plan for this chapter to be so long and yet here we are. Personally, its also my favourite so far.

**25th December**

Maggie fretted in her sleep. Muddled dreams of research proposals, of patients, medical emergencies , hooded figures, journals and expense reports: floating in and out as the Avengers battled invisible foes. 

To start with Maggie was working extra hours to cover Dr Mira in the infirmary after a bout of flu. She had a speech to write for her upcoming Stark Medical Conference next month and then she had to review a dozen research proposals for a new batch of postdoctoral interns. 

On top of all that, Christmas was one of the most psychologically challenging times of year for doctors and patients alike. She’d made an effort to be cheerful, sharing alcohol free mulled wine with the medical staff and helping to organise SHIELD Christmas fundraiser but the last 14 hours that she’d spent on call had finally caught up with her. 

Deep within her dreamscape, Maggie ran through dimly lit corridors, desperately pushing her way through a terrified, surge of people. The corridor vaguely resembled a hospital but not one she had ever been to before and signs on the walls were written in a language she couldn’t read. With a growing desperation Maggie tried to force her way through the throng of people. They screamed that she should run. They cried out to her. Suddenly, she was pushed back: knocked to the floor. Her body was suddenly too heavy to move, figures rose and fell around her, she flinched but could not turn away. 

And then there was calm. All the noise of the crowd fell away until Maggie could hear the blood pumping in her ears, a blinding light fell into her eyes. 

She awoke with a start, scattering her papers across the living room floor. 

Bucky peered over her, a lopsided smile on his face. ‘It's a bit rich telling Steve off for working too hard when you are falling asleep in your paperwork and drooling on your cushions.’ 

‘I won’t tell him if you wont.’ Stiffly, Maggie wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her jumper and gingerly got to her feet. She shook herself to wake up, dragging a hand through her unruly hair and turned to Bucky, who had his hands in his pockets. ‘Have you had supper yet? I was planning on making spaghetti and meatballs, if I can interest you?’

‘Maggie, it's 11pm.’ Bucky replied lightly, a small smile playing on his lips. 

‘What? You can be serious…’ She pulled her sleeve up to look at her watch. ‘I slept through Christmas Eve!’ She scrubbed her face in exasperation and let out a frustrated sigh. 

_ So much for getting ahead with her paperwork. And celebrating, I guess.  _

She turned back to Bucky who was hovering a little awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other. ‘What can I do for you Mr. Barnes on this fine Christmas Eve?’ She smiled. 

Bucky cleared his throat before he spoke tentatively. ‘I was wondering if I could stay in your spare room for a few days…?’ He let his voice trailed off and looked up at her through his hair. 

Maggie knew he must be agitated for some reason.  Facial expressions are among the most universal forms of body language. Expressions that convey fear, anger, sadness, and happiness are similar throughout the world. After spending so much time in Bucky’s company over the past months she felt like his body spoke volumes while the man himself was often quiet and reluctant to speak up. 

‘Sure, of course you can!’ Maggie laughed and she showed him into the spare bedroom. Whatever she thought he was going to say, it wasn’t that. 

Along with a large kitchen, Maggie had also insisted on having a spare bedroom that her patients could use whenever they needed. It was her way of offering a form of respite care in a personal, domestic setting. She’s designed it to look homey, with a large bed, plush throws and thick carpets that were supposed to invoke feelings of warmth and family. The far wall was a window which looked out over the Potomac River. 

It might look cosy but it was also highly practical. Maggie had been specialising in PTSD and combat trauma for nearly ten years. She knew from personal experience that night terrors were one of the most dangerous manifestations of psychological damage. With this in mind she’d installed technology, some of her own design, which would help soothe and neate the effects of the nightmares. 

Nothing apart from time and patience would make them go away for good. 

‘There are pyjamas in the wardrobe, if you need them and fresh towels and toiletries in the en-suite.’ 

‘Thanks, Maggie.’ Bucky said stiffly, keeping his head ducked, he carefully, precisely placed a black and white photo frame on the bedside table. 

She would have recognised it anywhere. It was of the Howling Commandos with Bucky in the forefront. He was laughing at something that Steve had just said, his smile broad and open, a cigar jauntily hanging out of his mouth. Maggie had never seen him smile like that. 

‘No thanks needed,’ she smiled and made for the door, putting some space between them. Bucky was obviously feeling uncomfortable, she wanted to make him feel as relaxed as possible. Her hand rested on the doorframe. ‘Can I ask if something has happened? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but…’ 

Bucky suddenly let out a soft snort of laughter and looked away into the corner of the room. ‘No, it's not what you think-’ he said, before turning to face her and shooting her a grin that looked closer to a grimace. ‘Wanda and Vision have been getting into the Christmas spirit quite...’ he hesitated and looked everywhere but at Maggie, ‘...quit loudly and with my enhanced hearing…’ 

‘Yikes!’ Maggie snorted, trying to hide her laughter behind her hand. ‘I get it! Stay as long as you want. I’m surprised Steve’s not right behind you.’ 

‘Steve’s stepped out with a girl. He hasn’t got back yet,’ Bucky said this almost deadpan tone. 

At first Maggie had thought that having to confront the sexual nature of Wanda and Vision’s relationship had brought up a sense of regret in Bucky; resentment that he couldn’t relate to these intimate moments. But now Maggie saw that it was something deeper. 

‘Oh! Let me guess. Hannah from accounting?’ Maggie said lightly, trying to draw him out. 

‘How did you kno…’

‘A few of us in Medical have a pool going to see which dates he’ll accept. I’m surprised he chose to go out on Christmas Eve though.’ 

‘Yeah, well. I guess it’s good to be Captain America.’ He turned his back as he said this and began to study the artwork on the walls. 

‘I wouldn’t be so dismissive, there’s a pool on you as well.’ Maggie grinned cheekily. 

That did elicit a small smile and Bucky cocked his eyebrow. ‘Do I want to know who is in the running?’

‘Where would be the fun in that? But if you could swing by the public relations department, it sure would help me out.’ 

Still grinning, Bucky walked across the bedroom and slowly closed the door. ‘Goodnight, Maggie.’

***

It was the early hours of the morning when the motion sensor alert went off. Maggie was awake in an instant, listening intently to the shouts and muffled cries that were growing steadily louder. 

_ Come on Bucky, pull yourself out of it! _ Maggie prayed. I _ t’s a dream, just a dream. You can get through this, please Bucky, please... _

Suddenly, something slammed into the wall above Maggie’s head so hard that a few books fell off the shelves. Bucky was thrashing so hard he was moving the mattress, bed frame and all. 

Maggie was prepared. This was not her first rodeo. 

She got up and numbly pulled on a hoodie. Sighing unhappily as she pushed a taser deep in her pocket, better to be safe than sorry, Maggie went to Bucky’s door. She called out before turning the handle and letting the door swing open. She did not enter. 

Bucky thrashed violently, spasming and twisting his body into knots. Crying out, his legs flailed and impacted so hard on the mattress the springs twanged. 

‘Bucky, it’s time to get up now.’ She called in a loud, cheery voice that was stronger than Maggie felt. Cautiously, she reached for the light sensor on the wall and with a few choice buttons she began the Sunrise Programme. 

Watery light began to fill the glass window and a digitally synthesized sun began to rise over the Potomac River. It looked and it felt natural, it was supposed to help aid the patient to awaken naturally. 

‘Darkness is moving away, bad dreams are leaving now. It is time for the sun to come out, there is no more darkness. Bucky, it was only a dream. It is time for you to wake up now.’ She repeated these affirmations until the ‘sun’ was high in the sky filling Bucky’s room with warm light. 

This usually did the trick. She would hate to have to call for backup but it was too great of a risk to try to wake him herself. 

‘Maggie,’ Bucky groaned painfully, rolling over to his side. He opened his eyes and blinked at her through matted, sweat soaked hair. 

‘Hi Bucky, you were having a nightmare but it’s over now.You’re safe.’ She spoke in a low calm voice. 

She knew that  noradrenaline and adrenaline was still coursing through Bucky’s blood stream causing the ‘flight or fight’ response. His mind had tricked his body into thinking it was under attack. His heart rate would be escalated and his muscles would begin to contract causing spasms and trembling. 

There was no waking up and pretending to be okay. 

‘Can you sit up for me and put your feet on the rug?’ Again, her best soft and coaxing voice. The type of voices that tells you to step back from the edge.

Tentatively, Bucky pulled himself up and placed his right and then his left foot down. Maggie could see his jaw working as he ground down on his teeth, the hydraulics creaked in his arm as he gripped the mattress. His breathing hitched as he tried to catch his breath. 

Slowly, Maggie approached, taking each step at a time. A few feet away, she paused. ‘May I check your head for injuries?’ She would not approach without asking his permission. 

Stiffly, he nodded.

Bucky slowly he turned his body away from her so that she could access the back of his head. There was a cut that was matted with hair. Out of the top draw of the bedside table, Maggie pulled a first aid kit, got out some equipment but left the bag in plain sight where he could see it. 

‘Can you hear my heartbeat?’ She asked as she worked, gently cleansing the wound. ‘Try focusing on that, try to match your breathing to my rhythm.’ 

After a few minutes Bucky’s breathing slowed but the muscle in his jaw continued to jump. 

‘You came in here to wake me up.’ His voice sounded dead. 

‘You were having a nightmare,’ Maggie said simply, soothing the last bit of numbing cream on to the wound. Luckily, it wasn’t a deep cut. Head wounds always bled a lot but it was really only an abrasion. 

Out of nowhere, Bucky reached up and took one of Maggie’s wrists in his hand. A buzz of electricity went through her skin. Gently, he pulled her away, easing her to stand away from him. 

‘You came in here to wake me up.’ He was standing now, his voice had a hard, steely edge. Maggie backed away, pulling her hand out of his grasp. He put up no resistance but although his eyes were red with tears they were angry, his lips were pulled back into a snarl. ‘I am dangerous. What the hell were you thinking?’

‘Trust me, I took all the usual precautions-’ 

Before Maggie’s heart could skip a beat, Bucky slammed his arm through the wall, inches from her face. ‘There is nothing usual about what this thing can do.’ He snarled, glaring down at her. 

He wanted to frighten her, try and make her too scared to do her job. He was pushing her away. 

She refused to retreat but neither would she threaten him. ‘You think I don’t know that?’ She spoke earnestly, returning his glare. ‘I know you wouldn’t ever hurt anymore intentionally, Bucky but I’ve been doing this long enough to know that anything can happen during a night terror. It’s not like I came unprepared.’ She pulled out her taser and offered it to him. 

He pulled his arm out of the wall, showering Maggie with plaster and brick dust. ‘You shouldn’t have to arm yourself like that.’ 

‘Would you have preferred that I stay outside and not woken you up?’ She retorted quickly but as soon as she said it she knew she had made a mistake. 

His muscles bunched in his neck as his jaw strained and his t-shirt and sleep pants were soaked through with sweat. He began to pace, shooting her sidelong glances. 

_ Stupid! Rooky mistake. You should never show frustration or remind the patient of the event while… _

Bucky lashed out, hurling something across the room. It shattered, sending glass and metal into the air and spinning across the floor. It was only then that Maggie realised that it was Bucky’s Howling Commando photograph.

‘I should leave. I am dangerous,’ he murmured, his voice barely a whisper as he paced back and forth, heedless of his barefeet and the broken glass.

Maggie didn’t approach but she made her voice sound strong, regardless of the tremble in her hands. ‘You have friends here Bucky who love you… You can be a part of something. You can have a life. ’ 

‘I can’t get attached-’ his voice was breathless, gasping between words. ‘It’ll hurt more when I lose them.’ 

Maggie sucked in a deep breath and faked some courage. ‘We can talk about that later but not while you are pacing,’ she put on her best doctor voice. 

Bucky hesitated, glaring at her as he wrapped his arms protectively around his chest. 

Maggie took this as a good sign and stepped towards him, speaking very carefully. ‘You really cared about that picture so why did you throw it?’ 

‘Because I did!’ He ground out.

‘How did it make you feel when it broke?’ 

‘I don’t know-’ he tore his hands through his hair and refused to look at her, ‘- it was a waste and now no one wants it. It’ll never belong here. Don’t!’ He ordered suddenly, jabbing his finger in her direction and drawing his lips over his teeth. ‘I know what you are trying to do. Get out of my head, Maggie.’ 

Maggie held her hands up in a supplicating gesture. ‘Fine, you be the doctor, what am I going to say?’ 

Bucky stood glued to the spot, staring at the point of impact on the floor, as if frozen in time. ‘No one wants me.’ 

‘Why would I say that? Steve wants you, Fury wants you, I want you,’ Maggie said sincerely, trying to convey every ounce of what she was feeling in her tone. 

He turned to her then, his blue eyes full of pleading tears, his voice broken. He looked pale and young. ‘Yeah but someday he’ll take up with a dame and he won’t want me -broken me- around his family.’ 

‘Trusting people is scary.’ A painful lump had formed in Maggie’s throat. ‘But when it comes to family that's just the price of admission. And nobody deserves a family more than you do.’ Gently, she let her hands rest on his shoulders, rubbing her thumbs in small soothing circles. ‘Trust me. But if you do decide to take that leap of faith, I’ll be there with you.’ She blinked tears away from her eyes. ‘Steve is family and if you let me, trust me, I’ll be your family too.’ 

**

  
  


They were sitting on the living room sofa drinking hot chocolate and listening to a Frank Sinatra vinyl that Maggie had bought a few weeks ago. Neither of them could have gone back to bed. They stayed up speaking for hours about everything and nothing at all. 

‘Are you gonna go out with him then?’ Bucky asked out of nowhere. 

‘Who?’ Her brow crinkled. 

‘Wilson.’ 

‘No way!’ She let out a very unlady-like bray of laughter. ‘My ex-husband wouldn’t stand for it.’ She said, wiping a tear from her eye. 

‘What’s he got to do with it? Does he make your life difficult?’ Bucky’s voice had gained a steely edge.

‘No, not at all! We’re really good friends actually. It's just he’s in the RAF and would never forgive me if I dated a yankee flyboy.’ Maggie chuckled, thinking back to Thanksgiving. ‘Why do you ask?’ 

‘You’re not the only one with a pool going, you know.’ He said simply, a cocky smile played on his lips. 

Maggie had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders with Bucky’s feet on her lap as she spoke about her childhood in England, her favourite books, her compulsion to listen to sad music. Bucky had listened in what she hoped was content silence. When he did speak he told her about all the new technology that he wanted to explore, countries that had sprung into existence that he wanted to visit and plans for an engine he was working on. 

It was only when Maggie saw the sun beginning to rise through the window that she realised what day it was. ‘Holy shit!’ Maggie suddenly gasped. 

The blanket trailed as she ran to her bedroom to grab two small packages. 

‘Merry Christmas Bucky!’ She beamed, placing two brightly wrapped parcels into his lap. 

‘Maggie-’ his face was shocked but his hesitant smile slowly pulled into a broad grin and his eyes crinkled. 

‘ I know, I know, I just couldn’t resist.’ She said excitedly, jumping on the sofa, tucking in her legs and wrapping the blanket around her again. ‘Open this one first.’ She pointed to the rectangular shaped package. 

In truth she really couldn’t resist buying people gifts. Maggie actually preferred buying them than she did receiving. But she felt like Bucky had seventy years worth of Christmas’ to make up for. Maggie knew for a fact that as soon as he got up stairs there was a huge pile waiting for him, mostly from Steve. 

Bucky stripped off the paper, thankfully he wasn’t one of these frustrating people that pried open the tape. Carefully, he turned over the picture frame. It was the photo that Maggie had taken at Thanksgiving, the caption underneath said ‘Now, just the heroes!’ 

‘We’ll get your old one fixed up, good as new, and we can put this one over the hole in the wall.’ 

He nodded, seemingly unable to speak, his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat and he carefully placed the picture on the coffee table beside him. 

The next present revealed a small black box. Gently, Maggie took it from Bucky’s hands and opened it. ‘So, I had this idea a while ago ...and anyway, I had something made up for you.’ 

She passed him what looked like two sets of dog tags. Unlike his own, they were shiny and new and didn’t have any prints on it. 

‘They are a matching set. Each one has a sensor pad on it so that when you press it the other one will feel it and they can press it back. You can use it when you're stressed or anxious- ’ she placed the tip of her finger on the smooth metal service. Bucky wrapped his hand around its twin, smiling as it got warm, ‘-and it will let you know that someone is here for you.’ 

She sat back, suddenly feeling shy. ‘You should give the other to Steve,-’ she hesitated as a cheeky grin sprung up on her face, ‘or I happen to know a very nice lady who works in public relations.’ 

He sat for a long time holding the two tags in his hands before shaking his head and smiling at her. ‘I think I know where they belong. One here-’ he threw the chain around his neck and then reached over and, taking Maggie’s hand, wrapped the chain around her wrist, ‘-and here.’ 

Maggie gawked at him. ‘Are you sure? Wouldn’t you rather let Steve have it, I mean…’ 

‘Merry Christmas, Dr Isle.’ Bucky interrupted, giving her hand an affectionate squeeze. 

‘Merry Christmas, Sergeant Barnes.’ Maggie couldn’t keep from touching her wrist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take this opportunity to thank Pandalandalopalis for inspiring me to write this story. Her work The Things We've Done is amazing and inspiring so please give it a read.
> 
> The next chapter is also really cute and fluffy, and I should be posting sometime this weekend because I couldn't resist writing it. 
> 
> Please, please comment! I love to know what you guys think xx


	8. Greaseball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Bucky, you don’t need to act like the animal they pretend you are.’ She said passionately, gripping his arm tightly, she forced him to meet her gaze. ‘Whatever they said about you, you and I know it's not true!’ 
> 
> Bucky opened his mouth to speak, his body relaxing slightly, when she abruptly turned on her heel and shouted down the corridor. Just because she didn't want Bucky getting in trouble doesn't mean they would get away with it.
> 
> The plot thickens with Maggie and Bucky is confronted by the fact the Maggie isn't just a doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I couldn't wait to get this chapter out. This chapter marks the end of phase 1. 
> 
> The main focus of phase 1 was to show how Bucky slowly comes out of his shell and how Maggie and Bucky become friends. Phase 2 is something all together entirely different. 
> 
> In phase 2 that action is basically none stop from beginning to end. I may find the time to write one fluffy chapter - so if you have any requests please share and let me know. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**January**

Maggie sprayed perfume in the air and let it settle in her hair as she slipped on her favourite special occasion shoes . They had six inch heels and were lined with black silk. She wouldn’t usually have worn them but as she was getting picked up and dropped off by a car she didn’t mind too much. Besides, she needed an excuse to get them out the box. 

Her real favourites were a pair of bright red brogues which she had had since she was a student. 

Maggie saw her best friend for one night every few months. Demmie Cormac was the Deputy CEO of a global engineering company Henley Corporation which produced medical equipment. They met on a fateful night while at university in Durham and had been best friends ever since. Demmie lived in Belfast but every now and again she would be sent to liaise with the companies’ suppliers in New York. 

Maggie wore a silk camisole dress that was brown with a rich bronze sheen. She liked the way it contrasted with her pale skin and she could get away with wearing a dark lipstick, which she wouldn’t normally dare to do but Demmie was a bit of an outrageous person so Maggie thought that she would make the effort. She finished the outfit off with a pair of diamond studs and, of course, Bucky’s dog tags on her wrist. 

There was a noise in the living room so she peeked her head out. Bucky was hunched over a blueprint spread over the coffee table. He had a pen in his mouth and his dark eyebrows were scrunched together in concentration. 

‘Hey stranger, I didn’t hear you come in,’ Maggie said as she stepped into the living and locked her bedroom door behind her. 

Bucky had officially moved into Maggie’s spare room last week. Following Christmas Eve, Bucky slept over twice a week and then four times a week, slowly increasing until he’d officially asked her for a permanent spot. Maggie was more than happy to accommodate him. It did not miss her notice that his nightmares had been less severe recently. Personally, Maggie thought that having control over his own space was conducive to a calm sleep environment. In any case Maggie was in negotiations with Fury about knocking down the wall to the offices next door so she could create more work space. 

‘Hayley’s asked me to look at something …’ Bucky’s voice trailed off as she stepped out the door. Bucky looked dumbstruck, his mouth parted slightly as his eyes travelled up her legs, to her waist: Maggie saw a jolt run through him as he caught himself and quickly looked away. 

She knew her outfit wasn’t exactly appropriate 1940’s fashion but she wasn’t just a doctor, she was entitled to a life outside of work. Maggie knew it made some people uncomfortable to see her outside her role as a psychiatrist. It was like seeing your teacher outside of school when you were young and you had the sudden realisation that they were actually real people. 

‘Crap!’ She hissed. She hadn’t put on the necklace that Demmie had got her for Christmas. Quickly, she unlocked her door and snatched the gold chain from the dresser where she had left it. ‘Bucky, would you mind helping me with this? I’m running late.’ 

Before he could even answer, she had given him the necklace and perched on the edge of the sofa; her long dark hair brushed to oneside over her shoulder. 

Silently, he took that necklace from her hands. His breath brushed the hairs on her neck. 

‘All done?’ 

‘Yes,’ he said stiffly. 

‘Thanks Bucky-’ Maggie stood up from the sofa, ‘but are you still okay with me going out tonight? I can reschedule if you need?’ She asked gently, studying his face for any nervousness. He was showing a bit more colour than usual but nothing that she was worried about. 

He got up and stood at the far end of the living room, he turned his body away from her, his hands in his pockets and his back to the wall. ‘I hadn’t realised you were-’ he struggled to find the right word ‘- stepping out.’ 

Maggie could not hide her smile. ‘Yes, I am stepping out but I am stepping out with a girl friend from university…’ Her voice trailed off as Bucky’s face suddenly furrowed deep with concern. 

He stood up suddenly, his body had gone rigid. ‘You should take a chaperone with you: someone who will look out for you,’ he declared in a surprisingly stubborn and protective way. 

‘From what exactly?’ She asked, arching her eyebrow, trying to keep the mirth out of her voice. 

As Bucky wasn’t demonstrating any territorial tendencies towards her as some patients had developed in the past, from painful experience Maggie could recognise the difference. Maggie knew that inherently Bucky psychologically classed as a ‘Defender’: someone who gained purpose and fulfilment from looking after other people. It was probably also some leftover 1940’s sense of decorum. 

‘From catcallers and-’ he looked as if he didn’t want to say the word in front of her, ‘- and greaseballs.’ 

This time Maggie couldn’t help but smile. She stepped a little closer to where he had retreated, and reached out her hand to the pillow closests to him. Not reaching into his space but an act of friendship. He came forward to stand a little closer but his arms were across his chest, in a protective stance. 

‘I’m serious, Maggie, if you don’t want me to take you I’ll make Steve go with you... all the girls want him now anyway. Or we’ll both go, he can tag along with you and I’ll sit on the side watching in case the bartender gives you a Mickey Finn.’ 

‘Is that a cocktail?’ Maggie asked innocently. 

‘That’s it, I’m calling Steve,’ Bucky declared with finality and walked across the room to the emergency phone. Maggie quickly stepped in front of him, barring his way. 

‘Bucky, thank you for your concern but Demmie and I are only going out for dinner and if it will make you feel better-’ she grabbed a post-it-note and scribbled down the name and address of the restaurant and stuck it to his metal arm. He did not look impressed. ‘- that is the restaurant we are going to. Our reservation is at 9 o’clock which means I will be home before 11,’ she said this matter of factly, her back straight and her head tilted up so she could look him in the eye.

He let out a breath and took the note off his arm, studying it for a second before putting it in his jean pocket. ‘Okay,’ he said finally in a resigned voice. 

Maggie smiled and picked up her purse and coat. She suddenly felt a little anxious about leaving him. She walked a couple of paces towards the door before turning back to him. He had sat back down on the sofa but was looking at the note in his hands. 

‘You may escort me to my car, Sergeant Barnes, if you wish,’she grinned at him and beckoned him with a nod of her head. 

‘You’re such a nerd,’ he smirked as he opened the door for her. 

‘Keep telling yourself that, princess.’ 

They were waiting for the elevator as two military personnel rounded the corner. They were both wearing fatigues and had access passes for the barracks downstairs clipped to their chests. It wasn’t unusual at this time of year, when there weren’t many people on base, for the corridors to be patrolled. One of the young officers did a double take when he saw them, his companion jabbed him in the side with the butt of his gun and the man forced his eyes down. 

Maggie absently watched the floor numbers count down on the LED screen above the elevator door so she didn’t catch what was said, all she heard was muffled voices, but Bucky certainly did. His head snapped in their direction and before she knew it Bucky was marching after them, his body coiled like a predators. 

She caught his elbow and put herself in front of him. His eyes were wild and his lips were pulled over his teeth in a snarl. The two officers hesitated and slowly began to walk backwards as if they were afraid of showing their backs. 

‘Maggie, let me go! You didn’t hear…’

‘Bucky, you don’t need to act like the animal they pretend you are.’ She said passionately, gripping his arm tightly, she forced him to meet her gaze. ‘Whatever they said about you, you and I know it's not true!’ 

Bucky opened his mouth to speak, his body relaxing slightly, when she abruptly turned on her heel and shouted down the corridor.

Just because she didn't want Bucky getting in trouble doesn't mean they would get away with it. Luckily, Maggie had to sign off all the mental health assessments for military personnel.

‘Hey, Kowschi, I’m sorry you were so bullied at school but you don’t need to try and prove how masculine you are by taking it out on other people. We get it, you’re insecure about your penis.’ Maggie’s fists were clenched by her side as she sucked in a lungful of air. ‘Also Marks, it would be a shame if you were to suddenly get trapped in an enclosed space. Maybe it will happen in the locker room or in the gym, who knows, it could happen anytime and I would hate for it to happen when you least expect it. A dark hot enclosed space with no light or chance of escape.’

She glared at them for a moment, daring them to speak when the elevator chimed. 

‘That was so unprofessional of me,’ Maggie giggled as the elevator doors closed. 

‘Was that true about Kowschi?’ Bucky asked, despite the broad grin on his face, his anger all but forgotten. 

‘No of course not, but other people won’t know that will they? Oh boy, I bet that lands me in an HR seminar.’ She couldn’t help laughing at the smile on Bucky’s face. It was so light, she almost wished she were staying at home tonight. ‘Friday, can you let my driver know that I will be down presently,’ Maggie spoke into the communicator pad.

It still felt strange to speak to the AI when Vision was a couple of floors up. 

‘Of course, Dr Isle. I shall let him know right away, but there has been an accident on Moor Street, would you like me to let Miss Demmie know you will be approximately 10 minutes late?’ Friday answered efficiently.

‘Yes, please Friday. Thankyou.’ Maggie used to imagine that Jarvis’ voice was the voice of God. The thought felt strange now that Vision was upstairs. 

‘Have I told you when I first moved to New York?’ Maggie asked Bucky lightly. They were on the thirty second floor, they had time to chat. 

It was only in such a confined space that Maggie realised how big Bucky really was, if she hadn’t known him she would have taken one look at his biker boots, scowl and bulging biceps and got out at the next floor. No wonder those soldiers had made a nasty comment, fear invoked defensive reactions in people, especially those in military positions. 

Bucky shook his head. 

‘It was a little while after Steve’s body was discovered. I was lecturing at a conference in Cardiff when Nick Fury came to see me. He offered me the position as Head of Psychiatric Medicine and an apartment in New York when we were still based at Stark Towers. That was what won it for me: New York City, the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps…’

‘The old razzle dazzle,’ Bucky said ruefully. 

‘Damn right! And on my very first day, I rode the subway and I got mugged-’ 

Maggie saw with her keen eye that Bucky’s chest hitched slightly. ‘Fury should have had someone with you...’ 

‘It doesn’t matter if I had someone with me or not, it would have happened anyways.’ 

‘Not if I’d been with you,’’ Bucky said this in a very deliberate and even way which was probably more alarming than if he had shouted it. His metal hand gripped the rail running around the walls of the elevator, Maggie could see the indentation his silver hand had made on the chrome. ‘Did you get hurt?’ 

‘He didn’t get a chance, I was so shocked, I broke my umbrella over his head!’ She chuckled, imagining the scene; surrounded by Japanese tourists taking pictures and her whacking a Macy’s umbrella over her mugger’s head. 

‘That’s my girl,’ as Bucky said this something in Maggie's tummy did a strange little flip flop. 

‘But the point is Bucky, if I was afraid of getting shouted at, or mugged, or of handsy guys; no matter if I had someone with me or not, I would never go out or experience anything new. And I think, you and I, should not have to live in fear of the things that may or may not come.’ 

Fear was something that plagued Bucky even if he didn’t know it. Fear of getting attached to people, of them being used against him, of being punished for his memories. Fear could rule your past as much as it could your future. 

The bell pinged and the doors slid open. They stepped out into the white marble foyer, now empty of all except the security guard sat at his desk. He tipped his hat to them as they passed. Maggie’s heels click clacked as she walked: as always Bucky walked as silent as a cat on the prowl. 

There was a large black Sudan waiting beyond the glass door but the heavens had opened and outside was a blizzard. Thankfully, the driver, a very burly looking gentleman with a moustache, was waiting under an umbrella just outside the doorway. 

‘So, do you have any plans tonight?’ Maggie asked just before they reached the door. 

‘Clint suggested starting a tv show called Game of The Throne, but I think he was talking to Steve more than me,’ Bucky shrugged. 

‘Well, why don’t you wait and see? You never know they might pleasantly surprise you,’ as Maggie said this she placed her hand on his forearm and gave it a little squeeze before walking out into the snow. 

As she settled down in her seat, she watched him through the blackout windows of the car. 

Maggie pressed the metal sensor on her dog tag, and she watched as Bucky raised his hand to his neck, pressing his own. As the car pulled away, he stood watching until the car disappeared. 

** 

‘Thanks, Mike. I really appreciate the lift,’ Maggie said as she stepped out of the car and quickly tucked under Mike’s umbrella. 

‘It’s my pleasure, Dr Isle. I hope you had a pleasant evening?’ He asked holding open the glass door to Avenger’s headquarters for her. 

It had been a more than pleasant evening! The restaurant was an exclusive establishment that had just opened up. Not even Stark had managed to get a table yet but Demmie knew how to pull some strings. They caught up on the latest gossip and both their research projects. 

Demmie was putting together a new team of research fellows to look into gene therapy and forensic coding. Maggie was so proud of her, Demmie was changing the world for the better. 

‘Have you thought anymore about Banner’s job offer?’ Demmie asked as she passed Maggie a rather large grey goose martini. Demmi knew Maggie’s preferred cocktail and had them waiting as Maggie arrived. 

Maggie was feeling overly warm and sleepy after eating a luxurious main course of roast duck breast, sticky pickled cabbage and buttery forest mushrooms. This was her second martini of the night, one more would send Maggie straight to sleep. 

Maggie looked away, taking a sip from her cocktail glass. ‘I’ve decided to turn it down-’ Demmie choked on her olive, ‘- I know what you are going to say, Dem, I know but working with SHIELD keeps me under the radar and…’

‘You shouldn’t have to live in fear for the rest of your life. It's not fair on you. He’ll be caught and when…’ Demmie said kindly, reaching across the table to take her friends hand. 

Maggie felt like such a fraud. How could she tell Bucky not to live in fear, to move on with his life and not worry about his past catching up with him. When she was literally hiding behind SHIELD. 

Maggie called it a night soon after their souffles had arrived. With the time distance and seminars she had run all day Demmie was flagging and soon they both stood, stifling their yawns as their cars arrived to take them home. Though not before she had got Mike to stop off at her favourite all night doughnut shop on the way home. 

***

‘Friday, is Bucky still up?’ She asked as she got into the elevator. 

‘Mr Barnes is currently in the gym, would you like to let him know that you have returned?’ 

‘No, thanks.’ 

The wet night air had caught a bitter chill and her feet were hurting. So she stopped off at the flat and changed into some of her more presentable pajama bottoms and a fluffy grey jumper before jumping back into the elevator and heading up to the top floor. 

She had never been to the gym before, favouring hiking in the surrounding mountains to sweating over a treadmill, but she found the room by following the sound of thudding leather. As Maggie rounded the corner she found Bucky, body bent and head bowed as he punched and grappled with what looked like a reinforced punching bag hung from the ceiling with chains. His kicks landed so hard the air whooshed out of the bag. 

He must have been here for hours, Maggie thought as she carefully stepped into the gym. His t-shirt was soaked through with sweat and there were weights strewn across the floor as if they had been tossed about. 

‘Hey, whatever that guy said to you I think he’s had enough,’ Maggie called out over the noise of Bucky’s punches. He brushed some wet hair that had fallen from his bun as he looked up. He shot her an elusive smirk and came across to where she now perched on a weight bench. 

‘Yeah, well he’s a New York Giants fan so he probably deserves it.’ He replied lightly and began unwrapping the protective tape from his hands. On closer inspection Maggie could see that he was tired, his face looked care worn. 

‘I guess that’s the equivalent of being a Manchester United fan to a Manchester City supporter?’ 

Bucky chuckled and dabbed his forehead with a towel before tossing it in a nearby wash bin. ‘So, how was your girl’s night out?’

Maggie’s heart felt light. She couldn’t believe that it hadn’t occurred to her before to seek Bucky out in the gym. The gym represented a place where he had control over his own body, where he could work out his emotions by breaking a sweat. Maggie knew Bucky and Steve started their days by running together and then training but she hadn’t realised how relaxed he would be here.

‘Really good, thanks. I was glad we could catch up but the restaurant was a bit fancy for my taste. It was like you weren’t sure if you should eat the food or put it on the wall, which is why,’ she retrieved the large box of doughnuts that she had so far managed to hide behind her back, ‘-I come bearing gifts.’

Bucky made an indecent noise as Maggie opened up the box of goodies. ‘You’re trying to fatten me up, aren’t you?’ 

‘Damn straight.’ He didn’t look to cut up about it. In fact he looked like the cat who had got the cream. 

After nearly 5 months together Maggie had finally discovered that doughnuts were Bucky absolute, all time favourite dessert. She especially made sure to get traditional style doughnuts like krulers and bear claws as well a couple of modern twists. Bucky was very taken with the pistachio and white chocolate kind the Maggie herself loved. 

She couldn’t help but smile as Bucky tucked into the box, icing sugar dusting his stubble. He was sitting on a bench, a towel draped around his neck, the muscles in his shoulders gleamed with sweat and he impatiently brushed hair out of his eyes as he took another bite of the pastry. 

Suddenly, he glanced up and caught her looking at him. 

‘You know, I’ve never used one of these,’ she said rather lamely, pointing at the punching bag. 

Bucky dusted off his hands and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. ‘I thought you were an army brat?’ 

‘I am, but my first calling was to medicine-’ she turned back towards the punching bag and rolled up her sleeves, ‘- but this really doesn’t look so hard.’ 

She pulled her elbow back and threw her fist. It made a pathetic little tap .  Bucky promptly choked on his doughnut and let out a howl of laughter so loud that it made Maggie’s ear ring. 

‘No, no, wait, let me try this again.’ Maggie stuck out her tongue in concentration as she lined herself for another try. ‘Would you shut up, I’ll do this if it kills me.’ She shouted over her shoulder but couldn’t help grinning as Bucky hid his face in his hands as his body shook. 

‘Alright, this is getting painful to watch,’ he sighed, a chuckle escaping him once or twice as he walked over to her. He cleared his throat adopting a professional manner. ‘Hold out your fist.’ 

She did as she was told. Smirking slightly as he tutted at her. 

‘Firstly, you’re holding your fist all wrong,’ he informed her matter of factly. Gently, one hand bracing her on her wrist, wrapping around the dog tags, Bucky unfurled her fingers and rearranged them so her thumb was on the outside. ‘Secondly, you’re stance in garbarg.’ 

Bucky studied her stance, how her shoulder moved, making her slowly extend her arm. He stepped around her and made small alterations to her form. Maggie fought to keep the smile off her face. 

‘Okay, try again but this time I want you to step forward with your right leg,-’ he tapped her thigh and pressed his hand to her shoulder blade, pushing her shoulder forwards, simulating the motion. ‘- lean and then swing.’ 

This time when her fist connected with the bag, it made a loud slap. Nowhere near as fierce as Bucky’s had but it was much better. 

She blew on her knuckles and flexed her fingers. ‘Well, most things are about brain over brawn, anyways.’ 

Bucky studied her for a moment, his eyebrows crinkled together. ‘I should teach you.’ It wasn’t really a question. It was like Bucky had let a thought slip out of his head. He repeated with more surety. ‘I should teach you how to fight.’ 

Maggie sighed and beamed back at him, a warm feeling billowed in her chest. ‘As much as I would love to Bucky, ‘primum non nocere.’ 

As a doctor, the most important Hipoocratic oath was “First, do no harm”. Maggie took this very seriously. 

‘Nulla Tenaci invia est via.’ Bucky retorted quickly.  _ For the tenacious, no road is impassable _

Maggie laughed and cocked her eyebrow. ‘Sergeant Barnes, I didn’t know you knew latin!’ She nudged his shoulder jovially as she walked past, sitting down on a bench. ‘But it won’t help, I am afraid you won't be able to make me into a soldier. Sure I know anatomically what will incapacitate someone; kidneys, kneecaps, arteries, avoid the breast bone but I am bound by ethics.' 

‘I wish Steve had believed that back in Brooklyn.’ Bucky often referred to the 1940’s as ‘back in Brooklyn’. 

Maggie smiled wistfully. ‘Did he really get into that many fights? Somehow I still can’t picture him getting into any sort of trouble. I mean, he looked so fragile.’ 

‘Like you wouldn’t believe,’ Bucky let out a breathy kind of laugh and sat next to her on the bench. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, looking down at his hands as if something weighed on him. ‘Can you do me a favour?’ 

Surprised, Maggie turned to him. ‘That would depend on what you need?’ 

‘Let me give you some training, even if it's just defensive?’ He said earnestly, his face was open and his grey eyes seemed to search for something.

‘Why?’ Maggie heard herself ask. 

‘I worry about you.’ He looked away, shrugging. 

Maggie knew there was something more but he was trying to downplay it.  Maggie smiled and nodded, ‘sure thing, Bucky.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as always thank you for reading and please comment. I love hearing what you think and really helps me keep up my motivation to write. 
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to thank Pandalandalopalis for inspiring me to write this story. Her work The Things We've Done is amazing and inspiring so please give it a read.


	9. Triumph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie couldn’t scream. Her jaw, her spine, her legs had all seized up as electricity surged from the tip of the baton, through the base of her neck and rampaged around her body. It was like hitting your “funny bone” except there’s no end, you can’t escape from it.
> 
> Maggie and Bucky run into trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its finally here! The plot thickens.

**February**

Steve popped his head around the kitchen door. ‘Doctor, do you have a minute?’ 

Maggie smiled and set aside her paperwork. She had been catching up on some medical journals that needed her attention but the sun was shining and the crisp autumn air was enticing her outside. Any distraction was a welcome one. ‘For you Steve, I have two.' 

He flashed his sparkling smile as he, a little nervously, walked into the kitchen and leaned against the breakfast bar. Maggie tried to set him at ease by busying herself around the kitchen, putting away her breakfast dishes. But a slight hint of nervous energy seemed to sit on his shoulders.

‘I wanted to let you know that I am going out of town for a few days,’ he talked to his feet as he said this. 

‘ And I take it that where you are going is need-to-know information?’ Maggie asked, arching her eyebrow but the way he returned her look almost mournfully made her stop suddenly. Her hackles raised. ‘You can’t tell Bucky where?’ There was an edge of anger in her tone. 

‘He knows I can’t-’ 

Maggie let out a long sigh before smoothing the tea towel down on the kitchen counter. ‘Doesn’t mean that he won’t resent it, Steve. ’ 

Even before saying this Maggie knew that Steve was feeling bad. He felt he was betraying his friend but it was a necessary evil in the name of duty. 

She cleared her throat. ‘Ok, thankyou for letting me know. Bucky, will worry- I mean, I will too, of course, but you know what I mean. Is it much point me saying be careful?’ 

He chuckled at this and shrugged. ‘You can’t be too careful in my line of work, that’s why I’m taking Natasha with me.’ 

‘My mistake, you’ll need to protect the bad guys from Nat!’ 

‘Tell me about it but I actually came by to talk to you about something else. I’ve had Barton tracking an export company based in Romania. They have had dealings with Hydra in the past supplying them with machinery and recently-’ he turned suddenly to her, hesitating a little as he spoke, ‘I don’t want to scare you.’ 

‘Steve, there is no point sugar coating anything for my benefit. My patients describe the horrors that they relive every night. If there is a threat, I need to be aware of it.’ 

‘There has been an increase in their activity in NYC. We don’t know if it's connected to Bucky or not, but I thought I should tell you.’ 

Maggie chewed her fingernails. ‘Does Bucky know?’ 

‘ We have nothing concrete yet to tell him. I don’t want to drag up the Winter Soldier if I don’t have to. So, no, I haven't.’ The way that Steve said this, his face downturned and a muscle jumping in his jaw, Maggie knew that Steve had not made the decision lightly. 

Maggie worried at her lip. If something had Steve worried enough to keep something from Bucky, then it was definitely serious. ‘We were planning to go to a motorbike exhibition at the Smithosian but I think I’ll hang fire on that until you get back.’ 

‘No, no. You should go-’ Steve arranged his features so he looked cheery, ‘I’ll arrange for some extra security to take you but only on one condition?’

‘What condition?’ Maggie smiled innocently. She already knew what he was going to say. Good thing Steve didn’t play poker because he face betrayed everything. 

‘If you take me there once I’m back,’ Steve asked ruefully. 

‘Deal!’ Maggie laughed and shook his hand in a business like manner. ‘I’ll even throw in lunch.’ 

***

Maggie had booked the tickets weeks ago and had mostly forgotten them until recently. The Smithsonian were celebrating 120 since the invention of the motorbike. 

It had come at a good time. Maggie had been looking for a way to get Bucky out of the Triskelion more and into wider society. Luckily, Hayley had him working on a modification for an electric motorbike so he seemed interested in the idea.

Inside the museum however, he’d been quiet and stiff. His eyes darted into the corner of every room and when a tour group approached too close he would turn away, pulling his cap down over his face. He would clutch his dog tags around his neck, holding them for comfort but never pressing them. 

Maggie wanted to reach out to him but she was worried he would shy away. Her heart broke every time he flinched when someone came too close or a child shrieked. She only hoped that she hadn’t set his recovery back but forcing him to do too much too soon. 

Half an hour after arriving, Maggie suggested they go for lunch and silently, nodding his head, Bucky agreed. 

It was only when they were in the line of a hotdog stand, on a quiet street away from the museum, that Bucky spoke. 

‘So Steve MacQueen was an actor?’ He asked almost a little tentatively. His agitation was leaving him but Maggie could still tell that he was uncomfortable. 

‘Steve MacQueen wasn’t just an actor. He was the King of Cool.’ She assured him playfully. They both stepped forward in the queue. ‘ He was a notorious womanizer, he raced cars semi-professionally, he did all of his own stunts. My grandfather loved his films, so you could say that I grew up with them.’

In fact it had been a Sunday tradition to watch a Steve Macqueen movie right after lunch. He had even been Maggie’s first crush, although she wouldn’t tell Bucky that.

‘In the film The Great Escape there is this amazing bit where he jumps over a German tank barricade on the back of a Truimph TR6.’ 

Bucky smiled sceptically. ‘Those barricades were pretty high but then again, I saw Steve do a lot of dangerous stuff on the back of a bike.’ 

‘I keep meaning to suggest…’ She was cut off by the shrill ring of her phone. She tutted in annoyance as she pulled it out of her handbag. 

ACCEPT A CALL FROM DAN RIGBY. 

Maggie swore, clicking the green accept button. ‘Bucky, I have to take this. Are you okay with my hotdog order?’ She asked, stepping out of the queue. 

‘Bratwurst, sauerkraut, extra mustard, one fried pickle.’ He smiled broadly and listed off by heart. 

‘Thankyou!’ She mouthed, before turning her attention to the phone. 

‘Maggie, are you there?’ Dan’s voice sounded a little airy through the line. 

‘Dan, somethings wrong?’ Her brother only ever rang her when something was wrong. Maggie had spent most of their childhood cleaning up his messes. 

‘Nothing ‘wrong’ wrong, it's just…’ 

‘Dan!’ Maggie under her breath, pressing the phone almost painfully to her ear. She glanced over her shoulder as Bucky stepped forward to talk to the vendor. 

‘Fine. I need a favour.’ 

Maggie’s heart sank. ‘You’re in jail, aren't you?’

‘No, no, nothing like that, this time. It’s just…’Dan hesitated a moment. ‘I need you to come and look after the kids for a few days.’

‘Why? What's happened?’ Something seized in her chest. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be small. Dan lived in Utah on his wife’s cattle farm with their two children. It wasn’t as if Maggie could be there and back in a night.

‘So, it’s a funny story really-’ 

‘Spit it out, Dan!’ Her temper flared in a way that could only be caused by her brother. 

‘I’ve broken my leg. I’m being discharged after tomorrow. The kids have been staying at their friends houses but Helen’s got a veterinary conference all next week in Vancouver that she can’t get out of…’

‘So you want me to come and look after you till she gets back?’ Maggie pinched the bridge of her nose. A headache had suddenly sprang up behind her left eye. 

‘It’ll be great-’ Maggie recognised Dan’s best con man voice, ‘ the kids love you and you can bring your boyfriend along…’

‘I don’t have a boyfriend,’ Maggie retorted quickly. 

‘Like hell you don’t. I have never known you to trust anyone with your food order. If he’s not your boyfriend, you’ve secretly got married again!’ 

‘Bucky is not my boyfriend!’ She practically growled into the receiver. 

‘Oh, so he’s got a name and your hotdog order! Yep, you are definitely dating Mr Bucky. How long has it…’ 

Maggie could tell he was enjoying this. ‘Look, Dan! I can’t talk about this now, I’m working but once I’m back in the office I’ll see what I can work out, okay?’ 

Before he could reply, Maggie had put the phone down. 

‘Problem?’ Bucky asked as he passed her her hotdog. Bratwurst, sauerkraut, extra mustard, one fried pickle just how she liked it. 

‘Not a problem, just a pain in my ass,’ Maggie sighed in exasperation as she took a huge bite.

Bucky smiled but didn’t say anything. Maggie knew he’d heard everything that had been said on the phone but luckily, he had the good graces not to mention what her brother had said. 

Since the exhibition had been too much sensory stimulation for Bucky, Maggie felt like she had let him down, pushed him too hard. She wanted to take him somewhere that had wide and open spaces. But even before she could suggest it, Private Frederickson was waving them back to the car.

‘You should take Jefferson Avenue, Lincoln Street gets chockablock this time in the afternoon,’ Maggie suggested to the Private, leaning forward from her place in the seat. 

‘This is the route that has been preapproved, Ma’am,’ Frederickson replied in a clipped tone. 

Maggie whispered to Bucky under her breath. ‘ I hate being called Ma'am. I’m not old enough to be a Ma'am.’ 

Maggie tried to ignore the extra security as they were driven back to the Triskelion. They rode as part of a convoy, one car in front and one behind as they made their way through downtown traffic. 

She stared out the window with a glazed expression. Maggie resented having their afternoon cut short, in truth she'd been looking forward to spending time with Bucky more than the exhibition. The Triskelion could often be oppressive and their recent run in the military personnel had made her more jumpy than usual. 

‘You’re worried about your brother?' Bucky asked quietly, a small frown creasing his brow. 

Maggie realised she had been quiet for quite a while, busy watching the world go by. 

Private Frederickson pulled into a line of traffic, grumbling slightly when a removals van cut in front of them and separated the front of the convoy. Frederickson spoke into his earpiece that they should have taken Jefferson Avenue. Apart from that he pretty much ignored them as he drove. 

‘We don’t always get on. In fact he’s an idiot but he’s my idiot.’ Maggie smiled reluctantly. 

In truth they had never really got along but she always ended up looking after him regardless. But this wasn't what was truly bothering her. 

Frederickson's fingers impatiently drummed the steering wheel as they pulled off from a green light. 

'Look Bucky,-' she said, twisting to face him in her seat, 'I'm sorry about today. I pushed you to go to the exhibition when I knew you weren't ready for it because I wanted to hang out with you. That was selfish of me …' 

'I don’t think it’s selfish, I…'

From that moment onwards that universe faltered, slowing down until each second was as long as a lifetime. 

Maggie distinctly remembered the wild eyed fear that crossed Bucky’s face and his mouth formed her name, crying out for her. But she didn’t hear it. She didn’t hear anything. 

On the first landing, all the windows were blown out of the car. Maggie watched in detached fascination as the glass flew through the air. Only the windshield remained in place but it was smashed completely, turning white with the amount of cracks . However, each time the car came crashing back down to earth, her body was shaken like a ragdoll. It felt like being shaken in God’s fist. 

Each time the car hit something, there was a loud crunch that sounded like a bomb going off.The grinding and crunching sounds were horrible. This happened over and over again. And once the car finally stopped tumbling and landed on the roof, it was still sliding. Maggie could smell the metal getting hot as it was ground away by the road surface. 

When the world was still, Maggie opened her eyes. Something dripped down her face; she couldn’t tell if it was blood or gasoline. 

The world didn’t make sense. 

Hanging upside would have been comical. Maggie’s hair stood on end and her legs dangled like she was on a roller coaster. 

Something was painful across her chest. Maggie needed to get out of the seat belt. The smell of gasoline was getting stronger. 

_ ‘Seat belts won't release while they are under tension,’  _ a distant voice in her head said. __

Maggie was hanging upside down from hers. She took one hand and placed it on the roof and pushed up to get her weight off the belt but her arms weren’t long enough to give her enough leverage. 

And then suddenly, Bucky’s face appeared. He was white as a sheet and his mouth was pulled into a thin line. ‘Maggie, can you hear me?’ He sounded very far away.

A thin line of red streamed from a cut on his cheek down into the neck of his t-shirt. 

_ You’re bleeding on your new shirt, Bucky _ , she thought but instead said. ‘My seatbelt is stuck.’ Her voice sounded loud in her ears. 

Bucky’s eyes scanned over her, looking for injuries. Curtly, he nodded and ripped out the seat belt lock with his metal hand. 

Maggie managed to brace herself on Bucky’s shoulders as she dropped but Bucky caught her and helped lower her to the roof of the car. Her knees gave way but she managed to crawl out what had been the passenger side window and joined Private Friederickson in collapsing on the pavement. 

The left side of Frederickson’s face was covered in blood, but he was on his hands and knees, speaking feverishly into his ear piece. 

Bucky helped her to her feet. 

‘Bucky-’ Maggie suddenly found it hard to speak, ‘your bleeding.’ 

She saw her hand reach up, like it had a mind of its own, and smudge away the line of blood from his face. Her palm came away bloody, his stubble felt scratchy against her skin: a pink smudge ran across his cheek in a wide arc where her thumb had touched his skin. 

Bucky froze, his body tense, his eyes questioning and suddenly uncertain as if he didn’t know how to react. His pale searched her face and then after a heartbeat his gaze softened. 

Maggie could hear her heartbeat. 

BANG! Bucky’s attention shot to a noise over Maggie’s shoulder. She spun just in time to see the doors of the van in front of them fly open. Men in black balaclavas spilled out, machine guns pressed to their shoulders.

Frederickson barely had time to raise his gun when one assailant shot him in the face. 

Maggie felt a fine mist of red cover her skin. 

People were spilling from their cars in panic. 

Blindly, she turned to run. Bucky’s flesh hand was holding hers painfully tight as they began to sprint through the lines of deserted cars. 

Something collided with her back, the air was punched out of her lungs as she slammed into the ground. She tried to roll away but the foot came down to stamp on her again. Her shoulder blades screamed in pain as the man’s heel pressed against her spine, forcing her into the ground.

Bucky was on the road, one man pinned him while another repeatedly slammed the butt of his gun into his face. Bucky’s metal arm glinted in the sun as he lashed out, grabbing the man’s elbow, twisting it viscously with a flick of his wrist. The man screamed.

‘Grab the woman. Kill the witnesses.’ A cold voice said. A man stood watching from on top of one of the abandoned cars, looking down at them with pitiless eyes and Maggie could see a red tattoo running down the side of his face. 

‘The bastard won’t die!’ 

Bucky snarled like an animal as he crushed the magazine of a machine gun, sending men flying over the roof of a car. 

‘Bring him then.’

Bucky hunched down, arm over his head as he was hailed with bullets.

Maggie screamed as a fist shot out, wrenching her head back, dragging her across ground by her hair. She fought and lashed out, biting her assailant's hand as he pulled off his glove and sinking her nails into his face. 

The man swore and bared his teeth cruelly at her as he raised his baton. 

Maggie couldn’t scream. Her jaw, her spine, her legs had all seized up as electricity surged from the tip of the baton, through the base of her neck and rampaged around her body. It was like hitting your “funny bone” except there’s no end, you can’t escape from it.

Maggie was limp as arms hoisted her off the ground. Someone jabbed a needle in her neck. 

Numbly, she thought about the risk of a  hematoma and infection but as they forced a black bag onto her head, Maggie realised she had bigger problems. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I shall be able to get the next chapter to you by tomorrow evening. 
> 
> Thankyou to all the kind people who have left comments and Kudos. I really appreciate it xx


	10. Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Automatically, she twisted her hands and pressed the dog tag which was still on her wrist. She needed to be brave.
> 
> Maggie and Bucky are kidnapped and interrogated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly! Did this chapter get out of hand!
> 
> Please see warnings for torture and violence
> 
> Also things start to heat up between Maggie and Bucky.

**February**

Maggie had a splitting headache. This was the first thing she registered as she woke up. She opened her eyes to the inside of a bag, its material was coarse and was making sweat run down the back of her neck. Her ears were ringing, a sharp and persistent hum but slowly three male voices grow louder and she began to hear their footsteps. They must be standing right outside the door. 

With a concerted effort she can make out one American accent. The other two have eastern European accents. Maggie cannot place them. 

The ringing continued and a dull pain at the bottom of her neck throbbed. Muscle spasm and blunt force. She would normally have tried to massage it but with a cold pang of fear, she realised her hands were bound: probably with cable ties judging by how they bit into her wrists. 

‘You were not supposed to put the soldier in the cell too, just the women!’

‘Well, where the hell am I supposed to put him? It's not as if we can put him in the office. You haven’t seen what he’s capable of, I have. The big guy might want the women in a soundproof cell but the Winter Soldier should be put in a lead lined box and thrown in the ocean.He’s an animal.’ The man spat on the floor. 

‘His arm seized up around her body, we did not have time to cut her out!’ 

‘Who is she anyway?’ 

‘Apparently, she’s got information that the big guy needs.’ 

‘Probably some government agent. I bet it's to do with nukes, it’s always to do with nukes.’ 

‘Would you shut up about the nukes. Nukes are old tech, worthless.’ 

‘What’s better than nukes then?’ 

‘I don’t know, but she definitely does. Why else would the Winter Soldier be guarding her?’ 

‘Maybe it's a coincidence.’ 

‘The big guy leaves nothing to coincidence.’ 

Suddenly a metal lock clanged dully and through the coarse weave of the hood, Maggie could make out a light illuminating a doorway. Footsteps scuffed over the concrete floor and the door slammed shut. 

{‘He doesn’t look that tough.’} One of the men goaded in russian and a baton let out a zap so loud it sounded like a cracking stone wall. There was a grunt of pain but no other noise. 

_ Bucky?!  _

Automatically, she twisted her hands and pressed the dog tag which was still on her wrist. She needed to be brave. 

‘Is she worth something? Maybe we can have her when the big guy is done. If she is not pretty, her organs could fetch a good price. She looks healthy enough.’ One man spoke with a thick European accent but not the same as the Russian man’s. Ukrainian, Maggie thought in the back of her mind. 

‘When have you ever cared if they were healthy, Anton,’ the Russian voice spoke, a noticeable lisp making him even more difficult to understand. 

Suddenly, the bag was off her head and a blinding light pushed into Maggie’s face. Tears quickly sprang into her eyes. 

‘Oh no, she will prove very popular on the market.’

‘Who are you?’ The American man asked. He had stubble and a black tooth in the front of his mouth. 

‘My name is Dr Maggie Isle. I am Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the SHIELD Institute,' she barely recognised her own voice. It was hoarse and sounded thin. 

‘Why are you with this man?’ A hand shot out and turned her chin towards the light but in the very corner of the concrete room she caught sight of a figure, chained and gagged, tied cruelly tight. Maggie caught a glint of Bucky’s eyes. They were cold and narrow, watching every move the American made. 

Despite her rising anger, she began to think quickly. 

‘ My name is Dr Maggie Isle. I am Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the SHIELD Institute.’ 

‘Why are you with this man?!’ He shouted into her face now. She could feel flecks of spit on her forehead. 

‘My name is Dr Maggie Isle. I am Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the SHIELD Institute…’ 

‘That won’t be your job much longer,’ the American laughed.

‘I gave you specific instructions to keep them separated!’ A man stood in the doorway, the lights from the corridor backlight his slender frame so his face was hidden in shadow. 

Maggie craned her neck, pulling her face out of the American’s grip. 

A young Japanese man in a black well tailored suit stepped into the cell. His hair was slicked back, half his face was covered in a bright red tattoo made up of scales and waves, the other half of his face wore a look of disgust. Two huge minders, both too wide to fit through the door stuffed themselves in behind their boss and began sizing up the others. 

_ He had been there. He was the one standing on the roof of the ca _ r.

The cell was getting very cramped, very quickly. 

‘No, can do, Mr  Yamaguchi . You said you wanted the woman alive and unharmed but Tin Man’s arm seized up around her when we shocked him and we couldn’t get him off till she came too. Then it was too late to move him.’ The American explained in a surly way, eyeing up the new comers. 

‘If I asked for her unharmed, why is she bleeding, Mr Clarkson?’ asked  Yamaguchi. 

Clarkson barely had time to open his mouth when one of the guard’s knives flashed. Clarkson’s made a gurgling sound as blood poured from his neck. His body collapsed on the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. 

Yamaguchi stepped over the corpse of Clarkson. 

‘Dr. Isle, I have brought you here this evening to speak to you about Colonel Henry Metcalfe,’ Mr Yamaguchi said, his voice was empty of any emotion, as if his men had not just executed a man in cold blood. 

Maggie’s lungs suddenly refused to expand.  _ Colonel Henry Metcalfe _

Mr Yamaguchi watched her with growing impatience, a tick forming in his right eye made his tattoo jump. 

‘Dr Isle, I hoped to have a civil conversation with you,’ he sighed and nodded for one of his men to stand behind Maggie’s chair. 

They wanted something from her. If they didn’t she’d be dead already. Maggie had value to them. She could use that. She would use that. 

‘Colonel Metcalfe?’ She heard herself ask. Her voice sounded very far away. ‘You know he was a patient of mine?’ 

‘Naturally.’ 

‘Then you know that I am unable to betray my patient’s confidentiality,’ she implored, letting a tremble of fear into her voice. 

‘I am a busy man, Dr Isle. It would be better for you if you told me all you knew of the Colonel.’

‘I would be betraying what I live my life for. My reason for being….’ Maggie quaked. 

‘How noble-,’ Yamaguchi’s voice was thick with sarcasm. ‘Get to the point.’ 

Maggie looked up at Yamauchi and spoke in a calm and even voice. ‘What do I get in return?’ 

‘You’re life?’ He said as it was the tiniest thing in the world. 

Maggie prayed she had the bravery to make this gambit to work.

‘I won’t bargain for my life, you obviously need me alive. But I will bargain for his…’ She could feel Bucky’s eyes on her. He grunted as he pulled against his chains and gnashed his teeth, but Maggie knew it was no use. 

Yamaguchi allowed himself a small smile. It was not friendly. ‘I will admit that the Winter Soldier was an unexpected surprise…’ He turned to watch Bucky struggle, as if he was a thoroughbred in his stable. 

Bucky’s lip curled into an ugly snarl but he remained darkly silent. 

‘He wasn’t your initial target?’ Maggie had guessed this already. 

‘He was a rumour. But you-’ he turned back to her and gave her an appraising look. ‘Dr Isle, were real flesh and blood.’ 

‘If you will have to release the Winter Soldier, I give you the information you want. But not before.’ Maggie’s voice was stronger than she felt. 

This was it. They danced about enough. This was Maggie’s line in the sand. 

Yamauchi watched her silently, studying her face. Maggie returned his stare icily. ‘How do you know the information that I want?’

‘Colonel Metcalfe is a complicated man. I am probably one of the few people who he would call a close friend.’ The words sounded hollow in her ears. 

‘More than just a close friend, from what I have been told.’ 

‘I don’t know what you have been told,’ Maggie retorted quickly. 

‘I cannot release the Winter Soldier. He will be a jewel in my family's crown,’ Yamaguchi said almost wistfully, twisting a signet ring on his index finger as he turned to watch Bucky appraisingly. 

_ ‘He was going to use Bucky as a weapon,’  _ a voice filled with dread cried in the back of Magie’s head. 

‘Colonel Metcalfe, he was a patient of mine before he went AWOL,’ Maggie blurted out .

Mr Yamaguchi slowly approached her, his red tattoo glinting in the dim overhead light. 

‘You knew him well?’ 

She swallowed. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. ‘I thought he was a better man than he was. He was one of my first ever patients.’ 

This was true. It had been in the early days of her career as psychiatrist when Colonel Metcalfe had been referred to her. 

‘Tell me about him?’ Yamaguchi's face was hungry, bearing down on her. 

Maggie felt obliged to speak. ‘He was referred to me for stress management. He told me he was having nightmares and a caffeine addiction. It is common in soldiers. They are given caffeine pills to do double duties.’ 

‘More,’ Yamaguchi demanded in a low voice. 

‘He was born in Perthshire in Scotland but was given to a Catholic boarding school,-’

‘More!’ 

‘Not without agreeing to my terms!’ Maggie snapped suddenly. Her fear was making her bold. Her adrenaline was making her reckless. All she knew was that she needed to get Bucky somewhere safe. 

Yamaguchi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, before turning away and walking towards his men on the other side of the room. ‘You’re stalling, Dr Isle. I find it tiresome.’ 

‘Tell me what you are looking for might make the process go faster,’ Maggie retorted dryly. 

‘Some time ago, Colonel Metcalfe approached my family with an offer of some very specialised merchandise. We have had business dealings with him in the past and accepted the deal. However two weeks ago he reneged on our agreement, taking our payment with him: 26 million US dollars to be precise. My family are not happy at all, Dr Isle.’ 

‘And you think I can tell you where he is?’ 

‘I know you can,’ Yamaguchi's smile twisted across his face. 

‘Not without agreeing to my terms first. I need assurances…’ Maggie began but Yamauchi’s hand shot from his side. He grabbed her face and forced it up to meet her eyes. 

‘You betray yourself, Dr Isle-’ Yamaguchi’s breathing was even though his chest pitched under his suit. ‘Bargaining for a man’s life shows that you care for him.’ 

‘He is a valuable asset,’ Maggie replied with difficulty, her teeth cutting into her cheeks as he pinched her face. 

‘Then let me incentivise you,’ he whispered, purring coldly in her ear. With an absent gesture, Yamaguchi’s men advanced on Bucky. Their batons crackled with energy waiting for their master’s signal. 

Bucky eyed them coldly but remained absolutely still. 

‘This is your last chance, Dr Isle. Tell me all you know or I shall torture the Winter Soldier to the brink of insanity and then rebuild him into my creature anyway.’ Yamaguchi’s voice was breathy with excitement. 

‘I…’ She began but Yamaguchi clicked his fingers. Maggie’s eyes were wide with horror, she didn’t know when she had started screaming.

The batons came down on Bucky’s chest, his neck, his back. He strained, panting between blows as his muscles constricted in agony. The gag muffled his cries but Maggie felt every blow that fell, every hitch of breath, every spark of agony. 

‘Stop!’ She screamed, desperately pulling at the ties on her hands. 

‘Tell me what I want to know,’ Yamaguchi retorted, encouraging his men to shock Bucky more. 

‘I can give you the Winter Soldier,’ Maggie cried breathlessly. 

Yamaguchi held up his hand. 

‘I can give you full and utter control of the Winter Soldier without having to recondition him-’ Maggie’s brain was working on overdrive. She held her dog tag tighter and hoped it would take away Bucky’s pain. ‘Think about having the full might of the Winter Soldier at your beck and call. Unquestioning, unresisting. ’ 

_ Please be okay! _

‘If you are referring to the red book, Dr Isle. Those codes are already common knowledge in the right circles, I don’t plan on letting him do my bidding without wiping his mind first.’ 

From the corner of her eye, Maggie saw Bucky tense.  _ He was terrified of losing what memories he had.  _

‘That won’t work anymore. Do you really think ShIELD would leave his access codes lying around after what happened in Washington.’ The men muttered together in Russian whilst Yamaguchi glared at her . Maggie found her voice getting stronger. ‘SHIELD is a world defense agency, we know how powerful an asset The Winter Soldier is, so we ensure he is always under our command.’

‘What are his command codes?’

‘It doesn’t matter what his codes are. I have to voice operate them! I am his code.’ 

‘You are lying!’ The Russian growled, teeth bared. Maggie barely saw his fist as it came down on her face but she felt the blood afterwards dripping on her knees as she slumped forwards. 

‘Why would I lie? You said it yourself, ‘Why was he guarding me?’ Because I am his key!’ She needed them to believe her, she prayed that they believed her. She put every ounce of conviction into her words. ‘You have all the power here and in return for my information, he remains unharmed. He’ll bring you so much money, your accountants will lose count.’

‘Prove it first.’ 

Maggie could not move her head to look at Bucky but she could feel him listening intently. 

She was going to have to bullshit her way through this. 

‘You’ll need to remove his restraints and gag,’ Maggie tried to sound commandingly to hide the slight fallter of her voice. 

Yamaguchi snorted. ‘ I think not, Dr Isle.’ 

‘If his sensors detect that he is bound while I try to do the transfer it will send our telemetry straight to the Triskelion.’ Maggie snapped and then let a cold smile spread over her face. ‘Don’t worry, if we try anything you have my permission to shoot us.’ 

‘Codename Winter Soldier. Access code: MAQUEEN 232145. Confirm: what is my name and rank?’ Maggie forced out her best doctor's voice. Speaking to the dark as much as she was speaking to Bucky, she hoped beyond that he knew she would never betray him. 

‘Dr Maggie Isle, Head of Psychiatric Medicine at the SHIELD Institute, senior neurological engineer, 1st class agent of SHIELD.’ Maggie caught her breath. Bucky spoke in a cold, anotronic machine. There was none of her friend in that voice. 

Yamaguchi hesitated and then nodded. His men undid Bucky’s restraints but kept their batons raised. 

‘And you can hand over voice access to him?’ The Russian asked this time. 

‘I can but he has two pressure points that need my DNA to access his main frame. Without that you’ll set off telemetry…’ 

Before she knew it the plastic ties on her hands were cut and the chair kicked away. She sprawled to the floor. Her ankles were still tied and painfully tight. Before she could gather herself, one of the men grabbed her under the arm and dragged her across the concrete cell. He threw her against the back of Bucky’s chair, she barely caught herself. 

‘Hurry!’ Yamaguchi shouted, his lips pulled over his teeth in a greedy sneer. 

She straightened up and held her hand up to her captors. ‘I am going to access his pressure points now, and I will confirm the termination of my command codes, if I have your word that you won't harm him..’ 

There was a phrase spoken in Japanese that she took as confirmation. 

It was then she realised that she was Bucky’s shoulder so hard her hand hurt. He had not moved a inch and remained in his auntonatronic state. She release him and stepped into front of him

Kneeling on the hard concrete, she tugged up his jean leg and placed her hand on the back of his calf and reaching up, she slid her hand through his dark hair so it rested index finger rested on the very tip of his left ear. His eyes looked past her: blank and empty. There was bated breath, guns shifted in the men’s hands, and she leaned in and spoke. 

‘On my signal-’ this was barely louder than the blood pumping in her veins. She cleared her voice and stood, doing her best to block Bucky from view before speaking loudly. 

‘Access Washington, Delta, Maine, Steve!’ Bucky moved faster than she ever thought possible. She threw herself to the wall and clear, just as bullets fired, ricocheting off the walls and cries of rage filled the air.

The light bulb exploded overhead in a shower of sparks and an emergency sign sprang to life on the other side of the room. It cast a red glow which only caught a flailing arm or butt of a machine gun. 

Maggie groped desperately along the floor looking for something to cut her ankles ties with. She heard the sound of the metal being kicked towards her and just as her hands closed around a thin metal object her world was yanked upwards. 

A snarling face of teeth and spit and stubble and blood; illuminated by the weak red light of the emergency sign pressed all its gross strength against her neck and slammed her head back against the wall. Blind with panic, she struck upward with all her strength. The sickening blow shook the bones of her arm right up to the shoulder. 

She struck again and again and again...She remained standing. Numb to all around her as the man slowly slumped down her body, smearing a warm trail of blood as he fell. 

Suddenly the door cell door was wrenched off its hinges and Bucky, gun in hand, peered into the hallway beyond. 

Maggie felt her body move before she realized it. She watched as an alien version of herself cut the plastic tie around her ankles with the knife she had picked up from the floor and stepped over the man’s body. 

Bucky did a double take as she joined him against the door. Maggie didn’t know if he said anything because the ringing in her ears was like a clanging bell. Instead he pushed her behind him and held her close with a fist full of her jumper. 

They moved down dimly lit corridors that Maggie didn’t see. Her mind was a fog but Bucky kept her moving, his body coiled around the gun and his arm glinting in the neon light above but tugging her along behind him until they reached a large fire door. 

He stopped, checked the gun’s magazine and then spoke in a very deliberate way. His voice was barely audible over the pounding in her head. ‘Stay here, I am going to find us a way out. Hide if anyone comes.’ 

‘I am going into shock, Bucky, just thought I should let you know,’ she heard herself say. She was cold all over but her mind was racing with half forgotten pop songs from her youth, images of grotesque injuries from her years as a resident in Glasgow, Henry Metcalfe smiling over a cup of coffee. 

Bucky touched her cheek and turned her head to look at him. ‘I know, Maggie, and you’ve hit your head. I’ll be back as quickly as I can.’ And he was gone. 

She slumped down against the cold wall. Or was she cold? She couldn’t tell anymore. At some point, Maggie physically un-curled her fingers from around the scalpel's pummel. 

‘Maggie Isle, you need to take a breath,’ she said to herself, willing the air back into her lungs. She took one shaky breath and then another. A painful lump was forcing itself up her throat but she refused to cry. Not now. Instead she began to check herself over for injuries. 

Bruising on the jaw and eye socket. Abrasion to the wrists and left forearm. Grade 2 concussion from blunt force trauma to the occipital bone. Her  scapula felt t ender but without Maggie could not assess the extent of the muscle damage. 

Bucky returned looking flushed. There was blood on his face and a new gun at his side. Maggie didn’t ask. 

‘We are very lucky,’ he said in a hushed voice. Without waiting for her response, he took her by the hand and steered her into a large compound with high concrete walls topped with barbed wire. And yet for all that, the gate stood open. Bucky had worked quickly. 

Bucky disappeared for a moment and returned pushing a large motorbike. It was a chopper with a long front nose and wide handles that had Japanese characters along the leather seat. 

Before Maggie knew what was happening, Bucky had swung his leg over the bike and had pulled her across his lap. She began to protest but he pulled her closer, her legs draped over his thigh and put her arms around his neck. 

‘This bike wasn’t made for pillion so you’ll have to hold on to me as tight as you can, Maggie’ Bucky said reassuringly, shifting her a little as he reached for the handles. 

‘I’ve never been on a motorbike before,’ Maggie said quietly, as she found the strength to hold his neck tighter. 

Bucky shot her a rare and cheeky smile, his blue eyes were alive with energy. ‘Well, you’re the first dame I’ve stolen a bike with so this is a night of firsts.' He shouted the last part over the roar of the engine and before Maggie could catch her breath they were flying along a road lined with dense and dark trees. 

****

It had been lunchtime when their car had been rammed. Maggie couldn’t tell how long they had been in the transport, but now it was pitch black. It had been raining for the last hour, the cold set into her bones and no matter how close huddled to Bucky’s body she couldn’t get warm. In the February night air, Maggie’s wet woolen jumper had frozen to her skin, her teeth chattered in her head.

The stars were full out before they stopped. 

‘Why are we-?’ Maggie but Bucky pressed his finger to his lips and listened. There were the noises of the forest moving in the breeze and birds but in the far distance Maggie could make out the sound of engines. 

‘Bastard!’ Bucky swore under his breath and turned the engine off. ‘We’re almost out of fuel, if they’re on our tail there isn’t much point in staying on the road.’ Bucky growled, putting the foot of the bike down and helped Maggie off his lap. 

Her legs were wobbly so she paced to get her blood flowing again. She wiped her sopping hair away from her face. 

‘We could head into the woods and double back, try and get back to the compound. They must have something we can contact Steve with. But then again, I haven’t seen a power line for miles, it must have had a generator so maybe it didn’t-’ Bucky spoke to himself. 

‘Bucky, look at this,’ Maggie called from the side of the road. It was an old painted sign, partly hidden in the ferns by the side of the road. It was a painted cabin with a big arrow pointing right with the words ‘2 miles to Lake Morrison’ in faded red writing. 

‘Maggie, can you make it two miles?’ Bucky asked with concern, looking over her bloodied face with worried eyes. She must have looked bad because Bucky looked like he had been through hell. His lips were oozing blood and his eyebrow was swelling in an angry bruise but worse were the burn marks the cattle prods had left on his neck and chest: angry welts that had melted his clothing and skin. 

She smiled up at him and for a moment knew how Steve must have felt all those years ago with Bucky acting as his guardian angel. ‘I’ll be fine,’ Maggie declared, making her voice sound stronger than she was and started off into the woods. She heard Bucky ditch the bike and sign in a thicket of bushes and jog to catch her up. 

Bucky’s eyes were better in the dark so he led the way once the trees got thicker. He moved with quiet grace not making a sound and stopping to listen every now and then. Maggie tripped along as best she could in the poor light but eventually after putting her foot down a rabbit hole, Bucky had to take her hand and lead her. 

It felt like they had walked for hours but the moon was high when Maggie began to smell the lake. It was not big as Lakes go but you would have needed a boat to cross it. The rain hissed against its service. At the edge of the tree line, they spied the wooden cabin. It was cozy looking with a stone chimney stack and four windows facing the lake. It was shut up for the winter but after making sure it was safe Bucky made short work of the latch and lock. 

The cabin was pitch black but as Maggie closed the door behind her, she let out a long, shaky sigh of relief. Every inch of her felt exhausted. She would have slept where she fell if Bucky hadn't returned with a lantern in his hand. 

She was standing in the living room, there was a sofa, fireplace and two doors that went off to the kitchen and bedroom. It was simple but to Maggie it looked like the Hilton. 

‘There are more candles in the kitchen,’ Bucky said as he lit the fire. 

‘Should we really light the fire? Won’t it draw attention to us?’ Despite saying this, light and warmth washed over Maggie like a hot bath. 

‘Wouldn’t two holiday makers sitting in the dark also draw attention?’ Bucky said as he straightened up and turned to her. ‘The rain will have washed our tracks away, so they will think we stayed on the main road.’ 

‘Of course,’ Maggie replied rather weakly before grabbing the candles from the kitchen side and quickly returning to the warmth of the fire. 

She stood warming her hands when Bucky approached her side. Maggie felt his presence rather than hearing him, he stood for a while breathing steadily at her back before placing a warm hand on her shoulder and steering her away from the fire. His face was so open as she looked up at him, his wet hair was brushed back behind his ears and his lips were thin and pale with cold. 

She put her hand over his as she let him steer her into the bedroom.

It smelt fusty but the bed was large and looked comfy with its patchwork quilt and pillows piled high. She wanted nothing more than to sleep today away but Bucky took her into the joining bathroom and stood her by the sink. It was filled with water that smelled strongly of TCP. 

Without a word he held her chin, so gently it was as if he held a bird, and began washing the grime off her face with a wet towel. He took his time, working over the edges of her face, her collar bones, her throat. He stood so close Maggie could count his eyelashes. 

It was only when he gently turned her around and began cleaning the cut on her scalp that Maggie spoke. 

‘You do realise I am a trained doctor, you know?’ Her voice was hoarse and croaky. 

‘I know, but I wanted to,’ came the answer. 

Maggie turned round, her head tilted up to look at his face and his titled down to look into hers. His hair fell about them and in the close quarters of the bathroom they shared each other's breath. 

‘Bucky, back at the compound, I …’ Maggie tried to begin but in vain. All her words sounded feeble compared with what she wanted to say. 

Instead she refilled the sink as he had done, and she slowly, carefully washed away the evidence of the day. 

Her hands traced the arch of his brow, his collar bone was burned several times, his jaw was cut. She dabbed his lip with TCP but he did not hiss in pain as she had. In fact, as she worked on him, his eyes did not leave her face. 

As she finished, she found herself studying the cut on his lip and as she did so her hands fell to rest to his chest. The cut was not deep but it would be sore when he spoke. Maggie wondered which one had it been that hurt him. 

A heartbeat passed and then another as they stood holding each other. 

_ I wonder what he tastes like _ . The rogue thought flashed unbidden across Maggie’s mind. 

‘Your shirt is wet-’ She blurted out and snapped her back to reality; with him standing an inch from her, a deep emotion in his eyes that she could barely turn away from. Maggie took a step back ‘-you should shower and I’ll find us some-’ 

‘No.’ He shrugged and smiled. How could he smile like that? Big and bold and… happy. Bucky seemed genuinely happy.

‘No, what do you mean ‘no’? You’ll catch hyperthermia if you stay in those things.’ Maggie protested in her best doctor voice. 

‘You go first.’ Bucky grinned and quickly retreated behind the bathroom door. ‘Doctor's orders, Miss Isle.’ 

'That's not how 'doctor's orders' is supposed to work, you know!' She shouted after him and threw the wet towel on the floor. 

But Bucky had been right.She had needed a long hot shower to put some strength back into her bones. She found a clean towel and some shampoo in a cupboard and very carefully began washing the blood out of her hair. After that she stood in the spray slowly turning the heat up until it hurt her skin. Then and only then did she feel brave enough to leave the safety of the shower cubicle. 

A cloud of steam followed her as she popped her head out into the bedroom. There were piles of old clothes laid on the bed and what looked like an overnight bag. She opened the overnight bag and found a white cardigan and purple evening dress along with underwear and hair brushes and makeup. 

'Hey, Bucky?' Maggie called into the living room. He appeared in the doorway, wiping his hands on a towel. He was soaking wet again and was dripping on the wooden floor. 'Where did you get this?' 

'There is a cabin half a mile up the Lake. The people there had friends over, so I snatched the bag out of one of their cars. The stuff won't be missed for a few days-' he said this in a matter-of-fact way as if it was the most normal thing in the world. But kept his eyes very fixedly on the air around Maggie's ear, despite her too small towel that barely covered her assets. 

How could he be so calm and happy and cheery and so relaxed! They were going to be tortured and sold on the black Market and he was acting so frustratingly cool about the whole thing.

Her face must have betrayed her because Bucky suddenly looked wary. 

'Maggie,- ' at least he had the decency to sound a little sheepish. '- I didn't think.’

'After everything we went through today? You may be a super soldier but you're still mortal. You bleed like any other man. I would know, I've stitched up a few in my time!' She hissed these last words through clenched teeth and bunched her towel with her fist. ‘You could have let me know! What if you'd got caught, Bucky, or worse you could be dead in a ditch and I wouldn't know...What would I do if...' her anger died as quickly as it had flared. 

‘I'm not used to people worrying about me,' he spoke so quietly to her, Maggie barely heard him over howling wind outside. 

Maggie was so ashamed of herself. She was taking her panic out on him, she had too many emotions rushing around her body. She needed to get control of herself, she needed to control her emotions, she needed not to be afraid. 

Bucky went to pass her and go to the bathroom but Maggie grabbed his metal wrist and held it for half a second, letting him feel her. It was cold to the touch and sent a spark of electricity across her skin. 

'I’m sorry I shouted,' she murmured quietly. 

'I’m sorry I didn't think you would worry.' 

  
  
  


**

Maggie quickly dried herself and dressed in the stolen clothes. The purple dress was luxurious and beautiful but not something she would usually wear. Its owner obviously didn't have the curves that she had because it plunged wildly at the front. But luckily Maggie found a tweed scarf and a pair of woollen socks in the back of the wardrobe, which along with the cardigan made the outfit almost presentably. 

Maggie felt guilty about her outburst. She wasn't used to this kind of situation, that's why she chose to become a doctor not a marine in the first place! But that didn't mean she could take her stress out on Bucky. 

Closing the bedroom door behind her, she threw some more logs on the fire and stoked it till it was too hot to stand near. Then she arranged their wet clothes over the back of a chair to dry, Bucky had tossed his into the bedroom when he got in the shower. As much as she liked her stolen clothes, she would appreciate her own knickers in the morning. 

The fridge had been turned off for winter but judging from a bag dripping water on the counter top, Bucky had also swiped a bag of groceries on his excursion out...

'Bucky, you star,' she sighed appreciatively when she found a large bar of dark chocolate, a flask of whiskey, a half a carton of cream, and a loaf of bread. They could do worse than hot chocolates and dry toast. 

Bucky stepped out of the bedroom just as Maggie was pouring out the hot chocolate. There was only one mug in the cupboard so they would have to share. 

‘Hey, it was lucky that they fit you,’ Maggie said lightly, smiling a little. He was wearing a plaid shirt and jeans that he ‘borrowed’. 

‘They are a bit tight but I’ll survive,’ Bucky said mildly, shrugging. 

They hovered both uncomfortably for a moment, suddenly unsure. Her outburst weighed heavy on her shoulders. All the events of yesterday; the accident, the kidnapping, the cell, … the bathroom: they replayed in her mind like a bad movie. 

A sick thought crossed her mind, _ I’m too close to him. _

Maggie pressed the mug into his hands and retreated in front of the fire, sitting on the rug. A chill linered in her bones. She waited for Bucky to sit on the sofa opposite her and take a gulp of chocolate before she tried to speak. 

‘Those hot dogs seem a million years ago, don’t they?’ Bucky smiled at her over the rim of the mug.

How could he be so nice to her after what she did?!

She sat up on her knees to speak. ‘Look, Bucky, I’m so sorry about earlier. Letting my emotions…’ 

‘This is my world, Maggie. You’re not used to it, I am,’ Bucky voice was stern, his body grew agitated and tense. He leaned his elbows on his knees, rocking slightly. 

‘It doesn’t have to be, Bucky,’ Maggie breathed. 

‘Violence is the only thing I am any good at-’ he hesitated, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to say the words. ‘I’m sick, I’m sick in the head… You need to stay away from me.’ 

She touched him then, edging forwards on her knees to take his hands in hers. She was beginning to enjoy the little buzz of electricity that his metal one gave off. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’ 

‘I fought in the beginning. I fought every time I went under, again and again…’ he sucked in a steading breath, ‘but then I would be down for months, sometimes years, at a time, trapped in my own head.’ His eyes were suddenly on her and he pulled her hands closer to him, pressing them to his chest, as if afraid she would run away. ‘I grew to like it.’ Bucky’s lip trembled, wet tears spilling down his face. ‘And then I saw the look on your face after...right after you…’ 

_ Right after I killed that man.  _ It remained unspoken between them. 

‘You stared at me like I was one of them: so afraid. Yet, I enjoyed it. Maggie, how could I enjoy something like that?’ He asked her desperately, imploring her to have a simple answer. 

Maggie pulled herself onto the sofa and without a moment’s hesitation pulled Bucky into a tight hug. Her arms wrapped around his broad as she pressed his face into the crook of her neck. She soothed back his hair from his face, ignoring the fact that she was also crying. 

He didn’t resist. In fact, his grip on her was almost too tight but Maggie would have never said a word. 

‘They conditioned you, Bucky. The same way you would a dog. It was cruel of them. It was wrong. What was done to you was evil. They made you feel like this but it is not who you are.’

They held each other until the fire had died down. 

‘Can you teach me some self defence?’ Maggie asked quietly. 

Bucky sat up, his hair a taffled mess, and smiled at her with surprise. ‘Now?’ 

‘Why not?’ She replied quickly with a cheeky grin. 

He cocked his eyebrow and let the question hang.  _ Dammit, he knew her too well.  _

‘Bucky, I killed someone. Even if it was in self defence, it goes against everything I believe and-’ she hesitated as something pushed painfully in her throat. ‘I need a distraction.’ 

Bucky let a slow, understanding smile spread across his face. ‘I’ll teach you in the morning, Maggie.’ 

‘But…’ Maggie began to protest. 

‘You’re dead on your feet and you’re stalling. Even if you get a few minutes, trust me, it's better than nothing.’ Bucky ordered, pulled her to her feet, frog marching her to the bedroom. 

‘Hey! That means you have to sleep too,’ Maggie declared stubbornly, digging her heels in when she got to the threshold. 

‘I don’t need as much sleep as you do. So I shall stand guard,’ Bucky said matter of factly. 

‘If you're sure.’ Even as she said she knew she’d be able to sleep knowing he was there. 

Xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...I bet you thought they were going to get together, didn't you?   
> Sorry, no dice. 
> 
> Thank you for all those people who take the time to comment and send kudos, I do really appreciate hearing from you.


	11. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘These are modest middle class people-’, dropping his voice a touch as they approached the door. Inside they could hear two voices talking, a man and a woman, and music playing from a radio. ‘We don’t want to alarm them. We’re also married.’ Bucky said matter-of-factly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his side as he knocked on the wooden door. 
> 
> ‘What?! Hold on a -’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short fluffy chapter before a secret is revealed

February

The next morning: 

The sky had cleared and the air was crisp as they walked along the bank lake. They were both silent, enjoying the sound of the water and the birds in the overhanging elm trees. Without the sun it would have been a bitterly cold day. The torrential rain from the previous day left the air fresh and frosty. 

Maggie had wrapped her scarf around her shoulders in the hopes of keeping out some of the frigid air. She shivered and tried to walk faster. There was a tickle in the back of her throat which were the beginnings of a cold. 

Just as Bucky had said the other cabin was not fair away. It was much more well kept than theirs had been. It had a well planted garden and a kitsch white fence that surrounded it. 

‘So what’s the plan?’ Maggie asked, looking doubtfully at the house as they came around the bank of the lake, pausing at the tree line. 

‘We’re going to knock and say that our car crashed last night and if we can use their phone,’ Bucky replied quietly. His keen eyes narrowed as he studied the ground, looking for tracks in the mud. 

It was not the first time since in the last two days that Maggie thanked God for the day that Bucky came into her apartment. She had being trying to push the feelings deep within herself until she had time to examine them but Maggie knew that without Bucky, she would be dead or worse. 

Bucky began striding towards the front door. Maggie had a job to keep up. She was about to ask if they had a plan, 

‘These are modest middle class people-’, dropping his voice a touch as they approached the door. Inside they could hear two voices talking, a man and a womens, and music playing from a radio. ‘We don’t want to alarm them. We’re also married.’ Bucky said matter-of-factly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his side as he knocked on the wooden door. 

‘What?! Hold on a -’ 

‘Because it makes us look more trustworthy,’ Bucky replied frankly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

‘Says who?!’ Maggie hissed stubbornly. Logically, she knew he was right but with the haze of panic and fear still thick in her mind, Maggie was feeling stubborn. 

Steps approached the door. 

‘Steve.. Hello, I was wondering if you could help my wife and I…’ In those seconds Bucky showed himself to be the master spy that he was. He dropped a note from his voice that Maggie hadn’t noticed and he took on a Washington accent. His bearing, how he smiled and how he gestured were all marks of his trade. 

He spun the story of how our car had blown a tire on the road. It had landed on its roof in a gully, it was lucky we were lucky to get out as alive. Luckily, he’d only sprained his arm (Maggie had suggested wrapping his metal arm in bandages before leaving the cottage). Somehow they’d been able to get to the cabin, the weather being what it was and all. 

The man who had answered the door was in his mid sixties, he had curly grey hair and glass perched on the end of his nose. 

‘How awful! I am Terry Rogerson,’ Terry held his hand out to Maggie who shook it warmly. 

‘You can call me Maggie, and this is my husband James,’ Maggie smiled back. She was surprised by how easy it was. With James...Bucky’s arm around her and beaming with this facade of confidence she almost believed it herself. 

‘I’m very pleased to meet you, Maggie but look at me, leaving you two on the step. Please come in.’ At this Terry opened the door wide and ushered them in. 

The cabin was larger and warmer than theirs had been. It had pictures up on the walls, overstuffed armchairs and there was a lingering smell of fresh toast in the air. 

If anxiety wasn’t already squirming in Maggie’s belly, she would have been quite at home here. 

‘Judith!’ Terry called and disappeared into what Maggie thought was the bedroom. 

She just had time to shoot Bucky a slightly panicked look before a plump older woman entered the room. She was like a grey haired whirlwind, hugging and checking their cuts and scrapes in a motherly fashion. ‘My poor dears! I couldn’t believe what happened, I said to Terry- didn’t I dear, “I said Terry, what is this world coming to!” Your car on its roof, heaven preserve us! You must have been so scared..’ Judith grabbed Maggie and rubbed her arms so hard she heard the muscles pop. ‘And you! Only a slip of a thing with no coat, you’ll catch hyperthermia.’ 

Before ever of them really knew what was happening, they were sitting at the kitchen table with blankets draped over their shoulders and steaming cups of black coffee pushed in front of them. 

Maggie knew that they looked worse for wear. Despite Bucky’s escalated healing, he was sporting several bruises along his jaw and neck. His plaid shirt covered the worst of it. Maggie had caught a glimpse of his naked torso when he stepped out the shower this morning. She suspected that he’d had broken ribs that had somehow healed overnight but his skin was still mottled purple. 

Maggie was not so lucky. She had tentatively prodded her black eye in the bathroom mirror that morning but there was nothing she could do about the ugly mustard yellow, green and purple bruising welding her right eye almost shut. There was no permanent damage, but it fucking hurt. 

‘Can I get you anything else? A hot water bottle, or a hot toddy perhaps?’ Judith asked Bucky, while checking his temperature with the back of her hand. 

Secretly, Maggie thought Bucky was enjoying himself a bit too much. 

‘Actually, if we could use your phone to call our folks back home we would be really grateful,’ Maggie said earnestly as she warmed her hands on her mug. 

_They needed to get home. They needed to be safe. Maggie needed Bucky safe. She needed to run, hide, flee_ … She forced herself to take a breath and appear calm. 

‘Of course you can, Maggie. I should have suggested it earlier. It's in the study, dear,’ Terry said kindly and got up to show her where it was. But as Maggie was halfway across the living room a thought occurred to her. 

‘James, should I call Nicholas or your brother, Steve?’ Maggie posed the question innocently as Terry waited behind her, Judith prattled about finding them spare clothing. 

Bucky hesitated a moment and took a sip of his coffee. ‘I think Steve would be best, he’s got the wagon and I wouldn’t like my Dad to have to drive this far.’ 

‘Good point, James.’ Maggie replied lightly as she walked into the study with Terry. ‘My father-in-law is getting on in years, he rarely drives anywhere but the supermarket these days.’ 

‘Me and him both,’ Terry chuckled and showed her the phone. It was old fashioned, not unlike her emergency phone back in her apartment. She waited till he returned to the living room but he left the door open. 

Maggie waited until Terry was back in the kitchen, talking with Bucky. ‘So, James what line of work are you in?’ Then Maggie forcefully pressed the numbers to Friday’ direct line.

_PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP_

A voice answered after two rings. 

‘You are through to Friday-’

‘Friday, hi! How are you- yep, yep that's good to hear- so can you put me through to Steve it’s quite urgent’ Maggie said loudly, conscience that she could be overheard. She was holding the phone so tight her hand was sweating.

‘Transferring you right away, Dr.Isle.’ 

Maggie waited ten seconds before Steve’s worried voice called down the phone. 

‘Maggie, is that you?’ His voice was full of worry. 

‘Steve, thank you for getting to the phone so quickly!’ She replied in an overly cheery voice, her eyes darting from the doorway to the windows: watching for she didn’t know what. 

‘Is Bucky with you?! Are you both okay? Where are you?’ 

‘So it’s a funny story, Steve and I bet the family will laugh over Sunday lunch about it but our tire blew last night and the truck is on its head in a ditch. James and I were pretty banged up but luckily, we found some nice people who will let us use their phone.’ 

‘James….ok, do you know who took you guys?’ Steve’s voice sounded clipped. 

‘Oh, the make of the truck? I think it’s a Yamaguchi but I’d have to check with James.’ 

‘Yukusa? What the hell do they have to do with this?’ Steve asked in confusion. 

‘I forgot to say, Steve, while I’m going to be late could you cancel my session with Colonel Henry Metcalfe…. Friday will help you check my diary if you need.’ 

If something happened to them Steve needed to know. As much as it revolted her to even mention the man’s name, Maggie needed to let them know what was happening. After all, the only reason that Bucky had been tortured was because of Henry Metcalfe and herself.

‘I’ll get Natasha to look into it. But where the hell are you? We’ve got half of Washington out looking for you two-’ Maggie quickly covered the speaker as Terry came in and passed her a fresh cup of coffee. 

‘If it’s a help we were going to drive into Elkin to pick up some more fishing bait, if you kids would like a ride?’ Terry offered kindly, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

‘Terry, that would be so helpful, thank you!’ Maggie smiled and gave his hand a little shake. 

‘It’s no trouble at all, not after your husbands offered to fix the engine on my boat. He’ll have to be a real wizkid with machines to get that damn thing working again. Pardon my french.’ 

Once he was out of the room, Maggie turned back to the phone. 

‘Did you catch that?’ 

‘Elkin, West Virginia?’ Steve asked.

‘My American geography isn’t as good as it should be but we’re currently next to a lake called Lake Morrison.’ 

‘Ok, ok- we’ll scramble the choppers and we’ll extract you-’ 

‘No! We barely ...got out of the car crash alive. I think we should keep a low profile ...we don’t know how many Yamaguchi engines are out there and we've met some nice innocent people….’ Maggie struggled lamely, she wasn’t cut out for all this creepy around. ‘if you get me…’ 

‘I get you, Maggie. Just hold tight, we’ll have eyes on you as soon as you come into town.There is a diner called ‘Nana’s Coffee and Cakes’. Wait for us inside. We’ll be with you soon.’ 

‘I know, Steve.’ Putting down the phone was a wrench. Suddenly, she felt lost and anxious again all over again, as if she was still tied to the chair in that god forsaken cell. 

‘Are you okay, honey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?’ Judith asked with concern as Maggie came back through to the living room. 

‘I’m ..I’m fine,’ but even as she said the words hot tears started pouring from her eyes and she choked on her words. Without a noise Judith came and scooped her up into a big hug, wrapping her arms around her and stroking her hair as Maggie continued to sob into her shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry, it’s just…Where have Terry and James gone?’ Maggie tried to speak feebly. 

‘Terry has taken James to look over his silly boat but don’t you fret, It’s just the fright catching up with you, dear.’ She said gently, urging Maggie onto one of the sofas. She sat beside her, patting her hair and brushing away her tears. Maggie felt incredibly silly, but incredibly grateful to Judith. Her actions touched something deep down which she had longed for for many many years. ‘The car accident must have been awful to frighten you like this?’ 

Maggie took a shaky breath to compose herself. She thought back to the day before, now it all seemed very distant but everything replayed in front of her eyes. She knew she was in latent shock. She tried to push it down, to hide the worst of it from Bucky but in these quiet moments it seemed to seep out of her. She’d spent most of last night hugging a pillow to her chest doing breathing exercise. She needed to keep herself together just a little longer. 

‘It happened so quickly….’ Maggie’s voice was shaky as she tried to speak, all the while she images from the cell branded in her mind. ‘Everything turned upside down like that all of a sudden. At first I didn’t know how to react but then my only thought was...was that I needed to get Bu... James out alive… ‘ 

‘You must really love him if he was your first thought but I bet you were his as well.' Maggie was about to reply when Terry and Bucky burst in looking flushed but happy, laughing to themselves. 

‘Judith, can you believe the son of a gun has only gone and got it going! I didn’t take him long at all. I swear he must have magic hands,...or well, hand,’ Terry corrected, eyeing up Bucky’s babadae and chuckled, slapping Bucky on the shoulder.

‘Well, you can spend your days fishing now instead of getting under my feet,’ Judith replied. It hadn’t escaped Maggie’s notice that she had positioned herself in front of Maggie, blocking her from view. She quickly wiped her eyes and composed herself. 

But she could never really hide from those grey eyes. Even as she got up and walked to the kitchen to put their mugs in the sink. 

‘Everything okay?’ Bucky asked quietly, taking a dish cloth from the rack to dry the mugs. Maggie scrubbed at the cups, refusing to look up and meet his eyes. 

'Everything is fine-,’ Maggie replied stiffly. ‘Steve is coming to Elkin to pick us up but he'll be keeping a low profile. We’re to meet him...'

'That's not what I meant, Maggie,' Bucky replied dryly, gently tugging the mug out of her hands and nudging against her with his shoulder. 

' I know you didn't,’ Maggie sighed heavily and turned to him. Bucky’s eyes were full of gentle concern, his brows made a small crinkle on his forehead. ‘ I'm just a bit tired that's all and- ' Maggie hesitated, dropping her voice, she looked down at her hands. 'And I’m...I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.' 

Maggie scratched at the backs of her hands, an anxious tick she’s had since she was a child. She was mad at herself. It wasn’t her job to unload what she was feeling on Bucky. Bucky needed someone who wasn’t afraid, who would be his anchor…

After a moment’s indecision, Bucky reached out and took Maggie’s hands in his, pulling them around his waist, wrapping her up in a warm embrace. His metal hand that was bandaged rested against her lower back as he smoothed down her hair. 

Maggie stilled for a fraction of a second before she let out a long shuddering breath, realising that she felt properly warm for the first time since the Smithsonian. She breathed in... _Coffee, eucalyptus soap, fir trees, pine sap, motor oil..._

'I’ll get the us home safe,' Bucky murmured quietly, his breath tickling the top of her ear. 

‘I know,’ Maggie whispered into the fabric of Bucky’s shirt. He brushed her hair back behind her ear and kissed her forehead. His lips were soft.

 _Did he just?..._.

‘Are you kids ready to get a move on? It’s due to rain this afternoon and I’d like to get home before the road gets wet,’ Terry called from the doorway to the kitchen. 

Maggie pushed away from Bucky abruptly, ‘Yep, just give me…’ and began haphazardly drying her hand on a towel. ‘Already. We’re right behind you,’ Maggie smiled, ignoring the blush that had turned her face scarlet. 

**

The car ride had been uneventful. Judith and Terry sat in the front of the station wagon talking about mundane things like the amount of traffic nowadays, an actor who had just died, how it had been one of the grandchildren’s birthdays and they had visited the night before. 

Maggie turned away and looked out the window with no small sense of guilt. They’d left the clothes they’d borrowed folded in the cabin. Hopefully they would eventually be returned to their rightful owners. 

‘So how’d you two meet?’ Judith asked in a cheery voice, slingin her arm over her seat so she could look back at Maggie and Bucky. 

Maggie opened her mouth but Bucky was already there. 

‘Work. Maggie’s a doctor and I work in engineering.’ 

Yeah, maybe it was best to let the spy do the talking. Maggie could see him pepper the truth through all the lies he told. 

‘So you met in a hospital, how exciting!’ Judith smiled in excitement and tapped her husband on the shoulder as he drove. ‘Do you hear that Terry, it's just like a romance from ER.’ 

Terry snorted. ‘If you say so, love.’ 

As they arrived in town, the grey skies over Elkin decided to split with a boom of thunder, lashing rain began to wash over the road. 

As they said their goodbyes, Bucky shaking Terry’s hand and Maggie giving Judith a warm hug, anxiety returned full force to Maggie. They were out in the open, exposed again. 

They dodged out of the rain, running between store fronts, until they saw a neon sign for ‘Nana’s Coffee and Cake’ glowing at the end of the mainstreet. 

Bucky held the door open for her as they stepped inside. Maggie thought it looked exactly like the diner from Grease. Its retro interior was laid out with a row of booths next to the windows and a long counter on the opposite side. 

Without waiting to be seated, Bucky sat down at the booth furthest from the door with his back to the wall. Even though Maggie sat opposite, he kept a clear view of the door. 

A cheery waitress approached their table and asked. ‘Would you folks like to see a menu?’ 

Maggie hesitated. ‘I think we’ll both have water for now. Thank you.’ Hungry as she was, neither had any money on them. 

‘Steve would have probably covered it when he gets here, you know,’ Bucky said in a low voice, his eyes never leaving the door. 

‘Whenever that will be,’ Maggie responded dryly, with unseeing eyes she pretended to read the menu on the wall but really she was looking at the tv that had a CCTV feed of the street in front. 

In fact they didn’t have to wait long at all. 

The waitress returned with their drinks and placed a napkin pointedly down in front of Bucky, then spun on her heel and retreated behind the counter. 

‘It’s from Steve,’ Bucky stated, pushin the napkin across the table to her. 

Written in red pen in slanted capital letters the message read, ‘ _Meet me in the alley behind the diner. Punk_.’ 

Maggie couldn’t help but smile. 

**

The helicopter touched down on the tarmac and Maggie finally let out a long breath that she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. 

From the window of the helicopter she could see a small crowd of people waiting for them. Dr Maya stood with a gurney and a medical team, Sam and Clint were busy chatting up the nurses, Fury and Hill stood apart watching the plane. 

Steve helped Maggie jump down and Bucky threw his arm over her head as they ducked under the blades. But as soon as they were out of the whirlwind they were accosted at all sides by a crowd of jabbering voices. 

‘Dr Isle, Sergeant Barnes, you will both be required in a briefing as soon…’ Fury lengthened his strides to walk with them. Maggie and Bucky both seemed to be in the same mind: get through this circus as soon as possible. 

‘Not before they have been medically discharged!’ Dr Maya protested, her medical team trailed after her. She shoved a torch in Maggie's face checking her reflexes. ‘Have you been experiencing any…’ 

‘Christ, Maya, careful with that thing,’ Maggie rumbled but no one seemed to notice. 

‘You really had us scared, Doc, I mean, Jesus! Did you see what they did to Freder…’ 

‘Not the time, Clint!’ Steve growled in warning from behind them. 

‘I’m glad to see you in one piece, Maggie, some of us-’ Sam shot Clint a pointed look, ‘were more worried than others. Next time you should take a set of wings with you instead of the Tin Man,’ Sam smirked, looping his arm around her waist. Maggie was too tired to protest but she thought she saw Bucky’s lip curl slightly. 

They made it to the elevator at the edge of the helipad when the crowd swarmed and all tried to force themselves into the elevator with them. 

‘I need that security briefing-’ 

‘You’ll need a CAT scan, and MRI, we’ll take some bloods too-’ 

‘Those explosive rounds literally took his face off-’

‘Clint!’

‘Nurse Anderson, when do you get off? I’ll give you a hand if you like…’

‘ENOUGH!’ Maggie had finally lost her patience. She was home. She’d hoped for a few minutes of peace and quiet before the questions started, and she knew Bucky felt the same. Lucky, she had a lot of anger running around her system from the past days. 

She jabbed her finger in Fury’s face, his eye opened in alarm as Maggie’s nostrils flared, her teeth bared. ‘What we need right is half an hour to get our shit together.’ Bucky stood behind her with his arms across his chest, her silent back up.

‘Dr Maya, you are of course forgetting that I am an MD. I can assess if our injuries are life threatening-’ Maggie paused for affect and added drily, ‘They are not. What Sergeant Barnes and myself require now is a box of donuts, aspirin, alcohol and speaking for myself, I would like a pack of cigarettes.’ 

‘Everyone else, we shall see you in the briefing room in half an hour.’ Maggie declared and as if it were a prearranged signal, Bucky stabbed the elevator button, closing the door in their faces.


	12. The War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...This world is sick. There is a fever that is burning out of control and that fever is mankind. It's burning up all that is good. It will get you too, Maggie, but I’m going to stop it. Hydra will stop it. Hydra had the right idea in the very beginning. We need to tear it all down and we’ll finally build a new world together. I’ll burn it down in your name, Maggie, and then we can finally be together. My darling....”

‘We are also looking into where the information was leaked from. Only a handful of people knew you were planning on going to the Smithsonain. There is a level 5 security warning issued…’ 

Maggie was feeling more human. She’d changed into some comfy clothes and had plaited her hair out of her face. She was home, she was fed, she was warm and yet, she sat only half listening as the team spoke around her. She knew what was coming. 

‘The information was incomplete. Whoever passed along the intel thought Maggie would be alone with a small security team. I surprised them.’ Bucky was in his element. He stood next to Steve, his arms across his chest as he discussed their kidnap like it was a military exercise. 

‘You weren’t the primary target?’ Sam asked in surprise. 

Bucky opened his mouth to speak but hesitated, looking at Maggie, before she could respond, Fury stood up and braced his arms at the head of the table. 

‘They wanted information on Henry Metcalfe?’ Fury sighed in a voice that was heavy with resignation. He did not sound surprised. Of course, he wasn’t, Fury was the Information King. 

‘Whose Henry Metcalfe?’ Steve asked, looking between them. 

‘Metcalfe was one of my old patients.’ Maggie’s voice sounded thin in her ears.

‘Maggie,-’ Fury said her name quietly, surprisingly kindly, ‘they need to know. All of it.’ 

She knew it had been coming. It had weighed on her ever since she’d heard his name in that horrific cell. What she had kept locked up for years needed to be shown the light of day. 

Maggie couldn’t look Bucky in the eye as she spoke. Instead she chose a part of the wall to stare at. 

‘I was posted to  Camp Dwyer Marine Base in Afghanistan when Colonel Metcalfe was first referred to me. My initial assessment was that stress was causing his insomnia, fits of rage… His symptoms were escalating and I was told to fix it.’ Those last words were heavy with disdain. ‘ As part of his treatment I asked him to write himself letters. Letters are a method that psychiatrists use to get their patients to self-reflect on their actions.’ Maggie paused and took a gulp of tea, her hand was shaking.

‘Maggie, you don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to,’ Steve said kindly, offering her a small smile. 

‘Actually, she does.’ Fury said decidedly. ‘Please continue, Dr Isle.’ 

‘After a few months treating him, it occurred to me that I had made a mistake. Colonel Metcalfe was a lot cleverer than I had given him credit for. He had purposefully undermined my psychological examinations to make it appear like he was more stable than he was; he wanted to trick the army. I discovered, when it was already too late, that Metcalfe was possessive, self destructive, violent and deeply disturbed. I became a focus- a fixation of a life he had never been able to attain. When it became clear to me that there was no stopping him, heavens know I tried, I left the army and went back to England. Metcalfe was accused of war crimes, he went AWOL.’ Maggie took a shaky breath and continued. ‘The letters however continued. No matter where I was, who I stayed with- those damn letters...would always find me somehow. The letterbox, snuck into my handbag, laid on my pillow. I think he enjoyed the thrill of getting as close to me as he could.’ 

Maggie looked up suddenly and met Bucky’s eyes, he was coiled so tight he looked like he would shatter, his face was downturned as he watched her and his mouth was pulled into a bloodless line. 

‘I never encouraged anything other than a professional relationship with him…’ she forced herself to look away from Bucky. ‘But I haven't heard from him in years!’ 

‘Not since we recruited you-’ Fury stood up from the table with a sigh. ‘We suspected he had an interest in Hydra technology…’

‘You were going to use his obsession with me to catch him…’ Maggie blurted out.

‘Initially, yes, but in discovering his history I became interested in your skills. I hired you for you, Maggie.’ Fury did not look away or blink. He punctuated every word with meaning, he meant every word.. 

Maggie allowed herself a smile before she looked back down at her mug of tea. ‘I can’t be angry anyway, I was using SHIELD to hide from him. It would be hypocritical of me to be angry.’ 

Fury pulled himself to his full height. ‘Friday, please send in the boxes.’ 

Four SHIELD agents carrying two each brought in the boxes and placed them in the middle of the conference table. 

Maggie’s stomach turned to lead. She didn't want to look but neither could she look away. 

The boxes were filled to the brim with letters. They had all been opened, presumably by a SHIELD operative. 

‘How many are there?’ Clint asked, plucking one from the top of a box. 

‘1825 at the last count. All sent to Maggie’s last known address in England.’ Fury stated tightly.

‘That's one letter everyday for five years.’ Steve murmured in barely hidden disgust. 

‘I didn’t know it was still going on,’ Maggie’s voice sounded hollow. She let the voices drift around her, not really hearing them but only dimly aware that they were still speaking. Until she heard…

‘He must really love you.’

Something snapped in Maggie, a tension that had been slowly building since she stepped foot in the conference room lashed out. ‘No, there is no love in this!’ She gestured wildly to the mass of letters. ‘These are about possession- ownership. This is about compulsion, not affection.’ 

‘You need to see this-’ with a flick of his wrist, Fury had thrown a digitally scanned letter into the air. It hovered in front of them mockingly.

“. _..This world is sick. There is a fever that is burning out of control and that fever is mankind. It's burning up all that is good. It will get you too, Maggie, but I’m going to stop it. Hydra will stop it. Hydra had the right idea in the very beginning. We need to tear it all down and we’ll finally build a new world together. I’ll burn it down in your name, Maggie, and then we can finally be together. My darling.. _ ..”

The letter continued but Maggie couldn’t read anymore. She fought not to be sick. 

‘When was this sent?’ Steve asked, his arms were crossed over his broad chest, his forehead furrowed. 

‘6 months ago.’ 

Steve’s frown deepened. ‘But you said that this guy was smart. He evaded the authorities for 5 years. Why make such a bold claim in something that he knew was bound to be read?’ 

Fury pulled himself to his full height. ‘What do you suspect Captain?’ 

Something suddenly slid into place for Maggie. It was like a light had flickered on in her head and she couldn’t turn it off. The wiring and the bulb were all in place but she needed to flick the switch. 

‘No, it's not what Steve suspects…’ her voice was hesitant at first but was growing stronger. ‘It's what you suspect, Fury. You asked me months ago if I was in contact with any of my former patients right after if you asked me if Bucky had mentioned any weapons silos.’ 

Fury returned her stare, definitely at first but as all eyes in the room turned to him, Fury’s defiance evaporated. He smiled slyly as if approving of Maggie. ‘The Yakusa actually did us a favour.’ 

‘Doesn’t feel very much like a favour.’ Natasha snorted derisively. 

‘We heard a rumour a year ago that Metcalfe had found and hit a hidden Hydra weapons silo. Thanks to the Yakuza we now have confirmation that it's true.’ 

‘That's good news, I guess.’ Sam nodded

‘That Mr Wilson, is where the good news ends.’ Fury pulled up a personnel file on the datapad, a name’s face hovered in mid air. ‘2 weeks ago, shortly after Metcalfe reneged on his deal, an informant came to us with information about what was in the weapons silo. Metcalfe was selling a stockpile of the serum that was used on Sergeant Barnes to the Yukuza before he went underground taking their money with him.’ 

‘Fuck.’ Clint whispered not so quietly under his breath. 

Bucky w iped his forehead with the back of his hand and sighed, retreating into himself, his eyes downturned and hidden. Maggie needed to reach out and sooth him, she pressed the dog tag on her wrist and slowly he responded in kind. At Least he knew she was there.

Maggie sat forward in her seat. ‘But that doesn’t make any sense, why plant the bread crumb about Hydra when he already had the formula? Why make the deal with the Yakuza if he was only planning on stealing their money?’ She plucked a letter from the top of the pile and flipped it in her hands. ‘His letters have imagery of the apocalypse and cataclysmic events. Yet this doesn’t fit with his psychological profile. He’s a narcissist, he has delusions of grandeur but he is cunning, he’s a planner...Knowing what I know now, there is not a step Metcalfe takes without planning it months in advance.’

Fury cocked his eyebrow, ‘Dr Isle?’ 

Something was just out of reach. There was an answer that Maggie couldn’t yet see, it was maddening. ‘To me it begs the question, why has he waited so long to act?’ 

‘Well, we can’t wait around to find out. I’ll take a team and start making investigations into Metcalfe, Natasha can you handle the Yakuza. I don’t want them getting in the way any further. I have a feeling that they are not going to do us any favours.’ Steve directed with authority.

Natasha nodded. ‘You got it, Cap,’ 

‘Maggie will need to stay low for the next few days while we for the next few days while we investigate…’ Steve was talking about Maggie as if she wasn’t in the room. He was too busy with his Captain America hat on to realize her mouth was now drawn into a thin bloodless line. 

‘Maggie can speak for herself.’ Maggie snapped, flicking her plait over her shoulder and leaning forward on the table, her hands gesticulating. ‘And as far as I see it, my association to Metcalfe is nothing more than coincidence at this point. The Yakuza used old information and thought that I’d know where he was. It was a shot in the dark. I’m not going to hide anymore than I need to.’ 

Sam coaxed ‘Maggie..’ 

‘Don’t try to sweet talk me, Wilson. I may not be a combatant but not 24 hours ago I did plunge a scalpel into a guy’s kidney, so I don’t treat me like my civilian’s opinion is no longer worth anything.’

‘You should go to your brother’s.’ Bucky said suddenly. 

‘ You heard that?’ Maggie shook her head, that wasn’t important now. ‘I’m not hiding, Metcalfe-’ 

‘I agree, you’re not going to hide anymore.’ Bucky declared, sitting up in his chair and clasping his hands together on the table. He didn’t take his eyes off Maggie’s face. It was as if the whole room fell away and it was just them. ‘ You’re done hiding, going to your brother’s house is a tactical retreat while we find out what he really wants, as per your recommendation. And Utah is far enough away that no one would think to look there.’

Maggie’s mouth opened and then closed. Of course he knew what she was feeling. Being trapped by something unseen. Feeling icy claws snatching at your neck. Maggie was done running, she’d been running for the past 5 years and all it had cost her was Bucky being tortured because she’d been too afraid to face her demons. Of all people, Bucky would understand what that felt like. 

‘ Yeah, cause it's the arse end of the world.’ Clint muttered. 

‘Would Metcalfe know about your brother?’ Fury inquired. 

Maggie hesitated, biting the inside of her mouth. ‘I don’t know, he may do if he had access to the right records but when I treated him I still had my ex-husbands name and my brother took his wife's name because of her family business.’ 

‘That could be something. We’ll send a security team with you.’ 

Three voices all shouted out at once. 

‘ Definitely not!’

‘Thats a bad idea.’

‘No.’

‘I don’t want to scare the kids.’ 

‘Security will draw too much attention.’ 

‘We need all eyes on this here.’ 

‘You should at least take Natasha with you.’ Fury jerked his head toward Natasha before Maggie could respond. ‘Romanov…’ 

‘I’ll go .’ Bucky interrupted, Maggie obviously looked astounded because Bucky shrugged. ‘Your brother already thinks we’re dating. It will be more believable if you turn up with me more than Natasha.’ 

Clint’s eyes looked like they would pop out of his head if he wasn’t allowed to laugh.Maggie shot him a ‘don’t you dare’ kind of look. 

Maggie snapped. ‘Absolutely not!’

‘Why?’ Bucky asked in a low voice as if it was just for her and shifted in his seat. 

Maggie snorted derisively. ‘You’ve already been tortured once because of me!’ Maggie implored, thumping her hand down on the table. ‘If there is even the remotest possibility that Metcalfe comes after me, which he won’t he knows I’ll bring nothing to his end game, then why would I put you in harm's way again.’ Maggie paused taking in a steadying breath. ‘If I must I’ll take..’ 

‘No, it actually works out really well.’ Steve interjected suddenly. ‘It’ll give us a few days to find out what Metcalfe is doing without having Bucky in the firing line. With your connection to the serum, Buck, I don’t think it's much of a leap to assume you're somehow involved as well.’ 

Maggie couldn’t believe her ears. 

‘Fury-’ Maggie suddenly realised she was pleading. ‘You can’t seriously be okay with this. What are you doing?’ 

‘I was under the impression that I was doing my job.’ Fury replied sarcastically, shoving his hands into his coat in a defiant manner. 

She needed him to see reason so she tried to appeal to his logic. ‘You are basing this decision purely on conjecture. The only direct connection between myself and Metcalfe is 6 months old, yet how can you gamble your best man…’ 

‘If you can show me a better way of keeping Bucky and you out of harm's way while also keeping a low profile, then I’ll show you the door to it’s sound stage.’ 

This was the last of Fury’s patience and Maggie knew it. Discretion was often the better part of valour. 

‘Fine! But I can't be more than a week. I can’t leave my patients unattended for that long.’ 

xx

Snow was falling heavily and wind buffeted the plane. Bucky minutely adjusted one the levers on the roof of the cockpit and checked their course on his read out. 

When they had first got in the air, Bucky joked over his headset with Steve as they pulled away, they both waved out the window of the jet which Fury had kindly lent them. Maggie flipped the bird at Clint while Sam blew her exaggerated kisses. 

At some point in the briefing something had lifted from Maggie’s shoulders. Of course she knew the line- ‘if you speak about your fears, you lessen them,’ but it hadn’t been that. It had been the fact that her friends hadn’t looked at her as being weaker for it. They didn’t have sympathy in their eyes, she wasn’t a victim, she was just Maggie to them. 

Now in the air, miles above the earth, Maggie felt like herself for the first time in days. She was leaving her fear behind and going home with Bucky. 

‘Are you nervous?’ Maggie asked lightly, pulling her feet into her seat. The jet was small with one two seats in the cockpit and a larger hangar bay behind. It was also bitterly cold, Maggie had a blanket tucked around her knees, she’d forgotten how cold the north could be. 

Bucky pulled his headset down onto his shoulders. ‘About Metcalfe? Steve and -’ 

‘No, not about Metcalfe-’ Maggie wouldn’t think about him, he’d taken up too much space in her mind already. ‘Nervous about meeting my family?’ 

Maggie saw a muscle jump in his jaw briefly and pressed his lips tightly to before he spoke as if it was difficult. ‘I am ..a little nervous.’ 

He was gripping the steering column very tightly. 

Maggie was glad they had this opportunity to talk. Although they had spent the last three days in each other's company, they rarely had a chance to speak openly. The rumour mill had spread out their little mishap with the Yakuza and just as Maggie got back to her apartment she was accosted by Hayley, Wanda, Vision and Pepper. Bucky took one look at the hysterical group and retreated into his bedroom to pack. 

‘Why are you nervous Bucky?’ Maggie smiled, rubbing her hands together, trying to get the blood flowing. 

Bucky sighed unhappily, rubbing the back of his neck with his flesh hand, then twisted in his seat to face her. ‘What if I hurt them? I haven’t been around kids in so long. Maybe I should just stay on the jet … and what the hell do I do with this thing?’ He grimaced, shaking his metal hand. 

‘Firstly, Matt is 5 next month and Hannah is 8 going on 45. They won’t shatter. And as for this-’ Maggie reached over and held his metal hand,bracing her fingers against his. It was surprisingly warm to the touch and so large it could wrap around Magg’s entire fist. ‘They will barely bat an eyelid. We live in a world of superheroes and the internet, nothing phases them anymore.’ Gently, she let go of his hand, smiling as she did so. The clouds reflected beautifully off his blue eyes, like ocean waves...

Maggie jolted in her seat as Bucky repeated-‘Do you feel nervous?’- thinking she hadn’t heard him. 

She hesitated before replying. Bucky knew her a lot better than she gave him credit for. He was slowly becoming an extension of herself. 

‘I was nervous about it all, really. I am used to being in control: in control of my emotions, my environment... I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t out of my depth. I realise I'm not the easiest person to try and take care of-’ Maggie smiled and gave him an apologetic look. ‘But I am now viewing this as an opportunity to relax. That means the both of us, Bucky!’ Maggie laughed as Bucky smirked sarcastically. 

‘It will be great, I’ll show you my favourite hikes and we’ll finally be able to start our movie list and you can teach me-’ 

‘Buckle up, Maggie, we’re starting our landing approach.’ 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens...
> 
> I would hear you thoughts xx
> 
> Due to the RW I won't be able to post another chapter until next weekend at the earliest.


	13. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an extra long collection of drabbles set while Maggie and Bucky spend time hiding out at her families home. 
> 
> Because the chapter it so long I have included subheadings of the drabbles:   
> \- Meet the family   
> \- Knight in shining armour  
> \- Bed bugs  
> \- Sugar...  
> \- Fear of God  
> \- Raindrops on roses   
> \- Stand By Me- Ben E. King  
> \- 10 more minutes  
> \- Drums of war  
> \- Birthday mess  
> \- Falling out

  * **Drabble 1- Meet the family**



The ranch gradually got bigger as the plane descended. Magie gripped her seat involuntarily as the snow covered ground approached them. Not for the first time that day Maggie had to stop herself asking Bucky about his pilot’s qualification. If it was alright for Fury then it should be alright for her...shouldn’t it? 

She let out a long breath when the jet finally came to a stop. 

From their vantage from the high cockpit, Maggie could already see two tiny figures darting out the Big House and sprinting across the snow to meet them. The Big House was surrounded by a wide yard, with stable, the garage and hayloft set to one side. Maggie knew the winter cattle shed was deeper into the fields. Opening the door to the lambing shed, Bucky managed to back the jet in. 

Happy screams reached Maggie’s ear as Bucky helped her push the shed doors closed. His jaw locked, turning away from the approaching voices, dragging his hand through his hair.He let out a long shaky breath which rose like a fog and then blew away on the icy wind. 

Even though Maggie could not see his face, she knew that it was contorted into a troubled frown. She reached out and touched his elbow. She could feel his warmth even through the sheepskin coat Steve had lent him. 

‘You don’t need to do this, Bucky, if you don’t want to. You’ve got nothing to prove to me.’ Maggie said in a low, reassuring voice. He needed to know that he had choices. 

He turned toward her then and placed his hand over hers. His shiny blues were wide and troubled, it made him look so much younger. ‘I think I need to be here, Maggie,-' Bucky hesitated, stammering slightly. ' After everything that happened in Virginia, I need you to be okay.’ 

Something flip flopped in her belly. She was his anchor and as much as he was hers. 

Maggie murmured so that only Bucky would hear, ‘I’m always okay when I’m with you.’ 

Two small blurs barrelled into her and would have sent her flying if Bucky hadn’t braced her with a supportive hand. 

‘Aunt Maggie! Did you bring us presents? Can we play in the jet? Did you fly that yourself? How’s Thor? He’s my favourite, I saw pictures of him in London. Is that where he lives now? Also I’m reading Hilary Clinton’s autobiography and I have some questions about Washington….’ Hannah reeled off in quick succession, barely gasping for breath. She jumped up and down, her dark curly hair bouncing as she spoke. 

Matt stood a few paces behind her, his green eyes shied away from Bucky and he skirted round to Maggie’s side to hold her leg. His comfort blanket rested against his face as Maggie scooped him up into her arms. She kissed his cheek and brushed a few flakes of snow from his dark, curly hair. 

Maggie knew she shouldn’t have favourites but….

‘Who are you?’ Hannah asked abruptly, catching sight of Bucky who was hovering a little awkwardly with their bags. 

Maggie cleared her throat. ‘This is Bucky, he’ll be staying...’

‘Are you Maggie’s boyfriend?’ 

‘I am Maggie’s boyfriend.’ ‘Yep, he is indeed,’ they both said at the same time. Maggie cringed inwardly at how lame she sounded. 

Hannah gave Bucky an appraisingly once over, from his boots to his messy hair before turning to Maggie. ‘I’m just glad you’ve finally got one. Me and Dad were starting to worry you were becoming a nun.’ 

‘Right!’ Maggie declared rather louder that she needed to. ‘Shall we go up to the house?’ Taking the back of Hannah’s collar in her spare hand, Maggie frog marched her niece up to the house. Not before she caught an amused smirk curling the corners of Bucky’s lips. 

**

**Drabble 2- Knight in shining armour**

‘So Bucky, you’re dating my little sister.’ Dan asked wryly as he helped Hannah spoon spaghetti on her fork. 

They were all sitting around the kitchen table. Dan had his leg extended out on his wheelchair at the head of the table, it was wrapped in a metal cage with pins running through his shin. A compound fracture to the tibia was nothing to sniff at. He’ll think twice about driving his quad bike too fast in icy conditions, Maggie thought dryly. Bucky and Maggie sat opposite, with Matt sat on her knee. Hannah had her head in a book. 

Darkness had fallen shortly after they had arrived. The mountains surrounding the valley that the farm sat in cast long shadows and threw the house into pitch blackness. Snow flicked at the dark windows and the wind howled down the chimney in the living room. Maggie was glad she’s requisitioned a few sets of thermals from stores before that had left, Washington certainly never got this cold. 

‘It would appear so,’ Bucky replied drily, the corners of his mouth hitched slightly as he slowly took a sip of beer, not looking away from Dan’s eyes; as if to say “ _ and, what of it _ ?” 

Maggie knew Bucky already had the measure of him. Dan was a… Dan was a thick skulled, neanderthal, with more bravery than wit. Growing up, Dan’s favourite game had been to rile up the biggest guys in school just to get a rise out of them. Maggie was sure this behaviour stemmed from some deep sense of inadequacy that stemmed from the rift between Dan had with their grandfather. Although Maggie had spent the vast majority of her early adult life getting Dan out of scraps, he had a good heart. Maggie had hoped that when he had finally settled down with Lauren Mendez, veterinarian and ranch owner, that Dan had begun to grow up. 

Or so she had thought, apparently he was not above teasing her new ‘boyfriend’. With the amount of painkillers that Maggie had given him shortly after arriving, she had hoped that he would be too drowsy to be so childish. 

Mischief sparked in Dan’s eyes and he shot Maggie a cheeky grin. ‘Has Maggie ever told you about the time she was caught  _ in flagrante  _ with Jake Peters…’ 

Maggie slapped her hand down on the metal cage surrounding Dan’s leg a little harder than she had intended. ‘Might I remind you Daniel-’ her tone had a slightly dangerous edge to it, ‘- that as the resident doctor in the house, I will be in control of your medication and with very little effort I could let you live out the remainder of your 10 weeks recovery as a human vegetable. It’s your choice.’ 

‘Yikes!’ Dan held his hands up in mock surrender and nudged Bucky with his elbow. ‘Best not mess with Hannibal Lector, am I right Bucky?’ 

Maggie knew that Bucky had no idea who Hannibal Lector was but before she could step in, Bucky shrugged easily. ‘I know better than to mess with the Dr Isle. I would be shooting myself in the foot if I did.’ He shot her a quick smile across the table.

That was when Matt suddenly reached over and tugged at the collar of Maggie’s shirt. This was his signal that he wanted to speak to her. Matt was a deely shy and private little boy. He would often hide behind his parent’s legs whenever they were in public or hide behind his comfort blanket that he took everywhere with him. He was due to start school next year, Maggie hoped beyond hope that he would adapt quickly. 

Maggie bent her head so that Matt could whisper in her ear. Her eyes went wide and she beamed toothily across the table at Bucky. Suddenly her heart felt like it was going to burst. 

‘You’ll have to ask him yourself,’ Maggie replied to Matt, smiling at him adoringly.

Matt bit his lip nervously and pulled his comfort blanket over his mouth. ‘Are you a knight?’ His timid voice was barely audible but Maggie knew that Bucky would hear. Matt’s eyes never left Bucky’s silver arm. 

A slow, shy smile pulled across Bucky’s face until his eyes crinkled. It was genuine and kind, all things that Bucky was. ‘Yeah, something like that.’ Bucky replied kindly, lifting his metal hand and flexing his fingers in the light. 

Hannah was too busy with her book to notice and Dan was tucking into spaghetti but Matt was mesmerised and for a few seconds the world seemed to revolve around the three of them; Bucky’s smiling face and Maggie holding Matt in her arms as the little boy gasped in delight. 

  
  


***

**Drabble 3- Bed bugs**

Maggie had delayed long enough.

She needed to stop being a coward and go out there and…

Maggie decided to brush her teeth again. You can never be too careful. She was over thirty now, if she didn’t look after her teeth she was at a higher risk of gum disease. And no, she was not reading that off the toothpaste packet because she was stalling. 

Alright, she was stalling. 

She’d brushed her teeth twice, extra thoroughly and had already redone her plait. It  **had** been slightly of centre the first time round, Maggie said to herself but even she wasn’t completely convinced. Maggie shot herself a withering look in the mirror as she spat her toothpaste in the sink. 

This was nothing. She had a medical doctorate for Christ sake! She’d survived being stationed in Afghanistan. She was the Head of Psychiatric Medicine at SHIELD, Maggie could do this… 

Her hand hesitated as she reached for the door knob, she sighed once, breathing through her nose and then stepped into the bedroom. Although she did smooth down her plaid pajamas one last time for good measure. 

‘Hi…?’ Maggie stopped short.

Bucky was crouched by the side of the bed, closest to the door, with a gun in one hand and holding the end of a roll of duct tape between his teeth and his left hand. 

Maggie hesitated. ‘Arts and crafts?’ She asked, faking a smile. 

‘Tactical hidden weapons in case of enemy strike,’ Bucky replied matter of factly, ripping off a strip of tape with his teeth and sticking the gun to the bottom of the bed frame. Broad pectorals strained against his short sleeved white t-shirt and a pair of dark boxer shorts gave Maggie a tantalising glimpse of corded thigh muscles and...

A shiver ran through Maggie that had nothing to do with the blizzard outside. 

It was easy to forget why they were really here. As much as she pretended that this was a holiday for the both of them, they could not keep the stark reality of their situation at bay forever. 

Maggie turned away from him and set her damp towel against the drying rack in front of the fire. 

There was only one guest bedroom in the house. Maggie would have very happily slept on the pull out sofa in the study but Dan needed to be able to get to the downstairs bathroom. The guest room was large and very cozy. Lauren rented this room out to holiday makers in the summer months, so it was fitted out with quaint wooden beams, wood burning stove and an extra large king size bed. 

Maggie suddenly realised that Bucky was speaking and pulled herself out of her thoughts. 

‘This is a Glock 19 handgun, with a finger tip censored trigger. Only I can fire it…’ Bucky hesitated, concern written blatantly on his face. ‘If that's what you’re worried about.’ 

She studied him for the first time since they had come to bed. In a profession where she had to keep a poked face whenever she was around her patients, for someone to be able to see through her veneer, it should have been disconcerting. She had become so easy for him to read. 

Maggie tried to force the tension from her shoulders and put an easiness in her voice. 

‘With all the wolves in the area, Dan has to have guns around the house sometimes. The kids know never to touch or play with them…’ She ran out of words to say and her mouth hung open slightly as she struggled. Bucky was watching her face so calmly, a concerned frown wrinkling his brow.

It was then that Maggie noticed the bed. It was perfect, the duvets, pillows and blankets hadn’t been touched or moved in anyway. Even though Maggie had spent 15 minutes in the bathroom with Bucky outside, he hadn’t approached the bed.

Of course, the bed was their No Man’s Land. The elephant in the room. It wasn’t only Maggie who was feeling awkward about this situation. 

Maggie plonked herself at the end of the bed and pulled her legs into her lap. It was a passive gesture, meant to reassure Bucky that this was a safe space. Placing her hands in her lap, Maggie smiled kindly at Bucky. ‘ I appreciate that you’ve kinda been forced into this situation. It must be really overwhelming for you to be in this environment again…’ Maggie hesitated trying to find the right words. She looked down at her hands. ‘I am more grateful than I can say but... I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.’

Bucky tentatively sat on the edge of the bed and appeared to be looking everywhere but at Maggie, he suddenly seemed very shy. Maggie continued, leaning forward slightly so she could catch his eye.

‘So if you don’t want me sharing a bed with you, I will just get in with one of the kids or…’

‘It’s fine, Maggie. A jobs a job,’ Bucky replied suddenly, still not looking in her direction. 

_ It wasn’t fine, none of this was fine. _

Maggie stretched out her hand and gently placed her fingertips on Bucky’s knee, a reassuring gesture to draw him out and steady him. ‘I meant what I said Bucky, you don’t need to prove anything to me,’ Maggie assured him earnestly. 

Bucky’s eyes were wide but his face was open and as he listened to her words, he swallowed and shook his head as if making up his mind. He pulled back the corner of the duvet rather forcefully and slid into bed, pulling a datapad from the bedside table. 

Maggie’s smirk despite herself as she began to pull on her bed socks. ‘I should probably warn you now, I snore like a damn walrus, and-’ Maggie paused for dramatic effect, she slid under the covers as she bit back a giggle. ‘My morning breath can wilt plants so if you’re someone who likes to spoon, I suggest you stay at your side of the bed.’ 

‘You’re right-’ Bucky sighed tiredly, placing his datapad down and turning off the light. ‘You do snore like a walrus…’ Maggie gawked at him in a undignified manner, even in the darkness, she could tell he was trying not to laugh. ‘Don’t forget we do share a wall back in Washington.’ 

Pretending to grumble, Maggie punched her pillows into place and pulled the duvet high under her chin. The sheets were cold and the howling wind drove snow into the window pane, soon Maggie was pleasantly cozy. Heat rose from Bucky’s side of the bed, Maggie felt him shift on his side to face her. The moon cast meager shadows through the curtains so he could study the outline of her face. 

'By the way, who is Hannibal Lecter?' Bucky hummed quietly in the darkness. She could almost hear the smile playing on his lips. 

Maggie grinned playfully, ‘Good night, Mr Barnes.’ Pulling the blankets over her head. 

****

**Drabble 4- Sugar…**

Bucky might be able to hit a target from a kilometer away in poor visibility whilst taking enemy fire but he’d never be able to do what Maggie called the ‘Morning Chaos.’ 

The kitchen was filled with a circus of noise. Two sheepdogs, Gibson and Roosevelt, jumped up and barked as the kids fed them from the table. Dan was wheeling around the kitchen followed by three farm hands as he tried to give them orders for the day. Hannah clammered for Maggie’s attention, asking her to check her homework that she was supposed to have finished two days ago while Matt kept trying to launch himself out of his highchair. All the while Maggie danced around them, serenely oblivious to the chaos, a jug orange juice in one hand and a pot of coffee in the other. 

Four months ago this would have been overwhelming for Bucky. It was noisy, jarring, too hot, too many people… But as he stood apart, leaning against the living room door with his arms crossed over his chest, Bucky felt suddenly pleasantly warm. 

A summer’s day flashed in front of his eyes, a big band orchestra crackled through a wireless radio and a car horn blared through an open window. 

He was sitting under a table with his sister. The tablecloth cast a sepia light across their young faces, no more than 7 years old. Cramming their hands into their mouths, trying to contain their giggles, when his mother passed beside them calling their names. An empty bowl of cake mix was sat in his lap and with greedy hands Becky scooped out a spoonful…

‘Care for a top up?’ 

Bucky blinked at Maggie in surprise. She was smiling at him, holding up a pot of fresh coffee. 

Bucky shook himself a little, he replied automatically. ‘Thanks, Sugar.’ Reaching out, he steadied the pot as Maggie poured it. 

When he looked up she was smiling again. Not one of Maggie’s doctor smiles, indulgent, calming smiles she used for work but one of her rare toothy grins that made her ears go red. 

‘Is what you called your best girls back in Brooklyn?’ Maggie teased. 

Come to think of it, he’d never called anyone Sugar before, Bucky thought in surprise. Or at least he didn’t think he had.

He tried to shrug casually and ran his hand through his hair. ‘It would be either Sugar or Dollface, and you don’t strike me as the Dollface type of gal.’

***

**-Drabble 5 - Fear of God**

Maggie had somehow managed to snag five minutes alone. The kids were upstairs, hopefully working on the homework that they had neglected to do over the Christmas period. She had just returned from checking the water butts and the mailbox at the edge of the ranch. This was not a short walk, cold had settled in her bones by the time she had got home and all Maggie was looking forward to was sitting in front of the fire with a good book. 

Before she knew it, the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed on the hour. Maggie woke with a start and tried to sit up. She realised that what was keeping her pleasantly warm was Matt curled into her side and a heavy blanket draped over her. She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep but as voices rose from the kitchen she realised it must be closed to tea time. 

‘So, you and my sister, huh?’ Dan’s voice drifted down the hallway. Maggie instantly froze. She had been trying to shift Matt without waking him but a sudden, mortifying horror stilled her movements. 

_ Was he really doing what she thought he was doing?! _

Apparently Bucky didn’t reply because Dan forged onwards. 

‘I know you don’t know me from Adam, Bucky and ...I’m not a fancy superhero with a shield and a cape and all-’ Maggie could hear the mirth in her brother’s voice but she knew him too well to think he was being light hearted. 

_ Holy shit! He’s really going to give Bucky the ‘Big Brother’ talk…God, just shoot me.  _

Inside the kitchen Dan sighed heavily, his wheelchair squeaked a little as he moved around the kitchen. They were peeling potatoes for dinner, Bucky had proven to be a deft hand with a knife while Dan rather pathetically got out the cutlery and plates. As Dan turned awkwardly back to the table, manoeuvring his chair, Bucky was still studiously concentrating on the task at hand. 

‘Have you got a sister Bucky?’ Dan asked suddenly, surprising himself. 

Bucky appeared to be having trouble swallowing. ‘Yeah,’ he replied hesitantly. 

Dan let a slow smile pull across his face, it had an unfriendly edge to it. ‘Then I guess I don’t need to tell you what I’d do if anyone ever hurt her?’ 

Bucky looked up and gave him an easy lop-sided grin. ‘You’d beat the mook up and leave him at the side of the road?’ 

‘It would be a good place to start,’ Dan said lightly, picking up a potato peeler and brandishing it with a bit more flourish than was necessary. ‘Bucky, you’re not a country boy, are you? I can tell by your accent. Have you ever seen a bull castrated?’

Maggie was about to throw herself over the back of the sofa in an attempt to stop Dan saying something even more stupid and ridiculous when Bucky’s voice drifted into the living room. 

‘I’m not going to hurt Maggie, not intentionally anyway-’ Bucky seemed to hesitate, ‘she’s one of the best things that have ever happened to me.’ 

Maggie gripped the blanket painfully tight. What she wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall!

‘Don’t get me wrong, Maggie’s balls will put most guys to shame, but that doesn’t mean she should have to play the tough cookie,-’ Dan’s tone darkened, his voice suddenly heavy with warning. ‘Don’t make her regret falling in love with you.’

‘She doesn't love me...I mean, she hasn..we haven’t said that yet.’ Bucky’s stammer was barely audible. Maggie had to strain her ears to hear him. 

'Hmmm,’ Dan hummed, suddenly thoughtful. ‘How long have you two been seeing each other?’ 

‘7 months.’ 

This was technically true, Maggie thought, although it was more than 3 years since they had first met. 

Dan made a noise of surprise, ‘And she hasn’t said she loves you yet?’ 

‘No…’ Maggie heard a loud splash which she took as Bucky tossing another potato in the bowl. She could imagine him trying to distract himself by speed peeling his way through all the spuds in the house.

‘That's good, Maggie likes to keep things close to her chest. The fact that she hasn’t said anything means that when she does, she’ll really mean it.’ 

_ Dan! How could you be such an adorable, idiotic big brother!? If you only knew half of it... _

‘I mean it Dan, Maggie really is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. She’s my best friend.’ The hydraulics in Bucky’s arm creaked as if he was rubbing the back of his neck. 

Maggie forgot how to breathe. 

‘I guess, there are worse people to have for a brother-in-law-’ Dan quipped lightly, all the hardness had been replaced in his voice. ‘ Although if you married into the family, you would have to support the Salt Lake Stallions.’

Maggie gasped with relief when the topic mercifully turned to football. 

***

**-Drabble 6 - Raindrops on roses**

The snow had mercifully stopped around lunchtime but thick, billowing clouds continued to pour over the mountains down into the valley until the sky was almost black. A storm was coming. 

It was the type of weather that put everyone on edge. The dogs wouldn’t settle, pacing around the ground floor of the house not wanting to sleep and howling at the smallest noise. 

Even Bern and Martin, the farm hands, needed help herding the cattle into the winter shed. The animals were growing distressed and anxious, braying and refusing to be wrangled. Maggie was cold and exhausted by the time Bucky and her had returned 4 hours later. 

Bucky’s shoulder ached but he didn’t say anything. Maggie tried to encourage him to have a bath to ease his muscles but with the pending storm growing overhead, even Bucky wouldn’t settle. He was tight-lipped all the way through dinner and flinched at noises in the house. 

Maggie was in the warm place between the waking world and the land of nod when the storm broke. A huge cataclysm of noise crashed through the sky, echoing around the valley and seeming to shake the house. Next was the lighting, forking through the sky like white paint on a black canvas. 

She felt the mattress pitch as Bucky bolted upright, his breath was coming out in harsh pants. 

Automatically, Maggie reached for the light. Its warm light threw Bucky into sharp relief, his face was pale, his mouth slightly open as he panted, sweat beaded on his brow. 

‘It’s the storm, Bucky. There is nothing to worry about, nothing is here to hurt you. The storm will pass soon,’ Maggie soothed, sitting up, she edged up the bed. 

Bucky blinked at her, as if only just realising she was there. ‘A storm…?’ He murmured. 

Although his hair had fallen in front of his face Maggie could see that his pale eyes were huge with silent fear. ‘That's right, Bucky. Just a storm,’ Maggie spoke again, calmly. Bucky turned away from her, seeming to crumple in on himself, he stared at his hands. 

She needed to steady him, to anchor his attention on her and keep his mind in the present. 

‘Do you want to wait out the storm together? I doubt even I could sleep through all that racket,’ Maggie suggested, giving Bucky an easy smile. 

He nodded once hesitantly. He looked so lost, as he allowed Maggie to plump his pillows. 

They sat together in silence for a few moments. Maggie noticed Bucky’s breathing had slowed, he was concentrating on taking long, calming breaths like she had shown him just after Christmas. ‘I thought I was back there…’ Bucky’s whisper trailed off. 

Maggie didn’t look at him, instead kept her eyes respectfully forward. ‘Where did you think you were, Bucky?’ 

‘I…’ Just as Bucky opened his mouth, a small hesitant knock sounded at the door. Someone struggled with the doorknob, Bucky’s body was suddenly coiled tight like a spring, and then the door opened. 

Matt stood silhouetted in the doorway, his comfort blanket clutched in his hands, his eyes were full of tears. 

‘Aunt Maggie…’ Matt struggled to say as racking sobs choked him, he shuffled to the edge of their bed. ‘Can I…’

‘Did the storm scare you, love?’ Maggie sighed. Her heart broke a little when Matt’s bottom lip trembled and he nodded.

Without a word, Bucky reached down and scooped Matt into his arms. He held the little boy against his chest and rubbed soothing circles against his back. Bucky’s brow was furrowed slightly as if he was in pain but he was holding Matt as if he would shatter. He even hummed slightly as Matt wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. 

Maggie hadn’t realised she was smiling. Looking at how Matt clung to Bucky and how Bucky, a man who had known little to no affection in the last 70 years could be so kind, gentle, pure: something warm billowed in Maggie’s stomach. 

Maggie helped Bucky carefully lay Matt down on the bed between them and pulled the blanket up under his chin. ‘You can stay with us till you get sleepy, okay?’ Maggie whispered, brushing a stray curl off the little boy’s head. They were both laying on their sides now looking down at him, Bucky was propped up on his elbow. 

‘But I’m not tired at all now,’ Matt mumbled, even though his eyelids were already drooping. He tugged his arm free of the duvet and began to trace circles on the back of Bucky’s metal arm. ‘Do you have bad dreams, Bucky?’ He asked tentatively, looking up at Bucky through his cherub like curls. 

‘Of course I do, Buddy,’ Bucky sighed in amusement, looking up he met her eyes. ‘but Maggie helps me with them.’

The warm feeling in her belly threw sparks around her body. Nothing she could say would convey what she was feeling, so instead she mouthed ‘Thank you.’ 

***

**-Drabble 7 - Stand by Me- Ben E. King**

‘You’re .. a… heavy…lummock…’ Maggie pretended to groan. 

The kitchen was full of snowy afternoon sunshine and music spilled from the bluetooth speaker on the side of the counter. They were just doing what families did on lazy sunday afternoons; watching movies, baking, dancing in the kitchen listening to Maggie’s favourite song: Stand By Me by Ben E. King. 

Hannah was standing on Maggie’s feet as she inelegantly stepped around the kitchen table. Matt sat on the counter giggling as Hannah demanded that Maggie go faster. 

Maggie wished she had a camera to capture every second of these moments. In a year or so Hannah would be ‘too cool’ to do silly stuff like this with her. Maggie knew she missed a lot of their childhoods by working so far away.

A noise came from the doorway and Maggie jumped nearly sending Hannah sprawling on the floor. 

Bucky was leaning against the door frame to the living room, his arms were crossed over his chest, a cheeky grin showed his dimples. He must have just got out of the shower because the collar of his shirt was damp, his hair was wet and tucked behind his ears. 

‘Welcome to the Blackpool Tower, where we boogie all night long!’ Maggie laughed, twirling Hannah theatrically. 

Bucky snorted and kicked away from the door frame. ‘Mind if I cut in?’ Bucky asked as he lifted Hannah onto the kitchen counter to sit next to Matt, she giggled and blushed slightly. 

Bucky held out his hand to Maggie, who took it but hesitated. ‘You know I can’t dance, right? Not ‘proper’ dancing anyway,’ Maggie sputtered, suddenly a little embarrassed. 

_ ‘ _ _ And the land is dark,  _

_ And the moon is the only light we'll see…’ _

‘I gathered that-’ Bucky smiled slowly, giving her an appraising look. ‘-but you’re not without hope. With a little instruction from an expert…’ 

‘And you’re an expert are you?’

Bucky’s hand snaked around her waist and tugged her close so that Maggie was pressed up against his warm chest. ‘Something like that,’ Bucky smirked, looking down at her. ‘Now, you are going to take one step back with your right leg…’ 

He adopted the same manner he did when he gave her self defence lessons. He was firm but never raised his voice or told her off, it was not for the first time that Maggie thought Bucky would make a good teacher. 

_ Coffee, eucalyptus soap, fir trees, pine sap, hay, fresh linen... Christ on a bike! Had Bucky always smelt this good.  _

‘Do make it a habit of cutting in?’ Maggie joked lightly, her voice a little loud in her ears, when she realised she’d been staring at the curve of Bucky’s jaw too long. 

‘Only for the best girls,’ Bucky hummed, his Brooklyn accent heavy.

_ ‘ _ _ So darling, darling _

_ Stand by me, oh stand by me…’ _

‘You’re trying to lead again…’ 

‘I am not, I just have a firm grip.’

‘You’re trying to backseat drive our waltz, Maggie,’ Bucky grinned at her as he readjusted her hand in his. 

Was this the first time Maggie was really seeing the real 1940’s Bucky Barnes? He was joking, cocky, confident. Maggie could see dozens of girls with rollers and red lipstick swooning at his feet. The only relic of the Winter Soldier was the metal hand that rested on her lower back, its thumb moved in lazy circles against the fabric of her dress. 

_ ‘ _ _ If the sky that we look upon _

_ Should tumble and fall _

_ Or the mountain should crumble to the sea _

_ I won't cry…’ _

‘Okay, we’re going to attempt a spin…’

‘I don’t know about that…’ Maggie bit her lip. She was barely keeping her balance let alone a spin!

_ ‘ _ _ No, I won't shed a tear _

_ Just as long as you stand, stand by me…’ _

‘It’ll be fine, just watch my feet…’

‘How- OUCH!’ Maggie had panicked and headbutted Bucky, making a loud THWACK! ‘Fuck!-’ Maggie gasped, ignoring the bawling laughter from the kids. ‘-I am so, so sorry. Are you okay?’ 

Bucky rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm but he let out a low, rueful chuckle. ‘Yeah, on second thoughts, you weren’t ready for a spin. Remind me to schedule some dance lessons alongside your self-defence,’ Bucky said smugly. 

‘I don’t think I’m-’ Maggie protested, trying to step away but Bucky held her tighter. ‘I am literally Bambi on ice. I am not a dancer.’ 

Bucky’s grinned, his blue eyes twinkling. ‘If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone that you viciously attacked a vulnerable patient.’ 

‘That's blackmail!’ 

‘Damn straight, it is.’ 

**

**-Drabble 8- 10 more minutes**

He pulled the trigger. With the silencer attached the gun made a noise like a popping champagne cork. This was good. He needed to finish his mission without being detected by any of the hotel staff. 

The Asset stepped over the man’s body. Technically he wasn’t dead yet. Soldat could hear the retreating beats of the Target’s heart slowly fading like a dying drum. But he would be dead soon enough. 

He needed to find the file. The file was the objective of the mission. Kill General Alexa  Chernyshevsky, r etrieve the file, evacuate the hotel without being detected. 

As the Asset turned to search the far corner of the hotel room however he flinched as if he’d been struck. A man stood by the far wall. 

The Asset was suddenly reminded of a corpse he had seen frozen in the snow. He didn’t know where this image came from but...the man’s eyes were dead, hidden behind black mask, his skin was clammy and pale as if it had never seen the sun. 

It was a mirror. The Asset was staring at himself.

_ Had he always looked like this? How had he become this? Why had he killed this General  _ _ Chernyshevsky? Why wouldn’t the blood wash off his hands? Why… _

Bucky awoke with a start. His eyes flew open and his chest hitched as he struggled to catch his breath. 

_ “It’s just a dream, Bucky. You’re dreaming. Dreams can’t hurt you…”  _ Bucky thought about Maggie’s voice and let her words help to calm him. 

He knew he was getting better everyday. He did know that! Some days he felt almost human and yet when these horrendous memories came to him, did he really deserve to get better? 

Something warm and soft caught his attention. He’d been too wrapped up in his own head to realise that Maggie had rolled over to his side of the bed and was using his metal arm as a pillow, resting her cheek against the bottom of his shoulder. Her hand clung lightly to his forearm as if trying to keep it in place. 

Bucky tensed, feelings of panic and bliss warred in him like a confusing melee. After so long without being touched; Bucky had even craved the roughness of his handlers to try and stave off the frigid cold of the stasis chamber. Now that he had a taste of what a kind hand felt like, he yearned for more- needed them with every fibre of his being. Every tentative touch, reassuring pat from Steve and then being held by Maggie ; Bucky cherished these memories like a dragon would his treasure. 

And yet these moments were also filled with panic and fear. What if one day they found out what he’d really done? What he really was? How would he cope being thrown back into the darkness? But worst of all, what if he couldn’t control this growing hunger inside of him and he hurt someone? What if...

‘Don’t getup yet-sits too early,’ Maggie sighed sleepily, slurring her words drowsily and holding Bucky’s arm tighter. ‘You’ll let all the coldin’.’

He hadn’t realised he’d moved but he had to get away. He shouldn’t be enjoying this. He couldn’t get used to it and have it taken away from him. Not again, never again. 

‘Maggie, I’m getting up now..’ Bucky said with more conviction than he felt, trying to slide out of the bed. 

‘10 more minutes…’ Maggie mumbled, clutching at the fabric of his t-shirt and rubbing her face into his arm like his next door neighbour’s cat used to. 

‘Okay, Maggie. Just 10 minutes,’ he heard himself say. Bucky waited until her breathing was slow and deep. 

He should enjoy this while it lasts.

He watched her sleeping face with fascination. Her eyes moved rapidly under her dark lashes and she sighed a little. He’d watched Maggie sleep a few times since they had arrived in Utah. This was an occupational hazard for someone who regularly had nightmares. Maggie would burrow underneath the duvet, ignoring the pillows, resting her face on her hands; she did snore a couple of times but not as bad as a walrus. Bucky would often throw an extra blanket over her when he got up for his early morning run.

A strand of dark hair had fallen in her face, Maggie snuffled wiggling her nose. ‘I can’t remember the last time I did this with someone…’ Bucky said under his breath as he gently moved the strand of hair behind her ear. 

**

  * **Drabble 9 - Drums of war**



Bucky picked up the pace. The mountain path was steep and rocky, snow and ice lay thick on the ground and Bucky’s breath billowed like a fog but he needed to push himself. He was becoming soft. Too warm, too comfortable, if he didn’t keep his edge all he would be was a forgotten soldier with a metal arm. 

Luckily, Maggie had shown him this hike on their first day at the ranch. It was her favourite, with steep climbs, thick woods and grassy pastures, it was truly beautiful. It also offered panoramic views of the valley, which gave Bucky a perfect vantage point to scope out any unusual activity. 

Bucky had the scope from his sniper rifle pressed to his eye when a branch broke behind him. He dropped to his knee and fired from his hip. 

‘You need to work on your aim, old man,’ Clint teased as the bullet embedded in the tree trunk next to his head. 

Bucky lowered the smoking gun but didn't holster it. ‘If you wanted me to shoot you in the head, you should have said so,’ Bucky replied darkly. 

‘You’re not going to ask what I’m doing here?’ Clint cocked his eyebrow and took a step closer to Bucky but kept at arm's length. 

Bucky let out a harsh sigh which rose from his lips in the frigid air. ‘I’ve known you were here the whole time-’ he pointed into the distance with his metal hand. ‘Your base is two clicks east in the hunting cabin. You're running soft security in the valley and listening to the phone lines.’

Clint shuffled, trying to get blood into his feet. ‘Alright, you got me. But Fury wanted a back up plan case the mole found out about your little vacation spot.’ 

Bucky couldn’t fault his logic, but he sure could resent not being told about it. 

‘But we’ve got the intel that Cap didn’t want to tell you over the phone.’ Clint stepped closer so that he was level with Bucky and looked out over the valley. ‘They’ve found Metcalfe. Caps putting a plan together…’

‘When and where…’ Bucky demanded. The name ‘Metcalfe’ made the blood pound in his ears.

Clint hesitated, kicking at the snow under his feet, before turning to face Bucky. ‘Hey Bucky, look I know we don’t really know each other and all but… and I’m not rattling your cage,’ Clint rubbed the back of his neck. ‘But I’ve been watching you… not in a creepy way. This life suits you. Trust me, I get it-’ His eyes were suddenly intense, ‘-it feels really fucking good. And you and Maggie look great together... We’ll have enough people to handle it if you want to stay here for a while...’ 

Bucky snatched up Clint’s collar and hauled him close. ‘When and where…’

**

  * **Drabble 10- Birthday mess**



Bucky kicked his boots against the wall before opening the back door into the kitchen. He’d just been making the last checks to the jet before the flew back to Washington tomorrow morning. They had been lucky that the jet fit in the lambing shed, Bucky wasn’t sure how it would have handled this amount of snow. 

‘Hi...’ Bucky said in acknowledgement as he grabbed a cup of coffee. Hannah and Matt were sitting at the kitchen table in what looked like a massacre of glitter, pasta, glue and bits of colourful paper. 

Should he step in? Matt had literally managed to weld his hands together with PVA glue: Maggie would want him to step in...surely. 

‘What are you guys..’ Bucky began.

‘We’re making Aunt Maggie birthday cards!’ Hannah chirped excitedly, bouncing in her chair and she slapped sequins onto the paper. 

Bucky choked on his coffee. ‘It’s her birthday?!’

Hannah tutted, wagging her finger. ‘You don’t know when her birthday is! Bucky, this is boyfriend 101. It's next week, by the way!’ Hannah kicked out a chair and haughty gestured that Bucky should sit. Bucky obeyed silently, at a loss for words. ‘So what are you planning?’ 

‘Food. Maggie likes food,’ Bucky faltered, a rising sense of panic was constricting his chest. He should definitely do something for her. She was one of his best friends and after failing so spectacularly at Christmas, missing her birthday would be the icing on the cake. He was her fake boyfriend after all. He’d been good at this once, he thought.

‘Take her out for dinner, classic move,’ Hannah nodded approvingly. ‘Good, what else?’ 

Bucky fought the urge to pace. ‘There needs to be something else?’

‘Naturally,’ Hannah said in a business-like manner. Even Matt nodded emphatically. 

‘Okay, apparently you’re the experts.’ He set his mug down on the table, avoiding the pools of glue and glitter. ‘What do you suggest?’

Hannah looked at him appraisingly, she pretended to stroke her moustache and in the process smudge glitter over her face. ‘You’re aesthetic is low key retro-’ Bucky had no idea what Hannah had just said. ‘- so I’m thinking of something old school. Flowers, it has to be flowers!’ 

Bucky sighed with relief. ‘Flowers, I can do.’ Bucky understood the language of flowers. 

‘Anything short of a dozen makes you look cheap.’

Matt nodded again in agreement as he began to carefully place macaroni onto a piece of pink card. 

‘How do you know all this stuff?’ Bucky enquired carefully. He didn’t think they would wind him up but Steve and him did much worse to Becky’s boyfriends back in Brooklyn. 

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race.’

Was that a band? A magazine? Bucky had no idea. 

**

**Drabble 11- Falling out...**

She scrubbed at her face with water. Again and again, rubbing at her skin until it was raw. 

_ How could she be so stupid! For fuck sake, Maggie Isle, how could you have let this happen...  _

The mirror was fogged when she looked up. She swore and slashed her hand across it, as if the steam had offended her. It hadn’t. She was just lashing out because she was panicked. She sucked in a ragged breath and tried to think.

She was a doctor for the Head of Psychiatry for Christ sake! If she couldn’t think her way out of this, who could. 

Currently medical research stated that the chemical reaction attributed to falling in love took a fifth of a second to take effect. That was it, all she needed to do was to out think the dopamine and oxytocin that was raging through her system. 

_ When had it started?  _ Maggie wrapped her arms around herself and sat on the toilet, trying to calm her breathing. She didn’t know what it had started: how long was a piece of string. 

The only thing she did know was when she had realised. 

The kids hurled snowballs at her, yelling wildly. Maggie shrieked and ducked behind the quad bike in the front yard. 

In retrospect, challenging them to a snowball-tag battle may not have been the best way to get them to do their homework. But Maggie didn’t specialise in child psychology. If she did she..

Maggie dropped to the ground, narrowly missing a snowball to the face. 

‘Hey!’ Maggie jumped out from her hiding place. ‘If you give up now, I won't make you eat vegetables at supper?’ Maggie tried to reason. 

‘I’d rather eat broccoli than do long division!’ Hannah shouted back, lobbing two snowballs in her direction. Matt was kneeling on the ground making them while Hannah was honing her pitching skills. Crafty little…

Just then the door to the Big House opened and Bucky stepped out onto the porch. 

_ Thank goodness, the cavalry had arrived! _

‘Hey, take five guys- Hey!’ Maggie dodged as Hannah tried to get in one more shot. ‘I said take five, Bucky might want to play.’ Maggie shot Bucky a pleading look. 

He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘What's the game?’ 

Hannah and Matt launched into a rather loud and complicated explanation of snowball-tag. Snowball-tag was a game that Dan and Maggie had developed when they were little. The rules were simple, you could tag people by hitting them with snowballs but you could only win by physically ‘tagging’ them. 

Maggie had thought she would win with her long distance throwing but the little buggers wouldn’t leave their hiding place behind the snow blower. 

‘Will you be on our team, Bucky?’ 

Maggie would not stand for this insubordination. ‘Hey, no way! You’ve already got two on your team.’ Maggie protested. 

Bucky turned to her, a slow and mischievous smile on his face. ‘But what do I get in return for joining your team?’

Maggie gaped and scrambled for something to say. ‘I shall...I shall personally drive you and Steve to Coney Island for the day.’ 

‘We’ll make you a hot chocolate with marshmallows!’ Matt chimed in a quiet but excited voice. 

_ Traitors! _

Bucky cocked his head as if weighing up his options. And then, turning deliberately slowly, joined Matt and Hannah behind the snowblower; all the while keeping his eyes on Maggie, daring her. As if to say “w _ hat are you gonna do about it, Doc _ ?”

‘Alright -’ Maggie held her hands up and started backing away, ‘in the name of fairness, since it is now three against one...Thankyou for that, Bucky! I think I deserve a five minute head start...with your eyes closed.’ 

‘We’ll give you two minutes!’ Hannah shouted back. 

Maggie didn’t know whether to feel betrayed or proud. Hannah would make a great lawyer someday. 

‘Fine!’ 

But Maggie already had a plan. Bucky was a complication that she hadn’t counted on but it didn’t change the rules of the game. All she needed was a good vantage point to throw the snowballs, picking them off one by one. When she’d got them with snowballs, she would tag them as they raced after her. 

Skidding in the snow, Maggie raced around the stables and then doubled back so that her prints overlapped in the snow. Carefully, she retraced her steps until she was in front of the garage doors and slid inside, hoping that no one would notice where the door scuffed the snow. 

The garage had a row of farm vehicles at one end and the ladder up the hayloft at the other. Maggie picked up the pace as she heard the kids excited screams as they raced towards the stables. 

She was almost at the top of the ladder. There was a hatch she could prop open to… An arm shot out and snatched her around the middle. The world flipped as Maggie landed on her back in hay. Bucky was kneeling between her thighs, his flesh hand covering her mouth, his body flush against her. 

Maggie tried to struggle, swearing protests into his hand. 

Bucky pressed his finger to his lips and shushed her. Maggie stilled as they both lay, listening to the pounding feet of the kids pass by. Time stood still. 

Maggie couldn’t help but feel him. All of him. His body pressed down on her in the soft bed of hay. He held his weight carefully over her, caging her face with his arms, the coiled muscles of his torso pressed down on her hips. Maggie tried to shift away but the friction only sent her reeling more. He engulfed her.

The warm feeling in her belly was fiery this time, flaring up like it was scorching her. 

Maggie wet her lips when Bucky finally removed his hand, her mouth tingled from his touch. ‘I’m going to get snowballed thanks to you,’ Maggie whispered, panting a little. 

It was as if he already knew what she was going to say, he smiled slowly as his hand slid to cup the base of your head.  ‘I wouldn’t let that happen.’ 

And he was warm too. It was like he was a furnace. She could feel it all the way down into her toes. Maggie wanted nothing more than to slide her hands under his layers of clothing…

She needed to snap out of it.  _ What if he could hear my heart pounding?! _

‘Why’s that?’ Maggie tried to force the breathiness from her voice. ‘I didn’t take you for the Benedict Arnold type?’

Bucky’s smile had always been devastatingly handsome. His lips were rosy and a little chapped from the cold air. ‘I’m playing the long game. I really want to go to Coney Island, Maggie...’He spoke softly, his breath brushing against her ear. 

His brow furrowed slightly as he adjusted his weight on top of her and carefully touched her neck with the back of his hand, brushing away a fleck of hay. Yet his hand remained, resting between the hollow of her collar bones. 

‘A promise is a promise.’ Maggie heard herself say. Her voice was thick and syrupy. 

‘But I want to go with you, Maggie Isle.’ His mouth opened and closed as if he didn’t know what to say. ‘ Just you and me and Coney Island.’

Right there and then, she was at a loss for everything; no words, no breath, no thoughts. The only thing that mattered was that Bucky kept saying her name, shakey and quiet as if it was breakable.  She was too entranced by his mouth to think of anything else but him. It was like being doused with ice and fire, she needed him, his power, his pain: in that moment she would have laid the world at his feet if he’d asked for it. 

His eyes searched her face, his pupils dilated and then he began leaning down, slowly, hesitantly .

‘It's a date…’ she whispered as she offered him her mouth. 

The bathroom light flickered overhead.  Thank God the kids had arrived when they did. 

Maybe she could change things. Maybe we can move past this. Maybe things have changed.

_ I am not in love with him.  _ It was her new mantra. The more she said, the more she fought, the more she hoped it would work. 

I cannot be in love. I especially cannot be in love with him! We were playing pretend, like kids playing happy families. Every touch, every fake smile had been part of the play: Act One, Scene two ‘Make Maggie fall in love with me.’ She was such a fool. Pretending to be her boyfriend was just an act. He was using skills he had learnt with Hydra so well that the lines between reality were blurred. 

_ I am not in love with him. _

She may not be his doctor but it was ethically immoral for her to pursue a relationship with him. She would be abusing a position of power to undermine a patients rehabilitation. _ Fuck _ . It made her feel ill to think of the damage she could do to his recovery. 

_ I am not in love with him. _

But...but she’d had this growing feeling in her chest for sometime. She didn’t know the month, or the day, or the hour it started but it was there, a warm and pleasant comfort. 

_I am in love with him but there is no hope_. 

Had it been holding him in the cabin? Christmas? Earlier than that even, maybe Thanksgiving? Whenever it was, it didn’t matter anymore. 

Maggie sighed and dried her eyes, she didn’t know when she’d started to cry. 

Falling in love was the easy part. Forcing yourself to fall out of it would be another battle all together. 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you go! Sorry/not sorry that I ended on an angsty bit
> 
> You're next update should be next weekend now because its quite a complicated chapter and it will have a lot of action in. 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think. I actually really enjoyed writing Daddy Bucky, he's to cute ...


	14. Hell or Highwater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hello! 
> 
> You lucky readers are in for a treat. This was supposed to be two chapters but I just couldn't resist because I am all about the drama.
> 
> However I do have a few notes before you dive right in:   
> \- There are some upsetting scenes in this chapter. Mainly blood, gore and violence throughout but there is a moment that could be seen as sexual violence. If you don't like, when you get to '...swore and hurled her away.' Jump to 'Someone wants to see you, Doctor.'   
> \- Also any MD has to do 8 years of internal medicine before specialising in psychiatry, so Maggie does have the know how but because she doesn't practice it day in day out, she feels a little rusty.   
> \- Also there are a lot of memories in this chapter. To make sure they stand apart from the inner monologues I've put them in brackets.

‘I need all available medical personnel in the ER. Offer them double...no, triple time, I don’t care. Just get everyone here now,’ Maggie ordered as she sprinted down the hall, struggling against the oncoming tide of wounded men. ‘Friday - ‘ Maggie shouted into her comm, ‘request personnel from Washington General and Hearts Royal, we need scrubs on the ground. If we can’t divert them...’ 

‘I am afraid you do not have the authorisation...’ Friday began, speaking through Maggie’s earpiece.

Maggie flattened herself against the wall as a gurney raced by. ‘I am the only department head on site and as such the responsibility falls to me to ensure that this situation is dealt with. Now get me boots on the ground!’ 

‘That is impossible Dr Isle, there has been a crash on Freeway 67. All roads leading to and from the Triskelion are blocked.’ 

Something froze in Maggie’s chest. ‘How are the team going to get back?’

‘Colonel Rhodes is sending on a helicopter to extract the remaining team but we have yet to make contact with Captain Rogers’ group.’ 

‘Try Stark again, try anything. Just get them home.’ 

'Mr Stark is already on the mission with...'

Maggie shut off her comms and stepped into the waking hell of the ER. 

The medical alarm had been raised an hour ago. It was a sound that everyone dreaded. It meant the mission had gone bad, people got hurt, men were dead. 

The first bodies had arrived shortly after in the Quinjet .

She thought it was going to be bad. Maggie had been wrong. It was so much worse. 

Gurneys piled through the doors, spilling into the hallways. Cries of pain, the smell of piss and blood burned the back of her throat. 

Maggie clambered on the bank of desks at the centre of the room. ‘Eyes on me!’ Maggie shouted fiercely. They all looked pale with fear. They were not prepared for this. ‘Nurses, I need you to triage. We are outmanned and outgunned, we need to prioritize. All walking wounded are to be sent upstairs. Nurse Clarks is leading the first aid trained support staff there. Patients needing a surgical consult are to be stabilized until we get someone from Washington-’ 

‘Dr Isle!’ The Code Blue alarm sounded over in bay 6. 

Captain Kowschi was flatlining. Medical Intern Briggs had nicked an artery while trying to extract a bullet. Blood spurted over in his face like a comedy ketchup bottle. 

‘Briggs, get that vein clamped. Dresden, start chest compression. Do not stop! Where is the crash cart? Administering EPI now.’ There was a slight tremble in her hands as she pushed the needle into Kowschi’s arm. 

‘He needs more blood, he’s lost two quartz already,’ Briggs panted, wiping his bloodied face with his elbow. 

‘Start a two litre line of normal saline, wide open and send for two litres of blood,’ Maggie ordered, taking the medical clamp out of Briggs hands and shouldering the young man out of the way. 

Nurse Lopez stepped up and spoke quietly in her ear. ‘We ran out of blood 10 minutes ago, Dr Isle.’

‘All of it?’ Maggie heard herself say. She clamped the vein and turned to Briggs. ‘Get him stabilised and sewn up as quick as you can.’ 

Maggie began to pull off her gloves and gown. It was splattered with gore. 

‘But what about the blood?’ 

Maggie bite her lip. She didn’t have time for this. ‘Find a blood match in the walking wounded and do a live transfusion…’ 

Maggie was already walking away when Briggs called after her. ‘But that isn’t proper procedure!’ 

She paced back to him and grasped his elbow, forcibly turning him away from the prying eyes of the nurses. ‘In any other situation, I would agree with you Dr Briggs-’ Maggie spoke in a hushed tone. ‘But what about this situation looks normal to you? This ER was not designed for this capacity, so I am going to bend the rules in order to save lives. When this is over, all breaches of procedure will be laid at my door and I will say you acted under my orders. Do we understand each other, Dr Briggs?’ 

The young man gave a stiff nod. 

‘Dr Isle, we’re out of empty beds and wheelchairs....’ 

‘I’ll sort it...’ and then she found that she was running. Down cramped hallways and around corners-

Suddenly her legs went from under and the back of her head hit the floor with a resounding WHACK! 

_ (‘We’ll get this bastard, don’t you worry about him, Maggie,’ Steve had reassured her that morning.  _

_ ‘I’m not worried about Metcalfe…’ Maggie fretted.  _

_ Steve followed her eyes to where Bucky was assembling his rifle at the foot of the plane. Steve sighed heavily and placed his hand on her shoulder. ‘I won’t let him out of my sight.’ ) _

Her heart kicked up a few beats to pump blood faster, oxygenate her organs faster, prepare for a fight. Her brain was already plotting against her better judgement. Maggie was starting to panic. 

_ Bucky... _

She pulled herself to her feet. Blood covered her hands and scrubs. She’d skidded on blood. It was on her hands, on her skin, in her hair. With a sob she tore off her shirt and scoured it over her skin, swearing under her breath. 

Maggie sucked in some air and forced her legs to move. She found a fresh shirt and washed her hands at a sanitation station. She took another breath before turning on her comm.

‘Friday, tell Nurse Clarks on level 4 that all walking wounded should give up their wheelchairs. Bring them down to the hallway just off the ER. Tell her to use office chairs if she has to. Then put a call into Demmie Cormac at Henley Corporation, tell her if she flys the supplies we need here in less than an hour Fury will make her Christmas bonus look like spare change-’ Maggie hesitated, straining her brain to think of anything else. ‘And call maintenance to clean up this mess.’

‘Maggie...? 

She spun on her heel. Sam Wilson was laid out on a gurney. Sweat covered his brow and muscles in his jaw jumped from pain. His hands were drenched in blood as he pressed down on his side. 

‘Holy shit! Why haven’t you been seen to?!’ Maggie exclaimed, pulling a med kit from a crash cart. Immediately she pulled on a pair of latex gloves and pushed his hands away from the wound. 

‘Nurse Ratchet said that I wasn’t a -’ Sam made bunny ears with his hands- ‘ “priority” patient,’ Sam scoffed, wincing in pain as Maggie probed his side. 

‘I bet that ruined your nurse fantasy-’ Maggie commented drily as she cut away his shirt. ‘You are lucky though, the bullet went through and through. The only bad news is…’ 

Sam tensed. ‘What? What is it, Doc?’ 

‘You’ll never play professional basketball again,’ Maggie smirked, pressing a needle into the top of his arm. 

‘You’re real cute, Maggie. So much for bedside manners,’ Sam winced as the local anaesthetic was administered. 

‘Yeah, well. I’m a psychiatrist, I’m a little out of my comfort zone here. Plus we haven’t had much to laugh about around here.’ 

Sam sighed heavily and leaned back on the gurney. ‘It was a shit show from the start. They knew we were coming and they hit us-’ his voice had a bitter, steely edge to it. ‘-they hit us with something …. I don’t even think it was human.’ 

Maggie needed to concentrate on the stitches, she needed to keep her mind in the here and now. She needed not to think about Bucky. 

‘The team got separated?’ She already knew this but she needed confirmation. 

Sam tried to sit up and caught her eye. ‘Vision and Wanda were dealing with hostiles. My wings got damaged and I was grounded… I don’t know what happened to Steve and Bucky.’ Sam’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. ‘They went radio silent. They are missing.’ 

Maggie opened her mouth but a call came through over the speak system. 

_ ‘Dr Isle, please report to level six immediately. Dr Isle, please report to level six immediately.Dr Isle, please …’ _

And then the lights flickered and died, throwing them into impenetrable darkness. 

‘Crap!’ Maggie swore as she pulled her glove off with her teeth and snatched her phone out of her pocket. She could hear people crying out down in the ER room. ‘Hold this,’ she ordered, activating the phone light and pushing it into Sam’s outstretched hand. 

‘I don’t like this, Maggie, surely the Triskelion would have backup generators. They should have kicked in by now,’ Sam warned, trying to sit up on the gurney. 

Maggie pushed him back impatiently, tieing off the last stitch. ‘I’ve got to run, Sam but grab the next nurse you see and sa…’

‘This feels all wrong…’ Sam sat up and tried to swing his legs over the bed but he was wobbly and Maggie just caught him before he pitched forward. 

‘Say to the nurse “Dr Isle says I need to be given broad spectrum antibiotics and another 20 mils of  naproxen”.’ 

Sam clutched her arm, she couldn’t see his face but his voice was tense. ‘You shouldn’t go, there is something wrong about this…’ 

Maggie forcibly removed Sam’s hand. ‘The stairwell is just around the corner. I need to go, Sam, I’ll be fine. Just stay here and try and keep out of trouble.’ 

Luckily the emergency light above the stairwell was still working as Maggie heaved the door open and began taking the stairs two at a time. 

Sam had said Steve’s team was radio silent. That could mean anything. Their batteries had run out, they were under a bridge, they’d all dropped their comms. It didn’t mean…

_ No! Don’t think about it. _

She forced herself to think about the staff down in the ER. Luckily the nurses were all senior, they could handle just about everything that was thrown at them. Maggie just hoped the interns were up to the snuff. Triskelion didn’t have a fully equipped hospital unit. The ER was meant to treat...

_ (‘Bucky, you don’t have to go, you know. You could stay…’  _

_ They were sitting at the kitchen table. Bucky’s tactical gear was piled up at the door while Maggie tried to think of ways to delay his leaving. More bacon, top up of coffee, you shoes need relacing… _

_ Bucky set his cup of coffee down and stared into the mug. ‘You don’t have to be frightened of him anymore, Maggie...’  _

_ ‘I’m not frightened of him!’ Maggie snapped harsher than she’d meant too. ‘I just...don’t use me as an excuse to get yourself hurt.’  _

_ ‘I… I need you to be safe.’ Bucky sighed hesitantly, his voice was hushed and low, with a desperate edge to it. ‘I need you to be safe from him. And I need to make sure all the serum is destroyed. All of it this time.' _

_ Maggie leaned across the table and took his metal hand in hers, holding it tightly. He could feel the warmth radiating from her skin.  _

_ ‘Just.. don't do anything stupid.’ Maggie’s voice trembled slightly.  _

_ 'No promises.') _

Maggie’s lungs were burning and her lips were dry by the time she reached level six but as her hand came down on the handle, she hesitated. Sam’s words replayed in her head.

What was up on level six that needed her attention so badly? There were data banks, a few offices, security offices, Banner’s lab, the communications tower…

_ Maybe they’ve found Steve’s team?! _

But even as she thought it, Sam’s words came to her again with piercing clarity. Something didn’t feel right about this. 

Her scalp screamed as a large, rough hand snagged her hair and slammed Maggie’s head into the fire door. If she cried out she didn’t hear it. Her vision went white with pain but she managed to keep her feet. Stubble chafed against her cheek as her attacker wrenched her head back, wrapping his thick arm around her waist. He pressed his body against her and snorted when she tried to squirm. 

‘You always were more trouble than you were worth.’ 

Maggie pushed down her panic and drew on Bucky’s training. She threw her arms up, taking the man by surprise, clawing at his eyes. 

‘Bitch!’ He swore and hurled her away. 

Maggie didn’t look back. As soon as she was free she was running, scrambling up the stairs away from…A hand caught her ankle and dragged her feet from under her. Her back hit the steps and the air whooshed out of her lungs. She struggled to gasp in pain and forced her eyes open, blinking away tears. 

‘Rumlow…?’ His name slipped from her mouth in disbelief. He loomed over her like a bad dream. One side of his face contorted into an ugly snarl, the other was a shiny scarlet scar twisting his skin a half human mask. 

‘Did you miss me, Doc?’ Rumlow asked darkly, his face pulling into a smile that made Maggie fill with dread. 

She kicked wildly at him, focusing on the knees, groin, stomach but he blocked deftly, laughing at her attempts to get away. 

He caught her wrist, gripping it painfully as he hauled her to her feet. She tried to struggle, screaming and trying to drag herself away but Rumlow smirked and lowered his gun in front of her face. Slowly, enjoying the fear in her eyes, he pressed his gun against her mouth and forced it between her lips. Maggie tried to violently pull away but Rumlow grabbed her jaw and jammed the gun against her front teeth. Yanking her jaw open, he forced the gun into her mouth, smiling as tears fell down her face. 

Rumlow leaned close to her face, breathing hard through his mouth as he grinned at her. ‘Someone wants to see you, Doctor.’ 

***

**4 hours earlier**

The over crowded jet jostled with turbulence and the men grumbled as they clung to the stirrups. 

Their intel had been patchy at best but they needed to move quickly. No one wanted to say it out loud but Bucky’s stomach churned at the thought of a new generation of Winter Soldiers. 

What would they do if they were unleashed on the world? What had he already…

_ (‘They conditioned you, Bucky. The same way you would a dog. It was cruel of them. It was wrong. What was done to you was evil. They made you feel like this but it is not who you are.’ Flames reflected off her tears as she held him close.) _

Bucky gave his head a little shake.

It was a full house of Avengers, apart from Thor and the Hulk who were off-world, plus two teams of SHIELD’s Strike force. The plan was simple. Wilson, Wanda and Vision take the air. Natasha and Tony would lead Strike Force Team A on a ground assault from the west. Steve and Bucky would be leading Strike Force Team B from the east. Clint and Parker would bottleneck anything inbound. Scott and Hill were hanging back with a medical team on the Quinjet as reserve 

Bucky watched the digital schematics of the compound hover and buzz as Steve studied them silently. He was sitting by himself at the head of the plane, hunched over as he ran through all the possible scenarios in his head.

He hadn’t changed in the slightest, Bucky thought. They could have been in a Lancaster Bomber flying over Salzburg laughing and joking with the Howling Commandos, and Steve would have still have been sitting in the exact same position. Leadership came easy to Steve but the responsibility had always weighed heaving on his shoulders. 

Instead they were flying over Columbia in a stealth Quinjet surrounded by thirty people Bucky hardly knew. 

_ (‘That’s a fancy ass gun you got yourself there, Barnes,’ Dum Dum remarked, amusement making his eyes crease as he polished a knuckle duster with a rag: the same way someone would polish a family heirloom.  _

_ ‘It's one of Starks’ toys,’ Bucky laughed, handing Dum Dum his new rifle, ‘I hope it's as good as he says.’  _

_ It was January 1944 and they were flying to a remote location in Sweden to capture Dr Zola and bring him to justice for war crimes. Bucky couldn’t wait to get his hands on the bastard... _

_ ‘As long as you’ve got good men around you, you could have a be swinging a fryin’ pan and we’d still nail those Nazi sons of bitches,’ Dum Dum snorted and tossed Bucky back the rifle.  _

_ ‘ _ _ Blood is thicker than water, but Loyalty is thicker than blood.’ Flasworth chimed in, looking up from his copy of the London Times.  _

_ Bucky smiled and took a moment to look at the men he was going into battle with; The Howling Commandos, his friends. ‘Yeah...yeah, I guess it is.’ ) _

  
  


Bucky’s head began to ache as the new memory rose in his mind but his hands itched to write it down. 

_ (‘So we better get you some more notebooks then, Bucky, cause you’re stuck with me.’ Maggie’s words seemed to stick in her throat but the world fell away when she smiled at him.) _

It had been steadily more difficult to keep himself focused, memories of Maggie invading his mind, teasing his senses until he could easily get lost in them. He could easily get lost in her. But there was something else he needed to do first. Something he needed to do before they landed. 

He needed to make his peace. 

Tony was sitting at the other end of the cargo bay, tuning up the iron gauntlet on his wrist. He flexed his wrist a few times before returning the screwdriver to his kit. Bucky could hear Stark’s heart rate pitch over the strange humming of his electromagnet as he noticed Bucky approaching. He visibly tensed, bolting to his feet, fists by his side aggressively.

Bucky hesitated before haltingly, offering his hand. ‘Thank you for coming, Stark. I know it couldn’t have been easy.’

Tony looked down at Bucky’s hand as if it was made of garbage. ‘I’m not doing this to be selfless.’ Tony’s voice was low and hard, a muscle twitched in his eye when he spoke giving Bucky the impression that Iron Man was barely keeping his anger in check. ‘ I’m here to ensure that there are no more of  **_you_ ** running about and murdering innocent people.’

Bucky flinched as if he’d been sucker punched. Clearing his throat, he let his hand fall to his side. ‘Doesn’t matter why you're here. All that matters is that you are.’ 

Tony ground his teeth but he looked away suddenly. ‘Yeah, well, Maggie said some things that I couldn’t shake,’ he conceded. 

_ (‘He’s a really good person, Tony just likes to hide it really well.’ Maggie commented, smiling to herself. They were sitting on the sofa in the penthouse watching a news report about Tony’s recent donations to charity.  _

_ It was early January. Maggie had a nasty cold so she was wrapped up in numerous blankets and jumpers, her nose red and her eyes were watery.  _

_ Bucky couldn’t help worrying, thinking back to all those winters Steve had got pneumonia. Maggie wasn’t Steve but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t top up her hot water bottle every half hour.  _

_ She shuffled on the sofa, pulling her legs to her chest so that she could face him, peering at Bucky over all her blankets. ‘He’ll come round. I think there’s a part of him that already knows how he’s been treating you is wrong.’) _

‘Yeah, she does that sometimes. Thing is she’s usually right,’ Bucky huffed lightly. 

Tony opened his mouth to speak but Steve’s voice rang out through their earpieces. ‘Suit up! We’re making our approach.’ 

All around the cargo bay, men were doing the final checks to their uniforms. Tugging on gloves, fastening helmets, checking magazines... 

_ (His mouth opened once and then closed again. Bucky’s eyes were wide as he took in her tall high heels, pale legs, statuesque figure hiding under one thin layer of silk…Bucky felt like he had been plunged into a very hot bath.  _ _ And yet he couldn’t stop himself looking at her. He couldn’t help himself. _

_ As she sat in front of him on the sofa, the golden necklace dangling from her hand, Maggie’s silk dress gaped slightly. She had a petal shaped birthmark under her right shoulder blade. He could see the curve of her spine disappearing down into its sheath.  _

_ Her hand was scrunched into her dark hair in a haphazard way, wafting her perfume in the air. Bay, verbena, tonka bean, champagne, cotton assaulted Bucky’s heightened senses. He wanted to taste her... ) _

‘Earth to Bucky...’ Steve shook his shoulder. ‘You okay, Buck?’ Steve asked in concern. He was full geared up, his helmet already pulled over his eyes.

Bucky gave him a stunted nod. ‘Yeah, I’m good to go.’

_ Get your head in the game, Barnes, and out of the damned gutter! You gotta stop thinking about her like that or you’ll end up getting yourself killed.  _

The cargo bay doors opened, revealing a dark and humid. They had landed two clicks away from the compound. Luckily the jungle was dense and deep, the Quinjet could lay low while the approached on foot. The looming trees were dark and apprehensive, closing in over their heads. 

The gasp before the plunge.

As their feet hit the ground, the tension rose. It was like a metallic taste in the air. Tangy and unpleasant. It radiated off the men. Some would tense up, remaining still and silently, chewing the inside of their mouths. Others would be restless, stripping and reassembling their weapons, checking their gear. 

Bucky knew it well. He pushed everything else out of his head and concentrated on the task at hand. 

It was like when he had written letters to home. When he put pen to paper it opened up emotions inside of him that he had locked down hard in order to be able to do his job. It made him softer, more vulnerable. But at the same time it was all that kept him going.

He couldn’t be like that here. He couldn’t allow himself to think about Maggie or worry about Steve getting hurt. He couldn’t think about how she had begged him not to go on this mission. 

_ (‘I’ll be home before you know it.’ He had said, trying to reassure her as they geared up the plane hanger. Bucky reached out and brushed a rogue strand of hair off her cheek and behind her ear. He shouldn’t have done it, but he didn’t regret it. ) _

Home. 

Maggie felt like home. 

**

Two guards on the east side, three more on the west. 

Bucky and Kowschi dispatched theirs quickly. Not as quickly as slitting their throats but choking them out worked too. 

The jungle had been cleared in a 10 metre perimeter to the compound. It was made of high concrete walls, lined with barbed wire. Search lights and heavy artillery crowned each corner. The killing zone by the reinforced front gate was flanked by M2 machine guns and 6 armoured guards. 

But they weren’t going to use the front gate. 

‘Team A, on my mark.’ Steve spoke softly into his earpiece. 30 seconds till the searchlights passed them by. ‘Remember, our target is Metcalfe. Extract him. Destroy the serum. Team A, confirm.’ 

‘Confirmed orders, Cap,’ Natasha answered in a clipped tone. 

‘Roger roger, Captain Popsicle.’ Tony did his best to sound serious. Steve did his best to ignore him. 

‘Once we’re inside, I need our birds in the air to clear away their artillery.’ 

‘We’ll deal with it, Cap, but it looks like they were ready for us. They’re dug in like ticks.’ Sam breathed into his comm. 

Glancing up, Bucky thought he caught a glint of Sam’s wing tip through the jungle canopy. 

‘Parker, once we’re in and Sam’s team have drawn the fire, then and only then will you take out the searchlights and clear the front gate,’ Steve’s voice was suddenly unwaveringly stern. 

‘Right you are...I mean, roger roger, over and out.’ Parked gasped out. 

‘Don’t stress yourself kid. It’ll be just like Call of Duty,’ Tony snorted. 

The searchlight moved. 30 second opening. 

Bucky darted out from cover. His footfalls are light and noiseless. The concrete wall hit his back just as the gap closed, the lights passed over where the rest of the team lay in hiding. With a grunt of effort, Bucky plunged his metal hand into the concrete, sparks flew as he gouged out the rubble. Then he deposited his payload, cramming the explosive into the crevice he had made. Timer set, he sprinted into the cover of the jungle just as the lights closed around them. 

**

Bucky couldn’t see. Rubble, dust, blood choked the air. The foot pressing on his throat stamped harder. 

It had been a trap from the start. A poisoned chalice. 

‘Somethings blocking the signal. It can’t get through! Team A don’t know its a fucking trap,’ Marks screamed hysterically over the exploding concrete and gun fire. 

It was a maze of tight, dark hallways and catacombs of dimly lit warehouses, each lined with hundreds of shipping containers. They had followed noises at first, then small firefights, luring them deeper into the compound. 

They were pinned down at an intersection. Taking fire on both sides, Steve covered Wilkes and Kowschi with his shield over his head. Debris flying wildly, bullet casings shot hot into the air, the ground rumbled at an explosion on the ground.

Bucky snarled as he returned fire. The gun kicked back against his shoulder, a comforting weight, the sting of sweat in the air hitting his nose. 

This was his life. What he was made for. 

‘I knew I should have slept with her,’ Kowschi shouted at Wilkes as they both ducked. ‘I’m gonna  die here never knowing what she was like in bed!’ 

‘Tell you what, if I survive, I’ll sleep with her and then at least one of us will know what she’s like in the sack,’ Wilkes laughed as he returned fire. 

The bullets hit their targets with extreme precision. They tore effortlessly through the soft human tissue, allowing the arteries to split. This coated the floor in a slick, thick liquid. Blood. 

_ (Maggie was listening to a song through her headphones, something slow and sultry, her hips swayed a little as she whispered the lyrics under her breath. Her long skirt flared out as she spun, her woollen socks slipping on the wooden floor.)  _

Kowschi was thrown backwards. Blood gushed from his side. His hands tore at Bucky’s tactical gear as he writhed in pain, his mouth open in a silent scream. Wilkes and Marks’ slumped lifeless on the floor. 

_ (She was mumbling in her sleep. Snuffling, she shivered and pressed herself against his side, pulling the duvet up his chest as she snuggled closer.)  _

‘Steve! Steve-’ Bucky shouted over the sound of gun fire, grabbed his friends shoulder, hurling him round to face him. ‘That was a one in a million shot. I couldn’t make it!’ 

Steve looked down at the bodies of his team and grabbed a grenade from his belt. The pin hit the ground as the explosion tore through the hallway. Dust and smoke billowed after them as they ran for cover, dragging Kowschi behind them. 

‘What are you saying, they were trying to hit Wilkes?’ Steve gasped out, skidding behind a upturned barrel and returning fire. 

‘I’m saying they don’t want to kill us!’ Bucky roared as something exploded overheard. 

Steve’s finger hesitated on the trigger and the firing stopped. 

A light flickered at the end of the corridor, casting long shuddering shadows against the grey walls. A tall figure stood silhouetted against the flickering backdrop as smoke and dust fell around them. A low, dark laughter escaped its lips but there was no humour in it. 

It stepped into the light and Bucky’s blood went cold. 

Its face was like a piece of flint, cold and sharp and pointed. It wore a hood and a long black coat, its pointed ears stood to attention. Dark eyes glinted menacingly from within a pale face as it watched the humans hungrily. 

'Well done,’ The elf smirked darkly, twirling his lethal looking spear in his spindly hands. ‘I am so glad we can get to the main event.’ 

Bucky pulled himself up to his full height and checked his magazine. He had four bullets left, he would make them count. 

‘Where is Metcalfe?’ Steve asked angrily, blood ran from the side of his mouth as he panted out the words. ‘Where is he?!’ 

‘He has gone after another prize.’ Bucky and Steve spun as a high and bitter laugh came from the other end of the hallway. Another dark elf. 

They were trapped. Back to back now, they stared down their new opponents. 

_ (He reached out his hand and pulled her up the steep slope. Maggie skidded a little on the mud but she scrambled up after him, resting her hands on his waist to steady herself as they reached the top of the ridge.  _

_ ‘You can see the whole world from up here,’ Maggie gasped in delight. Her cheeks were flushed and sweaty, wisps of hair had fallen out of her ponytail, her scarf whipped about her in the freezing wind. Her eyes glittered as she took his hand and pulled him close, pointing at birds flying over the horizon.)  _

‘Don’t worry we won’t kill you,’ One of the creatures jeered. In unison their spears lit up and hummed with energy. It fizzled in the air making Bucky’s hair stand on end. 

‘Where is Metcalfe?!’ Steve repeated. 

‘Much-’ the creatures began to walk forward, each word punctuated by a step. ‘...closer... to... home.’ 

The world slowed. 

**_The blood pounded in his ears. His heart thudded in his chest._ **

Wild panic. 

Maggie was his home. 

Bucky was thrown backwards as a proton blast from a spear pounded into his arm. His back hit ground and the air rushed out of his lungs. 

_ (The world had fallen asleep. It was muffled and distant and the only thing that mattered was the way that Maggie pulled him closer. _

__ _ ‘It's a date…’ she whispered, her chest heaved as her lips searched for his. Soft and rosey from the cold air.) _

He flipped up and caught the elf in the jaw with a powerful roundhouse to the face. Steve charged the other, loud clangs of his shield reverberated around the corridor jarring Bucky’s ears. 

The elf snarled, baring yellowing teeth, as he brought his spear down again and again. Bucky parried, using the narrowness of the hallway against it, ducking under his guard to jab and kick. The elf whirled widely aiming for Bucky’s head but he caught him by the elbow and snapped its arm over his knee. 

The creature screamed like a feral alien thing, its inhumane screech splitting the air like a knife. Bucky fell to his knees clutching his head as blood poured from his ears. Distantly he knew that Steve was crying out as well but he was paralysed with wracking agony. 

Something closed around the back of his neck like a vice. The world went up and down as he was slammed in the ground like a rag doll. 

The pain. Blinding pain as the buzzing end of the spear was forced against his metal arm, pinning him to the cold ground. 

His nerve endings were on fire. 

_ (He was falling. Freezing air. Snow. Pain. From high above someone screamed his name.) _

__

_ (Maggie’s eyes shone with unshed tears as her body trembled. ‘...and if you see Bucky, let him know that a friend of Steve’s is a friend of mine…’) _

_ ‘Bucky, come home. Come home to me, love…I love you, ’ _ It wasn’t a memory. It was a hope that had been buried deep within his chest. 

‘I love you, Maggie.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it. 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing Bucky's perspective. I was interested how his realisation would differ that of Maggie's. His mind works differently to Maggie's, arguably its an emotional intelligence thing that Bucky is still getting the hang off. 
> 
> Also, Dark Elves....the plot thickens....
> 
> I would love to hear your thoughts and theories. Hopefully I should be posting again soon. xx


	15. Cards on the table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘You’re letters stopped…’She forced herself to look at him, twisting in his arms. ‘I read them. Everyone.’ The tears in her eyes were real but the tenderness in her voice was a lie.
> 
> His eyes dilated. Spots of ink in arctic water. Manic. Cold. Possessive. Unbalanced. She couldn’t bear to see herself reflected in his gaze. Hideous, a warped, ugly thing of his dark imaginings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. 
> 
> So Maggie has a really hard time in this chapter. It was tough writing it.   
> \- I will update the warnings but there is a lot of manhandling, unwanted touching and choking in this chapter. You can't really skip over it unfortunately. Its not sexual but its about dominance. I designed Metcalfe around Agent Nick/Casanova from Kiss the Girls. Its pathological behaviour. Its supposed to be unnerving. 
> 
> So you have been warned.

Maggie slid across the floor and slammed against the lab desk. Her side throbbed in stabbing pain but with shaky hands, she forced herself up. 

The blood pounded in her ears. Her heart thudded in her chest. Her hands shook. Her feet itched to run. Her vision disfigured, as if she were looking through a narrow fish-eye lens. She had to get away. She had to run. She had to hide. Maggie was caged, captured, cornered. 

She clutched the desk to keep her upright, her hands wrapped so tightly around its edge that they hurt. Breathing was hard. Really hard. Luckily the laboratories had their own backup generators. Facing Rumlow in the dark would have been another nightmare all together. 

Maggie’s chest grew tight as bile rose in her throat.  ‘Brock, tell me what you want? I can help you…’

Brock remained motionless, standing with his back to the door. He was tense. His arms behind his back, blue eyes resting on her but as if he was waiting for orders. 

Her judge. Her executioner?

She needed to think her way out of this. Bucky wasn’t here, no one was here. Maggie would be worse than dead if she didn’t think of something quickly. 

‘You can’t help Rumlow, Maggie, you can’t even help yourself.’ 

The voice made Maggie’s innards turn to stone, her heart froze in her chest. 

Henry Metcalfe stepped out of the shadows. His slender figure had once been beautiful. His narrow hips, sophisticated face and exquisitely tailored suits gave the impression of a roman statue sprung to life. His hair was a shock of red neatly parted to a side with flecks of silver at the temples. But his years in exile had cost him his beauty. Maggie could see under the charade. His skin looked like it was pulled tight and painful over his boney features, stretched into an approximation of a human face. His eyes were startling blue....

‘You’re shocked to see me.’ His voice was rich and deep, lilting with a Scottish accent. It was almost a purr. 

He caught hold of Maggie’s wrists, they had risen automatically as she tried to keep fighting, before drawing her close. Arms wrapping around her in an embrace that made Maggie’s skin crawl. 

‘There you go, easy now,’ he breathed against her face, as though he was comforting a frightened animal. 

Maggie tried to thrash but Metcalfe kicked her in the back of the knees and forced her down. They sank together to the ground in a tangle of limbs, he rocked her in his arms. It was a mockery of a lover's embrace. 

‘Shh,’ Metcalfe murmured- warned, Maggie didn’t know anymore. Every fibre of her body wanted to tear itself in every direction to get away, and yet she was rooted to the spot as her mind whirled. ‘I’m here now. You’ve run from me long enough but I’m here now, and I will never let you leave me again.’ 

His eyes were blue. They hadn’t been blue before. 

Maggie had treated Clint and Dr Solvieg after New York. She knew the effects of Loki’s sceptre and the Mind Stone. She knew that the stone now lay in Vision’s forehead but- Maggie barely dared to hope that Metcalfe’s mind was being manipulated. Puppets on a string. 

Through a swirl of sickening fears comes Bucky’s voice, casual and light.

_ (‘Find his weak spot-,’ Bucky’s hands rested on her shoulders as he moved her in front of the punching bag. ‘Use it against him.’  _

_ The wrappings felt rough on Maggie’s skin as Bucky’s hands lingered. He gave her a fierce look, his eyes glinted coldly. ‘Make sure they regret it.’)  _

Tell him what he wanted to hear. A controlled mind was easy to confuse.

‘I …’ Maggie tried to find her voice. ‘You’re alive.’

‘You thought I was dead?’ Metcalfe’s voice was breathless in her ear as his hands caressed her body, running soothing circles over her back and keeping a tight grip on the back of her neck. 

‘You’re letters stopped…’She forced herself to look at him, twisting in his arms. ‘I read them. Everyone.’ The tears in her eyes were real but the tenderness in her voice was a lie.

His eyes dilated. Spots of ink in arctic water. Manic. Cold. Possessive. Unbalanced. She couldn’t bear to see herself reflected in his gaze. Hideous, a warped, ugly thing of his dark imaginings. 

Maggie bowed her head demurely, her voice trembled slightly as she spoke.

‘I never realised how you felt for me, not truly. After Afghanistan I buried myself in work, we parted on bad terms because I was afraid to feel more because of my job…I hid in my work. Then I found out that SHIELD were intercepting your letters. But I see now that SHIELD were keeping them from me for a reason.’ 

Maggie hesitated as Metcalfe’s hand grabbed her jaw, ignited by her words. Maggie’s trembled, her hand scrambled to pull him away. ‘I realise I was scared before … of how completely I wanted to be yours.’ 

‘That's what I want. I want you. I need to own you.’ Metcalfe let out a shuddery sigh, closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against her. 

The dissonance between the creepiness of Metcalfe’s loving touch and Maggie’s building revulsion was jarring. Her body was splitting itself apart as it warred with her fight or flight response. 

‘Then let's go away, me and you. We’ll find somewhere to be yours. Only yours,’ Maggie spoke in a hushed voice. If she could lead him away from the Triskelion, she would put as much distance between Metcalfe and Bu...

‘Boss, the bitch is playing you,’ Rumlow growled in a low voice, stepping away from the doorway. 

Maggie felt his presence at her back but there was little she could do, still being pinned against Metcalfe’s arms on the floor. 

‘You are mine, you were always mine.’ Metcalfe whispered against her cheek, coiling Maggie’s ponytail around his hand like a rope. 

‘Colonel, we are running out of time. If the team return…’ Rumlow’s voice was hard and insistent. 

‘Always mine. You just didn’t know it-’ with a fierce tug, Metcalfe pulled Maggie’s head back and forced her to look at him. ‘But I need to pay for my share of the spoils…’ 

His gaze felt like a bear trap. ‘Henry?’ 

Metcalfe hauled her to her feet, spinning her in his arms but keeping his hand around her throat as he held her to his chest. ‘We struck a bargain. In return for my side of the deal, Thanos will give me what I want.. .’ 

_ This was it! _ A voice in Maggie’s voice cried out. Find out what the price was, find the loophole, find the way out of this waking nightmare...

‘What did you bargain, Henry?’ Maggie asked lightly, trying to keep her voice calm. 

She tried to ignore Rumlow but now that she was facing him she couldn’t help but notice his dead blue eyes boring into her own. He stood as still as a corpse; a vessel waiting to be filled with the orders of his master. 

Metcalfe forced her to look at him again. His nails dug into her skin. ‘I hand him humanity on a platter and-’ his eyes searched her face, resting on Maggie’s trembling lips. ‘... out of the ashes you will rule by my side.’ 

‘Please Henry,…’ No matter how hard she tried, Maggie couldn’t block out his words. 

‘I will present Thanos with a glorious army-’ Metcalfe gasped out each word as if it gave him exquisite pleasure. ‘Thanos will police his new galaxy with thousands of super soldiers carved from the Winter Soldier’s body! Vision and the lives of all Earth’s mighty heroes will end in one fall of the axe,’ Metcalfe paused and absently brushed a tear away from Maggie’s cheek. ‘And in return I get you. You should feel honoured.’ 

‘You needed Bucky to get the serum to work,’ Maggie gasped without thinking as the realisation dawned. 

Metcalfe’s eyes bulged as the muscles in his hands clenched around her throat, squeezing the air from Maggie’s lungs. ‘DON’T YOU DARE SAY HIS NAME!’ Metcalfe's wrath was apoplectic but as quickly as his anger flared it died away. Metcalfe let out a long sigh, appearing to calm himself. ‘Don’t you fucking dare say another man’s name.’ 

‘I’m... sorry...’ Maggie’s choked out, her vision beginning to swim. Only then did he loosen his grip, not entirely, he still kept some pressure on her windpipe as a lasting warning. 

‘Don’t worry, the _ Avengers _ are well in hand. My colleagues here have taken care of them by now.’ Metcalfe soothed, as if it was a trifling thing. ‘What I need from you Maggie, is your mind? Your beautiful mind...so full of secrets.’ 

Maggie forced her face to smile. ‘What do you want to know?’ 

‘I need to know the defence codes for SHIELDS atmospheric defense system.’ 

Maggie’s mouth went dry. ‘What makes you think I would know something like that?’ 

‘I see what you’re doing. You’re playing dumb….Patient confidentiality and all that.’ He chuckled breathily in her ear. ‘But people talk… and people talk to you, I know they do.’

‘I don’t know any code...’ Maggie knew it was coming and her muscles tensed as much as they could. The knowing doesn't soften the blow.

His hands constrict around her throat, the muscles flexing; not enough to suffocate, dancing on the edge of primal panic, gasping for air. The terror takes her not far away, but deep inside Maggie’s mind is in some primitive place that precedes death. Maggie’s vision is blotched with violent colours that move and merge without pattern or design. The wall of pain still cripples but Metcalfe’s face swims back into view. He’s smiling. 

‘No more lies, Maggie. I need those codes. Or you will force me to have my colleague here to extract them from you.’ Rumlow activates, stepping forward automatically, withdrawing a long blade from his belt. 

‘I thought you... wanted me alive?’ Maggie gasped out between restricted breathes. Her body twitched and struggled, her struggling weakly against Metcalfe’s choke hold as she scrambled to keep her tiptoes on the ground. 

‘Alive yes, but I didn’t say anything about being unharmed.’ 

The floor rises to meet her. She was gasping, retching, soothing her throat with her hands. Sucking in air like a fish. Her head felt like it was going to burst. 

Distantly, she heard Metcalfe speaking. Maggie forced herself to look up. 

Holographic screens showed confused, foggy images of corridors and rooms Maggie only dimly recognised. Over the pounding blood in her ears, gun fire rang out. 

‘Rumlow, extract the data from the hard drives. We’ll get the information from her back at base when she is feeling more talkative.’ 

‘I’ll radio for the jet to meet us at the landing zone.’ 

It was coming from the stairwell. 

Maggie had one last card to play. 

Her mind was eerily quiet now. There were no more tricks, no more games.  _ It was so simple _ , Maggie thought as her hand closed around the scissors she’d managed to keep hidden in her pocket. 

It wasn’t an ideal weapon, but thank god that she’d shoved them in the pocket of her scrubs after cutting Sam’s shirt. She held the blade open and at eye level, ready to bring it down as Rumlow extracted his gun and stepped towards her. 

Metcalfe spun in surprise but it was fleeting. ‘You’re not going to stab me, Maggie.’ A small smile played on the corner of his lips but it didn’t meet his eyes. 

‘No, I’m not.’ Maggie murmured, her voice hoarse, pushing the blade against her jugular as she smiled. ‘You underestimate me because you do not… will never understand what I will do for the people I love.’ 

**One ounce of pressure. Sever the carotid artery and the jugular vein. Unconscious in 3 minutes. Dead in 6.**

_ I won’t be used as a weapon.  _

‘They don’t deserve your love! I am trying to give you the world,’ Metcalfe hissed. He was unhinged, spit flew from his mouth, his nostrils flared. 

‘What would I do with a world of ash!’ Maggie’s expression was ablaze with anger. Her heart slammed, anger overtaking all pretence, teeth bared in a snarl. She had run out of fear.

‘But it would be ours. I would share you with no one else.’ Metcalfe pleaded, his feverish blue eyes searched her face as he reached towards her. 

The sound of approaching gunfire echoed off the walls. 

Maggie retreated as far as she could, till her back hit the far wall. ‘You don’t share me now, I was never yours to begin with.’ 

‘Colonel, Dr Isle is stalling. Let me…’ 

‘Go and guard the stairwell. Make sure we can get to the helicopter,’ Metcalfe growled at Rumlow, not taking eyes off Maggie. 

Rumlow hesitated, his eyes lingering on Maggie, before drawing his gun and leaving the door to the lab open. 

Metcalfe stepped closer. ‘Are you stalling Maggie? Do you think Captain America will come and save you? Or better yet, the rabid dog, Sergeant Barnes.’ Metcalfe spat out the name as if it was poison in his mouth. 

Maggie laughed, an edge of hysteria in her voice. ‘Yet again the jokes on you, Henry, because I love  **_Bucky_ ** Barnes more than you will ever know!’ 

Metcalfe couldn’t have looked more shocked if Maggie had sprouted another head. Maggie could just imagine the synapses in his brain, desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just causing a short circuit. He face was bugged eyed, demented. His slim body trembled with anger, loathing, frustration...Maggie couldn’t define it. 

Shouts rose from the stairwell. More gun fire. 

‘There…’ Metcalfe gasped out, as if a great understanding was dawning in his mind. ‘I see it now, destiny has played out. You are two pieces to my puzzle….’ he spoke feverishly, his hands reached to touch her again as Maggie pushed herself into the corner, all the while watching the doorway with the corner of her eye.  ‘ I knew it was destiny when he came to Washington to be with you. He is the price to be paid and the cost of loving him shall be for you to watch him die. Very slowly and very painfully.’ 

Footfalls now. Loud and pounding as they took the stairs two at a time. 

‘Christ, I wish you would shut up!’ Maggie swore, slashing the blade across his face. Blood spurted. He reeled back, screaming, as Maggie slashed again, his arms were up protecting his face as Maggie advanced. 

Lighting forked through the sky. 

Her head snapped to the right as his fist slammed into her jaw, her knees hit the floor. The scissors spun out of her hand as Metcalfe stamped on her hand. With his whole weight pressing down on her neck, Metcalfe knelt on her chest, blood splattered Maggie’s face as he leered down at her. 

Maggie clawed at his hands, his eyes, his mouth but nothing she did removed the dead weight pressing down on her. Her mouth falls open, a strangled scream leaving her as she uses the last of her energy to gasp for air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading. 
> 
> I should be updating the next chapter very shortly but in the mean time please comment, kudos and subscribe. I really like hearing from you and your comments keep me going.


	16. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky released the Winter Soldier from his mental cage without a second thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!
> 
> This chapter was so hard to write but boy! Am I glad how its turned out. 
> 
> You've probably already guessed but Canon divergence has happened....

Machine gun fire peeled through the air as their jet landed. RATATTATATAATAT….! Against its metal hull. 

‘Lets keep this tight. We don’t know what we’re running into. We were lucky to get out the compound alive, if Thor and his guys hadn’t had dropped in when they did-’ 

‘We’re not his guys. We’ve just met him actually- well, we rescued him…’ The blonde haired man, Starman..or something, spoke but Bucky was barely listening. 

No words sunk into his mind past the thrumming in his ears. He couldn’t shake the irritation or the building, itching desire to kill something. He could feel the Winter Soldier clawing at the bars of his cage, roaring with unmitigated rage. Possessive and dark, a voice growled in his head like a beast from the pit.  _ How dare they attack his home! His heart. If they hurt her, he would make them pa _ y...Bucky sucked in a steadying breath, trying to anchor himself.

The Winter Soldier was always present in some form or another. Bucky used to imagine that the Winter Soldier was a demon, riding his body, forcing him to relive his evil deeds. It felt a lot like possession. A presence came over him, a voice whispering in the back of his mind. It was animalistic, a relic of the life he lived as a predator. But with time, Maggie had come to help him accept that the Winter Soldier was a part of him just as much as his metal arm was. The Winter Soldier was possessive because he had everything taken from him; animalistic because that was how he had been treated, dangerous because that's what he needed to be to survive. 

The Winter Soldier stirred when a group of men had whistled at Maggie in the park. He’d gnashed his teeth when Stark had raised his voice in Maggie’s flat. Natasha had caught Steve off guard with a kick to the stomach, the Winter Soldier flexed his fists. Every time Bucky had managed to soothe him with deep breaths and memories of Maggie’s calming words. Maggie accepted the Winter Soldier for who he was. 

**‘** We’ve got hundreds of civilians on the ground and an unknown amount of hostiles…’ 

‘White Walkers,’ the boy, Peter Parker, supplied matter-of- factly. 

Steve huffed at the interruption. ‘Fine. An unknown number of White Walkers in the Triskelion. It looks like they’ve taken out the generator and locked down the main exits…’ A schematic of the Triskelion hovered in Steve’s hand as he spoke. Blood ran from a cut on his forehead but his voice was steady. ‘But Metcalfe is the mastermind in this. We’re not making the same mistake again. You see him, you kill him on sight.’ 

Bucky rose to his feet, locking in magazine into his machine gun. ‘He came here for Maggie. We find her, we find Metcalfe.’ Bucky’s voice was barely audible through his clenched teeth. 

‘Alright, ladies, let's bring the noise,’ Stark urged, slamming his helmet down over his face. 

RATATTATATAATAT…! 

Steve’s hand hesitated on the door release. ‘Thor, mind laying down a little lightning for us?’ 

‘It would be my pleasure, Captain.’ Thor smiled darkly as a clap of thunder crackled from above.

**

Using AR15s and 50 Cals, the White Walkers had barricaded the main entrances and exits, trapping the personnel inside. Everytime Steve struck one down, another rose in their place.

He didn’t have time for this! 

Luckily, Bucky knew how to access the service tunnels. 

With a snarl, Bucky tore the metal door off its hinges and tossed it aside. It was dark in Subsection 5 beta but he didn’t... 

Sparks flew as a bullet exploded by his head, Bucky recoiled and checked his mag. Half empty. Steve was on his six with the Rodent, Nat, Hill, the Tree and Scott Lang in the tunnel, waiting for the all clear. 

Another bullet exploded, embedding itself in the armour of a tank he was using for cover. 

‘Ms Maidstone, you may cease firing. The newcomers are Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes.’ Friday’s voice echoed around the garage. 

‘Thank god! ’ Hayley snapped from somewhere in the darkness. The lights flickered on, revealing the Aladdin’s cave of machinery. 

The Rodent gasped under his breath, his eyes roving in every direction. 

Hayley collided with Bucky, pulling him into a tight hug. ‘It's about time you showed up,’ Hayley chided but he could hear heavy relief in her voice. 

‘How have you managed to get Friday running? The power has been cut across the entire site,’ Steve asked, holstering his weapon. 

‘Straight to the point. I like a direct man, Mr Rogers,’ Hayley gushed, blushing slightly, gesturing for them to follow as she jumped on to her stool and wheeled over to her work bench. 

Large holograms showed live 3D images of the ER and main reception. 

‘I booted up the engine of a F22 and hooked the power up to the internal systems. Friday is my eyes and ears but I’ve only got enough power for the AI, electricity in the ER and communications with Wilson. I should have more but they're blocking me somehow.’ Hayley pointed at the image on the right. It showed desks and chairs barricading the main doors of the ER. 

‘You could reset the system using an EMP, knock out whatever they're using to throttle the generator,’ the Rodent commented as he shifted through a box of tools.

‘I don’t mean to be rude but…’ Hayley hesitated, her eyes hovering in the animal’s general direction. ‘I’m blind, right-’ she shrugged, ‘...you smell really strange and you’re tiny. What the hell are you guys?’ 

‘I’m Rocket and this is Groot, that's all you need to know, Sweetcheeks,’ Rocket huffed, his arms crossing over his chest. 

‘Just wanted to clarify.’ Hayley tossed him a pair of welding goggles. ‘If you think you can build me an EMP big enough, I don’t care if your a flying fucking unicorn. Go nuts, pal.’ 

We don’t have time for this! Bucky wanted to snarl, rage, break things! His chest rose and fell rapidly. He ground his teeth together until his jaw ached. 

_ The hinges of the Winter Soldier’s cage creaked as he gripped the bars _ . 

With a glance at his friend, Steve stepped up to the workbench. ‘Friday, patch me through to Sam, please.’ 

Friday complied immediately.

‘ _ I suggest you put down your guns, now! Pipes carrying pure oxygen run along every corridor in the ER. One stray bullet will blow us all to kingdom come!’ _ Sam’s voice rang out through the garage. On the hologram they could see Wilson shouting over the barricade, gun in his hand, tension on his face. 

‘Wilson, good to see you're still alive.’ 

Sam gaped, looking up at the camera in the corner of the ER. ‘ _ Cap _ ?’ 

‘You hurt?’ 

‘ _ Not really. Maggie patched me up before we went dark... _ ’

‘Where is she?’ Bucky sounded barely human. 

Sam’s body seemed to sag slightly. ‘  _ I wish I knew, Barnes. She was called up to Level 6 just before the power outage _ .’ 

Automatically, Friday’s read outs flickered, showing them Banner’s lab instead. ‘I have located Dr Isle.’ 

The picture was fuzzy, it jumped and blurred but Bucky could still make out Maggie’s face. Her eyes wide with fear but steady with steely determination. 

‘She’s gonna kill herself,’ Steve breathed.

It was then that Bucky saw the blade. She held the scissors so tightly blood was running down her arm. The sight of her blood, Metcalfe’s leering face, the dread in Maggie’s eyes, the tension coiling her body… 

‘I have patched through the sound.’ 

Metcalfe took a step closer to Maggie. The fingers of his outstretched hand twitched he sought to touch her. _ ‘Are you stalling Maggie? Do you think Captain America will come and save you? Or better yet, the rabid dog, Sergeant Barnes.’  _ Metcalfe’s lips pulled over his teeth. __

Maggie laughed, it was bitter and high. There was no warmth in it.  _ ‘Yet again the jokes on you, Henry, because I love  _ **_Bucky_ ** _ Barnes more than you will ever know!’  _

_ Bucky released the Winter Soldier from his mental cage without a second thought.  _

The words echoed around the garage but the Winter Soldier’s step didn’t falter. His metal arm sank into the doors of the elevator and hauled them aside. Dimly, he was aware of Captain America giving orders to the other combatants as Bucky latched on to the rope wire that ran up the elevator shaft. 

Hand over hand, the Winter Soldier dragged himself up the levels of the Triskelion. 

‘Bucky! You need to stop and think about this…’ Captain America had followed, 100 metres below, the soldier called after him. 

He wasn’t important. He wasn’t a threat. Winter Soldier’s orders were to….No, not his orders. He didn’t have a headache or a dull pain at the bottom of his neck, none of the usual symptoms of being given a new directive, but he did have a mission. He felt it in his bones in the same way he knew his heart was still beating. 

_ (Maggie laughed as she heaved Matt up, swinging him on her arm as they played in the snow.)  _

_ (‘That was so unprofessional of me,’ Maggie giggled as the elevator doors shut.)  _

_ (‘...the content of psychosis has changed in the last ten years from religious delusions to social media-,’ Maggie paced as she spoke into her phone.  _

_ Something hit the side of his head, there was a ball of socks sitting in his lap. Maggie winked cheekily, sticking her tongue out at him as she continued her lecture.)  _

_ (‘Steve, you look dead on your feet. Come and take a load off, let me make you something…) _

‘Bucky!’ Captain America called again. 

He stopped climbing. ‘I need her.’ 

Steve’s voice echoed desperately around the elevator shaft. ‘I know you do, Buck but she wouldn’t thank you for getting yourself killed.’ 

_ My death would be a small price to pay,  _ Bucky sighed. The Winter Soldier nodded in agreement. 

The Captain drew level with him as he clung to the side of the shaft, climbing up a long set of metal ladders that the Winter Soldier hadn’t noticed. 

_ Out of practice.Quicker route. Reserve Energy. Extract Doctor. Kill anyone who gets in my way.  _

‘You heard what she said.’ The Captain was speaking, his eyes searched the Winter Soldier’s face. 

Sergeant Barnes resurfaced, wavering like a hand on the Winter Soldier’s shoulder. ‘Doesn’t matter now, Steve.’ 

‘Like hell it doesn’t, I know you better than anyone. You’ve been in love with her for months, Buck,’ Steve shouted in frustration, punching the side of the elevator shaft- it clanged ominously. 

‘It won’t matter if she’s dead!’ The Winter Soldier and Sergeant Barnes snarled as one. 

Suddenly, high above them, chains and cogs began to whirl and click. The bottom of the elevator plunged to meet them. 

The Winter Soldier swung on the rope wire, gripping the door ledge with his metal hand, reaching out for Captain America with the other. With the Captain beside him, they forced the elevator doors open and scrambled through just as the machine hurtled past. 

Captain America had barely straightened when the Winter Soldier set off again, sprinting for the stairwell. They had come out on Level 4. The administration floor. 

‘Buck!’ Captain America cried out in alarm as the fire door to the stairwell riddled with bullet holes. 

15 holes. 3 combatants, possibly more. Armour piercing rounds. 

Captain America flattened himself against the wall by the Winter Soldier’s side. ‘How many bullets you got left?’ 

‘13.’

A noise from the stairwell. Together, they both stilled and listened as more pairs of feet joined the 3 combatants already in position. 

8 combatants. 

_ You’re taking too long! _ Sergeant Barnes demanded as he paced within the halls of his own mind. 

_ The Jakarta mission? _

‘ _ Fine _ ,’ Barnes replied hotly. 

‘Fine,’ the Winter Soldier said out loud, securing his gun across his shoulders. Retreating a few yards down back the hall, he dropped into a low stance. ‘Stay on my six.’ 

Steve huffed and checked the bullet in the chamber. ‘Till the end of the line.’ 

He hesitated before they replied softly. ‘Till the end of the line.’ 

With the force of a freight train, the Winter Soldier barreled into the fire door, its hinges exploded and plaster dust filled the air. Battering ram braced against his shoulders, he charged up the stairs, crushing two men against the wall. Steve was tucked into his side, firing down the stairs to the next level Groaning, Winter Soldier hefted the door up and hurled it with all his might. Two more men screamed as they fell. 

Four confirmed kills. 

The Winter Soldier withdrew his gun from his shoulder. Head shot, kidney, throat- JAM! His gun stuttered, failing to push the last bullet into the chamber. 

The White Walker raised his gun to his shoulder and fired wildly but the Winter Soldier was too fast. 

He breathed deeply, tasting the air. 

The gun fired. The Winter Soldier caught the bullet with his outstretched hand, jabbed, pressed the hot bullet casing into the man’s face. He reeled back screaming. The Winter Soldier advanced, knocking the man out with a back handed flick of the wrist. 

Two floors below a door was flung open, shouts and feet began to pour into the stairwell. 

‘Bucky, I’ll cover you. Get to Maggie!’

The Winter Soldier hesitated as he passed Steve the dead man’s machine gun.

Steve grasped his shoulder and gave him a firm push. ‘I’ll be fine. Just go.’

Twelve steps. Two security doors. 

_ Faster! _ Sergeant Barnes urged desperately, slamming his fists against the walls of their mind. 

Something collided with his face. Catching the side of his jaw, his body spun. The Winter Soldier rolled, bracing his metal arm on the floor as he caught himself. 

Rumlow advanced quickly, his stride confidently, his blues eyes cold. He brought his heavy boots up towards the Soldier’s face. He barely had time to parry when  Rumlow threw his body weight behind the fist, it hit his jaw with such force blood pooled into his mouth. Pain erupted from the point of impact. 

_ Out of practice. _

The Winter Soldier repelled off the wall, gaining momentum as he threw himself through the air, grabbing Rumlow’s head and slamming his knee cap up to the man’s nose. 

A blunt crack. Gush of blood. 

Rumlow scrambled, his fists flying into the Soldier’s gut, chest and ribs but the metal hand whirled as his grip tightened. A glint of a knife, Rumlow snarled as he forced it between the metal plates on the Soldier’s arm. 

Momentarily, his hold on Rumlow loosened but that was all the opening the man needed. Twisting his body, Rumlow jabbed the knife again. 

Barnes and the Winter Soldier cried out as one as the knife pierced his flesh once- twice- three times. They staggered as his torso contracted in agony. He forced himself to keep moving. 

They fell to the floor as Soldier’s legs locked around Rumlow, grabbing his wrist, pulling with all his might until the joint popped. Rumlow snarled in pain, elbowing the Soldier in his wounds. 

Just as the Soldier’s vision started to blur, Maggie’s scream cut through the air. 

It felt like a scalpel running across his skin. Electricity running up his spine. Shattering glass in a quiet room.

Rumlow chuckled, spitting blood on the floor. ‘I would have kept her alive, you know. But now I think I’ll kill her. Only when Metcalfe is finished with her, of cour...’ 

He didn’t get to finish his sentence. 

The Winter Soldier had crossed the hall and snapped Rumlow’s neck before the smile had a chance to slide off his face. 

He stepped over Rumlow’s body without a moment's pause. 

**

The door flew off its hinges and across the lab. Bucky stepped inside slowly, his hands either side of his head.  Desks and laboratory equipment lay shattered and broken, papers littered the floor but Bucky saw none of this. The large window that overlooked the compound flashed and sparked with Thor’s lighting. Out there the battle raged but as if looking down a long tunnel, all Bucky saw was Maggie. 

Metcalfe had his elbow tightly around her neck and his arm around her chest pinning her to him. Her throat, mouth and chest were sore and abused, Bucky could see angry welts beginning to rise on her pale skin where her scrubs had been torn across the shoulder. 

If it wasn’t for her fluttering heartbeat, Bucky would have thought she was dead- lifeless, taken from the world, no light...but no, she was still here. Still his. 

‘So glad I could finally meet you, Sergeant Barnes,’ Metcalfe commented lightly as Bucky stepped in the room. He purposefully shifted Maggie so that her face was pressed against the side of his cheek. 

A red film covered Bucky’s eyes, his lips pulled back over his teeth. 

Metcalfe’s smile got broader. ‘Ah ah! I’ll snap her neck if you come one step closer. **’**

_ You must take over _ , the Winter Soldier had sighed sadly as Rumlow’s body fell to the ground.  _ This mission is delicate, Brother. I cannot be delicate. It is not in my nature. _

Sergeant Barnes hesitated,  _ what if I can’t do this alone?-  _ he asked, but the Winter Soldier was silent and watchful. 

Bucky tried to take in a calming breath as his hands fell to his side. ‘You obviously want to talk, so let’s talk.’

Metcalfe tutted. ‘Far too impatient. Where is the civility these days?’ 

‘The fact the I haven’t killed you with my bare hands seems pretty fucking civil to me considering you are holding a women hostage,’ Bucky retorted icily. 

Metcalfe sucked in a breath. This had touched a nerve. ‘She’s not my hostage. She was mine to begin with. I’ve done my bargaining, now it is time for you to beg.’ 

Bucky was barely keeping himself from lashing out. What he planned to do with Henry Metcalfe would make the Winter Soldier pale. Angling his body, so his flesh hand was obscured, Bucky dared to edge closer, keeping his gaze locked on Metcalfe’s. His finger tapped his thigh. 

. -..- - .-. .- -.-. - .. --- -. / -. . . -.. . -.. .-.-.- / -. --- .-. - .... / ... .. -.. . .-.-.- / .- .. .-. -... --- .-. -. . .-.-.- / ..--- / -- .. -. ..- - . ... .-.-.-

‘What do you want?’ 

Metcalfe shifted Maggie in his arms as he retrieved something from his pocket and tossed it. Bucky caught it deftly in his hand. 

It looked like a microchip but it had a sinister glint to it, vaguely alien. Three sharp pincers lined up on its base, opening and closing as if they wanted to grasp onto something. 

‘What is it?’ Bucky asked tightly. 

‘It's a neurological damper-’ Metcalfe smirked at the confusion on Bucky’s face, ‘- it will make you compliant.’ 

Something feral rose to life in his chest. ‘I do not comply anymore,’ Bucky growled, low and deep, through clenched teeth. 

In the game of chess Bucky found himself playing, he realised he had left his queen vulnerable. The trap was set. 

‘You know, Maggie cried out for you. My affection scares her, she gave me no other option but to hunt her- hurt her….’

Metcalfe’s eyes narrowed as he gasped Maggie’s jaw and forced her head round so that Bucky could see her unconscious face. 

‘She begged me not to hurt you. She begged beautifully. Told me she loved you more than heaven and earth and all the stars put together-’ he pressed his face against the crook of her neck and took a deep breath, taunting him. With a flutter of his fingers another microchip appeared in his hands. ‘I’ll make her do it again. I’ll make her do everything I order… and she will comply.’ 

Impotent rage filled Bucky’s body like he was being plunged into freezing water. 

‘So that’s your price-’ his mouth was dry, his stomach churned with nausea. ‘Either I comply or she does.’ 

‘Its Thanos’ price but don’t fret.’ Metcalfe huffed with amusement, ‘Even without the chip, I shall keep her safe and warm…’

‘Enough!’ Bucky couldn’t think with Metcalfe’s voice droning on; he couldn’t stand to see his hands on Maggie, his skin on her skin, what he would make her do… Bucky swallowed thickly. ‘You have a deal but I have one condition. I need to know you haven’t hurt Maggie, I need to know that when she wakes up she’ll be okay.’ 

‘I thought you might.’ Metcalfe smirked knowingly and pressed the microchip to Maggie’s temple. 

Bucky started forward with a snarl. 

‘I wont activate it if you behave like a good dog,’ Metcalfe reassured, as he laid Maggie on the ground in the No Man’s Land that lay between the two of them. ‘Insurance policy, you understand.’ 

Bucky eyed Metcalfe as he edged forward, he didn’t want to give the vermin any advantage. His hands trembled as he reached for her. Her body felt alarmingly warm as he pulled her into his arms, cradling Maggie to his chest. 

_ Dear God, please let her be okay… _

‘She’s such a small little thing, isn’t she? So fragile,’ Metcalfe goaded. 

_ Bastard!  _ He was enjoying Bucky’s despair. 

_ Calm yourself _ , the Winter Soldier’s voice rose up from the darkness of his mind.  _ Stick to the mission.  _

Bucky smoothed the hair from her face and ran his hands over her, checking for injuries. Her left palm was sliced open, her cheekbone was starting to swell, her throat would be black and blue but apart from that he couldn’t tell. 

‘Maggie, can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes,’ Bucky whispered desperately. ‘ Please, sugar, I need to know you're okay. Please, please...’

Bucky closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. It was as if the world fell away, leaving the two of them on their own island.

‘Buck…’ Maggie rasped, her voice full of pain and sandpaper. 

To Bucky it was the sweetest sound in all the world. ‘Maggie-’ he choked out, a tear fell on Maggie’s cheek, he didn’t brush it away. He wouldn’t let her go. 

Maggie’s irises trembled, wide and fearful, she searched his face. Unsteadily, her fingers reached out to touch his face. ‘Run,’ she breathed. 

Bucky took her hand, turning it over to kiss the injured palm, before pressing it to his heart. ‘Don’t worry. You’ll be safe soon.’ He scooped her body into his arms, holding her close as he rose to his full height. 

Metcalfe looked incandescently happy. He bounced on the balls of his feet as if it were Christmas morning. He smiled like a hyena scenting blood. ‘Satisfied?’ 

‘Not quite.’ Bucky retorted just as the electrics exploded. 

Sparks flew about the room like wild fireworks. Computers exploded, digital screens cracked. 

Bucky moved faster than he thought possible as he hurled his body out the glass window, shattering it into a million tiny pieces as the EMP blast encompassed the compound. He twisted in mid air, sheltering Maggie with his body- Just in time to see Thor, in all his godly vengeance, bellowing with rage, send a blazing lightning bolt through the empty window. 

Metcalfe’s screams were cut short as his bones turned to ash. 

The air was knocked out of Bucky’s lungs as strong arms latched on, halting their fall. 

‘Jesus Barnes!’ Wilson groaned, adding extra power to his jets. ‘What have you been eating? Rocks!’ 

‘Cut it any closer and you’d be scraping us off the parking lot!’ Bucky snapped back but there was no anger in his voice.

With help from Vision, Sam lowered them to the ground. 

As soon as Bucky’s feet hit Terra, his knees buckled and he dropped ungainly to the floor. Carefully, he set Maggie down.

Blood! 

For a terrifying instant Bucky thought that Maggie was bleeding, her stomach was smeared with scarlet. Slumping by her side, he dimly began to register the pain suddenly roaring to life in his torso. 

The stab wounds.  _ Oh, right… _

‘Dude, you don’t look so good,’ Sam murmured under his breath, before speaking into his communicator in an urgent voice, ‘we’re going to need two gurneys on the north side…Barnes is down. Get anyone you can. ASAP!’

Bucky’s attention snapped to Maggie as she began to push herself up. Shakily, she got to her feet, her body was rigid as she turned to face him. 

Her eyes were icy blue.

‘Sergeant Barnes, I have a message for you from Thanos.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO...  
> -Yes, we will be meeting the Winter Soldier again but all in good time.  
> \- Maggie doesn't know that the cat is out of the bag so to speak. So, if she overcomes the mind control chip, she'll have to deal with the ramifications of that or maybe not...  
> \- Also please note that we now have an the number of chapters... we are approaching the last chapters.   
> \- Also if you are wondering about the Morse code that Bucky was tapping out for the CCTV cameras- 'Extraction needed. North side. Airborne. 2 minutes.' 
> 
> I would love to know what you thinks going to happen- Kudos, comment and subscribe. 
> 
> p.s. I especially put in more Thor than I had planned because eileenalone mentioned him X


	17. The Snap- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And yet, the growing pain in her chest didn’t throb when she thought about Rumlow’s gun in her mouth or Metcalfe’s hands on her neck. It was when she saw that Bucky’s bed hadn't been slept in or how Wanda would avoid her eyes in the corridor that a pain billowed, trying to force its way up her throat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of tears in this chapter. Mostly from me when I was writing it. Its not a happy chapter. Maggie and Bucky have a fight, which is mainly Bucky's doing because...well, you'll find out. And everyone is avoiding her because the know about the elephant in the room and don't want to let anything slip. 
> 
> But don't worry! There will be a happy ending.

It wasn’t for the first time that day that Maggie wondered how she had ended up sitting in a crowded cargo plane. 

Somewhere along her journey she must have taken a wrong turn. Was it when she’d moved to America? No, getting away from Henry Metcalfe had been good for her. Everything he touched was poison. 

Had it been when she had joined the army to be a doctor? Again, she didn’t think so. She enjoyed helping soldiers. They were some of the most deserving, unrepresented trauma victims. Anything she could do to help them she would. 

No, Maggie couldn’t help but think whatever had gone wrong had happened recently. Kidnapped, tortured, mind controlled, alien invasion….Things certainly had been stacking up lately. 

It was the reason she sat on her own, her head resting on her knee while the people she considered to be her friends avoided her eyes. 

**

Whatever they had given her, the drugs had been strong. Her sight was fuzzy when Maggie first opened her eyes, vaguely she looked down at her body covered by a white hospital blanket to check if it was still there; her body felt like it was weighed down with lead. 

‘Hey, look who’s back in the land of the living,’ Sam Wilson smiled, pulling his chair closer. 

Maggie tried to say his name but all that came out of her mouth was a harsh croak. 

Sam frowned and offered her a glass of water, which he held while she drank from a straw. 

The icy liquid felt like bliss on her raw throat. 

‘Yeah, Dr Maya said you wouldn’t be singing in church for a while since that ass-hole nearly crushed your windpipe but she did promise there shouldn't be any lasting damage.’ 

Maggie smiled and then winced. Tentatively her fingers touched the bruise on her cheek, and for the first time she saw the stitches on her palm. Memories began to assault her like a sickening wave. Her fingers brushed over the three pin pricks that scarred her temple where the microchip had embedded itself into her skin. She couldn’t remember anything after that. 

‘Di..Did I ..’ She struggled. 

‘Did you hurt anyone?’ Sam sighed as he set the now empty glass down. He hesitated. ‘That's not really for me to answer. We were all pretty shaken up when we brought you in, kicking and screaming like something from the exorcist. You said some bat shit crazy things which I know spooked a lot of people. Stark had to zap you to knock you out....’

Despite the pain, Maggie pulled herself up in bed. ‘How ar…’ 

‘I’ll be fine. Dr Hendricks from Washington General said that your stitches were very neat. Bucky was much worse…’

‘Bu...cky..w-’ Maggie coughed, making her eyes sting in pain. 

‘Don’t worry, he bounced back after a few hours of rest. Damn super soldiers. He was in the bed next to yours, could have stayed for a few more days according to the doctor but he wanted out. Buck, asked me to watch you though…’

Maggie cocked her eyebrow questioningly.  _ Bucky had left her? _

Sam shrugged. ‘I don’t know why, the mans got a lot to do.’ Sam leaned back in his chair, sighing theatrically. ‘Not that I mind getting waited on hand and foot by all these pretty nurses.’ 

By the next evening Maggie had had enough of laying around in bed. 

They’d obviously given her the good stuff because even though it still hurt for her to talk and she was black and blue, at least she could choke out a few sentences. She sounded like a ninety year old woman but it was better than having Sam ‘translate’ for her. Which on multiple occasions led to him asking for a bed bath. 

‘That everything?’ He asked, as they gathered up her belongings. 

Demmie had stopped by with a clean change of clothes, Maggie’s favourite pillow from her apartment and a very large box of chocolates. Which as much as she tried, Maggie couldn’t eat yet. Apart from Demmie and Sam, Maggie hadn’t seen anyone, not even Bucky. Especially not Bucky. 

She’d had been sent two dozen red tulips that had appeared on her bedside table while she was asleep. There was no note attached, Sam had been chatting up Nurse Baughs at the coffee station, so Maggie presumed it had been lost in transit.

She held the glass vase close to her chest in an attempt to hide her bruises from prying eyes, she hadn’t managed to get her hands on a scarf, as they rode the elevator up to her apartment. 

The elevator chimed at level three, the doors opened to reveal Steve, Nat and Clint waiting on the other side. Steve plastered a smile on his face that was a little too bright, Nat’s lips pursed together.

Something heavy dropped in Maggie’s chest. 

It was only Clint who seemed genuinely happy to see her, smiling at her sympathetically. Maggie suspected that the archer could relate to her more now that she had joined the ‘mind controlled’ club. 

‘Look at that shiner!’ Clint grinned good naturedly as he peered at Maggie’s black eye. ‘You should put a steak on that to help the swelling go down.’ 

Maggie gave him a lop-sided grin, trying not to move her cheek too much. ‘I’m pretty sure that’s an old wives tale,’ Maggie replied as the elevator doors shut. 

An awkward silence fell. Sam cleared his throat. Maggie found herself tapping the side of her leg. 

‘Steve, have you seen Buc-’

‘Nice flowers, who…’ Maggie and Nat interrupted one another. What followed was the lame, ‘you go first,’, ‘no, you go.’ 

‘I was just asking who the flowers were from?’ Nat smiled, leaning in to smell one of the tulips. ‘Did you get a card?’

Maggie couldn’t put her finger on it but there was something wrong with Natasha’s smile that made her feel uneasy. She glanced up at Steve, who still wore a fixed grin. It was making him look like a Ken Doll. 

‘Hold on a minute,’ Maggie said slowly, looking from Steve to Nate and Clint. ‘This is about the dating pool, isn’t it?’ 

Steve made a desperate choking sound as he tried to come up with something to say and Maggie scoffed despite it hurting her throat. She held her hands up. 

‘I don’t want to know. As far as I’m concerned, they are just flowers,’ Maggie sighed with exasperation. 

Nate’s mouth twitched again and she stepped closer to Maggie’s side. ‘Do you know what sending someone red tulips means?’

‘Probably that someone knows I like red tulips,’ Maggie retorted sarcastically. 

Nate opened her mouth to speak again but Steve was already pressing the open door button and shooing them out, without so much as a goodbye, even though they still had six more floors to go. 

The elevator doors closed behind them. 

‘Was it me, or was that really awkward?’ Maggie asked, giving Sam a sidelong glance. 

‘Nope. It was definitely awkward.’ 

The sinking feeling in Maggie’s belly grew. 

Rationally, she knew that she wasn’t at fault for her actions when she was under control of the microchip. If only she could remember what she’d done! Then maybe she could start making amends for whatever she had said or done that had obviously upset people. 

Worse still, Bucky’s absence was making her chest ache that had nothing to do with her bruises. Regardless of how she felt about him, this was the longest they’d been apart since she’d agreed to be his sponsor. 

Cold dread began to grow in her stomach. 

***

Maggie was late to the briefing on purpose. She didn’t want to give anyone an excuse to avoid her again. 

It had been two days since she had left the hospital ward. Maggie was desperately trying to catch up with work that had piled up since her absence. What with being away in Utah for a week and then the attack on the Triskelion, Maggie’s inbox was overflowing with referrals. 

Not that she minded, not one bit. In fact she liked the work, Maggie tore through it, surging from one medical journal to a psychological evaluation, long into the night. The work kept her busy and her mind from wandering.

She knew it was an evasion tactic. Stalling, the intrusive memories that were plaguing her when she let her mind relax. 

Metcalfe’s brutality, his anger, his pathological need to dominate. Maggie had understood his behaviour. It was part of his psychological profile. She put it in a box and stored it away. 

And yet, the growing pain in her chest didn’t throb when she thought about Rumlow’s gun in her mouth or Metcalfe’s hands on her neck. It was when she saw that Bucky’s bed hadn't been slept in or how Wanda would avoid her eyes in the corridor that a pain billowed, trying to force its way up her throat. 

Maggie felt adrift, unmoored by the sudden feeling of abandonment... _ No! Don’t think about it, finish this risk assessment and then move on to the expense reports.  _

The lights were off in the conference room as Maggie closed the door behind her. As Director Fury stood talking in front of a large projector screen, Maggie edged through the rows to find a free seat. Luckily she had a chunky scarf and had used two tubes of concealer to help cover her bruises. 

The conference room was over crowded with new team members, though she could only make out a few faces in the darkness. It was like her first day in high school all over again. The Guardians were the ‘popular kids’ whispering amongst themselves at the back, Dr Strange seemed to be taking extensive notes, while Nat and Clint were busy looking something up on their phones. 

‘King T’Challa has offered Wakanda as a defensive position against Thanos’ forces. With Vision and possibly Sergeant Barnes as his main targets, we’ll need to hold the Wakandan citadel at all costs. I am confident…’ 

Maggie had already heard Fury’s pep talk. Apart from Sam and Demmie, Fury had been the only one to come and visit her once she was out of hospital. 

‘Dr Isle will lead SHIELD Medical staff on the ground alongside Shuri’s team. I ...’

‘No, she won’t.’ 

Maggie’s head snapped around so fast her neck twinged. 

The lights flickered on with a flick of Fury’s wrist. ‘You wish to say something Sergeant Barnes?’ 

‘Maggie’s not going to Wakanada.’ He demanded flatly, a hard edge in his voice. 

Bucky was sitting in the far corner of the conference room, with his back to the wall. His hair fell in his face as he spoke to Fury, not even bothering to glance in Maggie’s direction. 

Steve shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. ‘Bucky, I don’t think now is the...’ He tried to intercede. 

The pain in Maggie’s chest burned hot suddenly, billowing into something that seared with anger. She braced her hands on the conference table. ‘Maggie  _ is _ going to Wakanda,’ Maggie reiterated, emphasizing each word so hard that her lip curled. 

It was only then that Bucky that turned his eyes on her face. They were cold and flinty. ‘You really think that's the best idea…’ His voice heavy with sarcasm

Maggie was on her feet before she really knew what she was doing. ‘Please excuse us, Director, Sergeant Barnes and myself need a little chat outside.’ 

Maggie waited for the door to close behind them before whirling to face Bucky. He kept his back to hers, his shoulders hunched and his hands in his pockets. 

If the churning anxiety monster in Maggie’s belly hadn't been squirming, she would have seen the tension in his shoulders and the way his jaw clenched in determination. But instead all she saw was her best friend, the man she loved, who had abandoned her when she’d needed him. 

‘What the hell are you playing at?’ She hissed. She hadn't seen him in days and this was the first thing out of his mouth! She hadn't even had a chance to thank him for saving her and now he was acting like a domineering jerk! It made her head spin.

Innocuously, Tony pressed a button on the presentation consul that made the glass wall semi transparent. Everyone present in the conference room had a front row seat as Maggie and Bucky squared off in the hallway outside. 

Steve protested but it was quickly overruled by the majority. Even Fury perched on the end of the conference table while Nat quickly summarised the drama for the new recruits. 

‘She likes him, he likes her. He found out that she likes him but she doesn’t know that he knows. Neither of them will say anything because she’s really fastidious and he’s emotionally constipated. And we all know but he’s sworn us to secrecy on pain of death... and we’ve got a bet going to see who will let slip first. At the moment, it's 5/1 that Bucky cracks.’ 

Bucky didn’t turn to her, instead he kept his head tilted to the floor. ‘You’re just out of the hospital, Maggie.’ There was a hard edge to his voice that she couldn’t place. 

‘I can still work with a few bruises, I have done before!’ Maggie protested, as she stepped around to stand in front of him, her hands on her hips. ‘This is bigger than that, Bucky. Literally, the whole universe is at stake.’ 

Bucky finally looked up. Steely blue eyes met hers, a muscle in his jaw jumped. ‘You’re not going. I won’t let you.’

Inside the conference room, Steve winced. ‘Yikes! That was the wrong thing to say.’

‘You won't let me?!’ Maggie echoed incredulously. She shook her head as if she’d misheard. Every second Bucky stood in front of he refusing to let her in; keeping her at arm's length, 

Bucky let out a harsh breath through his nose. He looked away shaking his head, biting his lips as if to keep himself from saying something. Bucky’s stance altered suddenly, a cocky facade fell over him, his mouth twisting into a thin line. ‘Yeah, that's what I said, dollface,’ Bucky retorted sarcastically, slurred with bitterness. 

_ Dollface _ !

‘Don’t call me dollface!’ Maggie gasped in anger, a knee jerk reaction.

She struggled for words, her mouth opened and closing as she sorted through her warring emotion. Betrayal, anger; a gnawing pain in her chest of hopelessness. 

‘What gives you the right to think you can order me to do anything? Am I not a medically trained doctor? Have I not proven myself capable enough of working in high stress situations?’ Maggie reeled off defensively, drawing herself up to her full height. 

Bucky didn’t say anything. He worked his jaw, his rigid neck, as he tried to turn away from her, Maggie's arm shot out and she forced him to look at her. 

‘I was not being rhetorical, James Barnes. Yes or no?’ She commanded forcefully. 

‘Yes,’ Bucky ground out, not meeting her eyes, his hair hiding his face. 

‘Then your argument is based on what exactly?-’ Maggie looked round theatrically as if to pluck the answer from thin air. ‘That I’m your friend…?’ 

‘War zones are not meant for quacks, dollface.’ 

She felt like she’d been slapped. She felt the earth under her feet shift slightly. 

‘Why are you being like this?’ Maggie heard herself murmur after a heartbeat of silence. ‘Have I done something to upset you?’ She asked, trying to reach out for his metal arm. 

Bucky recoiled from her touch as if burned. 

‘Come on man, just tell her you want to get married and have lots of babies and live…He can’t hear us right?’ Sam asked abruptly. 

‘Special glass,’ Tony murmured, pouring himself another martini. 

Bucky looked down at his shoes. ‘Look, I’m just telling it like it is, okay. Everyone in there is thinking it, I’m just saying it, ’ he muttered tightly. 

Maggie shook her head, unconsciously she laid her hands over her heart. ‘You’re acting like a whole different person, like you’re trying to push me away?’ 

Something broke in Bucky. Shattering. 

He pushed his face close to hers, his lips barely moving as he ground out the hateful words. ‘Maybe I don’t need you as my sponsor anymore, have you thought of that? I’m the one looking after you all the time!’

Maggie froze. ‘Do you really mean that?’ 

Bucky didn’t say anything. 

Her hands fell to her side, coiling into tight fists to stop them from trembling. 

‘If that's what you want, fine.’ Maggie laughed bitterly, ‘but now I’m not your sponsor, you have even less say in how I live my life, so I guess I’ll see you Wakanda, Sergeant Barnes.’ 

Maggie turned on her heel. She couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t mask the pain that was raging through her. 

‘You’re such a stubborn pill, you know that!’ Bucky called after her. 

‘Takes one to know one, _ dollface _ ,’ Maggie retorted coldly as she pushed back into the conference room.

‘Anyone else got a problem with me?’ 

No one dared say a word. 

**

The plane rolled and pitched with turbulence. 

This wasn’t the first time Maggie had been on a mission. When she was in Afghanistan, she’d acted as a medic a number of times when they had been short of personnel. Flying in the back on a Chinook surrounded by laughing, joking faces had always been exhilarating. And yet now, surrounded by people who Maggie had worked with for the past five years, no one was smiling.

Since Fury’s briefing and her argument with Bucky, Maggie had redoubled her efforts to distract herself. She took it upon herself to organise the strategic nightmare that was re-homing the entire ER and all available medical staff to Africa. 

Once word got out how high the stakes were, Maggie hadn’t been short of volunteers and yet she couldn’t bring herself to accept any staff members who had families. 

They should be near their families when the time comes. 

Chancing a look down the plane, Maggie saw Nat fast asleep with her head resting on Clint’s shoulder. Hill and Fury were deep in conversation as they looked over a datapad. Even Rocket had some soft relationship with Groot. Pointedly, she didn’t look at the dark haired man sitting on Steve’s left. 

Maggie had Dan and the kids. And she thought she’d had Bucky. 

She impatiently scrubbed her hand over her face and gave herself a little shake, before pulling out her datapad and her headphones. 

The phone icon buzzed as she waited to be patched through. 

‘Maggie?’ Dan said as his forehead appeared on screen. 

‘Hi, Mr Forehead, do you want to lower your camera a bit so I actually see your face or are you showing me all your grey hair?’ 

‘Modern technology-,’ Dan grumbled as he lowered his camera. ‘You’ve just caught us in the middle of the bed time wrestling match. Hasn’t she, kids?’ He winced as the kids shouted wildly. 

‘Is that, Maggie?’ Lauren’s excited voice asked. 

The camera shook as Lauren snatched it out of Dan’s hands. 

‘Girl! Look at you in all your doctor finery, you look like you’ve come straight out an episode of Grey’s Anatomy,’ Lauren gushed, beaming into the camera. 

Maggie chuckled, nothing could ever dampen Lauren’s spirits. ‘How is my favourite sister in law?’ 

‘Uh huh, nope, we’re not talking about me-’ Lauren arched her eyebrow cheekily. ‘I want to know more about Mr Tall Dark Handsome and Good with Kids- Bucky Barnes. If I didn’t think he was way out of Dan’s league, I would actually be worried that Dan was in love with the guy….’ 

A fist sized lump tried to force its way up Maggie’s throat. 

‘I’ll tell you about him over a bottle of wine,- or two,’ Maggie replied, her smile a little tight. 

Lauren hesitated. ‘Oh dear. Babe, is everything okay with you two?’ 

‘We want to talk to Aunt Maggie too!’ Hannah protested loudly and grabbed the camera off Lauren without waiting for permission. ‘ We learned about democracy in class and I think that the socio-economic and political system in the United States broadens the gap between..’

Maggie couldn’t help but let out a warm laugh. ‘Hannah, love, you’re going to be president someday, I would bet on it but I’ve been up all night. Would it be okay if we had a complex political discussion some other time?’ 

‘That’s fine, I guess,’ Hannah huffed, but perked up instantly. ‘Are you gonna come and stay for Easter? Are you gonna bring up some eggs?’ 

Maggie pretended to ponder. ‘I don’t know, I can only carry one Easter egg on the plane with me. So, I guess, whoever loves me more will get the egg.’ 

Maggie pulled the earbud out of her ear as the kids screamed like banshees. 

‘Wait,-’ Lauren repositioned the camera, ‘Matt wants to say hi, don’t you baby.’ 

Matt peered at the camera little nervously but smiled when Maggie waved at him. His hair looked damp from the bath, he wore a sleep suit with a sheep pattern on and he had his comfort blanket tucked under his chin. 

‘Aunty Maggie, I drew a picture,’ Matt whispered softly, holding the paper up to the camera. 

It was when fat drops of liquid hit her datapad screen that she realised she was silently crying. She couldn’t stop it as tears poured down her face. 

The crayon drawing showed four figures in the snow. Although they were crudely drawn stick figures, Maggie could make out Bucky and herself holding hands in front of a barn door. Matt had even labelled them in child-like writing ‘ARNT MAgee’ and ‘BuCCee THE NIHt.’ 

‘Can you give it to Bucky, please? I drew it for him.’ Matt’s eyes were so big and shy, for a second Magie could only nod. 

Maggie looked down the plane, she knew he could hear her conversation through her headphones. Bucky stared back at her, his face pale, his mouth drawn into a sad line. But when he didn’t move to get up Maggie forced herself to look away.

If Maggie could have put herself in his body then, she would have felt his heart breaking into a million tiny pieces. His metal arm whined as he had to physically hold himself back from leaping to his feet and scooping her up into his arms. 

‘Tell you what pal, you get your Dad to send me the picture and I will put it on my fridge so I can see it everyday,’ Maggie smiled. 

‘Promise?’ He watched her carefully with big eyes. 

Maggie sniffed wetly, brushing tears away with the back of her hand. ‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’ 

Dan smiled at her, cutting the side of his head out of the frame. ‘Thanks for that Maggie, we have a lot of art on our frid…’ 

‘Can I talk to you guys in private?’ Maggie asked her brother, her voice constricted by the lump in her throat. 

Dan frowned, ‘Sure.’ When Dan next put the camera up, Lauren was at his side on the landing. 

Maggie swallowed thickly before speaking. ‘Can you two do me a favour?’

‘Depends what it is?’ Dan snorted. 

Maggie looked down at her lap. She let the sounds of the plane fall away, until all she could hear were the happy echoes of her daydreams in her mind. Her heart’s desire. 

‘Tomorrow don’t make Hannah go to school. Send all the farm hands home. Don’t turn your phones on. In fact, just stay in bed with the kids. Keep them wrapped in blankets and let them eat ice cream and junk until it's past their bedtime…’ Fat tears made it hard for her to speak. ‘And hug them really, really hard- say it's from me and that I love them with all my heart.’

Lauren’s eyes were filled with fear as she spoke, reaching for her husband’s hand. ‘Is something happening tomorrow, Maggie?’ 

Maggie forced herself to suck in a steadying breath. ‘Not if we can help it but I ...I can’t make any promises.’ 

******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, traditionally if you receive red tulips from someone it represents a declaration of true love.... how about that, folks.
> 
> Please kudos, comment and subscribe. 
> 
> Also I cannot believe that I have reached 1000 hits! I realise that this is small potatoes for some people but to me its big. To celebrate I have started writing a series of one shots. So if you like my writing and would like something written, please feel free to give me a buzz and I'll see what I can do.  
> xx


	18. The Snap- Part 2: Bucky's Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line, he forced the words out even though they stuck in his throat. ‘I wouldn’t trust this of anyone else...If we lose this thing, if Thanos somehow wins...I need you to kill me. I need you to end it.'

The technology had changed, the music had evolved, values were more liberal. Bucky could remember being told off by an old woman in the street for wearing a hat inside a book shop. 

But it was society that had changed the most. Empires, dictatorships, even countries had come and gone since he’d been under. The Winter Soldier had been released five times during the time of the Berlin Wall. Nukes had been dropped. Peace had been forged, been broken, and yet in those seemingly pointless events, with politicians fucking everything up, people stayed the same. 

What was that saying that Maggie had? __

_ (She smiled tightly, her eyes glassy as she pretended to watch the football game. She was worried about him going on his first mission. Not about the Asset or the performance of his arm, but worried about him-Bucky Barnes- man- not Asset or machine. It felt strange.  _

_ ‘People are still busy being people.’ ) _

Steve hadn’t been so philosophical about it. In fact, Steve had always had a cynical streak that helped to keep his stubbornness in check.

‘Enemies aren't black and white anymore, Buck. The line in the sand depends on your perspective,’ Steve huffed through his nose. ‘There are still wars raging but we sit behind computers instead of in trenches. I’m not saying its a bad thing, but I can’t help missing the Battle of the Bulge every now and again.’ 

Bucky had laid in exactly the same position more than seventy years before. A thin army cot between him and the ground, the noise of boots loud in his ears, he somehow managed to drown them out. He used his hands as pillows, a habit now more than for comfort, Hydra had rarely supplied him with such during missions, and he gazed up at the canvas ceiling lost in his own head. 

_ (‘Sergeant Barnes, I have a message for you from Thanos.’ Maggie’s voice was bereft of all warmth and kindness. It was as if someone was wearing her skin as a suit.  _

_ Falling. Cold air roaring in his ears.The taste of gunpowder and soot. Somewhere, high above him someone screamed his name.  _

Fever dream images ran through his head, seared into his brain. Maggie’s hand gripped his arm, her skin cold, her calming green eyes were gone and in their place, blue eyes bored into him- terrible, unrelenting. He couldn’t look away. 

_ ‘Sergeant Barnes and Captain America, inseparable on both schoolyard to the battlefield…’ Laughing faces, a football thrown through the air. Steve fell to his knees, bigger boys pushing past him. Bucky helped him to his feet and put an arm around Steve’s shoulders as he threw up a middle finger at the bullies. They run through alleyways laughing.  _

_ Bullets, bombs, sweat, blood, smoke- Bucky’s own screams echoed around his head as if he was shouting into a cathedral. Zola’s leering face, needles hovering in front of his eyes. Pain.  _

_ ‘345678, Sergeant James Barnes, 107th.’  _

_ Pain _ _.  _ _ Pain _ _. _ _ Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pa _ _ in. Pain. Pain.  _

_ Unending. Unyielding. He’s a little diminishing light in the darkness. Stars and stripes burn bright and fierce whilst he is nothing, less than nothing, he is a cancer in the darkness…. _

_ ‘But Sergeant Barnes-’  _ A smooth voice speaks now, cutting through the ocean of images that assaults Bucky’s brain. Somewhere in a distant part of his brain, Bucky’s body spasms. His eyes roll back in his head, foam pours onto the ground from the side of his mouth. Sam screams into his communicator for the medical team to hurry as he tries to keep him in the recovery position.

_ ‘Sergeant Barnes, you’re perfect. You always were. A loyal friend, a loyal soldier, you love fiercely and yet you’ve never gotten any of the credit you deserve.’  _

_ A fat teenage boy punches him in the face, spits on him when he can’t get up. He’s fighting back to back with Steve. He clips a flower to his sister’s dress, eyes her beau balefully, Steve and him follow at a distance. A spotlight falls on Steve who flinches at first but then slowly smiles, waving at adoring crowds… Bucky is hauled backwards into the cold, silent shadows.  _

_ ‘The Earth doesn’t deserve you.’  _

_ ‘But I’ve done things, terrible things. I can’t go back!’ Bucky cried to the darkness but he is no longer alone.  _

_ A creature steps out of the shadows. More animal than man. Muzzled and chained, it growls ‘We did what we needed to survive.’  _

_ The Winter Soldier’s eyes are hungry, glacial waters. The oil paint smudged across his face made them look all the colder. Lacking any lasting warmth, human emotion other than what it took to keep them alive.  _

_ He crouches in front of where Bucky had fallen to his knees, his breath rising as a thick fog through his mask. ‘We always survived.’  _

_ ‘And look where it got us, huh? Sold down the river for dime, pal,’ Sergeant Barnes is slouched against a bar stool.  _

_ His uniform is crisp like a new dollar bill and his hat sits at a jaunty angle. Everything about him looks shiny and new, like he’d come out of the factory that morning.  _

_ ‘Jees, look at us, we could have had it all by now. A nice job back home, gone to baseball games with Becca and Stevie on weekends. Even got dizzy with a dame and had a dozen kids,’ Sergeant Barnes looked wistfully at Bucky for the first time, that lopsided grin pulling across his face- the one that he thought was so charming. ‘We always wanted to be a dad someday, didn’t we? Get married, house, kids, do the whole nine yards. Just like Mama had wanted.’  _

_ ‘It's not too late. It's never too late. Run towards your destiny Bucky…’  _

_ ‘ _ No...NO! You’re lying!’ Bucky thrashed against Steve’s arms, eyes wild unseeing. Maggie’s hands were around his face now, unblinking, her skin seemed to be fuzed to his. Vision tried to pry her wrists away but every muscle in her body refused to function. 

_ Thousands of pounding feet marched in synchronisation. Purple and gold ticker tape flew through like snow as his army paraded along Pennsylvania Avenue. Crowds cheered and waved, he waved back. Cameras flashed to capture his winning smile, the gold brocade of his military uniform and his startling blue-grey eyes gave him a wolfish look that he knew was popular in the outer colonies.  _

_ Overhead spacecraft pulled huge flags across the sky. A closed fist against a purple background. They fluttered in the wind, blotting out the dewy autumn sun as they drifted over the Lincoln Memorial.  _

_ Pride billowed up in his chest. His men looked good! He’d made every last one of them… His men, his army. All heroes to the Universe they served. No one would stand in his way ever again.  _

_ He left only ash in his wake if they did.  _

_ He was a hero again. He burned bright in the hearts of all his people.  _

_ ‘You always were a hero, sweetheart.’ Maggie clutched his arm tighter as they waved from the balcony at the crowds.  _

_ Christ, she was beautiful. He would never get sick of gazing at his perfect wife. She was his. Only ever his. The citizens of the United Empire of Earth loved their Empress. But Bucky knew that in the night time hours, when her body was swathed in the richest silks from Nova Prime and bathed perfume from the Cassiopea System, that she was his and his only. He would share her with no one.  _

_ She was almost too beautiful; her lips were too red and defined, her cheekbones had a cutting edge, dark curls rolled into a vintage style just how he liked looked so dark that they would consume all that touched them . _

_ ‘How did you know what I was thinking…’  _

_ ‘Shh, Emperor. It was always your destiny to be a hero-,’ she smiled seductively, her blue eyes searched his face-  _ wait, blue eyes?  _ But she’s already leaning in, the cameras flashed.  _

_ The Empire’s press have been waiting for this moment, Bucky cannot disappoint them. And why would he want to, when his wife was already whispering such sweet nothings against his lips.  _

_ ‘Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. It is inevitable… This will come to pass.’  _

‘Bucky!’

His body bolted forwards. His lungs constricting, sweat poured down his face. 

‘Bucky, it’s just a dream. A nightmare!’ Steve’s face swims in front of him. He’s pale despite the sun burns on his cheeks. 

Bucky shakes his head, swinging his legs over the edge of the cot. ‘No, not a nightmare. A vision.’ 

Steve’s forehead crinkles as he sits opposite Bucky on his own cot. ‘The message from Thanos, you still can’t shake it?’ 

‘You wouldn’t either if you saw what I saw,’ Bucky shuddered as he scrubbed his hands over his face and wiped away the sweat with the back of his hand. 

‘You know, you can talk to me about it. I’ve seen the horrendous stuff that people can do to each other too-,’ Steve’s warm eyes searched Bucky’s face. ‘It’s okay to be afraid. Especially if everything that Gomara has said is true. Being afraid of this Thanos guy is probably the most sensible reaction.’ 

‘But that's the thing, Steve,’ Bucky hesitates, his throat chokes him as it constricts. ‘It showed my things...things that I wanted, that I didn’t even know that I wanted…I wasn’t afraid at first, I liked it.’

‘What did it show you?’ 

‘The usual selfish crap that Father Simon’s warned us about. Money, Power, Lust…’ 

‘So you were paying attention in Sunday School. Here I was thinking you were sleeping with your book propped up.’ 

‘Who knew,’ Bucky huffed, smiling ruefully. 

Steve leaned forwards, his hands pressed together as if in prayer. ‘Look Bucky, I think you should tell Wanda what you saw. She’s something of an expert when it comes to visions.’ 

‘I don’t need Wanda. I need you, Steve,’ Bucky snapped in frustration, his voice was harsher than he meant it to be. Bucky let out a long tired sigh before, looking at the ground by Steve’s shoes. ‘I need you to do me a favour that I have no right to ask of you.’ 

Steve’s eyes narrowed. ‘Buck?’ 

_ The armies marching down Pennsylvania Avenue. Flying Thanos’ banner. Half the universe annihilated. A holocuast of destruction to any who stood in his master’s path _ … There was only one thing that he knew would stop it. 

Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line, he forced the words out even though they stuck in his throat. ‘I wouldn’t trust this of anyone else...If we lose this thing, if Thanos somehow wins...I need you to kill me. I need you to end it.’ 

Steve’s mouth opened and closed before he was one his feet. ‘No, no, absolutely not, why would you even ask that of...!’ 

Bucky caught his arm and forced him round, grabbing the back of his neck with both hands so that Steve couldn’t look away. ‘Do you remember Auschwitz? Everything we saw there,’ Bucky hissed fiercely, tears pooling in his eyes. 

Steve’s jaw tensed and his eyes went glassy. ‘Yeah,...how could anyone forget that.’ 

Bucky knew the horrors that were branded into his brain. His hands fell to his friend’s shoulders as Bucky’s eyes dropped to the floor. Shame filled him. 

Everything he saw had been created from a small part of his own desires. He didn’t want to be a tiny cog in the machine anymore, he wanted to be the wheel. He wanted the power to kick the dog and not be the dog. It would soothe all his fears. He wouldn’t be powerless anymore. Bucky would never be a slave again. And Maggie, she would look up to him like he held the world in his hands- mainly because he did. She would be his jewel…

Nausea churned low in his gut. He was as bad as Metcalfe! 

‘Think of that moment, Steve, when the Howling Commandos walked through those...those fucking gates!’ Bucky was trembling, an edge of hysteria to his voice. ‘Imagine that moment in your mind and then...imagine it covered the whole galaxy. I do that, Steve, that's all on me.’ 

‘I won’t let that happen,’ Steve replied automatically but his voice sounded dead. 

Bucky’s hands fell to his side and he turned away. ‘How can we take that chance?’ 

Steve is silent for a long time. His fear and his anger hang like a mist in the air but when he speaks to Bucky’s back, his voice is so gentle it wrenches his heart. 

‘You need to tell her, Bucky. If this does go south and I … You have a chance to say goodbye to Maggie. Don’t make the same stupid mistake I did and…’ 

Bucky cuts him off as he pulls Steve into a bone crushing hug. 

**

Maggie chewed the sandwich mechanically. Bite, chew, swallow, repeat. She didn’t taste the sour dough bread with its thick crust, or the subtle Wakandan spices used on the cured meat. She’d barely registered that she was hungry before Dr Maya had forced her to take a break in one of the consultation rooms. 

She was sitting with her legs crossed on an examination table, gazing blindly out the window. Maggie should have been thrilled to visit the mysterious Wakanda, with its futuristic technology and secret culture. And yet she found herself hiding away, keeping herself to herself, keeping her head down and trying to get through each day.

She knew she was being careless to the point of recklessness. Working herself into near exhaustion, feeling numb, chest pains, these were all signs of an ‘acute stress reaction’. More commonly known as ‘Heartbreak.’ Her body was slowly dealing with a sense of loss, of anxiety- of the complete and utter feeling of unbelieving that came over her whenever she stopped to let herself think of their argument. 

_ ‘Maybe I don’t need you as my sponsor anymore, have you thought of that?’  _

Maggie flinched as the words hit her again. His face inches from hers as he ground out the words. She sucked in a slow, calming breath. It was fine. It was normal. He was just another patient. Patients moved on. 

Patients moved on and so would she, someday. 

Maggie looked round as the door clicked shut. Her mouth fell open.

Bucky was standing with his back to the closed door. He’d cut his hair. It was shaved short at the back and slightly longer at the front, parted to a side and coiffed with pomade. It made it look darker, lusher, perfect for running your hands through. His eyes look younger somehow, as if he had nowhere to hide anymore. His beard too had been trimmed, cut into an artistic line underneath his jaw but still giving him a five o’clock shadow that made your skin tingle if you pressed your cheek against it. 

If he’d been any other man he would have been swaggering about, leaning against a bar somewhere with an adoring model on his arm. The world would have fallen at his feet in return for one of his lopsided smiles. And yet, he was here, standing uncertainly, with his hands hovering as if he didn’t know where to put them. 

His lips parted, his eyebrows raised slightly as if he’d briefly forgotten what he was going to say ‘...Hello.’ 

Maggie forced herself to look away, preoccupying herself with brushing crumbs off her scrubs. ‘Can I help you, Mr Barnes?’ Maggie replied in a business like manner.

‘You could accept my apology, that would be a big help,’ Bucky ventured lightly, ducking his head slightly as he tried to catch her eye. 

Maggie couldn’t trust herself to look. She knew that once she did, she would fall into those stormy blue eyes and float away. He could be asking for her pin number and she would have given it away whole heartedly. No, she needed to focus on being angry at him. 

She kept her back to him, absently straightening some medical tools on a tray in an attempt to keep her hands from shaking. ‘And why would I do that?’ 

Bucky huffed and ran his hands self consciously through his hair. ‘Because I’m an ass.’ 

_ How dare he be so...so..! _

Maggie whirled around, her hands on her hips as her anger got the better of her. ‘And a wanker, don’t forget about being a wanker!’ She retorted sharply. 

The corners of Bucky’s lips curled slightly, ‘Yeah, and that too.’ 

The gears jammed in Maggie’s brain. The last week had been her personal hell. She’d spent the last week thinking of this conversation, thinking of how angry she was and how betrayed she felt. But as he stood in front of now, the pain that had been eating away at Maggie’s innards lessened slightly. 

‘Why’d you do it , Bucky?’ She heard herself say, as her eyes searched his face for answers. ‘You really hurt me, do you know that? And what’s worse is that, not only did I lose you but everyone else followed suit too! I feel like you had the better lawyer cause you got our friends as well,’ Maggie gasped harshly. 

Bucky paled and looked away out the window. The sun was going down, casting the examination room in a sepia light. Maggie looked like she had stepped off the silver screen. She could have given Ingrid Bergman a run for her money. ‘Sam said you didn’t remember, I guess I didn’t want you to remember either... Thanos made you relay a message to me.’ 

Maggie looked down at her hands but subtly watched him out of the corner of her eyes. ‘What did I- he say?’ 

_ Flags of purple and gold. The sounds of a hundred thousand soldiers marching. Whole planets are forced to cheer his name as spaceships hover threateningly overhead.  _

Bucky swallows painfully, the muscles in his jaw jump. ‘ I’m not gonna repeat the foul things he promised would happen if I didn’t fall in line-,’ he hesitated, trying to force the images for his mind.

Maggie didn’t need to know what he’d involved her in. That Thanos wanted to use her just as much as he did Bucky.  _ The Empress who controlled Thanos’ fist.  _

‘He said that there was no reality where I don't make you and everyone around me suffer. I poison everything I touch and I’m nothing more than a weapon...’ 

‘What an utter load of bullshit!’ Maggie snapped, advancing on him and jabbing her finger to his chest. ‘ People suffer everyday, that doesn’t mean anything. He’s trying to knock you. It's the oldest confidence trick in the book.’ Maggie sucked a shuddery breath before lowering her hand, letting it fall to her side. Her ire bled into the floor at the look in Bucky’s wide fearful eyes. ‘But you obviously believe him, you made that pretty obvious...’ 

‘I was trying to push you away,’ Bucky said earnestly, he followed her as Maggie stepped away trying to put some space between them. ‘ I thought if we weren't friends, that I might be able to save you somehow…’ 

Maggie braced her hands on the examination table and glared up at him. ‘So what changed?-’ Maggie let out a harsh laugh. ‘I just need clarification, as I’m not your sponsor anymore and obviously you don't want me as your friend...’ 

‘It’s pure selfishness, plain and simple.’ Bucky smiled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck with his metal hand. His eyes searched her face, focusing slowly on each feature as if memorising it before forcing himself to look away.

With his hair cut short, Maggie could now see a warm blush creeping up the back of his neck. 

‘But, if we lose this thing... I don’t want my final day not to have you in it,’ Bucky murmured, his lips barely moved as he spoke. 

It was Maggie’s coup de grâce. His words slammed into her like arrows. They embedded in her breast bone, just to the right of her heart.

‘Buck!’ Maggie blurted as she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

Bucky hesitated for less than a heartbeat. His arms encircled her, around her waist and cupping the back of her head as he mumbled into her hair. ‘I’m sorry, Maggie, I’m so so sorry…’

Maggie’s arm came up, weakly thumping his arm as she growled into his chest, ‘You’re a jack ass, an arse hole, absolute fucking idiot,...and I really like your hair.’ All the while, her other hand curled into Bucky’s tactical gear, pulling him closer. Never wanting to let him go. 

Bucky was overwhelmed by a pure, absolute sense of rightness of how she felt in his arms. He would never be able to put it into words, write it or paint it, but when he held Maggie he knew he was finally home. After all those years of tortture and pain with Hydra, Bucky might never be the man that he once was but all that didn’t seem to matter as much anymore, as long as he had Maggie to come back to. 

Maggie yelped as Bucky lifted her off her feet, squeezing her a little too tight as he slowly stepped in a circle, slow dancing them on the spot. 

‘ _ All military personnel, please report to your assigned stations. All military personnel, please report to your assigned stations. All military personnel, please report to your assigned stations _ …’ 

Maggie began to pull away at the sound of the tannoy. 

‘Wait, wait!’ Bucky stammered desperately as he set her down on her feet and braced his hands on her shoulders. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he spoke. ‘I need to tell you something but I don’t know…’ Words jumbled and choked his throat. 

Maggie’s hands still gripped the front of his jacket, she hadn’t let go. The pupils of her green eyes had dilated, her brow was furrowed slightly as she gave him a quizzical look.

‘I don’t know if I can put it into words... You asked me once what I saw for my future but I hadn’t had a future in so long that I didn’t even bother to hope anymore that there could be something waiting for me.’ Bucky stepped back reluctantly and took her hands in his. ‘Maggie..Maggie, I will never be worthy of your friendship and l…’ 

‘ _ All military personnel, please report to your assigned stations. All military personnel, please report to your assigned stations. All military personnel, please report to your assigned stations _ …’ 

Suddenly she snatched her hands back, hiding them behind her back, slowly shaking her head. ‘This sounds too much like a goodbye!’ Her voice sounded loud in both their ears, shattering their illusion. ‘No, Bucky, we can’t say goodbye. Not now... It's bad luck!’ 

‘You need to hear this Maggie,’ Bucky blurted, the loss of Maggie’s skin made cold panic rise in his chest. 

‘Then tell me when we’ve won, okay?’ Maggie smiled softly. She took his hands gently in hers but the moment had passed, she was walking them to the door. ‘I’ll still be here and it’ll be me and you eating pancakes with raspberry jam in the kitchen again. Just as it should be.’

Her laugh was a warm fire on a cold day. ‘I’d love that.’ 

She was right, it was bad luck to say goodbye before going into the field but Bucky couldn’t shake what Steve had said. Steve had never had a chance to tell Peggy how he felt, his first kiss with her had been his last. 

Maybe Bucky was better off not knowing what it would be like to hold Maggie against him and he kiss the living daylights out of her, or test how deeply he could make her blush. He’d never know how her breath would catch in her throat when he told her that he loved her more than all the baseball cards in the world put together. 

She smiled at him. It was the smile she saved especially for him. ‘I’d love that too, Bucky, ‘ 

***

Wild, animal-like panic. Screaming voices in a dozen different languages that Maggie had never heard before. 

The battle is getting closer. The defenses were destroyed. Thanos’ monsters had broken through. In a last ditch attempt to hold them off, the main doors to the ER had been barricaded with anything they could get their hands on. 

At some point, Maggie didn’t know when, the retreat had been called. The medical staff were ordered to pull back to a secondary location. They were to take the critically wounded but they couldn’t take everyone. 

Maggie volunteered to stay. She was among the few grim faces that knew what they were signing up for. 

She was adjusting an IV drip when the booming started. Relentless and dull, her patients tried to pull themselves from their beds. 

They were hitting the main doors like a battering ram. The lights flickered on impact and then died. 

Maggie ran through dimly lit corridors, desperately pushing her way through a terrified, surge of people. She needed to get her patients in Wing 2 out. It was closest to the doors, if they were breached…

With a growing desperation Maggie tried to force her way through the throng.

They screamed that she should run. Wordless phrases that she didn’t catch as they dragged each other along. 

‘Maggie, come on! You’re going the wrong way,’ Dr Maya shrieked, latching on to Maggie’s arm. ‘There’s another helicopter, thats…’ 

‘I can’t, not yet!’ Maggie protested, pulling her arm away 

‘Don’t wait for him, Maggie, you’ll only get yourself killed,’ Maya shouted as she was carried away on the stream of people

‘I’ll meet you there, I promise!’

Suddenly, she was pushed back: knocked to the floor. Her body was suddenly too heavy to move, figures rose and fell around her, she flinched but could not turn away. Her body flinched from the impact of their feet but there was little she could do. 

And then there was calm. All the noise of the crowd fell away until Maggie could only hear the blood pumping in her ears, a blinding light fell into her eyes. 

( _‘But I want to go with you, Maggie Isle.’ His mouth opened and closed as if he didn’t know what to say. ‘ Just me and you and Coney Island.’)_

Maggie pressed the dog tags to her lips with her last remaining strength. 

They fell to the ground with a harsh clatter, laying in a bed of ash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....  
> Don't despair, its not over yet. I swear that at some point soon I will stop teasing you guys. I literally have a whole chapter of SMUT planned. 
> 
> As always please comment, kudos and subscribe.


	19. Infinity Verse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The looming sense of wrongness grew in his chest as his eyes fell on the date- ‘October 24th, 1929.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on this being a much longer chapter but it didn't feel right. So expect more updates really soon

My name is Bucky Barnes and I am definitely alive. 

He had said this so many times that the number was now meaningless. 

At first he was lost, a roving spirit walking down Flatbush Avenue on a bitterly cold winter’s day. Cars had rattled past on their thin wheels and people bustling about, pulling their hats and scarves close about them as they battled the bitter wind. 

Bucky had stumbled out of an alley. Knowing only two things. Firstly, his name was James Buchanan Barnes. And Secondly, that he was Bucky to his friends. 

A young boy ran up the street, carrying a bag of newspapers and his flat cap in the other. His shoes slapped in grey puddles of slushy ice, he grunted, pulling his foot out of the water and shaking his leg in an attempt to get the ice off his neatly pressed trousers. 

He can’t have been more than twelve but there was something vaguely familiar about how he grumbled under his breath in a thick Brooklyn accent. 

Bucky stepped into the boy’s path. ‘Hey, excuse me, can you please tell me where I-’ 

It was like a cold shiver running up his spine, mixed with the hollow feeling you get in your stomach when you miss a step in the dark. Bucky couldn’t explain it but as the boy's head disappeared through his chest, his body convulsed with a sense of emptiness. 

Bucky knew a third thing about himself. He didn’t belong here. 

He was running. Panicked as he flashed through streets, running headlong through people as they tried to get home and out of the cold. 

He stopped in an alley by the side of a cinema to catch his breath. 

Where was he running? What was his plan? 

It felt like there was something hovering on the edge of his knowledge but as his fist was about to close around it, his eyes settled on a crumpled up newspaper sat on top of a dustbin lid. 

He smoothed out the paper against the wall, using the sleeve of his red button down to dry off some of the flecks of snow. 

‘WALL ST. IN PANIC AS STOCKS CRASH.’ The headline read in harsh black ink. 

But that's not what caught Bucky’s eyes. The looming sense of wrongness grew in his chest as his eyes fell on the date- ‘October 24th, 1929.’ 

***

Those first few jumps had been difficult. 

Freezing. Alone. Terrified. Bucky had stood outside an apartment block that looked friendly.He waited until the inhabitants, a woman in her early thirties carrying a baby in her arms, had taken the trash out. He slipped through the front door and into a small kitchen just as the woman returned, locking the door behind her. 

He knew that she couldn’t see him. Otherwise she would have been screaming bloody murder. After checking the other rooms were empty, Bucky allowed himself to sink into the sofa. Cold exhaustion leaching all the energy from his body.

The woman jostled the baby in her arms as she pressed a bottle to the baby's mouth. ‘Bucky darlin’, have you brushed your teeth?’ 

Bucky bolted upright as if shocked by electricity but the woman kept her eyes facing the bedrooms, and her head tilted as if listening for something. 

‘Well, okay but don’t stay up too long. I don’t want you having nightmares again,’ she replied over her shoulder. 

He stepped around her, peering at her face hungrily as she moved around the kitchen cleaning away baby paraphernalia and drying dishes. 

She had flecks of grey in her auburn hair and bags under her eyes. Her dress came down to her knee and had been mended several times but still it was immaculate. She was pretty, her lips stained with red and hair pulled back into an elaborate style, but her thin face was tired and anxiety made her purse her lips. 

The women stood in front of the window and looked out at the dreary sky. Absently, she pulled a locket from the front of her dress and held it up for the baby to look at. Inside was a black and white picture of a young man, his dark hair slicked back and a charming grin playing over his face. 

‘I wish you could have met him, sweetheart. He would have loved his little Rebecca with all his heart.’ 

He’d lain on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling until the sun began to come up. The list of things he knew remained at three. His list of questions however spiralled. 

She’d called his name but not to him? How many Bucky’s could there be, it wasn’t exactly common. And why could no one see him? Was he dead? He didn’t feel dead, but then again he didn’t think he’d ever been dead before, so how would he know….

Bucky resolved to spend the next day trying to find answers. He obviously knew this family somehow, surely they could help him. 

But it hadn’t been that simple. 

As he opened his eyes after what seemed like a few minutes, Bucky knew that something was wrong. 

Car horns and gun fire echoed in the near distance. 

It was nighttime but as he looked out of a nearby window, Bucky could see flashes of gunfire and explosions on the streets below. He was high up as well, the tower block overlooked a city that he didn’t recognise. 

A family sat around a kitchen table, illuminated by a hanging light. A man and women in their mid forties were assembling weapons,  M4A1 Assault rifles- a voice in his head supplied, passing them to a little girl who placed them in a pile by the door. 

They spoke in low, hushed voices, their eyes darting to the window every time an explosion sounded particularly close. 

They continued to speak in Georgian but Bucky wasn’t bothering to listen anymore. He looked out of the window.

** 

Bucky had lost count of how many jumps he’d made since he first landed in the alley in Brooklyn, 1929. 

His only consolation was that with every jump he learnt something about himself until he could piece some rough image of what happened together in his mind. 

They had lost. That was the jist of it. With a desperate look and tears running down his face, Steve had raised a gun to Bucky’s head. He hadn’t been scared though, Bucky smiled up at his friend, a deep sense of peace passing over him. 

And then there was this, whatever this was. He kinda hoped that everything he was seeing was all in his mind but, fractured as it was, he had no idea who any of these people were. And if what he was seeing were his memories, why couldn’t he see himself. He saw his mother talking to him as a boy but hadn’t seen himself. Even when he recognised the memory, a STRIKE Team member had passed him a ration pack while on a mission, the ration pack had been passed to empty air and disappeared. 

No, unfortunately it wasn’t that simple. Bucky figured that since he fell in Wakanda, that they had lost and he was not in fact dead, but in the ‘inbetween’. 

Bucky cringed inwardly at how it sounded in his head. 

What Thanos had done was against the order of nature. Too many people had died at once and now they were stuck in death’s waiting room. Bucky figured that most people were reliving their memories; mundane, ordinary things like making breakfast and watching television. 

But Bucky had seen none of his own. He fell through the cosmic gap, not reliving but loitering in the side notes of other people's memories. 

Luckily, they did seem to be people he knew or had known at some point in his life. Some he couldn’t put a name; a women walking up a cobbled street in Paris holding a potted plant, a man with a pinched face shuffled a deck of baseball cards, a man passed a packet of coffee beans over a counter top in a shop. 

But others he did recognise. Bucky had first seen Fury during jump 41- when he was still bothering to count.

He was a young man then, wearing a military uniform and reclining on a cot bed in what looked like a barracks, his foot taping to the mellow music that was playing through a radio. In the next dozen jumps, Fury’s face morphed through different stages of youth. A young man hiding in tall grass as UH-1s flew overhead, picking out sunglasses in a shop, pulling the covers over a woman's shoulder and slotting a gun into his shoulder holster. 

Countless others he’d seen but never Steve. Bucky had glimpsed his own childhood through Becky’s eyes but he’d never seen Steve Rogers. 

It was this that gave him hope, that and Dr. Maggie Isle. 

It had been jump 56 when he first saw her. He knew who he was, who he’d been, a few of the faces he’d met were familiar now but Bucky was as lost as ever as he jumped from one person to another. 

He was in a pub. People laughed and swayed to the pounding music that blasted from the speakers above the bar. 

At first he didn't know who he was there for. The bar was crammed with rowdy young people who barely looked old enough to drink. Bucky had also realised that he was somewhere in England judging by the accents that he picked up over the music. 

He’d only been to England with the Howling Commandos during the war, never venturing far outside of London. This looked far too modern to have happened during the forties. 

The pub looked like a postcard picture of a traditional English village pub except that everyone was wearing tacky paper hats that said ‘Happy New Year!’ Bucky guessed this was also a student pub because the number of people grinding on the dancefloor was frankly alarming. 

And then he saw her. 

She teetered on her feet slightly, her heels were far too high given that she’d obviously had drunk a staggering amount of alcohol, and slotted a coin into what looked like a jukebox. She twirled as the music came on, the bumble bee outfit she was wearing left little to the imagination as she swayed to the music. 

Bucky couldn’t help but smile as he leaned against the wall, watching the young women dance by herself. She flashed a pair of striped yellow and black stockings, when she twirled her frilly black tutu gave him a glimpse of a matching pair of panties underneath. But she didn’t seem to care, it was her and the music, all the room fell away as she closed her eyes, enjoying the rhythm. 

All around people were drinking and dancing and celebrating, but Bucky couldn’t help but look at her. She was so familiar...looking at her smiling face, rosy from the booze and the heat of the pub, it made him feel calm for the first time since he’d landed. 

A young woman caught Maggie as she tried to perform an overly vigorous twirl. She was wearing a superwoman outfit, and held a glass of red wine in her hand. ‘Maggie, babes, I think you’d better slow down?’ 

‘Demmie, Demmie! You’re my best friend, do you know that- my abso-lute besests friends,’ Maggie slurred, slinging her arm over Demmie’s shoulder. 

‘Sure, I am, love, now let's get you a pint of water,’ Demmie coaxed, trying to steer Maggie away from the jukebox. 

Maggie was having none of it. ‘No, no, Dem- You think I’m drunk little- a little drunk. If I was drunk, could I do this?’ 

Even though he knew he couldn’t touch her, Bucky tried to catch her as she fell through the air. Maggie’s cartwheel careered off course and sent her straight into a table full of drinks, knocking a group of boys over like skittles. 

Fighting against her tuttu which had taffled around her head, Maggie struggled to sit up in the midst of all the chaos. 

A handsome young man wearing a rugby shirt laughed as he helped her up. The friends he’d been standing with didn’t look that impressed but he seemed to only have eyes for her. ‘Now, there’s a way to get a guy’s attention.’ 

Bucky found that his hands had curled into fists. 

Maggie hurriedly brushed herself off, tugging a cocktail umbrella out of her hair. ‘I’m training for the olympics…’ her voice fell away. 

Don’t lose her! A rough voice urged in the back of his mind but even as Bucky began to disappear, his body ‘going’ - he promised himself that he would find her again. This mad, vivacious, terrible dancer who made him want to touch her so desperately. 

**

Maggie had forgotten to do something, she just knew it. 

She paced her university room with growing anxiety, turning over medical text books and posti-notes, checking under her bed. 

_What did she need to remember_?! She hugged herself and pulled the sleeves of her cardigan down over her hands. 

‘Mags, are you ready, babe?’ Tom called from the doorway. He smiled warmly at her, his green hoodie and clean cut chinos made his hazel eyes sparkle in exactly the same way they had done on New Years Eve three years ago.

Normally she would have been calmed by her fiance's presence but she just couldn’t shake the feeling that she had forgotten something really important. 

Her eyes lingered in the corner of her room, near the top of her wardrobe, as if she could see the answer hovering there but not quite make it out. 

With a sigh she turned to her boyfriend and grabbed her coat. 

**

It was bitterly cold but Maggie didn’t care. The Christmas window was awash with golden lights and luxurious displays of sparkling paper and boxes. Her eyes were so wide the lights reflected in them like a kaleidoscopes. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. With difficulty, Maggie pulled off her mitten with her teeth and opened her phone. 

She had two messages. 

Hill:  _ Orientation at 9:30 am, Main Staff Room, 14th Floor.  _

Prof. Eric Banner: _ Please let me know when you get back to Stark Towers, Fury is chewing me out for not providing you with a security detail. I thought it would dampen the festive mood. Merry Christmas :) _

Maggie smiled down at her phone and sighed, her breath appearing as smoke in the frosty air. 

Maggie Isle:  _ Will do. Don’t think I shall stay out much longer, it's too cold! Tell Fury not to worry, I’ll take the subway instead of walking. _

Pressing send, she popped her phone back in her pocket. As she turned to make her way down the street to the subway station, she happened to glance up at the window again. 

There, written on the illuminated glass, were the words 'Remember Bucky.’

**

Maggie was walking up a steep stone path. The cliff side dropped away at one side and one her left the mossy hillside rose upwards. 

Bucky smiled as he listened to Maggie hum as she walked. She hadn’t changed a bit. Even though she was in her mid teens in this memory, Bucky could see the bright young women who he had come to love. 

When he’d first visited her memories he’d been curious about the women who made him feel so light inside. As with every jump he’d remembered more and more, until all the time he’d spent with Maggie in the future was at the forefront of his mind. Selfishly he was happy she was here with him, without her Bucky would have still felt adrift. Her presence kept him moored. He longed for her memories and would try and force the ‘jump’ to get to them. 

He walked by her side, like a ghost haunting her, as she reached the top of the hill. The summit overlooked the turbulent waters of the North Sea, moody and grey, almost matching the dark storm clouds above. 

Maggie laughed to herself as she found the highest rock and clambered up on it. She extended her arms above her head. She feels like she is cradling the waves with her finger tips. 

‘Hellllooo!’ She shouts above the wind, her voice barely carrying above the cliff edge. ‘My name is Maggie Isle and I will do great things!’ She shouted breathlessly. 

As if daring herself, she edged forward on her stone and tentatively lifted her foot- a centimetre and then an inch. She seemed to hover with her arms wide as if she was about to take flight. 

Then suddenly the wind changed direction and she pitched forward. Bucky made a wild grab for her arm and caught her wrist, wrenching her backwards. 

She landed in a heap at his feet and sat up, her eyes boring into his. Bucky pulled his hand away as if he had been burned, looking from his palm to Maggie’s face. He’d never been able to touch anyone before, they’d always passed right through him. 

But before he could say anything, he was already ‘going’. His feet were disappearing into the grass and he could see the sun starting to pass through his hands. 

As he looked down, Maggie’s mouth opened. ‘Bucky?’ She breathed, just as his face melted away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is always hope!
> 
> As always please comment, kudos and subscribe. 
> 
> I am also putting together a series of Bucky focused drabbles to celebrate reaching 1000 hits, so if you have any ideas, please let me know.


	20. Reunited but how long...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘I’ve been calling it the Infinity Verse but the Inbetween works as well.’ 
> 
> ‘Okay, well since it's just us two now in the...Infinity Verse,-’ Maggie let out a shaky breath and bit the inside of her cheek. 
> 
> It was now or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The SMUT has finally arrived! 
> 
> There is explicit sex in this chapter - YOU'RE WELCOME.

‘Jumping’ felt a lot like when you're standing in an elevator and it arrives at its destination too quickly. Bucky was never fully prepared for it but he braced himself as Sam Wilson’s 16th birthday party disappeared before his eyes. 

It's not immediate either. Bucky hadn’t noticed it when he’d first jumped because he’d been asleep but jumping took time. His mind would arrive first as his corporal body would build molecule by molecule until it was present. 

He felt himself ‘going’. Sam smiled at his mother and passed her a piece of birthday cake as Bucky felt the sweeping feeling in his belly. He closed his eyes and let the room fall away. 

Out of the darkness a voice rang out like a bell. ‘What do you want with Steve?’ 

_ Maggie! His Maggie.  _

Bucky craved her memories like a dragon with treasure. But his joy was short lived, her voice sounded thin and brittle with fear. 

There was a pause and then a deep, rough voice spoke as if raspy from lack of use. ‘He is my mission.’ 

The Winter Soldier. 

Bucky’s ‘eyes’ opened but he was forced to watch, cold fear making him feel impotent as his body built itself. His hands looked like heat haze, an approximation of fist as he clenched them together. 

Maggie turned slowly, her slipper socks sliding on the wooden floor, she held her arms protectively across her chest. The Winter Soldier had removed his mask and towered over her. Baring down so that his lank, dark hair surrounded her face. 

Bucky knew that Maggie was fighting her fear, trying to remain calm, as her chest hitched. She looked so small and vulnerable compared to him. The Winter Soldier was a tool of war, everything about him was lethal. It was like a deer had been cornered by a primeval animal, his cold eyes watched her with razor sharp focus as he decided how best to dispatch his prey. 

She began to speak carefully, picking her words very deliberately and hesitantly. ‘Steve Roger’s is a very honourable man, he is my patient and my friend. Please don’t hurt him! If you can save him or protect him in anyway, please try. And if you see Bucky, let him know that a friend of Steve’s is a friend of mine. I will care for them both, if I can.’ 

Bucky’s heart felt like it was going to burst. If she was in any other situation, he would have cherished her even more, but right now, with the Winter Soldier holding her life in his hands all Bucky wanted her to do was flee!

Run! Hide! Fight! 

Bucky tried to step forward but his feet hadn’t materialised yet. Pins and needles shot through his spine, rooting him to the spot. 

The Winter Soldier's lip twitched as he breathed, ‘He is my mission.’ 

Maggie forced herself to swallow thickly. ‘Have you been ordered to kill him?’ 

\---

The man said nothing. He remained still and silent as his eyes searched her face. There was barely any space between them, they breathed the same air. 

She was overwhelmed by him. She wanted to tear her eyes away from his cold gaze, back away into a corner but the armchair pressed against the backs of her knees, nearly throwing her off balance. 

Maggie tried again, the tension in her body was steadily growing. ‘May I ask a question?’ 

More silence, although the man did cock his head a little. 

Maggie opened her mouth but no words came out. Something red blurred in front of her, colliding with the man in black. They barreled into the wall, making a huge hole in the plaster. Maggie desperately scrambled over her sofa, throwing herself out of harm's way as a flurry of kicks and punches destroyed her living room. The air seemed to explode as two iron fists crashed together. 

The newcomer, a man wearing a red shirt and jeans, was locked in a deadly embrace with the man in black. Fists welded together as he threw the man in black off balance, crashing through the remains of her coffee table. 

They were identical in every way. They way they fought, fist to fist, kick to kick. They even looked alike but in the flurry of movement Maggie could only make out two shaggy heads of dark hair. 

She slipped as her hand closed around the door handle. Suddenly a voice called out, pleading. ‘Wait, Maggie!’ 

Something in it made her hesitate. There was a softness in his voice that made her pause.  _ She must be mad!  _

Snatching up a letter opener from the hallway table and hiding it behind her back, Maggie tentatively stepped back into the living room just as the man in black disappeared, vaporized into thin air. 

Maggie blinked. And then blink again. 

The spot where he stood, doubled up in pain as he held his ribs, now shimmered and sparked like electricity ran through the air. It was almost like a spritz of perfume falling, because it disappeared, drifting into nothingness. 

‘You killed him…?’ Maggie barely heard her own voice over the pounding blood in her ears. 

The newcomer in the red shirt shook his head, looking from where the dark man had disappeared through his hands, to Maggie’s face. ‘I didn’t kill him, I couldn’t. I don't think it works like that,’ he spoke slowly, hesitantly as a grin broke over his face until he was positively beaming at her. 

He actually had the audacity to smile at her, actually smiling at her-  _ even at a time like this!  _

‘Then would you care to explain how you identical twin brother- a hydra agent, I might add, just sunk through the carpet?!’ Maggie demanded, as she jerkily pointed at the spot where the man in black had dissolved. 

The man’s mouth opened once and then closed. His eyes widened as he seemed to struggle to find the right words to say. ‘I...you can see me?’ He asked as if it was a surprise. 

This caught Maggie off guard. She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, leaning on her hip. ‘Is this some type of joke? Of course I can see you.’ 

The man took a step forward, watching her face carefully. ‘And...you don’t remember me?’ 

Maggie frowned, a hard edge to her voice. ‘We’ve never met before tonight. I’m pretty sure I would remember meeting two men with metal arms on the same day.’ 

‘One man, actually,’ he corrected with a shrug. 

‘Sorry, but I’m sure you both had metal arms. You’ve literally just punched through my bedroom wall!’ 

‘He’s me…’ The man struggled, chewing the inside of his mouth as he looked down at the carpet but then he forced his head back up, staring at her fiercely as he took another step towards her. ‘Or...I was him. I was him and you made me better.’ 

Maggie held the letter opener tighter. ‘I’m really sorry, but you must be confused but we’ve never met before.’ 

The man stepped closer still, until all that separated them was the sofa. Maggie could see desperation glinting in his eyes as he stared at her hungrily. ‘But we have Maggie, we have met before!’ He hesitated, shaking his head slightly, ‘Or we will. We meet in the future, three years from now.’ 

Maggie smiled kindly, canting her head. ‘You think you’re from the future?’

‘Don’t use your doctor's voice on me, Maggie! I know this sounds cracked but I’m telling the truth,’ he swore with frustration as he began to pace. 

‘I don’t think it sounds cracked at all…’ She began calmly. His growing agitation, his pacing- these were all signs of mental distress, however without his case files or in fact any indication of who the man was...

‘Bullshit! You’re thinking that I remind you of Bill Simmons from the 34th who thought he was still fighting the American Civil War!’ 

Maggie froze. 

‘How do you know about Bill Simmons?’ She asked harshly, panic starting to creep into her chest. 

‘I know a lot about you, Maggie- Not in a creepy way!’ He added suddenly, his eyes wide. ‘Not like Metcalfe, -’ Maggie opened her mouth and began to back out of the room. ‘Yeah, I know about Metcalfe and in my time... our future, we vaporised the son of a bitch with a bolt of lightning. Well, Thor did it technically but..’

‘What's your name?’ Maggie asked carefully.

‘Oh,’ The man seemed to flounder for a moment but then he spoke softly, barely a murmur. ‘My name is Bucky.’ 

‘Bucky Barnes?’ Maggie asked, a frown wrinkling her forehead. ‘As in Captain America’s Bucky Barnes?’ 

‘You don’t have to say it like that but…’ Bucky huffed lightly before nodding. ‘Yeah, I suppose that's me.’ 

‘And you’re saying your from the future?’ Maggie asked lightly for clarification, but she scrutinised every slight movement with a doctor’s eye. 

‘Yes and no…’ Bucky’s voice trailed off as if lost for words. ‘...we’re actually stuck in a memory. I’m from 2020, this memory is set when we technically first met... and I was the Winter Soldier. Steve asked you to help me remember who I was by becoming my sponsor...that was a year ago now...,’ He stammered, struggling to gasp out the words as if he knew how crazy they sounded. 

What was it about him that made Maggie falter? She should have been pushing her panic button, or even calling Rumlow since one of his men was clearly having some kind of stress induced nervous breakdown. And yet…

_ And yet, why did some part of her already believe him? _

Maggie stepped around the sofa, trying to make it look like a peaceful gesture, and smiled at him gently. ‘Okay, Bucky Barnes  _ from the future _ . Tell me something that only I would know?’

‘Jeez...-’ Bucky started to pace, tearing his hands through his hair as he noticed Maggie began chewing her lip as she watched sceptically. He grasped desperately at straws, blurting out anything that came to mind. ‘Your hotdog order is always the same. Bratwurst, sauerkraut, extra mustard, one fried pickle. You broke your arm when you were 8 by slipping in mud on your grandfather’s farm but you told everyone at school you fell off your bike. Your…’

‘How could you possibly know that?’ Maggie blurted out. 

Bucky hesitated before speaking. ‘Because you’re my best friend,’ he breathed, his expression softened and it was as if all the tension fell from his shoulders. 

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up. ‘And your from the future…?’

‘Yeah, that too I guess,’ Bucky sighed, his pale eyes roving over her face. 

A heartbeat. A dozen heartbeats passed between them before Maggie forced herself to look away. She turned and pinched the bridge of her nose hard. 

‘I’m obviously having a full on sensory hallucination. Maybe even a psychotic episode... Too many late nights, too much vodka as a student... maybe I have a glioblastoma multiforme growing in my cerebellum. You’re a subconscious construct that my mind has made up to test me.’ Maggie said this more to herself than Bucky. With a shaky breath, Maggie’s hand dropped to her face. 

Bucky barely suppressed a noise of surprise, as she laced her fingers with his metal ones, turning his shiny palm over in her hand. 

‘What's this?’ Maggie asked quietly, as she smoothed her thumb over the heel of his palm. 

‘Oh, its sand…’ 

The corners of her mouth curled slightly. ‘How could my brain think up this much detail?’ Maggie chuckled quietly to herself.

Bucky was transfixed by her face. The way her hair had fallen out of her plait. To have her standing before him, actually touching him, after so long being alone. It was a dream that he never wanted to end. ‘I snatched it from Norton Hill. That was the last time I saw you. You fell off a rock...’

Maggie’s hand contracted around his fingers. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, her mouth hung open in a perfect ‘O’. ‘How do you know about Norton Hill? I never told anyone about Norton Hill. It was my place...My private place I went to get away.’ 

‘We’re best friends, Maggie,.... more than that really.’ Bucky’s breath ruffled wisps of dark hair about her face. ‘There isn’t a day that goes by when we don’t talk.’ 

It was like being repeatedly hit by a freight train. The feeling of memories rushing into Maggie's brain made her knees buckle, she threw her head back as her body convulsed. 

_ ‘You know, I don’t know. I’ve never been a Sponsor before so I am as new to it as you are but -’ she paused and her hand resting on the door frame ‘ I suppose the purpose of a Sponsor is to be whoever and whatever support you need me to be.’  _

_ Tony had stopped pacing but he radiated furious energy. ‘So you’ve made your choice.’ She felt calm suddenly. ‘For me it was never a choice.’  _

_ ‘Can you hear my heartbeat?’ She asked as she worked, gently cleansing Bucky’s wound. ‘Try focusing on that, try to match your breathing to my rhythm.’ _

_ ‘I think I know where they belong. One here-’ he threw the chain around his neck and then reached over and, taking Maggie’s hand, wrapped the chain around her wrist, ‘-and here.’  _

_ ‘You may be a super soldier but you're still mortal. You bleed like any other man!’ _

_ ‘Are you a knight?’ Matt’s eyes never left Bucky’s silver arm. Matt was mesmerised and for a few seconds the world seemed to revolve around the three of them; Bucky’s smiling face and Maggie holding Matt in her arms as the little boy gasped in delight.  _

_ Coffee, eucalyptus soap, fir trees, pine sap, hay, fresh linen… _

_ God, I am in love with him but there is no hope….I love him so much. Bucky, I’m in love with you... _

_ ‘You need to hear this Maggie,’ Bucky blurted, the loss of Maggie’s skin made cold panic rise in his chest. ‘Then tell me when we’ve won, okay?’ Maggie smiled softly. ‘I’ll still be here and it’ll be me and you eating pancakes with raspberry jam in the kitchen again. Just as it should be.’ _

Her mouth parted, the knot of Maggie’s chest unraveled all at once. Her bottom lip trembled and everything that was stitched together crumbled, a sob choked out of her throat, and before she really realised it, tears spilled down her face and she threw her arms around Bucky’s neck. 

‘Bucky?!’ Maggie scream-laughed, throwing her arms around his neck so hard that he stumbled slightly. But Maggie didn’t care, she couldn't care- not when they had somehow found each other. Whether he was real or a figment of her imagination, Maggie couldn’t care less! 

‘You’re here and I’m here- wherever here is, and you... the old you was here. And then in Wakanda we lost! I was laying on the floor and I.. I don’t know, I ‘POOFED’ and then I was here- in this memory, I guess, and then you arrived and your hairs long again, then everything just came back…’ 

‘Maggie...You’re cutting off my circulation,’ Bucky choked out but the grin on his face betrayed him. 

‘Opps!’ Maggie giggled as she dropped to the floor, realising at some point that Bucky had scooped her up. Nervous energy rampaged through her and found that she couldn’t keep herself still. ‘So what now?’ Maggie asked as she began to pace, biting her nails. 

‘I don’t really know,’ Bucky let out a long huff, and stuck his hands in his pockets. ‘I mean, I’ve been travelling between people's memories ever since I fell in Wakanda.’

‘Are we dead?’ Maggie asked quizzically, her hands gesturing wildly, ‘I don’t feel dead...’

‘Then let's go with not being dead. We can just carry on...’ Bucky shrugged, an amused look playing over his face as he watched her.

Maggie slowly came to a halt with her back towards him. It was as if she’d run out of steam. ‘No, that's not fair on you. I can’t do this anymore,’ Maggie’s voice was barely a whisper as she spoke to herself.

‘Maggie, what's wrong?’ Bucky asked, cold dread rising in his chest as he put his hand on her waist, slowly turning her to face him. 

Her eyes were wide as if she was just realising that he was there. Slowly she blinked and then blinked again. Her eyes came into focus as she swallowed thickly. ‘You should probably sit down for this…’ Maggie said abruptly, forcing him to walk backwards and plonk down on the sofa. 

Bucky watched her with rising trepidation as she began to pace, her flushed skin covering the tops of her shoulders just past the petal shaped birthmark on her back. 

Maggie clasped her hands together and placed them under her chin as she turned to him. ‘I’ve been keeping something from you for a while now and I feel like now,... now it's just us, in whatever crazy, messed up…’ Maggie floundered for the word. ‘What are we calling this place?’

‘I’ve been calling it the Infinity Verse but the Inbetween works as well.’ 

‘Okay, well since it's just us two now in the...Infinity Verse,-’ Maggie let out a shaky breath and bit the inside of her cheek. 

_ It was now or never.  _

‘It would be wrong of me to carry on this lie…. I’ve loved you a while now but I don’t expect anything from you and I don’t want to confuse things ever more than they already are…’ Maggie reeled this off so quickly she had to catch her breath. She didn’t dare look at Bucky as she paced up and down the living room carpet. ‘I don't really know when it started; I don’t know what day or time I knew that I wanted to be with you. I’m scared as hell to want you but, here I am, wanting you anyway.’ 

Bucky blinked at her, his lips parted slightly. He was quiet for a moment. Then,  ‘I know.’ 

Maggie stopped so quickly she almost stumbled mid step. ‘You know? What do you mean you know?’ Maggie forced out, a tinged of hysteria on her voice. ‘How can you know, I was really good at …’

Bucky sat forward with his elbows on his knees. His eyes watched her face hungrily. ‘During the attack on Triskelion, we ...Friday patched through to the lab, we heard you tell Metcalfe. Yelled it at him, more like,’ he added with a soft huff of laughter. 

‘You heard that,’ Maggie gaped at him. _How could he look so calm!_ Before snatching a pillow and forcing it over her face, in an attempt to hide her growing mortification. ‘ Wait, who’s we?’ Her voice was muffled through the plush fabric. She pulled the pillow down just enough so she could peep at him. 

‘Me, Steve, The Rodent, Hayley, Hill, Nat and The plant but I’m pretty sure everyone else knows too.’ Bucky’s voice was heavy with amusement. Maggie knew that he was wearing a shit eating grin across his stupid face!

‘The plant knew! God, I am so embarrassed,’ Maggie croaked into the pillow. With a steadying breath, she pulled it down to her chest and wrapped her arms around like a lifeline. ‘Look Bucky, I am so sorry to put you in this situation, I realise that it must make you really uncomfortable….’

With an assassin’s grace, Bucky had crossed the room and pulled her into his arms before she realised he’d moved at all. With his metal arm around her waist and his flesh hand cupping her jaw, the only thing keeping their bodies apart was the pillow still clutched to Maggie’s chest. It felt like a chasm lay between them. 

‘How could you make me feel uncomfortable?’ Bucky whispered, his eyes gleaming with amusement- hunger, Maggie couldn’t tell, she was too lost in his stormy eyes. ‘I adore you, Maggie.’ 

He sighed as he pressed his forehead against hers, his breath trembling slightly. ‘They only way I can explain it is...I lived in darkness and then I found you and you are the sun, I orbit you because you are my home.’ He hesitated, letting out a soft chuckle, pulling away slightly so he could gazing into her eyes once again. ‘Hell! I know I sound lame, but the simplest way to explain it is that I want to eat pancakes, with raspberry jam and watch you read the newspaper…’

He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t have stopped himself if he tried. The world had fallen away. There was no noise, no past, no present, just them; holding each other. 

His lips parted slightly as he leaned down and pressed a feather light kiss to the very corner of her mouth. He smiled into her skin and whispered, ‘...for as long as we both shall live.’ 

That's what broke Maggie.

Suddenly her mouth was on his, her body arching up as she cupped the back of his head in her hands. Bucky moaned into her mouth, opening his lips invitingly as Maggie devoured him.  He was intoxicating. Like hot cider on a cold day, he made her warm and dizzy all in the same second, he made her toes curl and her head spin, the earth swayed under her feet and the room titled. When his tongue danced over hers she felt like she would spontaneously combust. 

With a growl, Bucky hurled the pillow across the room and hauled her close, his hand on her hip, running up under the fabric of her camisole to skate across her spine while the other cradled her face as he plundered her mouth. His lips were soft and firm but his tongue was demanding. 

Maggie pulled back suddenly, separating their lips, shaking her head as she was coming out of a dream. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to rush you...We can take it slow if you want to.’

Bucky’s cheeks had a dark flush as he studied her face, pushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. ‘Maggie’ he whispered with quiet desperation, pressing his lips against her forehead; every instinct yelling at him to pull her closer. ‘I’ve waited 70 years for you, I’m not waiting a goddamned second longer than I have to.’ 

With a savage growl, he swooped and wrapped her thighs around his waist. Maggie cried out in pleasure as her core was crushed against the muscles of his stomach. Her nails bunched into the fabric of Bucky’s shirt as her mouth sort his again. She was barely aware that he walked backwards to the sofa, too enthralled by the taste and feel of his body against hers. 

They both laughed as his knees caught. The sofa rocked alarmingly but neither of them noticed as Maggie straddled Bucky’s hips, her body flush against him as her fingers carded through his long hair. 

Bucky let out a low hiss through his teeth and Maggie hesitated. ‘God, don’t stop,’ he smiled wolfishily, grabbing her wrists and forcing them back into his hair. 

She was more than happy to oblige. In fact Maggie had spent a lot of time fantasising about how his hair would feel running through her fingers, against her naked skin. She smiled to herself as she  ran her tongue over the outer shell of his ear, eliciting an indecent moan from Bucky’s mouth. 

He tugged at the hem of her camisole.  ‘Get this silly, little silky...I don’t even know what you call it... thing off,’ Bucky panted thickly. His mind was awash with her, the taste of her mouth alone was enough to send him reeling but god, the way she was playing his body like an instrument, Bucky was worried he wouldn’t last. 

Maggie leaned back, bracing her hands on his knees. ‘I’ll have you know these are my favourite pajamas,’ Maggie declared, smiling ruefully as she teasingly arched her back, squeezing her breasts together with her elbows. 

‘That's how it is, is it?’ He said wryly. Without any hesitation, Bucky grabbed the fabric and tore it from her body, tossing the ragged shreds over her shoulder. 

She was pale and strong; her breasts round mountain peaks, her nipples flushed pink like her lips. Bucky had imagined her like this many times, but he had never done her the justice she deserved. He just needed to feel her skin against his, the warmth of her touch, the sensation of her naked body pressing against his. 

Maggie shuddered violently when Bucky took the opportunity to take her nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around her hardened peak: and lowered his flesh hand, seeking the hot wetness of her thighs.

She threw back her head in pleasure, knotting her hands into Bucky's hair and cradled his head, as his hand parted her sex and sank deep within her. She could barely move, barely think, as he sent another wave of pleasure through her body with the unrelenting movement of his skilful fingers...Tension built and fire raged within her, desperate for climax, Maggie placed her hand on top of Bucky's fingers and guided his rhythm.

‘Christ!’ She cried out in release. Bucky’s metal hand squeezed her hip, holding her in place, as she squirmed in pleasure. 

He waited for the aftershocks to subside, hungrily watching the pleasure on her face. ‘Names not Christ, sugar, but I’m as good as,’ He quipped, a lop-sided grin playing across his face. He even winked when she shot him an exasperated look. 

Maggie’s chest was still heaving but she grinned back challengingly, pulling herself out of his grasp to stand just out of reach. ‘My mistake, I guess I’ll just have to take all this-’ her hips swayed a little as she eased down the silk pyjama shorts down her legs, she was bare underneath ‘- and go elsewhe…’ 

Bucky actually growled. The Winter Soldier inside him couldn’t stand the sight of her retreating from his touch. He needed her. Bucky needed her. It was base, it was animal but there was no other way to describe it. 

Maggie yelped as he darted out, snatching her wrist and twisting his body in a judo move so that Maggie flipped over his hip, landing on her back on the sofa. 

‘You’re going to be the death of me, Maggie Isle,’ Bucky breathed as he bored down upon her, his arms caging her head as he fiercely ravaged her mouth with his tongue. 

‘It's a good thing you're a super soldier then. But why you are still fully clothed is beyond me,’ Maggie murmured, grinning against Bucky’s lips. 

With a small noise of frustration, he pulled himself to his feet but as he did Maggie shot him a mischievous smile.  Bucky watched, barely daring to blink as Maggie raised her knees to her chest, displaying herself unashamedly: a wanton creature of pleasure. There was a tremble in Bucky’s hands as he pulled his shirt over his head, tugged off his jeans and his boxers, tossing them across the room without a second thought. 

Maggie's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Fuck! He looked perfect.  S he gasped a little and bit her lip when she saw the size of him, proud and tall , hi s shaft was every bit as muscled as his torso .  ‘Oh god, Buck, you’re so…’ Maggie whined as she reached for Bucky, grabbing his hand and pulling him down onto the sofa with her. 

Bucky held himself carefully over her, not wanting to crush her with his weight but Maggie was beyond caring. Her hands roamed through Bucky’s hair, the coiled muscles of his back: she wanted more but she felt him tense slightly as her hand came to rest on the seam between his metal arm and his neck.

‘Does it hurt?’ She asked quietly, the tips of her fingers brushing over the sensitive scar tissue. 

A muscle jumped in his jaw as he spoke quietly. ‘Sometimes.’ 

The sudden urge to kiss the scars flared in Maggie’s mind, joined a moment later by the realisation that she didn’t just have to stare and want any longer. Sitting up on her elbows, Maggie kept her eyes locked with Bucky, as she gently kissed every one of his scars. Starting with his shoulder, her lips danced along his collar bone where he’d been burnt by the stun batons, to a bullet wound on his hip. All the while Bucky watched her silently, enthralled by how she gently moved his body to accommodate her touch. 

Finally, happy that she had kissed every scar,  she ran her tongue over her palm, wetting it, and then reached down between their bodies to massage his throbbing member with slow, seductive flicks of the wrist. He was hot and sticky as his body got ready to welcome her. Bucky hissed and biting his lips viciously, heat sheared him and his muscles tensed wildly.

‘Maggie-!’ Bucky gasped out and withdrew from her slightly, locking eyes with her and brushing a strand of hair away from her face. 

‘Ask me: I’ll give you everything, Bucky,’ she murmured softly, earnestly, nosing the side of his jaw as she kissed the sensitive skin there. 

He couldn't take it anymore, the temptation; the pleasure was all too great for him. An animalistic growl erupted deep within his chest, as he grabbed her hips and pulled her lower on the sofa, pinning her underneath him.

His pupils dilated as his pale eyes flashed hungrily. He eased open her thighs and placed himself at her entrance. ‘Do not look away,’ he gasped out and Maggie nodded, her legs locked around Bucky’s hips. Arching her back, Maggie lifted her hips and ground her core against Bucky’s cock. 

Her hair was splayed out beneath her and her arms extended over her head to gasp the arm of the sofa, he watched cautiously as she struggled to maintain her control. ‘Please Bucky, I need to feel you,’ her tone was hoarse and half whispered, her chest rising rapidly as she panted. 

And with no more words, he filled her: plunging his cock to the hilt. Maggie cried out in pain and pleasure, Bucky’s name torn from her lips.

She felt like… She felt like fucking sunshine! There was no other way to describe it. Being in her, loved by her, it burned all the frozen memories away until all that was left was Maggie’s body pressing against his. 

Bucky studied her face, filled with desire, her green eyes never leaving his. The animal in him wanted to take her hard and fast, to possess her. Show her what he was capable of but Bucky wasn’t that man anymore, he didn’t need to be that man anymore, he wanted to eek out her pleasure. 

She writhed under him wanting more. Only when he was sure she could accommodate his size did he slowly, tantalisingly slowly, withdraw himself easing out of her hot wet core. 

‘Bucky, please!’ Maggie desperately but Bucky just chuckled and then impaled her again and again and again. Withdrawing almost his entire length and then filling her. 

And all the heartbreak and pain and fear that built up within him, the past however many decades , disappeared — and Bucky was filled with love and  warmth and Maggie in its place. 

‘Sugar, you are so wet for me,’ he moaned into her hair and Maggie began to raise her hips to meet his, her speed languid at first then growing in power. They moved as one. Perfect and synchronised.

Sweat coated their skin and sweet juices of love made their movements' slick and fluid. Their lips worked seamlessly, like partners in a dance, their tongues moved rhythmically, teasing as much pleasure as they could.

Bucky raised himself, braced his arms around her lower back as he lifted her hips off the sofa, he continued to plough into her. The tension coiled within them until it was too much for their bodies to bear.

Maggie threw her head back and  sobbing his name out in a profanity, not caring if anyone heard, dragging her nails down his arms, scoring his tanned skin with deep angry welts. While Bucky dug his fingertips into the flesh of her hips and bit his lips so hard he tasted blood, stars dancing in front of his eyes making his head spin.

They came together, Maggie’s body contracting around him as they reached blinding ecstasy. Collapsing to the sofa, their bodies still joined: panting in sated satisfaction and pleasure. Maggie cradled Bucky to her heaving chest and she encircled him with her arms, smoothing his damp hair away from his forehead. 

Maggie sighed deeply as she rested her cheek sleepily into the top of his head.

"Hmm?" He asked, brushing some wispy flicks of brunette hair out of her eyes to look at her.

Maggie let out a soft chuckle, ‘I was just thinking that I could get used to this.’ 

‘Hmmm, give me a few minutes and I’ll defi-’ The words died in his throat as he eased himself out of Maggie's arms and pulled himself into a sitting position, his hands winding into his hair. 

Maggie pulled a blanket over her as she sat up, gently she touched his shoulder, anxiety bubbling up inside her chest. ‘Love, it's okay. I’m sorry if we went too fast. I know it must be strange to be like this with…’ 

He looked at her then, his pale eyes full of sadness and remorse. For a heartbeat Maggie felt cold fear spread through her at the thought that he might regret what happened but he knew her too well. With a gentle hand he eased the frown off her face, before pressing her knuckles to his lips and holding her hands to his heart. 

‘I could never regret you, never you. I just wish…’ he hesitated, his mouth pursing into a thin line. ‘I didn’t want our first time to be like this, me humping you on the couch like a horny teenager afraid he’s gonna get caught.’ He hesitated again, shooting her a pained expression. ‘And I shouldn’t have finished inside you. I didn’t even use a prophylactic for Christ's sake! Are we gonna have to go to the pharmacist?’

In that moment Maggie didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than she already did but he just kept proving her wrong. 

A broad, adoring smile split across her face and she, not too gently, pulled him into an intense kiss. ‘Why did you have to be so wonderful?’ She sighed into his lips. 

With a last peck, Bucky pulled away and fixed her with a concerned look. ‘I’m serious, Maggie, you don’t need to deal with this alone.’ 

She couldn’t herself, she kissed him again quickly. ‘We don’t have to deal with anything, love, I have a magical device called the ‘Implant’ which means we don’t have to worry about that sort of thing.’ Maggie sighed heavily as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind his ear. ‘Besides, Bucky, you could ‘jump’ any second. I don’t want to miss a minute of you because you had to run to the bathroom to grab a condom.’ 

It was like being doused in a bucket of freezing water. For a second he was back in Siberia, standing naked in the stasis chamber. Maggie’s words rang out like a bell. 

How could he have forgotten about the ‘jumps’? Or the cracked Infinity Verse?!

His eyes sparked with intensity as he pulled Maggie into his arms, so she sat across his lap. He crushed her to his chest and refused to let her go. 

‘ I won’t leave you. Not again. We’ll figure it out. I’ll find a way to stay for good this time,’  his voice was low and earnest, but strong and filled with a determination that could have flattened mountains.

‘Deal,’ Maggie huffed with amusement at his sudden action, offering him a business-like hand shake. 

‘Deal,’ Bucky replied, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. 

  
  


**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally it has happened. Its only taken 20 chapters, I did say that it was a slow burn. 
> 
> But how will it end? Will they manage to stay together? And don't forget that the remaining Avengers are working to Undo the Infinity Verse?
> 
> I would love to hear your theories. As also please comment, Kudos and subscribe. I really look forward to hearing from you. 
> 
> The next chapter probably wont be out until next weekend because I have a really busy week in the RW.


	21. Going...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘It really looks like luck is on our side here, with me about to ‘Jump’ any minute,’ Bucky grumbled darkly, raking his hand through his hair. 
> 
> ‘Hey, look, it's not fantastic but at least we found each other and by some ...I don’t know, by an unwritten rule of the Infinity Verse, we’re able to be with each other. I would say that was pretty good luck.’ 
> 
> Bucky cupped her cheek, fixed her with a fierce look. ‘I’m not going anywhere, I promise, I’m staying for good.’ 
> 
> ‘Who said I’d have you?’ She grinned muzzling into his chest. 
> 
> A selection of Infinity Verse Drabbles:   
> Day 2 Infinity Verse - Snow Globe  
> Day 3 Infinity Verse- Fever Dream   
> Day 4 Infinity Verse - Shadow  
> Day 6 Infinity Verse - Tease  
> Day 11 Infinity Verse - Croissants 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of smut in this chapter which I am not going to apologies for. 
> 
> ENJOY!

**Day 2 Infinity Verse - Snow Globe**

Once as a young man back in Brooklyn, he’d been caught in a blizzard. The city had been locked down as a mini ice age wept over the island for three weeks. The windows of his small apartment had frozen, lacy frost blocking out the street below. Huddled in blankets, the pipes had long since turned solid, Bucky had waited out the storm. But as the darkness closed around him and the cold made him tremble, the world fell away. It was as if it was just Bucky huddled in his sanctuary against a world of white and cold. 

But he wasn’t alone anymore. He had Maggie and she had him. 

He’d told himself that he’d stop counting. There had been no point in counting when jumps didn’t mean anything anyway. They weren't days or weeks, sometimes he couldn’t remember that last time he saw a night sky since most of people's memories took place during the day. 

He’d craved seeing the stars. It was one thing that hadn’t changed. The one thing that Brooklyn lacked, in Bucky’s opinion, was being able to see the stars shining overhead. Even on a cloudy night, from his cell in Siberia, Bucky could make out Andromeda, Ursa Minor and Hercules twinkling back at him. They weren’t just pictures in Steve’s stargazing book, no matter how many times they had sneaked on to the roof of Hawkins Diner, they had never been able to see them through the New York smog. They both had known that, but that wasn’t why they went. Sitting on stolen chairs with a bottle of root beer to share, they would watch the night sky and dream of what the future had in store for them. 

Little did Bucky know that he would find his stars, but his future wasn’t written in them. 

In truth, he’d told himself that he’d stop counting because there was no point, no hope of coming to the end of memories. In reality it had been too similar to the marks he’d scratched on the wall of his cell. The marks he’d made when he was still Sergeant Bucky Barnes, when he was still the man that Steve knew. 

With every jump Bucky felt more transparent. Atleast in stasis chamber he could forget for a little while about the pain and suffering he had caused. The Infinity Verse was not as kind, Bucky thought ruefully, at least in the chamber he didn’t have to see everything that he could have had. 

And then he’d found Maggie. And by some miracle she loved him. He clung to her as if she was his new centre of gravity. 

Her chilling words echoed around his mind like a foreboding bell. 

**‘** Bucky, you could ‘jump’ any second.’ 

He felt like he was standing in the garage all over again, watching Maggie hold a knife to her own throat as Metcalfe manipulated her. Steve fell from the helicarrier. He ripped off Sam’s wing and watched him plummet to the ground. Fury’s car flipped into the air. Metal gave way and Sergeant Barnes let himself fall. 

‘ I won’t leave you. Not again. We’ll figure it out. I’ll find a way to stay for good this time.’ 

And as God was his witness, he tried. 

Bucky’s plan needed to keep himself anchored to this memory somehow, keep him mind from wandering. In the past he was able to force a ‘jump’ by thinking about a memory that didn’t belong to that person’s timeline. 

Watching Maria Hill’s 15 year of self, sitting in a room filled with chintz and posters of boys, sobbing over a picture of a teenage boy that had just dumped her had been too much even for Bucky. He thought hard about something that was unconnected to Hill in every way. 

He didn’t know why he picked it but there was an antiques shop in Paris that sold green glass. He pictured himself standing in the foyer, watching the sunlight catch the green glass, casting emerald shapes against the wall above the old fashioned register. 

He felt himself jump, the familiar feeling of pins and needles rising up Bucky’s spine. But when he opened his eyes he found he was on a beach in Normandy. It wasn’t Paris but it was still better than Maria Hill’s adolescent bedroom. 

It wasn’t hard to keep himself anchored to Maggie. It felt like they had so much time to catch up on and yet nothing had changed at all. 

He was still that same man deep down, stuck in his apartment in the snow storm. Except this time he had Maggie and they were in a snowglobe, not a storm. Somewhere, far away, the world was still moving, but in the Infinity Verse, time stood still. 

They’d laid on the sofa for a long time, a blanket pulled over their naked bodies, idly exploring each other with their finger tips. It should have been strange, they were colleagues to friends, best friends and then somewhere down the line they had become something else entirely. 

He couldn’t get enough of her, jealousy, he craved her hands, her body, her heat. Her warmth burned away the memories of Siberia, the taste of her skin filled his starved belly, and her mouth… they kissed luxuriously, slowly, their bodies entwined on the sofa that they were yet to leave. 

‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’ Maggie murmured lazily, nosing along his jaw to kiss the sensitive skin there. 

‘I could say the same about you, you know?’ Bucky hummed in reply. 

‘I didn’t want to abuse my position of power, especially considering that I thought it was one sided.’ 

‘You really had no clue, did you?’ Bucky hummed, his lips pressed to her ear.

‘I… ‘ Maggie pulled back so she could look at him, a small embarrassed smile curling her mouth. ‘I thought I caught you looking, not wait... What’s the 1940’s term... ‘giving me the goo goo eyes,’ but I ..’ 

‘What cheesy Errol Flynn movies have you been watching?’ Bucky snorted with amusement. ‘No one said ‘goo goo eyes’ back in Brooklyn.’ 

‘You evaded my question very neatly but don’t think I didn’t notice,’ Maggie retorted, cocking her eyebrow. 

‘I did try and tell you that morning in Wakanda but you wouldn’t listen. Too busy saving the world to listen to a lowly grunt like me,; Bucky sighed, shifting Maggie in his arms so that she could lay on his chest looking at him. 

‘It was bad luck,’ Maggie protested weakly, but winked cheekily and put an open mouthed kiss on his ribs. 

‘It really looks like luck is on our side here, with me about to ‘Jump’ any minute,’ Bucky grumbled darkly, raking his hand through his hair. 

‘Hey, look, it's not fantastic but at least we found each other and by some ...I don’t know, by an unwritten rule of the Infinity Verse, we’re able to be with each other. I would say that was pretty good luck.’ 

Bucky cupped her cheek, fixed her with a fierce look. ‘I’m not going anywhere, I promise, I’m staying for good.’ 

‘Who said I’d have you?’ She grinned muzzling into his chest. 

‘I’m serious Maggie, …’ 

‘And so am I, Bucky, you shouldn’t make a promise that you can’t keep. You said that the longest you’ve ever managed to stay in one place was 3 days. If we only have three days together why not make them the best three days we can?’ 

Bucky knew that Maggie was being logical. But it didn’t sit right with him or his alter egos. Sergeant Barnes was latching on to the quiet domesticity that Maggie offered, she was a lighthouse in his storm. The Winter Soldier raged at the invisible force that was trying to take her from him. Bucky… well, now that he had found her, how could he ever let her go?

**

**Day 3 Infinity Verse- Fever Dream**

Maggie awoke slowly as the mattress shifted and the duvet was tugged away from her. Through sleepy eyes, she turned over and brushed away the hair that had fallen into her face. Dimly she realised that Bucky was no longer by her side. 

Since he’d first arrived in her memory, Bucky kept her safely tucked up in his arms so that she was draped over him. At first she had protested but when he would wrap his arms around Maggie’s body and let her use his bicep as a pillow... Who was she to complain?

However as her eyes accustomed to darkness, Maggie found her side cold and Bucky on the far side of the bed, tossing and trembling in his sleep. 

Maggie shimmied over to the far side of the bed, pressing herself against his back and running her hands along his arm, unwinding his hands from the blankets, whispering soothingly in his ear. ‘It's just a nightmare, Bucky, it can’t hurt you.’ 

Bucky flinched as he caught her hand in his, pulling it in front of his eyes as if he didn’t think it was real. Slowly, he rolled over to face her, their faces almost pressed together as the moonlight caught the terrified look on his face. His pale eyes were full of tears, dancing over her face as if he couldn’t see her and he let out a shaky trembling breath. 

Maggie brushed the hair back from his face and smoothed away the tears with gentle kisses. ‘It’s just a dream, love. I’m here…’ 

Bucky caught her wrist with his metal arm. Maggie fought back a wince, his grip was almost too tight. 

‘I couldn't find you. I was on my own and I couldn’t find you or Steve, it was just me in a place I didn’t know….’ Bucky whispered desperately, his pained eyes boring at hers in the darkness but not really seeing her. 

As if she was still a figment of his dream, he pulled her close, not daring to believe that she was real. He ran his hands up her sides and gasped against her lips as he kissed her forcefully, fiercely, drawing her mouth open as he carded his metal fingers through her hair. 

He’d been screaming into the void. Shut out in the storm, a ghost loitering against the glass. He needed to know that he wasn’t alone anymore. He needed comfort. Bucky needed to feel every inch of Maggie just to make sure she was still real. 

Maggie moaned as he gathered her hair in his fist, angling her neck so that he could kiss the delicate skin of her collar bone, breathing in scent. She could feel that he was desperately hard, pressing his length into her lower back, weeping through the fabric of his boxers. 

With one fluid motion, Bucky arched up, tilting her head back so that he could ravish her mouth; whilst in the same second, sliding his hand into her underwear and seeking her wet heat. His teeth nipped at Maggie’s lips as she writhed, grinding her hips back into his arousal. 

Maggie hissed as the duvet was torn away, cold air hitting her skin as Bucky frantically pulled her underwear down her legs and forced her thigh back over his so that he could plunge his fingers deeper. He teased her, arching his fingers so that he ghosted over the extra sensitive spot inside her. 

As if in a fever dream, his eyes were unseeing, Bucky was desperate to feel like he was no longer alone, take her warmth and hold it close. 

Maggie was almost beside herself with pleasure, crying out as she came around his fingers. But even as her body quaked, Bucky pressed his cock into her sensitive core and pulled her flush against him, anchoring himself with a firm hand on her hip. 

She was almost limp in his arms as he rocked his hips against hers, biting and sucking her neck, rolling her nipple between his fingers. Maggie babbled incoherently, begging him for more, her bee stung lips seeking his as her hands cupped the back of his neck. 

Had Bucky not been teetering on the edge of a dream he would have made sure he lasted longer, eked out Maggie’s pleasure more, but the adrenaline coursing through his system made it difficult to hold it off. He came hard and fast, pressing down on Maggie’s abdomen so that she could feel him cum inside her.

A moment passed and then another, the sound of their shuddering breaths filling the dark room. It was only when Maggie reached up to brush the back of her hand over Bucky’s cheek that the haze cleared. 

‘Maggie…?’ He whispered her name, blinking at her, frowning in confusion and then blinked again- the fog from his nightmare lifting from his mind. ‘Oh, God, I…’ he stammered as he looked down at their joined bodies. He pulled his hand off her hip as if burnt and eased himself out of her. 

‘It’s okay, Buck-’ Maggie began but had to bite back a hiss of pain as his body left her. 

‘How is any of this okay?!’ Bucky gasped in a hollow, deadpan voice, pulling himself to the far side of the bed and sitting against the pillows. ‘I forced myself on you.’ 

‘Hey,’ Maggie said sharply, sitting up and turning on the light. The duvet was pooled around her waist and her top half still flushed but she glared at him fiercely. ‘You did not force me to do anything!’ Maggie let her voice mellow slightly, studying Bucky’s pale face. ‘Trust me when I say that If I didn’t want you, I would say so. I am pretty good at saying ‘No’. It's not as if this is one sided, I also enjoy it, you know .’

All his turmoil was betrayed by how much he loved her. Her green eyes sparked, her chest rose and fell as she panted out the words, her dark hair a wild mess around her head. To Bucky, she had never looked more beautiful. 

‘I want you. All of you, Bucky, all the good, the bads and the inbetweens.’ And she kissed him. Starting gently on his cheek she slowly worked her way down until she could lay a kiss over his heart. 

***

**Day 4** **Infinity Verse - Shadow**

It should have been comical. Bucky had taken it upon himself to become Maggie’s shadow. 

She hadn’t said anything at first. She would get up to make a cup of tea, Bucky followed her, his hand pressed against her lower back. 

They would sit on the sofa reading, idly wasting the afternoon. Maggie held back a rueful smile as she watched Bucky, pass her hand from his left to his right so that he could have a gulp of coffee. 

As it lay outside of this memory, the Triskelion, the personnel, and wider world outside of Maggie’s apartment was frozen. Bucky described it as ‘being on the outside of their snow globe.’ 

Accountants and lab technicians were frozen, feet hovering mid step, as they hurried along corridors. Clocks had all stopped at 19:06, the same time that the Winter Soldier had held a gun to Maggie’s head. 

It felt strange as they explored the hallways and offices that had come to call home. Bucky hooked her arm around his elbow. She was grateful, the warmth of his body helped stave off the chill in her bones as they made their way through the silent building. 

However the absolute last straw was when he tried to follow her to the bathroom. 

‘Bucky..!’ Maggie snapped, though there was no real heat in her voice, pushing him back into the living room. ‘ I appreciate that being close helps to keep you from ‘going’...’ Maggie hesitated, giving him a wry shy. ‘But I’m going to the bathroom.’ 

‘Alright,’ Bucky sighed unhappily, retreating back to the sofa. ‘But if I start ‘going’, I’m busting down that door regardless of if you’re on the john or not.’ 

The thought genuinely frightened Maggie. ‘Please don’t even joke about that, I have a really nervous bladder.’ 

**

**Day 6** **Infinity Verse - Tease**

The fear of losing someone you loved made a person do crazy things. 

A part of him wanted to build high walls and barricade the doors, make a nest and keep Maggie hidden from the world outside. Another part of him wanted to bathe in her glow until the very last moment. 

But as the days passed, the ticking bomb in his mind eased until it was almost eerily calm. Hiding Maggie away, hoarding her so that she was his and his alone, made him little better than that bastard Metcalfe. And using her body to soothe him, taking from her: he had once been that man, but Bucky knew that feeling would only make him hungrier, greedier than he already was. 

The bubbles popped and foamed around them, candles dancing off the tiles as they sank deeper into the hot water. The scenting oils were heady and steam from the bath rising made Maggie’s baby hair curl into ringlets on the nape of her neck. 

‘Bucky, I can’t. I’m going to..’ Maggie moaned breathlessly, arching her hips into his fingers. 

He didn’t know how much time he had left. He didn’t know if he would jump in his sleep, or in the blink of an eye. But with every passing second spent with Maggie, the overwhelming feeling piercing through his resigned stillness, was that he would cherish Maggie while he still could. He would give her everything and he would memorise every moment. 

Maggie was laid against his chest in the deep water, her hands gripped the edge of the bath, her head thrown back in pleasure as Bucky played with her. Teasingly slowly, Bucky used his metal hand to circle her nipple. The hot water heated her skin making the cold metal send shivers up her spine. All the while his fingers caressed her clit, moving in time to the circles he was drawing on her breast. 

As she peeked again- for the 5th time? He couldn't be sure- , Bucky would sink his fingers into her core, her body clenching around him. As Maggie gasped and squirmed in pleasure, Bucky memorised every detail of how she felt to memory; every squeak that escaped her lips, every arch of her spine, every open mouthed kiss that she pressed to his skin. 

Bucky would remember it all. Because when he lost everything, at least he would still have this moment. 

**

**Day 11** **Infinity Verse - Croissants**

It was the 11th day in Maggie’s memory when Bucky finally jumped. 

Showering with Bucky was one of Maggie’s new favourite hobbies. The first time had been was on Bucky's 3rd day, when Maggie had stumbled into the bathroom, her knees wobbly, her body sore from the almost relentless love making. She sighed as the scalding water hit her skin, soothing her muscles and soaking her hair. 

As the door closed, Maggie poked her head around the shower curtain. 

Bucky stood yawning in the doorway, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. His boxers hung low from his narrow hips, a tantalising path of dark hair disappearing into the waistband. He blinked at her sleepily, a dopey smile on his face as he tried to tame a serious case of bed head. 

_ He looked like a goddamn snack! _

‘I didn’t mean to wake you,’ Maggie grinned, wiping water out of her face. 

‘I can’t remember that last time I slept for eight hours straight. You must have really worn me out,’ Bucky quipped as he perched on the sink, his eyes roving up and down her body appraisingly. 

Maggie smirked as she drew the shower curtain aside, letting him see her naked body. ‘Do you want to hop in?’ Maggie asked, giving him a cheeky smile. 

In a flash, his boxers were tossed away as Bucky stepped into the shower cubicle, grinning like a shark. 

Maggie hummed as he pressed her back against the cool tiles, kissing her slowly, tenderly running his hands through her wet hair. Maggie’s hands skimmed across his body, mesmerizing the curve of his chest, the valley between his ab muscles, how the water followed the V of his hips. 

As Bucky licked his way further into her mouth, Maggie reached down between them, meaning to take his hard cock in her hand. But Bucky entwined their fingers, twirling her deftly in his arms, so that her back was pressed to his chest. 

‘I made you sore,’ he whispered against her ear, the prickle of his stubble against skin making her toes curl. 

‘ **We** made me sore. 48 hours of amazing sex tends to do that,’ Maggie retorted, her voice thick and syrupy. 

‘Hmm.’ Maggie knew that Bucky was grinning, nudging her cheek so that her head rested back on to his shoulder. 

Using his metal hand, Bucky poured sweet smelling shower gel onto a sponge and with one firm grasp, spilled the bubbles over Maggie’s front and sending foam running down her body. 

‘Sshh, sugar,’ Bucky said breathily in her ear, running the sponge up and down her arms. ‘Let me take care of you.’ 

It had become their ritual. A gentle, luxurious way to indulge in each other. Often they wouldn’t speak, comfortably sleepy, they let the hot water slowly wake them up. Bucky would sigh as Maggie carded her fingers through his hair, working shampoo into his scalp. While he would use the strength in his hands to work out the knots in Maggie’s shoulders. 

Now that she wasn’t held at arm's length by ethical convention, Maggie was trying to introduce new little luxuries into Bucky’s daily routine. Head massages, scented oils, chocolate sauce...and if she benefited, then well wasn’t that a coincidence. 

‘Croissants-!’ 

‘Croissants…?’ Bucky paused with his t-shirt pulled up over his head. He looked remarkably like Michelangelo's  _ David _ . 

Maggie hummed at the sight of him before placing a quick kiss to his cheek. ‘Croissants, love, I’ll pop them in the oven.’ 

Maggie yelped and giggled as Bucky slapped her bum as she walked by. 

Running on her tiptoes to the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of knickers and a sleeping vest, Maggie turned on the oven to preheat and fetched the croissants out of the freezer draw.

They’d found them in the executive kitchen on the top floor. Since they were now effectively scrounging for food, having already eaten what Maggie had in her cupboards over the last 11 days. They had taken to ‘raiding’ the other kitchens in the Triskelion. There were still two more that they hadn’t hit. After that, they would have to go further afield. 

Maggie twirled a mug in her hands as she pondered whether to put on a pot of coffee or not. Croissants and coffee were a classic combination but she was English, and nothing could really beat a good cup of tea..

‘Maggie!’ A hoarse shout came from the bedroom as the door was flung open. 

Maggie’s breath froze hard and fast in her chest. 

Bucky’s metal hand clamped around the doorframe to the living room, the hydraulics whirling as he fought to keep himself up right. He looked so young. His lips were slightly open as they formed her name, his eyes bright with tears but with a choked chuckle, Bucky forced himself to smile. 

‘God, I love you, Maggie Isle. I love…’ His voice trailed off, as if he had been muffled by cotton wool.

Layers of his image began to drift away into the air, the sunlight reflecting off the Potomac River set his skin ablaze in golden light as Bucky began to ‘go’. 

A rogue thought flitted across Maggie’s mind.  _ This will be the last time you’ll ever see his face, Maggie. _

The mug rolled out of Maggie’s hands and shattered at her feet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cliff hanger!
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter shouldn't take too long to write, I'm hoping to post it on Sunday but in the in mean time please comment and kudos.


	22. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all- I would like to say that I accidentally wrote this chapter. I just couldn't leave it there, I felt like too much was still to happen. Which i show you have ended up with a load more drabbles. I won't lie, some are just for SMUT sake( I have labelled below) but others do have some plot in. 
> 
> Infinity Verse Day 12- Dallas   
> Infinity Verse Day 75- Luck Stripes  
> Infinity Verse Day 165- Strawberries (SMUT)  
> Infinity Verse Day 201- Dance Lesson  
> Infinity Verse Day 270- The United Empire of Earth  
> Infinity Verse Day 316- Stood Up  
> Infinity Verse Day 365- Anniversary (SMUT)   
> Infinity Verse Day 634- Winter Soldier  
> Infinity Verse Day 730- Last Engagement

**Infinity Verse Day 12- Dallas**

_ ‘God, I love you, Maggie Isle. I love…’ His voice trailed off, as if he had been muffled by cotton wool. Layers of his image began to drift away into the air, the sunlight reflecting off the Potomac River set his skin ablaze in golden light as Bucky began to ‘go’.  _

It was like hearing music drift in from another room. One minute Bucky was alone in his mind, empty, waiting to arrive at the new memory. He hoped to God that it would have Maggie in it, that he could find her again and try to salvage some of the damage that he had caused. 

And then he was just...not alone. It was a completely alien experience to explain. 

If your mind was a house, you sit alone in the living room looking out the window at the passing world outside. That is you, your mind, who you are. Bucky might not have been all there, he shared his house with his two other egos but they were still a part of him, belonging to his house. 

And then drifting from the back of his mind came a… not a wrongness, but an ‘otherness’. It felt like brushing velvet the wrong way, or putting your shirt on back to front. As if someone had just started playing jazz music in his head. It was mellow, calm but chaotic, vibrant. Something about it reminded Bucky of bare feet and long skirts. 

Bucky opened his ‘eyes’ as his consciousness fell into place.

_ ‘Where am I?’  _ A voice bloomed from somewhere within him. 

‘It looks like Dallas- ‘ Bucky’s brain froze. That hadn’t been his voice, he hadn’t thought that. He knew where he was. The voice that spoke, that was the ‘jazz’ playing in the mind: an extra consciousness. Not just any consciousness. 

‘ _ Bucky _ !’ Maggie’s voice gasped. 

‘How...how are we doing this?’ Bucky asked tentatively. 

_ ‘I have no idea, the last thing I remember was...I tried to grab on to you as you were ‘going’ and then THIS! _ ’ Bucky can sense her rising panic. Bucky’s head was filled with flashes of colour and sound. Yellow paint sprayed across a black canvas, the smell of burnt hair, numbness in his fingers. 

Bucky reeled as her emotions overwhelmed him. There was no filter, no way to hold her feelings back, they would pull them both down as Maggie’s fear grew. 

‘It’s ok, it will pass, just give it a few moments.’ His voice sounded calmer than he felt. 

There was a pause, Bucky could feel Maggie take a steadying breath before she spoke again. ‘ _ Are you in my head or am I in yours? I can feel you like _ -’ 

Instead of words an image appeared in Bucky’s mind. There was an old radio sitting by the side of a crackling fire, his voice hummed through the speaker as rain tapped against a window pane. 

Bucky struggled to pull himself together. With every image, emotion that Maggie accidentally sent him, he was pulled deeper into her emotions. Entwining them until Bucky didn’t know where he stopped and Maggie began. 

‘Whatever this is, I think we’re sharing our head space. Hold up, let me-’ Bucky imagined the music in his head, drifting through a pair of sliding doors and filling the living room with mellow jazz music. 

‘ _ Holy Virgin Mary! That was a full on sensory experience. I felt the cushions you saw yourself sitting on and were you smoking Luck Stripes? And I felt that…You’re laughing at me, I can feel your amusement, it's… it's warm, I guess _ .’ 

‘Maggie, I get that as a brain doctor this is your idea of the 4th of July but you’re gonna want to brace yourself, we’re coming in to land.’ 

‘ _ What? Wait, am I gonna lose yo _ u?’ A cold wave of sadness, a Sibernia wind. 

Bucky winced as the pins and needles spread through his legs as his feet hit the ground. ‘I don’t know. Just hold on as long you can.’ 

He felt his feet hit the ground. He stumbled slightly but a hand closed around his arm, holding him tightly. 

Bucky didn't want to believe it. He didn’t dare open his eyes in case the hand holding his was a figment of his imagination, taunting him. It wouldn’t be the first time that his mind played tricks on him. 

‘It’s okay, Bucky, I’m real. Or at least, I think I am.’ Maggie’s voice murmured in a half choked kind of way. He sensed her disbelief, her fear being brushed aside as joy- unrelenting joy- billowed up with her chest. 

And then she was there. Standing before him as she looked down at her herself, her tongue stuck out in concentration as she used her free hand to feel her body. Maggie was wearing a patterned dress with a full skirt and her hair fell in ringlets on her neck. 

But Bucky didn’t really see this. His brain couldn’t get past how real her skin felt against his arm. 

Suddenly a gun shot rang out and screams rose from the street below. As the memory finished building itself, the last shadows and light falling into place, they found themselves standing in a long hallway that appeared to be lined with offices. 

Maggie’s head spun as she tried to look in every direction at once. ‘Where are we?’ 

A muscle jumped in Bucky’s jaw, his teeth grinding together. ‘22nd of November, 1963.’ 

Maggie’s mouth fell open in a perfect ‘O’ shape as she reached for his hand, working to unwind his fist. ‘This is your memory?’ 

Almost in response a door at the far end of the corridor opened, silhouetted against the morning sun, the Winter Soldier marched down the hallway towards them. His head was bent slightly as he shouldered his rifle, walking with grim purpose as he reached the stairwell. 

‘You were so close,’ Maggie breathed, as she stared hungrily at the Winter Soldier’s face, his cheeks pale and drawn. ‘Why couldn’t we have got to you and helped you?’ 

Bucky could feel the despair rolling off her. It swelled around his mind like a thick fog. 

‘We should get undercover.’ Bucky heard her say, as he pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead as a headache sprung up behind his eye. 

‘They can’t see us.’

She reached for him, gently touching his cheek and smoothing a crease in his forehead. ‘I know but you’re sending me so much anxiety right now, I think I might throw up.’ 

He nodded grimly, taking her hand and began leading Maggie down the stairs and out onto the street below. It was hard not to get caught up in all the panic. Even though none one could see them, Maggie kept ducking her head whenever a police man passed too close, or someone ran by. 

As they made their way through the crowded streets, Bucky kept her tucked in closer to his side, trying hard to avoid getting bumped by people. With her raw emotions washing over him like a brutal wave, Bucky didn’t want her to have to go through the wrongness of having someone pass through her. 

Making their way through sleepy suburbs, people looked fearfully through their curtains as police cars drove by. Bucky stopped at the back entrance of a small house. With a quick look over his shoulder, he made quick work of the lock and stood back as Maggie stepped inside. 

Maggie didn’t have to ask. It was written across Bucky’s mind like blood on a wall. This was a Hydra safe house. 

It was small and clean. There was a living room, kitchenette, bathroom and bedroom. It would have looked normal except for the cache of guns, stacks of money and cupboards full of tinned food and RMEs. 

Maggie found her hands trembling as she tipped instant coffee into two mugs. Bucky was eerily quiet as he checked all the doors and windows again. He paced up and down, barely seeing her, his agitation rolling through their minds. It was strange to say the least. Maggie could ‘feel’ his thoughts in the same way she could smell the rain. 

She let her eyes glaze over as she stared down at the cup, breathing in the smell of cheap coffee and feeling the heat of the mug between her fingers. 

He appeared in the kitchen beside her and tried to smile as Maggie pressed the cup of coffee into his hands but it didn’t meet his eyes. His body was coiled like a spring, his shoulders and neck tense as a muscle worked in his jaw.

‘It’s a pity about the croissants, I bet they would have been really good.’ Maggie commented, trying to engage him. 

‘How are you here?’ Bucky asked suddenly, leaning against the counter top so that she was caged in his arms. ‘I need to know that you’re really here and...and that I’m not going mad.’ 

Maggie hesitated, biting her tongue as she studied his face. He was deathly pale under his dark swaths of hair, his eyebrows pulled together in a deep frown. He felt strained, not daring to hope. 

Lifting her hand, she gently laid it against his cheek and closed her eyes. 

  
  


_ The mug rolled out of Maggie’s hands and shattered at her feet.  _

_ Not yet! Not ever! Despair, pain, unbelieving, undeniable. Maggie couldn’t let him go.  _

_ Bucky's mouth moved but no words came out, the left side of his body already ‘going’. Sad eyes and thin lips forcing themselves into a smile.  _

_ Her legs were moving. Launching herself over the sofa, regardless of the broken china she stepped on and across the living room. FASTER! Bucky’s hand reached out for her, stretching his fingers to touch her… _

_ I’m not ready!  _

_ Her hands closed around his waist, digging her fingers into his skin and pressing her face against the crook of his neck. He felt warm under her touch, her tears fell into golden shimmers and floated away on the breeze.  _

_ And then she was gone. Just gone.  _

_ Maggie stood in a small apartment, Bucky's voice drifted through the radio… _

  
  


Maggie retracted her hand and let out a shaky breath. Bucky’s relief, fear, anxiety flowed through her mind. 

‘So you can ‘jump’ with me?’ Bucky asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

Maggie nodded. ‘It would appear so.’ 

Bucky looked away briefly, chewing the inside of his mouth. ‘And you’re really real?’ 

Maggie let out a huff of laughter as she stretched up on to her tip toes. ‘Do I feel real to you?’ She whispered before laying the softest of kisses against his bottom lip. 

Something snapped within him. He could feel Maggie’s lips against his, he could feel her body, feel her mind. There was no distance between them anymore, no fear of ‘going’. Bucky scooped her into his arms, lifting her off his feet and he crushed his face into her hair, breathing her in. 

He had been saying goodbye to her since he’d found her, memorising her for the dark moments that lay ahead. And yet, here she was…

Bucky set Maggie down on the kitchen counter so that he could smooth her hair away from her face, wiping away happy tears that were falling down her face. He let out a choked laugh as he tried to speak. 

‘Why...How did you manage to ‘jump’ with me? You don’t belong in this memory, so how are you even here?’ Bucky stammered, chuckling every so often as Maggie grinned back at him. 

‘Well, I’ve been toying with a theory for a while and it was only when I could put it to the test that it was confirmed. You said you’ve never been able to touch anyone before you landed in my apartment, right?’ Bucky nodded, feeling a little bit like he was back in the classroom. Maggie’s thoughts smelt like old books and pencil shavings as she began to think academically. 

Maggie hopped down off the counter and began to pace, gesturing with her hands as if she were giving a lecture. ‘Which begs the question, was it something in me or my memory that awoke that ability in you. Could we have been linked somehow?’ 

‘Like spiritually?’ Bucky frowned. 

Maggie shot him a withering look. ‘The dogtags! I was actually pressing mine when I fell and I guess that you were wearing yours. What if we’ve absorbed them and I don’t know...and the Infinity Verse has linked us up somehow and made you whole, like I acted like a key.’ Maggie hesitated, trying to put it into words. ‘On some level we’re still connected by the dog tags.’

‘It sounds science fiction enough to work,’ Bucky shrugged before hesitating. ‘But what about my memories, the first time I saw myself was in your apartment?’ 

‘I’ve been thinking about that too,’ Maggie began excitedly, drawing his hands to rest on her waist and pulling him into a cuddle. ‘There was a case in the 80’s where a man called Jeremy Beaverman had a terrible car accident and lost the part of his brain that builds retrograde memory...that means long term memory. He could only remember things for 15 minutes before he forgot them.’ 

‘Sounds like hell,’ Bucky said darkly. 

‘But when his wife visited him in hospital, he would play the piano for her.’

Bucky frowned in confusion. ‘But that's long term memory?’

‘Exactly! But his wife was the one who taught him. His brain associated her with the piano which allowed him to play. What if your brain associates me with remembering …’ 

Maggie could barely keep herself still, her mind was jumping so quickly from one idea to another all Bucky was getting was a whirl of images flashing in his head. 

‘Maggie, I don’t want you to see that stuff. It's one thing telling you about it but to let you see what I… I shot the President of the United States for Christ sake!’ Bucky declared desperately, dragging his hands through his hair. 

‘Hey,’ Maggie said softly, stopping herself mid pace so that she could cup his face with her hands. ‘I meant what I said. I want you. All of you, Bucky, all the good, the bads and the inbetweens.’ Maggie sighed deeply and pressed her forehead to his. ‘We could start with the good ones in Brooklyn? Retrace your past? Or if you don’t want to follow your memories,  I spent two weeks in Spain when I was 10, you fancy some sunshine?’ 

‘You think you can control a ‘jump’? Bucky asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

Maggie bit her lip. ‘In theory, I don’t see why not. We do seem to share a consciousness when we ‘jumped’ before. It’s drifting away slightly now but -’ Maggie made a vague gesture with her hands, ‘- when I was in your head, I felt every thought and emotion. So if you can ‘jump’ why wouldn’t I be able to?’

He laughed, Bucky couldn’t help it. ‘How on earth did you fall into my life?’ 

‘Actually, if anyone is to blame I would say it was Tony’s fault. If he didn’t hate you so much he wouldn’t have wanted you to have therapy and we wouldn’t have met.’ 

‘That is sobering,’ Bucky deadpanned. 

Maggie hummed as she leaned and kissed Bucky deeply. ‘Isn’t it just.’ 

**

**Infinity Verse Day 75- Lucky Stripes**

They laid a blanket on the gravel, their heads propped up on sofa cushions, bottles of beer scattered around them as they watched the sun travel across the sky. 

‘We deserve a break,’ Maggie had said that morning as thirteen year old Bucky had gone off to his saturday job at Ferguson’s Grocery Store. 

‘A break from being my own shadow?’ Bucky smirked. ‘You can count me in, sugar, if I have to hear my own voice break one more time I think I’m going to punch myself in the face.’ 

They laid out in the shadow of a water tower on the roof of his family’s apartment building, surrounded by billowing washlines and kids toys.

It was the first real break they had had in months. Jumping from one memory to another, they haunted friends and family as they travelled through old memories. Sometimes Maggie’s, sometimes Bucky’s; they spent the days people watching and their nights in each other's arms. There was no rhythm or reason to what memories they saw. They would hop from 1993 to 1923 when Bucky was a toddler, then to a school camping holiday that Maggie had gone to when she was 12.

The Winter Soldier’s memories were always dark and jumbled, they often stammered like a record skipping a beat, as if the memory itself was damaged. Bucky had come to terms with seeing these, reliving what he had been forced to do with steely resolve. 

It was seeing their friends which left a sour taste in their mouths.

Peter Parker raising his hand in a classroom half full of kids, smiling when he got the answer right. Sam Wilson swung a small girl in his arms. Fury and Hill sat on the bonnet of Fury’s car eating burgers and chatting. 

Bucky basked in the sun, his metal arm gleaming as he stretched out a hand, beams playing between his fingers. Bare chested, dewy sweat covered his skin in the heat of the midday sun. He stretched languabley, enjoying how the warmth felt on his stomach. 

Maggie couldn’t help looking at him. Scars and muscles and all, his was so beautiful she barely believed he was real. 

‘You’re going to finish the pack if you’re not careful,’ Bucky smiled, shielding his eyes from the sun. 

Maggie held a cigarette between her lips as she carefully stuck a match, not lighters in 1927, and passed it to Bucky. ‘I’m not going to sit about worrying about the long term health effects when ‘long term’ in the Infinity Verse is purely theoretical at this point.’ 

Bucky chuckled. ‘You’re a doctor, you should know better than to corrupt the innocent youth of today.’ 

Maggie wore bright red lipstick with her hair pinned in curls and black swimming costume was low on her back. She smiled indulgently as she sat up. ‘I doubt you were ever innocent and beside,-’ Maggie paused to blow a ring of smoke, ‘- they make me look cool.’ 

Bucky snorted, taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing smoke out the side of his mouth. ‘They were a special occasion treat if I picked up an extra shift and had a bit of cash to spare, or I would get a pack of clove cigarettes for Stevie if his asthma was acting up.’ 

‘You’re kidding me! You bought an asthmatic cigarettes?’ Maggie gasped

Bucky rolled over and propped his head up on his hand. ‘Clove cigarettes were supposed to be medicinal. Even pregnant women were prescribed them.’ 

‘As a doctor, I am horrified,’ Maggie frowned, shaking her head. 

‘Does that mean you’ll quit?’ Bucky asked, shooting her a knowing smile. 

‘Let me finish this pack first and then I’ll see how I feel.’ 

**

**Infinity Verse Day 165- Strawberries**

They were back in their apartment in the Triskelion. It wasn’t strange to be back, in fact it felt like they had just returned from a 6 month holiday. 

It did feel good to be able to change into her own clothes. Whatever memory they jumped into, their appearance altered depending on the construct. Maggie had spent most of the last 6 months wearing various vintage styles from dresses and stockings to some of the fashion disasters from her youth. She would have rather forgotten the summer where ponchos had been ‘all the rage.’

Although she wasn’t complaining, seeing Bucky all dressed up in his 1940’s suits and dark hair slicked back- well, he looked positively sinful. 

But she couldn’t deny that it felt fantastic to be able to throw on a pair of yoga pants and slipper socks once again. 

Maggie sat up, yawning loudly and rubbing her eyes. Having a break from ‘jumping’ meant that she could luxuriate in afternoon naps on the sofa. And not just any sofa, her velvet sofa. 

‘You’ve been holding out on me, Prince Charming, you never told me you could cook,’ Maggie asked, smiling as she got up from the sofa and padded to the kitchen where Bucky was studiously chopping strawberries. 

His dark hair was tied back in a low bun and he wore a short sleeved black t-shirt and a pair of baggy running shorts. 

He shrugged, shooting her a lop-sided grin. ‘Yeah well, Steve was helping me practice.’ 

Maggie frowned, reaching out and resting her cheek against the coolness of Bucky’s metal arm. ‘I could have taught you. I wouldn’t mind.’

Bucky continued to determinedly chop the strawberries, not meeting her eye. ‘I know but I kinda…’ He began hesitantly, colour rising in his cheeks. ‘It's embarrassing but... I kinda liked watchin’ you.’ 

‘Why? Because of memories? Do I remind you of when your sister used to cook?’ 

‘No!’ Bucky retorted quickly, his voice a little too loud, more colour rising in his face. 

‘You were trying to learn how I did things…?’ Maggie fished, watching his face closely until the penny dropped. She knew him too well for him to really hide from her anymore. Maggie wrapped her arms around his waist, stilling his hands, and caught his eye. ‘Oh, I know why. You liked to watch me bend over?!’ She exclaimed, pretending to be scandalised . 

Bucky let out a low chuckle. ‘I’m only human, sugar,’ He grinned, putting the knife down, he turned in her arms so that she could press her cheek to his chest. 

Maggie held him tight, breathing in his clean musky smell, gently laying a kiss on his collarbone and then slowly working her way up to the where his neck connected with his jaw. 

‘Plus, you have no idea how good your pins look in these...whatever these pants are supposed to be,’  Bucky whispered in her ear, dipping his head to nuzzle her neck,  slipping his hands down her lower back and grabbing her ass, pulling her flush against him so that his hard body was pressed against hers. 

Maggie yelped as Bucky’s hands slipped around her and hoisted her up to sit on the counter as if she weighed nothing. Bucky took advantage of her surprise to place himself between her knees, capturing her face in his hands and taking her mouth in his. 

With a teasing smile, Maggie eased Bucky back and, with a delicate hand, snatched a strawberry. ’I think I’m a bad influence on you, Mr Barnes. Apparently I encourage all sorts of -,’ Maggie paused, looking up at Bucky through her eyelashes, as she bit into the strawberry letting the juice drip off her lips. ‘-lustful behaviour.’

Maggie had been slowly introducing things into the bedroom. Bucky was by no means a slouch but there were still some 1940’s habits she had to break. Women instigating sex being a taboo that she had instantly chucked out the window. 

He let out a harsh breath that sounded slightly pained. His hands were steady as he slowly, almost tortuously slowly, dipped his fingers into the bowl that held the strawberries. With a steady hand on her jaw, Bucky painted the juice on to Maggie’s lips. His eyes watched hungrily as she moaned and opened her mouth wider, offering it to him. 

‘I want to try something,’ he almost purred the words as he pressed his mouth against her strawberry soaked lips, making her legs quiver and goosebumps rise on her arms.

The heady sweetness mixed with his masculine scent made an erotic perfume that sent her reeling. 

Maggie moaned as his hardness pressed against her core. His fingers trailed up her sides and they both watched as his clever fingers worked down the hem of her yoga pants, until they lay on the kitchen floor alongside her knickers.

Bucky’s eyes watched her body hungrily, his hands sliding along the skin of her thighs- Maggie whimpered as his thumb ghosted over her centre- before they continued up. Tight over her hips, soothing her stomach. He squeezed her breasts, kneading them before pressing an open mouthed kiss against the fabric of her t-shirt. 

‘I heard about this in France. They call it “ Baiser de l'amant”-, Maggie moaned and arched her back as he eased his fingers into her pussy. . 

His hands spread her thighs wider , and with a salacious smile, he knelt between her thighs. Kissing her stomach briefly before placing her knee over his shoulder and pulling her hips towards his mouth. 

She saw stars.

Maggie sank her fingers into his hair. She could feel his tongue inside her, moving circles around her sensitive bundle of nerves, pulling an array of different noises from her mouth as he worked. The only thing Maggie could focus on was the sound of his name spilling from her mouth piercing the silent room, louder and louder. The feeling of Bucky between her legs, building pleasure in Maggie’s core  as his tongue swirled around her and dived into her again and again.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ Bucky asked wryly, a small smile playing on his glistening lips, though his voice was breathy with lust and his eyes were dark and hooded. 

‘God, no,’ Maggie managed to gasp out, wrapping her other leg over his shoulder. 

Maggie swore she could feel him smile against her centre but fuck, she was beyond caring. He lapped up her wetness like a man dying of thirst. She could feel juices smear across her thighs as Bucky pressed her thighs wider, delving his tongue deeper, caressing her clit in time with his strokes. 

His beard scratched her thighs but it was this sensation that sent her over the edge. Maggie released so fiercely that she threw her head back and screamed as deep waves of pleasure washed over her. Sobs caught in her throat as bliss blinded her.

Her t-shirt was damp with sweat when Bucky got to his feet, pulling Maggie’s trembling body against his as the last throes of pleasure ebbed from her. 

‘I think you liked that, sugar,’ Bucky murmured, smiling as he brushed sweaty hair from her brow. 

‘You should cook more often,’ Maggie sighed, pressing a kiss against Bucky’s heart.

**

**Infinity Verse Day 201- Dance Lesson**

It was a very cozy sunday afternoon. It was one of the few days they had been able to have just curled up on the sofa watching a movie as the Welsh rain lashed against the windows of Maggie’s house in Cardiff.

They were curled up on the sofa watching  _ Singin in the Rain _ , 1952. Maggie had her head in Bucky’s lap, he idly stroked her hair, letting her plait slide through his metal fingers. It was hard to tell if Bucky was enjoying the movie. He often got lost in thought when they sat in front of the TV for long stretches. 

Maggie had chosen the movie because it was one of her ‘rainy day’ favourites and she hoped it might have piqued Bucky’s interest. 

‘Dancing was cheap. Steps used to be printed in the paper, we'd fish them out the trash and learn them in the living room. As long as you can dance, you belong in any ballroom, that's what Ma’ used to say. No matter how much we practiced, Stevie was still useless.’ He had told her during a jump to 1935. They watch his younger self lounge across a bar, barely keeping a smirk off his face, as Steve hopelessly attempted to chat up a girl in a green dress. 

‘I wish I could dance like that.’ Maggie sighed wistfully, watching Debbie Reynolds and Gene Kelly flit and twirl across the screen. 

‘That's actually not that difficult. They make it look fancy with a whole lot of show,’ Bucky commented, matter-of-factly. 

Maggie rolled on her back so that she could look up at him. ‘You’re saying you could teach me to dance like Debbie Reynolds?’ 

‘That's what I’ve been trying to do already-,’ Bucky huffed, smoothing her hair away from her forehead. ‘-but you’re too damn stubborn to learn.’ 

‘Yeah, but that was before you said I could look like Debbie Reynolds!’ Maggie protested, pouting slightly as she sat up, pressing herself against his side. 

‘You’re more of an Ingrid Bergman,’ Bucky commented thoughtfully before letting out a long suffering sigh. ‘But you’d have to take it seriously.’ 

_ Who knew that Bucky Barnes was such a pushover? _

‘ I will take it so much more seriously. I’m as serious as cancer when rhythm is a dancer- sorry, yes, I am totally serious,’ Maggie assured earnestly, struggling to keep a broad grin off her face. 

‘It’ll take time. It’s been a while since I properly tread the boards,’ Bucky hesitated for a moment before letting out a low chuckle. ‘I think the last time I properly danced was the night I left for the army…’ 

Maggie bounced on her knees as she threw her arms around Bucky’s neck, kissing him soundly on the mouth. ‘Well, we’ve literally got the rest of our lives for you to get me up to scratch.’ 

Bucky grinned and bit his lip. ‘I’ve seen you dance, Maggie, it might take longer than that.’ 

**

**Infinity Verse Day 270- The United Empire of Earth**

**‘** Well isn’t this fancy? Maggie gasped, turning on the spot as she ran her hands over her body, admiring the gown that she found herself in. 

It was a midnight blue silk gown that was so dark it was almost black. It hugged her body, Maggie looked like she had been poured into it. It had a bardot sweetheart neckline which pushed up her cleavage and left her shoulders exposed. Around her throat sat a collar of diamonds worth a king’s ransom. They pinched every time Maggie moved. 

If Bucky made her belly flip flop on a normal day- one of his cocky smiles usually did that- well, whatever he was wearing now made fireworks explode in her chest like it was the 4th of July. 

His hair was slicked back and tied in a neat knot at the nape of his neck. The dark blue of his military uniform made his skin look milky pale and his hair like ink. Gold brocade stretched across his chest and edged the collar blazer.

With his pale eyes and classically handsome face, Maggie couldn’t help but think that Bucky looked like he had stepped out of a Jane Austen novel. 

‘So, this is obviously one of your memories because I would never be allowed anywhere this fancy,’ Maggie commented lightly, tearing her eyes away from Bucky and studying the room they were in. 

Maybe a hotel suite? Possibly an art gallery of some kind. The ceilings were high and decorated like a french salon. The furniture was ornate and expensive looking, as if it wasn’t meant for sitting on. 

But what really caught her eye was the huge painting standing over the fireplace. Maggie blinked and blinked again as she realised that it was her own face staring back at her.

She was dressed in a high necked white gown, her lips looked like a scarlet knife wound across her face, eyes cold and dead as they stared down at her. A claw like hand rested on Bucky’s arm, his merciless features hard as stone: no warmth hid in his face. 

Towering over Maggie like statues of marble, emblazoned on a golden plaque at the bottom of the picture frame, was the wedding portrait of the Emperor and Empress of the United Empire of Earth. 

‘Bucky…’ Maggie stammered, backing away from the portrait as nausea rose in her chest. 

But Bucky was already at her side, pulling her against him as he tore open the door and pulled them out into the corridor. 

His face was feverishly pale, sweat appearing on his brow as a muscle jumped in his jaw. 

‘This was the vision I- Thanos showed you?!’ Maggie hissed at him under her breath as the jogged down corridors. Servants and security staff cowered as they passed, their heads bowed in fear and subjugation. 

Maggie’s steps hesitated as they rounded the corner into the Hall of Presidents…

_ Of course we live in the White House,  _ a cynical voice in her head sighed. 

‘Bucky, where are you going?’ Maggie asked, panting a little as she tried to keep up with his pace. Her stiletto high heels were not made for running around in. 

‘Hell, probably.’ 

Six armed security guards flanked a pair of white doors. They fell to their knees as Bucky urged her through the doors, his hand pressing against her lower back. As soon as she was through, Bucky slammed the door shut and locked it for good measure. 

Maggie stopped into the Oval Office, her mouth hanging open and her eyes as wide as saucers. In the centre of the room stood a 3D hologram of their universe, strategic points marked with purple lights. Each planet had a read out of its current population, military capabilities and other statistics that she didn’t recognise. 

Pictures of colleagues, people who she had come to be friends with flashed underneath each location, followed by their extermination date. 

_ Steven Grant Rogers:  _ _ 4/7/1918- 2/6/2020 _

_ Natasha Romanov: 19/10/1985- 2/6/2020 _

_ Nicholas James Fury: 3/3/1964- 2/6/2020 _

_ Eric Henry Banner: 20/12/1978- 18/9/2021 _

Maggie had to tear her eyes away from the list of names under Earth...

Bucky was facing away from her, his head bowed as he gripped the back of a chair, hard enough that Maggie could hear the hydraulics in his metal arm. 

Not a presidential desk but two thrones on a raised platform, facing the hologram of the galaxy. A purple flag with a fist hung over the fireplace.

‘The vision, the portraits..’ Maggie could barely speak for the nausea rising in her throat. ’You should have told me, Bucky, I had a right to know that I was in Thanos’ vision as well!’ 

‘There would be no point. I handled it!’ Bucky snapped, ripping off his military jacket and hurling it across the room. ‘This is just some sick, twisted thing that he implanted in my brain.’ 

When Bucky had said that Thanos had shown him a vision of the future, Maggie had imagined worlds of ash and destruction. This was warped, it felt so inherently wrong that Maggie wanted to wash it from her skin. 

‘I had a right to know! _ I am the Empress of the United Empire of Earth,  _ you didn’t think I have a right to know that?! _ ’  _

Bucky wheeled to face her, anguish and pain contorting his face. ‘And  **_I_ ** am the Emperor.He wanted both of us, Maggie.’ 

Maggie faltered, her vitriol weeping out of her as quickly as it had risen. ‘I understand wanting you, you're a brilliant soldier but why me?’ She said softly, placing her hand on Bucky’s back in a reassuring gesture. 

He didn’t turn to her. Bucky eyes were vacant as he looked out over Pennsylvania Avenue. The trees had been cleared away to make room for legions of soldiers marching in formation. Their feet echoing through the air in a stucco rhythm,  Chitauri airships and leviathans polluted the sky above. 

‘Because he knew that you could control me if I ever fought back. “ _ The Empress who controlled Thanos’ fist _ ,” was how he described it,’ Bucky growled bitterly. 

Maggie let out one harsh breath through her nose, her fists bunching into the exquisite fabric of her gown. 

‘Well, Thanos can fuck off!’ Maggie raged as she used both hands to tear off her diamond necklace, jewels spilling across the floor, shortly followed by her shoes, hurling them with all her might through the flickering image of the universe. 

It was petulant and childish but it felt really good, Maggie thought as she began pulling open all the drawers in sight. Turning the upside down so that the paper spilled over the floor. Getting on her hands and knees she searched through them. 

‘What are you doing?’ Bucky asked, eyeing her sceptically. 

‘You’re saying Thanos implanted this in your brain? So there might actually be some information about his master plan. If we ever get back it could come in useful to use against him. Now, put your photographic memory to good use,’ Maggie said over her shoulder, tossing him a dozen brown files. 

A lot of it was written in a language that Maggie didn’t recognise. It looked more like hieroglyphs than anything else, which made sense seeing that Thanos wasn’t from earth. The only english she recognised was hand written next to a picture of a shadowy being. It read ‘ _ Gala _ _ ctus _ ’. 

‘Maggie, I don’t think there is a way back for me…’ 

Maggie got to her feet, absently leafing through a file. ‘What do you mean? If it happens, it’ll happen to the both of us.’ Maggie frowning absently, tossing an empty file over her shoulder. 

‘I made a deal with Steve.’ 

Maggie looked up. Bucky was watching her face closely, his lips barely open as he spoke quietly. 

‘If it looked like we were gonna lose and … we need to make sure that I didn’t fall into enemy hands.’ 

_ Again. _ Neither of them needed to say it. 

‘The last thing I remember is Steve putting a gun to my head.’ Bucky said this almost apologetically but he wasn’t sad, it was just a matter of fact. He was probably dead, he accepted that this was the price he had to pay to keep the people he loved safe: to keep her safe. 

Maggie approached him, all the strength leaving her, the files fell out of her hands. ‘You said we weren’t dead….’

‘You’re not!’ He declared, trying to reassure her, cupping her face. ‘I just ...I think I am.’

She was suddenly fiercely angry. Not at Bucky, not really but the whole, unfair shit show that they had somehow found themselves in. Why couldn’t they have had a Meet-cute in the park? Or they could have been standing in the queue in the cafeteria, Maggie would make a joke about the coleslaw and Bucky would laugh, and that would be it; no Hydra, no Thanos, no Metcalfe. It could be so easy. 

‘No, you’re not dead. I won't allow it.’

Bucky smiled despite himself, he smoothed his thumb across Maggie’s brow, trying to ease the frown there. ‘I’m not sure you have a choice, Sugar.’ 

‘I will negotiate with God, if I have to,’ Maggie retorted but there was no real heat in her voice. 

Bucky pulled her into his arms and pressed his forehead against hers. Calming her, anchoring her. 

‘Actually, maybe that makes this heaven. This isn’t what I pictured but I can’t say I’m complaining about the company,’ Maggie hummed happily. 

  
  


**Infinity Verse Day 316- Stood up**

Maggie began to panic even before they could open their eyes.

Regardless of how she tried to hide it, Bucky could feel hot, uncomfortable, claustrophobic feelings swim around his head. He knew Maggie too well to think it was fear. 

Maggie’s fear felt cold and acidic, like a chill running up your spine. It had happened when they had ‘jumped’, landing in pitch blackness. For a chilling moment they both thought that this was it, Death had finally sorted through the fallen and come to claim them. But the moment passed, until with a trembling hand Bucky had reached out, forcing the door of the stasis chamber open. 

This was closer to embarrassment more than anything else. It made Bucky think of the first time he had a wet dream, or when he got an erection while dancing with a girl at a social. He could almost feel himself blushing as Maggie’s emotions washed over him. 

‘ _ Maggie… _ ’ Bucky sent her a probing thought just as their ‘eyes’ opened. 

They stood at the side of a highstreet, torrential rain made the street lights flicker and water splashed on the pavement as cars passed by. 

‘Wow, look at that!’ Maggie shouted in his ear, as soon as the ‘jump’ was complete. Taking his elbow, Maggie tried to steer Bucky down the street. But he was frozen to the spot, his eyes focused on a small figure huddled in the doorway, of what looked like a cinema, as they tried to keep out of the rain. 

She can’t have been more than 15. Her wet hair hung past her shoulders, pinned back with a bright clip. She wore a flowery dress that was so wet it stuck to her body. In one hand teenage Maggie held a pair of cinema tickets and wiped tears from her eyes with the other. 

Bucky allowed Maggie to turn him but gently grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at him. ‘Maggie, what is this?’ Bucky asked in concern, looking over his shoulder at the teenage version of Maggie crying in the rain. 

‘I didn’t want you to see this,’ Maggie said in a small voice, popping the collar of her denim jacket as she flinched away from the rain. 

‘Like I’m proud of everything you’ve seen.’ Hands dug deep into his pockets, Bucky frowned at her, refusing to move. 

‘Alright, fine!’ Maggie sighed resentfully, shifting from one foot to the other. ‘But let's at least get out of the rain.’ 

It was only then that Bucky allowed her to lead him away and up the street. Maggie obviously knew where they were because after a few minutes jogging through the rain, they stopped at a small cafe and slid into the first available booth. 

It was warm inside and humid, the air full of cooking smells. The lights were too bright and the kitchen was noisy, the radio was playing a Spice Girls song. 

‘The weather is so awful. It's raining cats and dogs. If I remember correctly this place used to make really good apple pie, maybe…’

‘Maggie,’ Bucky said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed her. 

She was trying to keep something from him. Her emotions still felt fresh in his mind. She had felt so mortified, repulsed by the memory. Bucky’s guts tied themselves into knots thinking about what it could be to cause such a reaction. 

Maggie fidgeted in her seat, looking everywhere except Bucky. ‘ I was stood up.’ Maggie whispered this very quickly and very quietly in the hopes that Bucky wouldn’t hear her. 

‘By who!’ Bucky gasped indignantly. 

‘Just...He was just some guy I met at school,’ Maggie stammered, colour rising in her cheeks, as she pretended to eye the desserts counter. 

The Winter Soldier within Bucky lifted his head, his eyes glinted. He watched Maggie’s unease keenly, noting how she couldn’t keep her hands still. 

‘What was his name?’ 

‘What does it matter now?’ Maggie laughed darkly, pretending to chuckle. ‘ It was Andy Jarvis, if you must know. He wasn’t my boyfriend so it doesn’t matter.’

‘I don’t care if Andy Jarvis is the second coming of Christ! If I get my hands on him I’m gonna beat him to a bloody pulp.’ Bucky declared so loudly they would have been kicked out if people could see them. 

Maggie gaped at him until a fit of giggles escaped her, some of her anxiety unfurling. ‘You’re not jealous of Andy Jarvis, are you?’ Maggie teased, arching her eyebrow. 

Bucky shot her a cocky, lop-sided grin. ‘I’ll be jealous of any guy that got the opportunity to take you out on the town,’ Bucky flirted, shooting her a sexy wink as he got up from his seat. He snatched two milkshakes from a passing waitress who was blissfully unaware of his thievery, and slid gracefully next to Maggie on her side of the booth. 

Maggie grinned. She couldn’t help it. This wasn’t just suave, 1940’s James Barnes; this was her suave Bucky Barnes, trying to make her smile. 

Sliding next to her, Bucky lifted her legs so that they were over his and wrapped his arm around her shoulders so that she was pressed against this side. 

‘So, what happened?’ Bucky asked, tucking a strand of her wet hair before her ear. 

Maggie concentrated on her milkshake. ‘I… I think I waited till the cinema closed and then-, Maggie winced, ‘- and then I walked home. I walked the whole 6 miles home in torrential rain and pitch black.’ 

‘By yourself!’ Bucky swore, nearly swallowing his straw. 

‘I didn’t want anyone to know, so I couldn’t call for a pick up and then, once I got home, I snuck myself in. It was supposed to be my first date, I didn't want Dan to find out and do something stupid,' Maggie protested weakly. 

Bucky made an unhappy noise as he chewed on the end of his straw. ‘So, was this ‘ _ Andy Jarvis’  _ -,’ he said the name with disdain. ‘- was he your first beau?’ 

Maggie grinned at the word ‘beau’. Cuddling closer to his side so that her head rested on his shoulder. He was like her personal comfort blanket. 

‘Not really. A few months later, I started seeing Jake Peters, who I’m sure you remember my lovely brother mentioning…’ 

‘Something about being caught _ in flagrante _ …?’ Bucky hummed, innocuously. 

‘Hmm, yes, there was that occasion. Luckily, we haven't had to relive that memory!’ Maggie grinned before using her fingers to count off. ‘Then I dated a few guys I met when I was at University but nothing really very serious, and then I met my ex-husband in medical school.’

‘And then me,’ Bucky murmured in a husky voice as he kissed his way along her cheek until he reached her lips. 

’ I guess we are going steady, right?’ Maggie grinned back, shifting her body so that she  could pull him deeper into her mouth. 

‘I think we’re a bit more than just going steady-’ he corrected, brushing her damp hair away from her neck, ‘- you’re my Best Girl; my old lady, my Moll…’ he punctuated every word with a soft kiss. 

Maggie thought her chest was about to burst. ‘Are you ‘Dizzy for a Dame’?’ she grinned, sliding her hand down his thigh as she nuzzled his jaw. 

‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ Bucky commented dryly. 

Maggie slapped his arm playfully. With a saucy look, Maggie pulled herself across Bucky’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as she could kiss his lips. ‘So what about you?’

‘I had a few,’ Bucky hummed. ‘ I am a simple guy. I like women who smell nice and have soft hair, so plenty of girls turned my head but like you, it was nothing serious. It helps that I didn't have two dimes to rub together, no Dame in her right mind would have pinned their hopes on me.’

Maggie arched her eyebrow sceptically. ‘You certainly know your way around the bedroom for someone who had nothing serious?’ 

‘Now who sounds jealous?’ Bucky chuckled and shifted her in his arms. ‘I said I had nothing serious, I didn’t say I was a monk. Flings weren’t exactly common but we didn’t have a lot to live for before the war and then when we went abroad people wanted to make the most of the time that they had left-’ Bucky turned her chin to stare into her eyes, ‘- but no, it wasn’t anything serious. I had plenty of Dames write to me. I got letters from all over, especially when the Howling Commandos became household names. I got letters from France, Italy, lots from England but I never had anyone, not really.’ 

‘Well, you’ve got me now. You're my Mr; my live-in-lover, my boy toy, my fancy man-’ Maggie arched up as she kissed Bucky deeply, her hands edging underneath his shirt. Bucky’s breath hitched as he tried to pull her back. ‘-or I could just call you my boyfriend.’ 

‘I like Mr,’ Bucky growled huskily, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. 

‘I thought you would somehow,’ Maggie sighed, smiling against his lips. 

**

**Infinity Verse Day 365- Anniversary**

Bucky didn’t know if he was in heaven or hell. It was a close call on both counts. 

Maggie had been over the moon when they’d ‘jumped’ to Avengers Tower that morning. It meant that they wouldn’t be spending their anniversary in a cell in Siberia, or wartime Vietnam or even 1930’s Brooklyn. They had the run of the Avengers penthouse and Maggie had been determined to put it to good use. 

She had been teasing him for what seemed like hours. Flirty touches ghosting up his body as she walked past, hot wet kisses against the back of his neck as they cuddled on the sofa, licking chocolate sauce from his fingers as he helped Maggie with dessert. At this rate, Bucky was ready to throw her over his shoulder and camp out in the nearest bedroom for the rest of the ‘jump’, Maggie however had other ideas.

The lights in the penthouse were low, candles gave the room a dewy glow. Bucky couldn't get comfy on the sofa, restlessly he shifted in his seat. He was sipping a whiskey when Maggie eventually stepped into the suit. 

The glass nearly shattered in his grip. 

‘Major Isle of Her Majesty's Armed Forces-’ she posed coyly against the doorframe, giving him a mock salute, ‘-reporting for duty.’ 

‘Major?’ Bucky managed to choke out a little hoarsely as Maggie stepped into the room. 

She was wearing what was supposed to be a 1940’s female military uniform, although her skirt was a little too tight, her lipstick and makeup would have been considered scandalous and her heels were down right perilous but Bucky couldn’t bring himself to care. 

‘That's right,  **Sergeant,** as a doctor I out rank you,’ Maggie grinned. 

With a flick of her wrist music started to play in the background, something that had 1940’s harmonies in. But again, Bucky couldn’t bring himself to care; he was mesmerised by the way Maggie’s hips swayed as she walked towards him. 

Bucky made a grab for her hips but Maggie retreated just out of reach. 

'Don’t touch,’ Maggie teased, biting her lips. Swaying her hips to the sound of the music, Maggie eased down the zip of her skirt and slowly, painfully slowly, teasingly, madingley slowly she pushed it down her legs and tossed it away with a flick of her high heel.

‘Bucky, darlin’-’ Maggie pouted, knowing exactly how she was torturing him as she bent over and touched her toes ‘- are the seams straight on my stockings.’ 

He was in hell, definitely in hell. 

The line of her stockings ran up her statuesque legs, black against pale skin. Just under the hem of her shirt was a glimpse of her pert little ass that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on. 

Tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, he nodded. 

‘That's good.’ Maggie smiled like a she-devil as she straddled his waist, bringing Bucky’s metal hand up to her red lips and pressing a soft kiss to each fingertip. ‘I was worried.’ 

Bucky gripped the edge of the sofa and nodded, not trusting himself to speak. With Maggie grinding against his lap with his clothes still on, Bucky wanted nothing more than to tear them off and take Maggie then and there, but he just gripped the sofa tighter and enjoyed the show.

Maggie always moved so beautifully no matter what she was doing. Every little movement was beautiful to Bucky, and to watch Maggie slowly strip in front of him was no exception. Heaven.

Maggie playfully nipped Bucky’s earlobe as she lustfully whispered indecent things, her clever fingers working at the stiff buttons of her shirt. ‘Maggie,’ Bucky whined, his fingers itching to rip the clothing from her body.

‘Soon, love,’ Maggie promised before slipping off Bucky’s lap. She stood in front of him, hips moving as she danced, pushing down her bra straps just enough to give Bucky a peek. ‘If we went to bed now, what would you do to me?’ Maggie asked, her voice playful but demanding. ‘How would you take me?’

Bucky’s hands were tugging at his hair so hard that the hydraulics in his metal arm whined. ‘If you keep doing that, I’m gonna lose control, Sugar.’ 

Maggie tutted as she walked towards him. ‘Then maybe we need to-’ Maggie pretended to look for the right word as she crouched on her knees before him, ‘-relieve some of that tension.’ 

He threw his head back as Maggie licked Bucky through his boxer shorts. Her nails bit into his skin briefly as she pulled the clothing free of his legs. Then, and only then, when she had free reign did she take him in her hand. 

‘Bucky, watch me,’ Maggie coaxed as licked her red lips and eased them over his tip, slowly sinking down his entire length. She hummed around him, sending shivers to his toes, her cheeks hollowed as she pulled her mouth back up.

He was in hell. 

Every part of Bucky was on fire. Fiery bliss. Every time he was close, Maggie would alter her rhythm, blow cool air on his weeping head, lick the length of his shaft- just enough to stave off his orgasm. 

The Winter Soldier in him roared with approval. She was his submissive mate. 

Sergeant Barnes knew he was a lucky fella to get a good girl like her. 

Bucky knew differently. This was her gift to give to him. It was another way to show him that her love came without conditions. 

‘Baby, I'm gonna finish,’ Bucky choked out, trying to pull her away but Maggie was having none of it. She arched up protectively, swallowing him, soothing her hands up his thighs as he cried out. 

‘Holy Fuc-’ Bucky’s cry was lost as he bit into his arm, his breath coming hard and fast. 

Maggie pressed one last kiss to his stomach before getting up and perching on the coffee table, nonchalantly taking a sip of Bucky’s abandoned whiskey. ‘Happy Anniversary, Bucky,’ Maggie said genuinely, smiling as she watched Bucky’s blissed out face.

'Once my soul returns to my body, I'm gonna do ...I'm gonna do everything for you...thats just...WOW, ' Bucky struggled to form words. 

***

**Infinity Verse Day 634- Winter Soldier**

‘Run through the plan one more time.’ 

‘Not again,’ Maggie protested, poking at a ration pack with her spork. 

‘Please, Maggie, just one more time,’ Bucky demanded as he paced up and down the Russian bunker. 

They had been waiting for this moment for weeks. In truth Bucky would have put it off indefinitely if he could have but as soon as they had landed in a Hydra facility in Siberia, Maggie had been unmovable. She felt that this environment would be the most conducive to the hypnotherapy. 

‘I put us under. Once I’m in your head, you will release the Winter Soldier and I will talk with him,’ Maggie reeled off for the 6th time. 

‘And if he becomes violent, or tries to touch you, or starts saying things you don’t want to hear…’ 

‘I use the preselected code word and pull us out.’ 

Bucky stopped mid-step. ‘And what is the code word?’ 

Maggie smiled as she sat cross legged on the makeshift bed they had made out of scavenged blankets. ‘Utah, of course.’ 

They had begun with  a  [ hypnotic induction ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnotic_induction) involving a series of preliminary suggestions. Maggie would make a pendant of some kind and hold it up to the light so that Bucky could relax his eyes on it. She wouldn’t usually have ever dreamed of using hypnotism. Maggie wouldn’t even use it on her regular patients but Bucky was different. The time that they spent in each other's heads allowed Maggie to map his cognitive pathways. They were such a labyrinth that forcing a ‘jump’-like state would be the only way for Maggie to straighten out some of the damage left by Hydra. 

‘You ready?’ Maggie asked, watching his face closely for any indecision. ‘You can always back out of this, Bucky. You know, you’ve got nothing to prove to me.’ 

He bit his lip. ‘Do you really think it will help with my memories?’ 

‘After seeing how your mind manifests itself and the fact that you are ‘holding’ the Winter Soldier in a cage suggests that you are literally locking a part of yourself away. You may not want his memories but they are a part of you and he might carry memories that Sergeant Barnes gave to him. By calling you ‘brother’, that shows the role that he plays for you.’ Maggie spoke calmly, trying not to do her ‘doctor’s voice’ that she knew Bucky had come to recognise. ‘I’m not saying that there won't be risks but I do think the benefits could outweigh them.’ 

Bucky paused, hands in his pockets. After a moment’s hesitation, he laid down on the palate with his head in her lap. 

She waited until he got comfy and rested the tips of her fingers against his forehead before she began. 

_ ‘The sun is going down _

_ 1...2...3… _

_ The moon has risen _

_ 1...2...3… _

_ Stars are shining _

_ 1...2...3… _

_ All is quiet _

_ All is safe…’ _

Maggie opened her eyes. 

She was standing in the kitchen of Bucky’s mind-house. It was the manifestation of his consciousness, how he saw the world around him and kept things safe in his head. Maggie was already familiar with his home. ‘Jumping’ had allowed her brief glimpses, rooms were associated with memories, ghostly voices often called through the hallways. Some doors wouldn’t open, others were black and white like an old movie. 

Maggie reminded herself that she wasn’t here to explore. 

There was a door to the side of the kitchen. Bucky had purposefully left it unlocked, Maggie pulled it open and descended the stairs. 

The cellar was pitched black save for one dirty window that allowed through a hazy beam of light, hitting the Winter Soldier’s face as he watched her step into his cage. There was a bed that was neatly made and a sink, nothing more. With a jolt, Maggie realized that this is the closest thing to a ‘home’ the Winter Soldier knew. 

Maggie held her hands in front of her to hide the slight tremble as she took a step towards where he sat. It was cold, her breath rising as a fog in front of her face. 

He looked exactly as he had done all those years ago. He wore his leather tactical gear, his hair was lank and unwashed, his metal arm was scratched in places. The smell of sweat and gun oil was heavy in the air. 

‘Hello, Winter,’ Maggie said softly. ‘My name is Maggie Isle.’ 

‘I know who you are.’ His voice was low and hoarse, rough from lack of use, but not without intelligence. His eyes had yet to blink as he watched her. 

Tentatively, Maggie took a step forward. ‘I am glad. I was hoping you would talk with me.’ 

He frowned as he got to his feet. Silent, any noises seemed to be muffled in his quiet world, he approached her until he stood too close, appraising her from every angle. He did not leer though, it was more like a farmer with a prize cow or a mechanic looking at a new engine. 

He had the same face as Bucky and yet, it was almost like looking into a warped mirror, something in the way he titled his head or held his shoulders Maggie could tell them apart. 

‘Why talk?’ He huffed, his breath disturbing the hair on her neck.

‘Bucky has told me about how you helped save me, I wanted to thank you in person.’ 

He watched her back, a strategic vantage point. ‘I can do nothing with thanks. Save them for my brother.’ 

She had prepared for this. Over the past months they had discussed the psychology of the Winter Soldier. From what memories Maggie had seen of that time in Bucky’s life; he’d had his humanity stripped away, his memories, his likes, his dislikes, everything that made him human had been taken. He had reverted to an animal-like state of need. He looked at things with animal eyes, keeping his nest safe, fulfilling his missions to secure his food source. He needed things presenting to him in black and white. 

‘May I get to know you then, Winter?’ 

Winter looked around his cell with discontent. What could he do with that? It would not feed him, or give him an advantage over his enemies. 

_Plan B._

‘Would you like to come upstairs with me?’

‘I am not allowed,’ he replied autonomically, retreating into the far corner of his cell. 

‘Bucky has given his permission, we can go upstairs together if you like. There is food and it is warmer upstairs.’ 

Winter appeared to hesitate, shaking his head. ‘I am not my Brother.’ 

Maggie knew what he was trying to say. He was warning her, telling her not to expect him to act like Bucky. This gave her hope. 

‘I am aware of that. That's why I am asking you and not him,’ Maggie smiled kindly as she backed away to the stairs and slowly made her way up. 

She took in a steadying breath as she sat waiting at the kitchen table. Two glasses of milk and a plate of shortbread had appeared as planned. 

‘I would like to share these with you,’ She asked, pushing the glass across the table. She hoped it was a gesture that he could understand. On such a basic human level, sharing food was about sharing trust in someone. In the animal kingdom she would be offering her throat to a superior predator in return for protection. 

He stood at the doorway to the cellar, eyeing the corners of the kitchen like a wounded animal. ‘Why?’ 

‘Because it is what friends do.’

He seemed unhappy as he sat down, shifting in his seat, his tactical leather jacket making him sit awkwardly. 

‘We are not friends. You are ours.’ 

**_Oh._ **

Her fear must have echoed through the house because Winter looked up suddenly angry with frustration. 

‘No, not like the red haired man!’ Winter barked it like an order, he ground his teeth. ‘He did not understand…’

‘What didn’t he understand, Winter?’ Maggie probed when Winter’s voice trailed off. He was agitated, not meeting her eyes. Winter snatched up the glass of milk, sniffed at it, and then drained it. 

Automatically, Maggie pushed hers forward with the plate of biscuits. 

‘You...have been good for us,’ he choked out as it was difficult to speak. ‘I have a mission now. Bucky gave me a mission to protect you and when he breeds you, my mission will be to protect them too.’ 

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.  _ Huh, I did not see that one coming…. _

‘You would like us to have children?’ Maggie asked, her voice a little higher than she intended. 

‘We are stronger as a pack.’ Winter commented, as if he was speaking about the weather. 

Maggie began tentatively. ‘And Bucky is stronger with you. I would like it for us to live together ...as a pack.’

Something in his eyes flashed. ‘It is part of the Mission?’ 

‘If you would like it to be? A pack is stronger when it works together.’ 

Winter stared at her, his mouth opened and then closed. For a second Maggie could almost see Bucky staring back at her. 

He dropped his eyes like a dog flinching.  ‘ No one has ever asked what I wanted before...’ Winter murmured, his voice so low she could barely hear him. ‘...like I am a person.’ 

Winter hesitated for a moment before reaching across the table and touched Maggie’s arm lightly with his fingertips. He pulled it back suddenly as if he was burnt but his eyes were wide with wonder. 

_ Is this the first time he touched someone without being told to? _

A familiar billowing feeling swelled in her chest. ‘I would like you to be part of our _ family, _ Winter, I feel safer knowing that we have you with us.’

‘Family?’ 

**

**Infinity Verse Day 730- Last engagement**

Bucky let out a long shaky breath. His hands trembled. He braced them on the edge of the sink as he looked at his reflection. 

When had he become such a coward? 

The moment when Maggie had given him the dog tags, hearing her laugh as she read on the sofa, trying to save his life when they were kidnapped by the Yakuza… In truth he could not really pinpoint the moment, or the time when he had begun loving Maggie, he only realised that when it was staring him in the face. 

How could he ever go back to what he was before? No, it was unthinkable, he couldn’t tell where his heart ended and hers began. 

There was a horrible, erratic thumping in his chest, as if a large bird was trapped inside Bucky's rib-cage and beating itself to death, as he pulled the ring out of his jeans pocket.

He’d snatched it from his mother’s jewel box and had been carrying it around ever since. Carefully wrapping it in his hand or slotting it on his little finger when they ‘jumped’. 

The silver band was so thin and delicate, the stone definitely smaller than what Maggie deserved. He could barely fit it on his little finger, and yet it felt like a 10 tonne weight as he tried to keep it from the forefront of his mind when Maggie was in his head.

_ I’ll do it today _ , he said to himself.  _ Come on Bud, after all the shit you’ve been through, you can ask a gal to marry you. No sweat! _

Within the confines of the bathroom, Bucky mapped out his approach like a military exercise and ultimately failed. 

“Maggie Isle” he’d say in a dashing way  _ …Kneel...then the ring..or is it the ring then kneel? _

_ “ _ Do you want me to make an honest woman of you? _ ”- Nope, Ma would spin in her grave if I started out like that.  _

_ ‘ _ I haven’t got a dime to rub together or a future, I ain’t even got a bank account. All I got is what you helped me find.’  _ \- Better but still no cigar.  _

_ Goddammit, Steve! Where are you when I need you?!  _

At the thought of Steve a memory flared up in front of his eyes, followed by a wave of sadness. 

_ Steve is silent for a long time. His fear and his anger hang like a mist in the air but when he speaks to Bucky’s back, his voice is so gentle it wrenches his heart.  _

_ ‘You need to tell her, Bucky. If this does go south and I … You have a chance to say goodbye to Maggie. Don’t make the same stupid mistake I did and…’  _

_ Bucky cuts him off as he pulls Steve into a bone crushing hug.  _

Bucky couldn’t help but smile regretfully. Wherever Steve was now- at the other end of the galaxy or on the other side of the Infinity Verse, he still found a way to be cleverer than him. 

After giving his hair a nervous pat, Bucky slid the ring back into his jean pocket and stepped out of the bathroom. 

They had ‘jumped’ to the log cabin by the side of Lake Morrison. Rain lashed the windows and fire jutted as the wind howled down the chimney. 

_ It's perfect _ , a voice said in the back of his head, sounding like a mix of Steve, Wanda and Nat.

Maggie jumped when she saw him, giggling as she passed him a cup of hot chocolate. ‘Honestly, some days I think you’re purposefully trying to give me a heart attack.’ She stood on her tiptoes to press a chocolatey kiss to his lips. 

Bucky frowned, his hands went to her shoulders, pulling her back slightly. ‘You feel hot?’ 

‘Well, thank you…’ Maggie grinned and bobbed her eyebrows, chocolate smudged on the edge of her mouth. 

Bucky ignored her and pressed the back of his metal hand to her forehead. ‘I mean it, are you coming down with something?’ He asked with concern. 

‘I’m feeling a bit … widdleywobbley,’ Maggie conceded, shrugging her shoulders. 

‘In English, please?’ Bucky deadpanned. 

Maggie tutted and went to sit on the sofa, pulling her knees to her chest. 

Now that she was closer to the fire, Bucky could see she was pale under the feverish blush covering her cheeks. 

‘Just out of sorts but I’ll be fine. I was bound to catch something at some point, we have been in the Infinity Verse for two years now,’ She reassured, patting the space on the sofa next to her. 

Actually they'd spent three years in the Infinity Verse but Bucky didn’t want to think about the year he’d spent as a ghost. 

‘Anything I can do?’ Bucky asked softly as he sat down, brushing hair away from her sticky forehead. 

‘Hold me tight,’ Maggie sighed, letting her body slump against his side. 

‘I can do that…’ 

Maggie hummed as Bucky pulled her close, his arms around her shoulders as he smoothed back her hair with his cheek. He smiled thinking back to the last time they'd been here. If he had known then that the next time they came to the cabin he would be holding Maggie, soothing her, planning on asking her to marry him in the morning, he would have said you’d had too much bathtub gin. 

They both settled on the sofa as the fire crackled merrily. Blissfully unaware that as they held each other; the world, the construct, images and memories that they had yet to travel were unravelling, seeping into the void like nothingness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is going to be the death of me. 
> 
> Fear not more chapters are coming. This is not the end. 
> 
> It may take a little longer because I have a lot of work stuff at the moment but hold on to your hats, - more twists on the way. 
> 
> Also please comment, kudos and subscribe. I would love to hear which drabble has been your favourite so far.


	23. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve grasped Bucky’s elbow, his blue eyes searched his friend's face as he spoke quietly. ‘Go to her.’ He had never sounded more sure of anything in his life. Any other person would have jumped at the order. But his voice was soft, calm so that only Bucky would hear it. It was meant to be a goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter massively got away from me. Its a beast but I'm not sorry.
> 
> \- Major Isle- Doctors in the army are all Majors which is why Maggie is introduced as a Major. Unfortunately she is not stripping this time. I know which situation she would prefer.  
> \- MRAP - mine resistance ambush protected vehicles, AKA, BIG ASS cars with gun turrets.  
> \- There is a lot of violence and gore in this chapter as you can expect.

It was like coming out of a deep sleep that you didn't realise you had fallen into. The ground was cold and hard under her body. Her lower back ached as if she had been laying on it for some time. 

Someone clicked again, the noise of snapping fingers in front of her face made Maggie automatically flinched. Opening her eyes she winced away from the glaring fluorescent lights, a dark haired figure was leaning close to her face. He smelt like expensive cologne and melted wax. 

‘Dr Isle. Dr Isle-,’ the man clicked again, this time close to her ear. ‘I need you on your feet, Dr Isle, we don’t have much time.’ 

Maggie groaned, holding her head as she sat up,looking at Steven Strange with one eye as she closed the other against the headache that had sprung up. 

‘I think I have a concussion,’ Maggie groaned, holding the back of her head. There was a sizeable lump where she had hit it on the floor. 

‘It’s not as simple as all that I am afraid. Thanos won, Doctor, you glitched-,’ Dr Strange wore an impatient yet sympathetic grimace on his face as he pulled her to her feet. ‘You have effectively been non-existent for the last three years. You are experiencing symptoms of the glitch.’ 

With a strong arm around her waist, Dr Strange frogmarched her down the hospital hallway that she dimly remembered. They passed interns and wounded patients in similar states of confusion. Some wandered aimlessly not knowing what to do with themselves, others- similar to Maggie- were clutching their heads as pain spasmed through their craniums. 

‘Any chance you’re a hallucination caused by the concussion?’ Maggie heard herself ask as she stepped onto the air plane hangar bay. 

Maggie had never been fond of Steven Strange even at the best of times. Professionally their paths had crossed when he was a brash, domineering, arrogant neurosurgeon in New York. A few years later Maggie had met him again in Washington. He was still a brash, domineering and arrogant but now he was a wizard- because those were a thing now, apparently. And what frustrated Maggie even more was that he had the power to see into people's minds and help them, and yet he chose to use his gifts for ineffable, higher purposes instead. Maggie found it maddening. 

‘Unfortunately not,’ Strange commented grimly as he pushed her towards a large group of military personnel that were milling about uncertainly. 

‘This is Major Isle,’ Dr Strange said tersely, by way of introduction as she was pushed forward towards a senior officer. 

The woman was in her mid to late thirties and wore a general's stripe on her American military uniform. GNE. D. ACER was printed neatly on her breast pocket. 

Marine, Maggie noted distantly. Her headache had abated slightly only to be replaced with churning nausea in her stomach. 

‘Actually it’s just Dr Isle, I’m not in uniform anymore,’ Maggie corrected as she stuck her hand out to the women. General Acer took it and shook it once firmly, in a businesslike manner. 

‘But you never really leave, Doctor, which is why you are here and not in some cozy practice in Harley Street.’ Her accent had a Portland twange but her voice was hoarse like a smoker. Her face was sunburnt and stern, her silver blonde hair pulled back into a severe bun at the base of her neck. 

‘Very true,’ Maggie smiled tightly. 

‘Can we progress with the niceties, please, the fate of the known universe does depend on the actions of the next few minutes. I think we can forgo decorum,’ Strange said tightly, his hand to his forehead as his eyes moved rapidly under his eyelids. 

Maggie gave herself a little shake, swallowing down her wave of nausea. ‘Ok, catch me up, what do you need from me?’ 

Maggie felt like her body had moved very far very fast and her brain was only just catching up. It was as if her mind was rebooting, she saw herself getting off the plane, the medical bay, the crowd of people running for the evac helicopters. And then there had been Bucky… Bucky had apologised, they were friends again but ….was he still in the field? Had he glitched? Had she really been gone for three years?

With a few taps on a data pad, a hologram flickered into life. It showed the Wakadan Citadel, the medical bay and barracks where they now stood and a swarming, heaving, sprawling battlefield below. 

_ Ants. It looks like it had been overrun with ants, _ Maggie thought, the horror of it making her nerves jarr like gears in a wheel. 

‘Thanos is here,-’ Acer pointed at the crowded battlefield. ‘We’ve thrown what we can at him for now but he’s got aerial defences that our F22s can’t get past. You ran the Medical Bay in the previous offensive, is that correct Dr Isle?’ 

‘That is correct. We were falling back, barely holding the helicopter pad when the-,’ she struggled to find the word. ‘-when the glitch happened. We took heavy casualties. Our OR and trauma bays were overrun within a matter of minutes once the enemy was engaged. You’ll need all field medics to have armed response teams with them...’

‘We don’t have those types of resources…’Acer began but Maggie cut her off, her mind and adrenaline finally catching up with her. 

‘We are not dealing with a typical enemy here! The red cross means nothing to these aliens, to the Chitari this is extermination. They do not follow the Geneva conventions. We were evacuating the medbay before the glitch, I would presume that it will not be long before we have a similar circumstance…’ Maggie’s voice died in her throat. The pain that had been pressing against her heart was slowly moving up her throat until she could barely breathe. 

Her hands balled themselves into fists as she choked out the words.

‘Dr Strange, I might ask that you concentrate your resources on protecting Vision and Sergeant Barnes. If Thanos feels threatened I do not doubt that he will try to deal us a heavy blow and withdraw before we can have a decisive victory.’ 

Strange didn’t even bother looking up from his meditation. ‘I have transported nearly a thousand extra personnel into the field, I think we’ve got him.’ 

‘Are you really going to gamble on that fact?’ Maggie snapped suddenly, her frustration and confusion making her lash out. ‘It worked  **_so_ ** well for you last time, didn’t it? If Thanos gets away and grabs Bucky on his way out, Thanos will return with an army of enhanced soldiers.’ 

Strange cocked his eyebrow but didn’t open his eyes. ‘I think your personal feelings are getting in the way of your professional opinion, Dr Isle.’ 

‘And I think your ego is clouding your judgement. Tighten your cape, because you may have to do some dirty work for once,’ Maggie retorted, baring her teeth. 

With a frustrated sigh, Strange opened his eyes and turned them towards the hologram, pointing to the medical bay closest to the field. ‘I could maintain a portal to transport the wounded to hospitals around the States?’

‘You may as well give the Chitari a first class ticket to Washington,’ General Acer retorted dryly, eyeing Strange like the gum on the bottom of her boot. 

Maggie felt a wave of affinity with General Acer. This was a woman who knew a theatre of war when she saw one and a jumped up civilian like Dr Strange was not going to undermine her authority. Plus, Maggie really enjoyed the indignant look that passed over Strange’s face. 

‘The issue is, General, is that at the rate wounded were coming in we could not maintain a safe parameter. We need to be a fully working field hospital but with the enemy so close to our doors we became an easy target. We need to treat as many in the field as we can before bringing them in.’ 

General Acer thought for a moment, her lips pursed as she surveyed the hologram. Suddenly, she looked up at Strange expectantly. ‘I presume I have carte blanche of this operation?’ 

‘Anything that is within my power to provide,’ Dr Strange commented benignly. 

‘Good. I would like MRAPs taken from Fort Brag and all available Rangers from Fort Benning…’

‘Her Majesty's SAS based in Hereford would also be up for the job-,’ Maggie added, turning to General Acer. ‘I’ve worked closely with them before, they would never forgive me if I didn’t recommend them.’ 

‘Very well. Did you hear that, Strange, the SAS too while you’re at it.’ 

‘I already have them on standby, General, what are their orders?’ 

‘Dr Isle, prepare all available field medics. I want each MRAP to have a medical team by the time the vehicles have come through Strange’s portals.’ 

‘You’re using them as a quick response force?’ Maggie asked, blood starting to pound in her ears. 

‘That is my intention. If what you say is true, then it might be the only way of keeping the wolf from our door,’ Acer noted, her hands clasped behind her back as she surveyed the hologram. 

‘How long have I got?’ Maggie asked Dr Strange. His face was suddenly strained. 

‘Less than 10 minutes.’ As he said this several golden portals opened along the helicopter pad, soldiers and vehicles pouring out of them. 

**

It was just like the old days. Running on adrenaline, heavy boots on her feet, hair pulled back into a tight bun at the base of her head. Maggie’s chest felt constricted in her bulletproof vest, ‘MEDIC’ emblazoned on the front with white tape. She pulled her shoulders back as she surveyed the countless faces looking back at her. Some looked pale, scared at the sudden call to arms. Others shifted and jumped, loosening their limbs in preparation. 

Maggie stood next to Acer on the roof of a MRAP, as the General addressed the troops and medical staff. Her hands clasped behind her back as if it was just another pep talk. 

‘This will be the offensive to end all offences. For those who remained, the last three years have been fraught with heartache and much sorrow, we mourned the people who are now standing at yours shoulders-’ 

At this Acer’s audience looked at their neighbours. Some had tears in their eyes, others smiled and winked. Maggie had yet to fathom what had happened during the three years she’d glitched but the heaviness in the atmosphere left a bitter taste in her mouth. 

‘But today, we have the unique privilege of righting that wrong. We have a second chance to bring our loved ones, our friends, our lovers and families home. The evil we faced three years ago stands outside our homes once again, and today...this day! Here and now, we shall face him with our eyes open.’ 

A deafening cry went up. It was full of desperation, anger, pain...emotions whirled around those men and women in a maelstrom. Three years worth of blood, sweat and tears were pent up in these people’s cries for vengeance. 

‘Three years ago, a handful of heroes tried to save the universe. Today they shall not be alone. Today they stand shoulder to shoulder with Americans-’

‘ORAAH!’ The American soldiers bellowed in unison. 

‘Her Majesty's Armed Forces…’ 

The British joined in with calls of ‘God Save the Queen!’ and ‘WHO DARES WINS!’ Maggie grinned despite herself as her old friend Corporal Jonathan McInroy from the SAS pulled out a set of bagpipes, only to have them unceremoniously wrestled away by some of his more embarrassed colleagues. 

‘Wakand...’ Colonel Acer smiled as she was interrupted by roars of ‘WAKANDA FOR EVER!’ 

‘....and medical professionals from all over the globe. It is here, together where we draw the line in the sand. Now, it is my honour to pass you over to Major Maggie Isle, who will give you your orders.’ 

Maggie’s tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth as she stepped forward.

_ What an act to follow...  _

A few friendly faces gave her smiles but in the sea of strangers she felt very much alone. Maggie found she was looking for one face with pale blue eyes in particular but she knew he was not there. 

‘Thank you, General Acer-’ Maggie cleared her throat. ‘You have already been separated into teams of four. Driving MRAPs, each team shall accompany two medical personnel into the field, where you shall provide medical aid and transport all non-emergency wounded to the extraction point at the airfield. Any life threatening trauma that needs immediate surgery should be brought to the medical bay where you shall be received by one of my colleagues. Any questions?’ 

‘Can we engage the aliens, ma’am?’ A Ranger who was sitting on the bonnet of a HUMV called. Many voices cheered in agreement. 

‘Your primary mission is the extraction and treatment of wounded combatants who are already in the field, however-’ Maggie paused for effect, ‘if you were to run over a couple of the bastards in the process, who am I to object.’ 

A roar of approval. 

‘Is it true that the Avengers are out there?’ 

There was deadly silence. The soldiers watched her with bated breath. 

Her throat constricted. ‘The Avengers are in the field, yes.’ 

‘All of them?!’ 

There was a pain in Maggie’s chest. ‘Yes, soldier. All of them.’ 

***

Lightning. It tasted metallic on his tongue, sparks of electricity flew up his arm stinging his nerve endings, Bucky let the spent magazine fall to the ground as he reloaded his machine gun. 

In all his wildest nightmares, his fever dreams, his darkest waking horrors, Bucky had never imagined this. 

His body curled around his weapon, his trigger finger had a mind of his own as the snarling, rabid monsters rose up again and again. Snarling teeth, putrid breath. 

The Winter Soldier was at his side, hand resting on his shoulder, guiding each shot, each bullet to land on its target. Bucky was barely aware of him. They needed to work together on this but let the Winter Soldier enjoy the bloodbath. Bucky didn’t belong here anymore, the gun felt wrong in his hands, the recoil jarred his shoulder. This wasn’t where he belonged anymore. 

And yet, he was fighting anyway. Bucky fought for the future he now had. He fought for the time that had been lost to him. He fought with dark vengeance in his heart and boiling hate but if this was to be his last battle as Dr Strange had said, then he would make it such a battle that it would put the blood that he split for Hydra to shame. 

And then, Bucky would finally be free to go home. 

‘Hey Barnes, do you copy?’ Wilson’s voice crackled through his comm. 

Bucky wrestled an alien to the ground and forced his metal arm into its gnashing mouth and down its throat, the hydraulics whirled as he hawled himself back, ripping the jaw away from its body. He let the skin and tendons fall to the ground. ‘I copy, Falcon.’ 

‘Cap needs back up, he’s making a play for Thanos half a click northeast of your current position…’ 

Bucky was already running, using his shoulder as a battering ram he ploughed his way through lines of Chitari soldiers. Vaulting over an overturned MRAP that lay on its head in the sandy dirt. He found the Rodent- Rocket, crouched by a human body, blood matted into his fur. They shared a heavy look as gun fire rattled around the shell of the vehicle. 

‘I need covering fire,’ Bucky said, holding out the gun to the creature. 

Rocket stared at the rifle, his dark eyes wet with tears as his small, bloody paws reached for the handle. He sniffed once, thickly. ‘It would be my pleasure.’ 

With Rocket on his six, Bucky made his way across the field. It was slow going, even with their enhanced abilities and weapons, the Chitari swarmed them on all sides. 

_ Let them come, I shall fight them all _ ! The Winter Soldier grinned savagely, blood in his mouth. 

_ Dying is not an option. Our mission is to survive, _ Bucky reminded the soldier, trying to pull back some control as he launched a grenade into an advancing line of aliens. All the while Wilson’s voice pounded his ear drum, urging him to move faster. 

_ Our mission is to survive _ , the soldier nodded slowly, reluctantly but not unhappily. Bucky caught the smell of shortbread, milk and the lingering warmth of sunshine as the soldier’s memories mixed with his own. 

Maggie, he was thinking about Maggie. His Maggie. Their Maggie. Survive this. Get through this last battle, save Steve, find Maggie, start fresh, start anew, build something, together, be a family…

_ Family _ , the Winter Soldier agreed, taking a firmer hold of his gun. 

‘Where the hell have you been!?’ Sam wore as he flew overhead. 

As they approached the treeline, Steve came into view, Bucky’s heart stopped. 

The Captain stood tall and resolute - as if he hardly noticed how Thanos towered over him, as his knees buckled. Blood gushed from a cut on his forehead, blinding his right eye, his breaths were harsh and stunted, his ribs cracked. 

He was a young, thin man, standing alone in an alley, fists raised as Benny Daniels towered over him. Bucky heard the punch land before he saw it, rounding the corner of the cinema, he saw Steve’s body hit the ground and his vision narrowed, darkening as his pupils focussed on the hulking figure standing over his friend. 

Rocket shouldered his gu n,  the M4A1 Assault rifle fed by 30-round magazines of 5.56mm rounds. It recoiled, spitting bullets into the air. Alien bodies hit the dirt, purple blood sprayed Bucky’s face. Feet pounding, chest pitching, his metal arm closed around the double edged sword that lay forgotten at Thanos’s feet. 

Steve’s eyes widened as he launched himself into the air, Sam firing from above, Bucky’s feet connected with Thanos’s back. The blade swung. 

For a split second it could have been all over. Bucky could have set down his guns and started a new life. In that moment, as Bucky swung that blade towards Thanos’s neck, one drop of black blood danced along the edge of the sword- mockingly. 

Thanos was too fast. 

With a snarl, Thanos caught the blade in his hand, wrenching it away. Bucky kept his feet, wrapping his metal arm around the Titan’s neck and pulling with all his might. While Steve raised Thor’s hammer, the clouds boiled, churning, lighting split the sky as Captain America channelled its power. 

Bucky threw himself clear at the last moment as Steve hurled the lighting, like an exploding star, tearing a scream from his lips as the bolt hit Thanos square in the chest. The air sparked and singed Bucky’s hair, blood in his mouth as he stumbled to his feet, his hand automatically reaching for his knife. 

‘Bucky…’ Steve’s voice trembled slightly, his legs failed him as he tried to pull himself up, falling in the dirt. 

Bucky’s legs moved of their own accord as his best friend struggled to stand. He didn’t speak until he’d lifted Steve’s arm across his shoulder. ‘Look at the mess you get yourself into when I’m not around,’ Bucky smirked. 

Steve coughed, blood splattered the dirt. Weakly he lifted his head, smiling at Bucky as if he had hung the moon and stars. It had been a long three years without his best friend. ‘And think how much worse you would have made it if you were here.’ 

Sam landed next to them, his face shiny with sweat and streaked with gunpowder. ‘As much as I would love for you guys to have a big, sloppy family reunion. We have bigger, much more purple problems to deal with,’ Sam smirked, though it did not meet his eyes as he looked past them. 

Out of the corner of Bucky’s eye, a mound of muscle and thick limbs heaved itself up. 

‘Purple bastard just won’t die,’ Rocket noted grimly, tossing Bucky his rifle. The rodent had somehow managed to get his paws on a rocket launcher- Bucky wasn’t going to ask him how. 

Thanos eyed them coldly, flexing his fist experimentally as he spoke into a communicator before striding forward. ‘I should be thanking you. Truly, Earth has been a planet of surprises.’ 

Steve pulled himself to his full height, Bucky noticed the blood drain from his face. ‘I’m glad we’re keeping you on your toes-,’ Steve stepped away from Bucky, squaring his shoulders as he would to any other Brooklyn bully. ‘Now, why don’t you call off your dogs, so I can show you some surprises of my own.’ His voice was full of fake defiance, he barely had the strength to stand. 

Thanos’ cruel mouth curled at the corners. ‘I think not, Captain, I have seen more than I need to. Your defiance is tiresome but humanities potential obedience is intriguing,’ he paused, letting his words hang in the air. His dark eyes fell on Bucky, watching him hungrily. ‘Metcalfe didn’t know what he had. Humans are small thinkers, it takes a person of vision to temper that.’ 

‘And you're a person of ‘vision’ ?’ Steve’s voice is heavy with disdain but Thanos doesn’t even blink, his eyes had not moved from Bucky’s face. 

‘Sergeant Barnes knows my vision, he’s seen the future that I promise.’ 

‘Bucky, what is he…’ Sam began but Thanos took a sudden, jarring step forward just as four beams of fiery light hit the ground behind Thanos. The ground shook. Dust kicked up into the air. 

Four figures, eyes terrible cold blue. Metal weapons attached to the ends of their limbs, alien and humanoid, all empathy gone from their dead faces as they stared at their prey. They were wrapped in black armour. They awaited Thanos’ instructions like puppets. 

The Winter Soldier recoiled, baring his teeth like an animal sensing a coming storm. He knew monsters when he saw them. These things held no pity, no remorse, no intelligence, only death and their mission.

Thanos smiled now, face curling into a ugly smirk as he greedily watched Bucky’s growing horror. ‘Let me introduce you,  _ Emperor _ , to your first recruits. The beginnings of your army.’ 

Bucky felt more than fear. It was the rushing, surging, churning cold you get in your bones when you miss step on a cliff edge. Cold water churned underneath him, the knife fell, the hammer smashed against the heel of the bullet. Eerily calm, his mind careened, all noise of the battle field drifted away until the world around him was dark. All reason was gone. All he knew was that he would end it one way or another. 

He remembered the other Winter Soldiers, driven mad by the serum, put down like animals. These… creatures, half formed beings that awaited Thanos’ to breath life into them. Hallow, shells cast in Bucky’s shape. All that he had been, they were and more. 

The battlefield was muffled, distant cries of pain echoed, Thanos enjoyed Bucky’s fear. 

‘God help us,’ Steve breathed, a tear falling down his face.

‘This isn’t an army-,’ Bucky said suddenly, his voice weak at first but he found his strength in Steve’s arm around his shoulders. Teeth bared as he eyed Thanos’ soldiers coldly. ‘If this is your army, where are the rest of them? Metcalfe couldn’t get serum to work without me and neither could you. I am prepared to die to stop you using me but you know that already don’t you.’ 

‘Which means you’re stalling for time.’ Steve finished for him, standing straighter. 

Thanos huffed, shaking his head sadly. ‘I knew you were clever but you’ve missed one key detail. Sergeant Barnes, you may be prepared to die, but, I bet you’ve kept the good doctor in the dark about the part she has to play. Tried to protect her. Foolish, you will beg me to take you before the end.’ 

Thanos called over his shoulder, ‘Find the woman. Take her to my ship.’

Bucky had barely time to register when Thanos began advancing. Steve braced himself. 

The four abominations suddenly animated, jumping to attention at Thanos’s words. They bowed to their master, then without a second glance, sprinted in the direction of the hospital. Deadly grace, like crocodiles moving through murky water, they were made for killing: made in his image. One stretched out his two tentacle-like limbs, flashing cold silver in the sun, impaling a Wakandan warrior and pinning him to the ground. He tossed the body aside with an absent flick of his wrist. 

‘Medical Bay, this is the Captain, you have enemies in-bound. Evacuate immediately!’ Steve spoke frantically into the communicator on his wrist.

He was met with static. The comms were down. 

Steve grasped Bucky’s elbow, his blue eyes searched his friend's face as he spoke quietly. ‘Go to her.’ He had never sounded more sure of anything in his life. Any other person would have jumped at the order. But his voice was soft, calm so that only Bucky would hear it. It was meant to be a goodbye. 

The Winter Soldier wanted to tear himself away, run wildly to Maggie’s side and rage against any enemy that dared to threaten his pack. 

‘No, you need me here-.’ Bucky refused to leave his friend to die. ‘You don’t have to do this on your own.’ 

Thanos’ footfalls made the earth shake. 

Bucky’s grey blue eyes didn’t leave Steve’s face. ‘He wants to split us up.’

Steve’s hand gripped Bucky’s forearm painfully. 

‘I’ll go,’ Sam stepped forward, loosening his mechanical wings. ‘ I’ll get a message to Maggie to evac and then I’ll be back. Hold out…!’ His last words were lost as Thano swung his fist. 

*** 

‘Mind the fucking space whale!’ McInroy screamed, grabbing the steering wheel, hauled it to the right. 

Automatically, Maggie grabbed the stirrups overhead to keep herself on her feet. 

‘McInroy, I saw it, I saw it! Now would you stop being such a back seat driver and concentrate on shooting some bloody aliens!’ Merc spat back. McInroy and Merc were exactly like Maggie remembered, best friends but argued like an old married couple. 

‘I am shooting the aliens but try not to get us killed first!’ 

‘Maggie, tell McInroy to stop backseat driving.’ 

Maggie hesitated as she administered a local anaesthetic in the back of the MRAP. ‘McInroy, stop backseat driving.’ 

‘Then tell Merc that he needs to shut up and shoot some bloody aliens!’ 

‘Merc, shut up and shoot some bloody aliens,’ Maggie parroted, grinning down at her patient who chuckled at the exchange of his drivers. 

The Wakandan’s injuries were mostly superficial. The alien tooth embedded in his leg had missed any major arteries and a graze which ran down the right side of his face. Maggie had administered saline, pain relief and a shot of  diphenhydramine in case the tooth was poisoned. 

It was just like the old days! Ballroom Blitz by Sweet blasted through the sound system. McInroy and Merc road upfront, Caesar tapped his foot to the beat of the music while he manned the turret 50CAL gun, Fives worked the comms, while Little Johnny did what Maggie told him to do in the back of the MRAP that was acting as a emergency response vehicle. 

‘Aboiye, can you tell me how you are feeling?’ Maggie asked, checking the Wakandan’s BP and making a note. 

‘My leg feels like it's been bitten by a rabid alien…’ 

Maggie grinned and smirked at Little Johnny. Patients fell into two categories- ones who thought they were comedians and ones who were comedians. 

‘But what's really killing me is my head!’ Aboiye frowned,flinging away his traditional blue cape and clutching his forehead. 

Maggie leaned forward. ‘Where exac…’

‘Who chooses to listen to Sweet in the middle of a warzone?!-’ The crew of the MRAP bark with laughter as Aboiye sat up, continuing his tirade about the choice in music. ‘If you are going to choose 70’s rock, you pick ACDC or nothing at all!’ 

Merc leaned back in his seat, completely ignoring the three aliens he was running over. Overhead Caesar’s F50 kicked out a dozen bullets. ‘Hey pal, I’ll have you know that the Sweet are a British 70’s classic.’ 

Aboiye considered this a moment. ‘May I offer an alternative?’

‘You can if you stop moving your leg,’ Little Johnny grumbled, picking at Aboiye’s bandage. 

Aboiye ignored the young soldier's remark. ‘1970, Black Sabbath, War Pigs.’

A crooked, toothy smile that made Merc look runtish broke over his face. He turned back to the wheel. ‘McIroy, you heard the man, fire up the Spotify!’ 

‘Hold up!...’ Fives hesitated, listening to his headphones.The crew were immediately silent, a drill they’d done a thousand times in dozens of combat zones. They were a well oiled machine. ‘We have hot incoming, barring 5,6,34 northeast. Friendly in need of immediate recovery,’ Fives called. 

Three things happened at once. 

Merc pulled hard on the wheel, the MRAP’s wheels lifted, sending Maggie sprawling as they landed. Little Johnny, who actually was 6’7, caught her with one hand and dragged Aboiye’s stretcher to the side, making room for the new arrival. 

Caesar suddenly called down from the crow’s nest. ‘I don’t fucking believe it! It's actually one of the A Team!’ 

Maggie’s stomach suddenly clenched. 

‘...Anyone got a pen, I want a signature. This dude is so cool…’ 

‘Prepare for extraction.’ McInroy shouldered his weapon, Little Johnny’s hand rested on the door handle. Maggie crouched by Aboiye’s side. 

‘Contact contact contact!’ Urgent cries from Caesar as the 50 CAL kicked back, hostiles in active pursuit, friendly taking fire. Nightmare Scenario. 

The bay door opened, McIroy jumped from the door as it was still moving. Well oiled machine. Maggie only glimpsed a pair of flying claws and gnashing teeth before Little Johnny shoved the nose of his gun down its throat, blowing it away, before a body was hauled into the back of the vehicle. 

Maggie stared at the newcomer for a split second, her flushed face reflected in his sunglasses, as cogs jammed in her brain. 

‘Sam!’ ‘Maggie!’ They shouted at the same time. 

Sam pulled her into a bone crushing hug, knocking the wind out of her. ‘What the hell are you doing here? I was coming to find you at the medical bay?’ 

‘They have enough surgeons but not enough ER doctors…’ Maggie gasped, squeezing him back. A small knot of anxiety easing a bit in her belly. 

‘Maggie couldn’t live without us!’ Merc hollered. 

‘She missed our manly charms!’ McIroy beamed, black blood smeared across his face.

‘I rolled with these jokers in Afghanistan,’ Maggie said almost apologetically to Sam, as Merc blew kisses at her. ‘Lil’ Johnny, Caesar, Merc, McInroy and ...Aboiye, please meet my good friend Sam Wilson...aka the Falcon.’ 

‘Can I have an autograph?’

Little Johnny shook Sam’s hand like he was hammering a nail but spoke to Maggie. ‘You didn’t tell me you knew an Avenger? When did this happen?’

‘You’re kidding me, right?’ Sam gaped, eyeing the soldiers sceptically. ‘She knows all the Avengers. Maggie works with us, she’s practically dating one…’

‘I am not!’ Maggie squawked indignantly, her face turning into a sweaty beetroot. 

‘Who! I bet it's Thor!’ Little Johnny piped up enthusiastically. ‘He’s so dreamy.’

Maggie pinched the bridge of her nose. 

‘Nope, my moneys on that shiny fella with the cape,’ Caesar called from the turret. 

‘Enough!’ Maggie snapped before anyone else could speak. Fives closed his mouth regretfully, ‘Sam, what's the plan? Do you have a spare pair of wings?...Have you heard from anyone else?’ 

‘Take us to the evac point!’ Sam ordered Merc before turning back to Maggie. ‘To tell you the truth, if there was a plan, I don’t know it. Dr Strange woke me up and chucked me through a portal. Steve was wrestling Thanos single handed, Bucky’s got his back…’

‘Bucky’s with him?! Did...did he glitch? Where’s Fury? If there was a man with a plan it's him, we should find him…’ 

‘I don’t know anything. All I know is that we need to get you to the evac point first, you can’t be here, Maggie-’ Sam got to his feet and leaned over Merc’s chair, speaking quietly in the soldier’s ear.

The vehicle surged suddenly, Merc hunched over the wheel, not taking his eyes off the path he ploughed from the field. 

‘Hey! I’m not going anywhere,’ Maggie protested, lurching against the momentum of the vehicle. 

‘Yes, you really really are!’ Merc replied, lips pulled over his teeth as he gripped the steering wheel. 

‘Hey, Wilson! I’m the senior officer in this rig, so if you want to start ordering me about you’re going to damn well explain yourself,’ Maggie demanded, her hands curling into fists. 

She was not about to mention that technically she was not in uniform so actually had no authority over matters of combat. The boys knew her well enough to know that she was bluffing.

Sam shot her a tight look. ‘Thanos has sent some goons after you, they’ve gone to the Medical Bay. We’ve got to get you out of here now!’ Sam shouted with frustration, grabbing on to a stirrup as the MRAP rocked wildly over the uneven terrain. 

Maggie’s brain kicked into overdrive. Everything went quiet as her brain buzzed.

‘Fives, tell the Medical Bay to be on high alert. Ask Acer to redirect forces and tell her there is an unknown enemy inbound. Then notify Arctic Team 2, we’ve got a combatant that needs evac.’ 

Aboiye let out an audible sigh of relief. 

‘Hold up! We’re taking you to the evac site!’ Sam protested. 

Fives pulled his ear away from his headset. ‘Arctic Team inbound, 2 minutes.’ 

Caesar ducked his head down into the main cabin of the car, shooting Sam a crooked smile. ‘You obviously don’t know Maggie  **_that_ ** well. The Doc thinks,’ He assured, nodding emphatically. 

Sam turned to her, arching his eyebrow. ‘You’ve got a plan?’

Maggie hesitated, clenching her teeth. ‘I have a ...sort of plan, but only if the boys agree to it.’ 

McInroy checked the scope of his machine gun. Merc pulled the strap of his helmet tighter. Little Johnny grinned at Sam as he passed him the assault rifle, ‘Who dares wins.’

Sam was lost for words, so instead he smiled and shrugged ruefully as he accepted the gun. ‘Who dares wins.’

***

‘I really should get my license renewed,’ Maggie said to herself as a Chitari fighter hit the windscreen. Absently, Maggie popped on the wipers, smearing the purple blood across the glass. 

‘If we die in a car accident, I am going to kill you!’ Sam snapped a little hysterically as he gripped his seat, trying to stamp on an imaginary break everytime Maggie ran over an alien. 

Space whales and rockets filled the sky, red energy blasts burned through the clouds, the Wakandan force field shuddered, trembled and shattered, blue shades of energy dying. Lighting raked the sky. 

At the top of the valley, Maggie saw the King of Wakanda, resplendent against the red and blue horizon. Power radiating from his black suit as he gazed down at the battle field. His claws flashed. His people looked to him and with the sun casting warm rays across his mask, T’Challa urged his people once more into the fray. 

‘There!’ Sam pointed at a grassy hillock just to the east. 

The world around Maggie slowed to a standstill. _ He’s killing them… _

There were no guns, no fancy weapons anymore. It was hand to hand, fist to fist, bare knuckle and bloodthirsty. Thanos had Bucky pinned to the ground, all his weight pressing the smaller man into the ground. Steve’s arm was wrapped around Thanos’ neck, feet pressing into his shoulder blades as he tried with all his might to rip the Titan’s head off his shoulders. Rocket fired into hordes of Chitari in an effort to keep them at bay, his face desperate and full of fear. 

Maggie stomped on the accelerator, gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white. 

‘Maggie, slow down. Maggie. Maggie!’ Sam yelled as Maggie aimed the vehicle.

Thanos caught the front of the car with his hands, his feet digging into the sandy ground. Maggie's heart felt like it had leapt out her chest, Sam’s hand was braced over her shoulders so hard it was painful. Thanos studied them like ants through the shattered windscreen. He cocked his head and smiled slowly, holding the 2 tonne vehicle with one hand and ripping the axle out from under the car with the other, tossing it away like a brown paper bag. 

‘This plan is suicide, Maggie.’ Sam breathed. 

‘Just follow the plan, Sam, no matter what happens,’ Maggie gave his hand a squeeze as she eased herself out of the car. 

Her legs buckled slightly as her feet hit the ground. Quickly Maggie forced herself up and with more bravery than she felt, she walked, her shoulders thrown back and her head high. 

She heard someone call her name. Maggie didn’t look up, she couldn’t. Her plan was a simple one. Draw Thanos’ attention long enough to rally the team together and focus their energy in one place rather than spreading it across the field. 

Dimly, she thought about pressing the sensor on her dog tags but found she didn’t have the courage. She couldn’t risk letting her heart think about Bucky. 

She stopped a few metres from where Thanos stood watching her, Maggie craned her neck to meet his eyes. ‘I presume that you are Thanos,’ Maggie said, her voice sounded thin. 

‘Dr Isle, Thank you for meeting with me,’ Thanos replied, inclining his head. 

‘You have given me little choice in that matter. Your ‘overtures’ in regards to Henry Metcalfe and my friends have made it quite clear that you have some kind of interest in me-,’ Maggie snapped this very quickly, her nostrils flaring before she caught herself and tried to remain calm. ‘Although in what capacity I cannot possibly fathom. I am not a super soldier or a god. I am just human.’ 

‘Just Human.’ Thanos huffed softly, a smile playing on his face. It made Maggie’s stomach churn. ‘How small you make yourself sound. If you knew the true power that you wielded,..’ 

‘I think you have me mixed up with one of the Avengers. The only power I wield is the engine of my Nissan Micra,’ Maggie retorted quickly, playing off her anxiety with humour. 

‘You’re humility does you credit.’ 

‘I am not being humble, I am being factual,’ Maggie countered, her eyes flashing as she barely kept her anger in check. 

‘Which is what makes you so interesting Maggie, you really cannot see what you hold in your hand.’ He sounded it like he really meant it, watching her face closely as if it hid some secret. 

‘Why don’t you tell me, Thanos?’ 

‘I will show you,-’ He moved faster than Maggie thought possible. His hand was at his side and then his palm closed around her head. Her knees buckled, hitting the dirt, her neck screamed in protest as she tried to wrestle herself away but it was like trying to knock a mountain over with a feather. 

**

Voices are distant now. Blood in her mouth. 

There was a thick fog of purple and green. Maggie walked, water under her feet made her bones feel cold, she shivered. There was a light up ahead. She walked towards it, every step she took the lighter she felt, leaving her fear and anger behind her. 

_ What had she been so afraid of? _

‘I was planning on bringing you back myself once civilization was primed, your Avengers saved me the trouble. Just a human you called yourself. How can you think of yourself as being so small? You who control the world in the palm of her hand.’

_ A young man with dark brown hair and a moustache checks the magazine of his gun. Palm trees and thick jungle are claustrophobic around him, as he looks down pitilessly at the wounded soldier at his feet. Corporeal Nathaniel Isle shot the wounded prisoner at point blank range. His eyes were cold as he stepped over his body.  _

‘Grandfather?’ Maggie called, her voice echoing off the walls of the vision. 

‘So many warriors have come across your path, so many wounded souls who you’ve put back together. Have you never wondered…’

_ Henry smiled over a cup of coffee. Artisanal, from Columbia, he said. Maggie raised the cup to her lips and took a tentative sip. This pleased Metcalfe. He would enjoy having coffee with Maggie for the rest of his life. The women who could raise a fallen star and placed it back in the heavens. If he were to choose anyone to spend his life with, it was her.  _

The picture blurred suddenly, jumping into the future like skipping a recording forward. 

_ It was dark and raining as Metcalfe shuddered on his knees in a dark alley. A dark figure stood over him. ‘ _ The Ebony Maw. A loyal sycophant to me,’ A cool voice supplied her. ‘He travelled to Earth after the man- Metcalfe, you called him- was presented to us as an opportunity.’  _ Metcalfe screamed as the Maw reached out his hand. ‘The serum will only work with Winter Soldiers’ DNA, I’ve told you. Without him as a living specimen we’ll never make the numbers you’ll need!’  _

_ ‘Then bring him to us.’  _

_ ‘But...but it's not that simple. Without his codes he’s an animal!’ Metclafe gasped desperately.  _

_ The Maw hesitated for a moment, he watches the trembling human coldly. ‘There is an asset here on Earth who will aid you.’ With a viscous movement the Maw gripped the side of Metcalfe’s head, implanting an image in his brain.  _

_ He frowned despite the pain. ‘Maggie? My Maggie?’ _

_ ‘You’re meeting was not a coincidence,’ the Maw breathed with disdain.  _

‘Have you ever wondered how it all fell into place…’ 

_ Ghoulish nightmares of twisted bodies, aliens and blood, monsters wearing metal limbs snarling at Tony from the darkness of his mind. Hateful thoughts, thrusting anger and unmitigated rage. The Maw smiled coldly as he sent another tailor made nightmare into the ether, all with Maggie’s name sewn carefully into the seams.  _

‘But why? There are hundreds of psychiatrists that could have done what I do.’ A voice from within Maggie said, it was harsh and argumentative. She wanted to shh it down so that she could listen to Thanos’ voice but another part of her sat up suddenly, taking note of her surroundings for the first time. 

A mountain, wreathed in purple clouds and shallow rivers. Maggie found herself standing on the ledge looking down. At the very bottom there was a small, crumpled figure that Maggie could not make out. Thanos turned her away from the edge and placed a small yellow stone on her hand. 

‘You are a rare individual, Maggie Isle. On Earth you would be called a Muse, on my home planet you would be called a Clio, but you are a Stone Echo. Someone who inspires others to feel deeply. We have watched your life, pushing you down the right path but always, you have been my disciple.’ 

‘I control people's emotions?’ 

‘Yes and no-,’ Thanos’ inclined his head a little. ‘The people around you are compelled to be loyal to you. They want your approval. It is an effect of the Soul Stone’s power throughout the universe. You channel it.’ 

_ Thousands of pounding feet marched in synchronisation. Purple and gold ticker tape flew through the air like snow, Bucky turned to her smiling, beckoning her to stand by his side on the balcony. Crowds cheered and waved, as he pulled her to his side, kissing her cheek.  _

_ ‘I couldn't have done this without you,’ Bucky smiled. It was his true smile, so real, so pure. Nothing hid in his face, he really meant it.  _

_ Steve stepped close to Bucky’s side, he wore a purple suit, looking out over the crowds. He chuckled slightly, ‘I can’t remember why we fought so hard against this now, it seems so ...inevitable.’  _

‘You have seen this before, your mind has blocked it out but  **_it is_ ** inevitable. This is what you have been working towards, though you didn’t know it yet. Let me guide your way forward, together we can create a new order to things.’ 

‘And what about my emotions? Are they real?’ Her voice suddenly had a hard edge to it. The fog was thick in her brain, sickly sweet, swimming through her senses. She felt taffled in it. 

‘I have designed everything you feel. Every decision you made in your life, I have had a hand in it.’ 

In her mind, she grappled, tugged, ripped at every loose edge and every fibre of the construct that Maggie could get her hands on. She threw herself against it like a concrete wall, pounding her fists against it. 

‘That doesn’t mean they weren’t real!’ 

The construct shuddered suddenly. Shattering like a glass mirror, the image of the armies, purple flags and the noise of thousands of pounding feet fell away. Maggie fell too, she didn’t care where as long as it was away. Away from it all. She fell. 

Maggie hit the dirt. Screaming, loud and shrill in her ears. She covered her head, her face was wet with blood and gritty from how she fell in the sand. 

Rapid gun fire. Repetitive. TAT TAT TAT TAT as high calibre bullets left the chamber. 

Strong hands, one cold, wrapped around her waist and hauled her to her feet, scrambling backward as Maggie tried to process what she was seeing. 

Thanos’ flayed on the ground, bleeding stubs where his hands had been, turning the dirt into scarlet mud. They lay beside him, still sizzlingly from Iron Man’s plasma ray.

Dr Strange, Vision, Wanda hissing with vibrant energy, a golden woman and others that Maggie didn’t recognise hung in the air over the dying Titan. Silent as sentinels, his jury passing judgement. On the ground Steve panted, Thor helping him stand, Sam and Maggie’s MRAP boys bloody but very much alive, guns still smoking. More figures over the bluff of the hill that Maggie couldn’t make out, there was too much blood on her face.

‘Maggie, look away,’ Bucky breathed in her ear, his metal hand gently trying to turn her face away. 

But Maggie caught his hand and held it tightly, even though exhaustion threatened to consume her. ‘No, I need to watch him die. It's the only way I’ll be rid of him.’ 

‘You think I’m the only one, There are more like me coming, I am only the beginning…’ Thanos panted, spitting out the words as if they were poison. 

Silently, as if someone has read out his sentence, the Avengers raised their hands in unison. Beams of light split the air and sent Thanos’ body drifting away on the wind like ash. 

Only then, when the last remnants of Thanos’s being floated away and the monsters began to flee to their ships, did Maggie let Bucky turn her in his arms. 

He was cut and bruised to high heaven, but with an impossibly gentle, he smoothed away the blood from her face with the sleeve of his torn jacket. With gentle, almost feather light touches, Bucky brushed her brow, her cheek, her jaw. 

Maggie found herself tugging him closer, pressing her face into his hands and wrapping her fingers into the straps of his tactical gear. It was as if they were still in the cottage all those months ago. 

The corner of Bucky’s lips curled slightly, huffing slightly as his thumb played over Maggie’s bottom lip. ‘Can’t keep yourself out of trouble can you?’ 

Maggie would have said something witty and charming but when Bucky’s lips touched hers all words and surroundings fell out of her head. A wild and furious energy billowed inside her, her toes curled and her hands automatically wrapping around his waist, pulling Bucky closer.

It was light, gentle even. It was a welcome home, a lighthouse in a storm. It was perfect. Maggie could taste blood and sand, smell the sweat on their bodies but when she felt Bucky’s devilish smile against her lips it made everything worth it. 

‘I know you haven’t seen me in three years, but you’re gonna make a girl blush,’ Maggie sighed, giddily, pressing her forehead against his. 

Bucky frowned slowly, pulling his head back so he could look at her. His mouth falling open slightly as he searched her face. 

Maggie felt tension growing in her as his eyes widened, trembling as he looked for something within her. When he finally spoke it was like a gasp of air escaping his lungs, trailing away into nothing. ‘You don’t remember…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love a cliff hanger!
> 
> We are nearly at the end but there are still some questions left unanswered! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think by kudos, commenting and subscribing.


	24. Crashing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘ I said no, Bucky!’ Maggie exploded. ‘I don’t want to remember.’ 
> 
> ‘You don’t want to remember?’ He echoed, his voice flat and dead like she was speaking another language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer but it turned out to be really hard to write. Ladies and gentleman, prepare for the angst!
> 
> But also 2K hits! Holy CRAP, when did that happen? Thank you all again for reading. It sounds stupid but it really does mean a lot to me

His fists fell. Repetitive. A stucco rhythm of whooshing air, metal and flesh hitting the reinforced punching bag. 

Bucky bobbed and weaved, punched again. One. Two. Jab. Knee. Aim high, bob low. Guard. 

Repeat. 

Every punch, every kick Bucky tried to dispel the gnawing, churning, monster inside of him. He wished it was the Winter Soldier, but it wasn’t. It was much worse. 

Bucky was dehydrated. His shoulder and back spasmed. His fist was bloody, he hadn’t bothered with wrapping it. He didn’t care. He wanted, needed to feel something other than the hopeless gulf that had opened up inside his chest. 

The plane ride had been a blur. The Wakanadan heat, countryside, all of it had fallen away and Bucky had barely realised. As soon as they had touched down on American soil, the Team had briefed President Ellis in the meeting room. 

All smiles and congratulations, there had been talk of a parade down Madison Avenue. Steve had immediately baulked at that, practically backing out of the room. Luckily Fury stepped forward, suggesting that the troops that had taken part in the offensive be given commendations. He suggested the SAS boys by name and requested that if any celebrations were to be held, that they were allowed to take part in it. 

Bucky hardly heard any of this. He was the ghost of his own machine. Running through time and space, looking, always looking into the blackness. And all this world became noise, a distraction from his pain. 

It felt like one of the early days. His mind was so raw from Hydra’s torture. Bucky had hidden deep within himself. He hadn’t realised it at the time but the Winter Soldier had taken care of him. Made him eat, sleep, drink, exercise, repeat. Kept him alive. 

It wasn’t like that now. Winter couldn’t help him. No one could anymore. He yearned for the oblivion of the stasis chamber. 

He’d fallen and lost a part of himself. This time Bucky had lost everything. 

_ Brother, I do not understand. Fight! _ Winter had protested, ramming his head against their mental walls in frustration. 

_ There is no fight now,  _ Bucky replied slowly, his tired mind aching from lack of sleep. Had it been two days or three? More, maybe? It was hard to tell with the jetlag. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t relive memories of Maggie in his dreams. 

_ Why not! She is ours, take…. _

_ No, she’s not ours! She was never ‘ours’. I…  _ Unbidden the memory of Maggie flared up, her face pale and smeared with mud and blood, fallen tears painted paths down her face. Her eyes were fierce with determination. 

Bucky could feel Winter’s eyes glare at him unhappily. _ She would not deceive us.  _

**

_ Maggie felt tension growing in her as his eyes widened, trembling as he looked for something within her. When he finally spoke it was like a gasp of air escaping his lungs, trailing away into nothing. ‘You don’t remember…’ _

Maggie called him every foul name under the sun, kneeing him in the stomach and thumping his back with her fists. 

Maybe he wasn’t in his right mind. Maybe he wasn’t thinking as clearly as he should have been but as he’d gazed down into Maggie’s eyes, the feel of her lips still lingering on his, it was as if he had been looking at a different person. There was no cheeky sparkle in her green eyes, her hands hadn’t rubbed soothing circles… the world had been pulled from under his feet. 

‘Bucky! For Christsake, put me down you...fucking neanderthal!’ Maggie screeched, as she tried to wrench herself out of Bucky’s grip. She gasped for breath as Bucky practically jogged over the battlefield, bodies of Chitari monsters littered the ground at Bucky’s feet but Maggie could barely see as she struggled to pull her head up. 

Bracing her arms against his back, Maggie barked indignantly at one of her friends. ‘Hey...hey, Merc, Steve, would you please do something?’ 

The two men glanced at each other, a blush covered Merc’s smoke covered face as he found himself standing next to the legendary Captain America. Gulping, Merc cleared his throat, eyeing Bucky’s dark expression. ‘I don’t want to get involved in Avenger’s matters, I’m just gonna go and check…’ 

‘Coward!’ Maggie spat as Merc disappeared from view. ‘Steve, come on!’ Maggie pleaded, forcing him to look at her. 

Steve was obviously dead on his feet, he stood awkwardly not wanting to put weight on his left foot. The other Avengers looked on in a bemused fashion too tired or frightened of the manic look in Bucky’s eyes.

‘Bucky, don’t you think this a bit…’ 

Bucky spun suddenly, Maggie’s insides churned. ‘I am taking her to the Medical Bay.’ 

‘I don’t need to go to the Medical Bay,’ Maggie demanded, thumping him again. 

Bucky huffed and hitched her on his shoulder. ‘Yes, you do!’ He replied stubbornly. 

‘Okay, Bucky…’ Steve spoke carefully, slowly stepping closer as if he was approaching a scared animal. ‘Why do you think Maggie needs to go to medical?’ 

Her ears were ringing, she was missing a few nails from her hand where she had tried to pry off Thanos, her wrist also smarted from bashing it during the crash but she’d got off lightly compared to some of the Avengers. 

The way that Steve was holding his side, Maggie suspected that he had broken most of his ribs. Tony and Natasha were bleeding, Hawkeye couldn’t seem to stand up without falling over. 

Maggie felt Bucky let out a shuddering breath, his metal arm around her legs tightened on impulse. ‘Because...because she doesn’t remember.’ 

‘None of us remember, it's just the way it seems to be.’ Sam said matter-of-factly, shrugging, holding a gauze over his eyebrow. Maggie got the distinct feeling that if he hadn't had a concussion he would have stepped in.

‘Bucky, put me down, okay? Let's talk about this properly so I can understand,’ Maggie said gently, trying to steady her anger and embarrassment at being carried like a tavern wench. ‘Tell me what I am supposed to remember?’ 

Bucky hesitated for a moment before carefully setting Maggie on her feet. He held her shoulders as she wobbled, the world around her spinning slightly as a wave of queasiness hit her. 

He struggled to speak as if it was painful. ‘We both glitched, but then we met up in the Infinity Verse. I remember, so should you.’ His eyes were wide, searching her face for the smallest hint of recognition. 

‘And you think something in Medical can fix that?’ Maggie asked, trying not to sound sceptical. 

‘I think Thanos did something to your head, you need a scan or something to put it right and-’ his voice was suddenly stern and fierce. ‘...then you’ll remember. All of it.’ 

“ Thanos did something to my head ?” Maggie echoed. ‘Are you saying I shouldn’t trust my own mind?’ 

‘No; it was real.’ The hydraulics in Bucky’s arm whined as he curled his hand into a fist. ‘ Me and you, we were real.’ 

Maggie smiled kindly, reaching for his hand and slowly unknotting his fingers. ‘Bucky, I think you’ve been through a lot in the past couple of days. We all have. I’m sure after a few hours of sleep and some rest that everything will be a lot clearer.’ 

His hand closed around hers. Maggie was shaking, her skin felt hot to the touch. 

‘It’s never been clearer,’ Bucky snapped in frustration. ‘ How else would I know that you’re best friend Sarah used to wear white flowers in her hair growing up and you wore one in your hair to her funeral. Or how about the time your brother threw a pebble at you and left a scar on your neck.’ 

Maggie’s mouth opened but barely a noise escaped her. ‘How…’

‘You’re gonna ask “how could I know that?” Because that's exactly what you said last time. We were together in the Infinity Verse for  _ two whole years _ , diving in and out of each other's memories. What we don’t know about each other wouldn’t fill a damned shoe!’ 

‘Doctor?’ Steve turned to Dr Strange, who was peering at Bucky, his bleeding hand stroking his goatee thoughtfully.

‘What was the last thing you remember from this reality before the glitch?’ Strange asked Maggie. 

Maggie just blinked at him. She had forgotten where she was. Standing in the middle of a smoking battlefield, covered in blood, surrounded by dead aliens and injured soldiers. But with Bucky looking at her like she had … God, she couldn’t tell what was going through his head. His eyes were wild, so intense as he searched for something. 

It would have been so easy to pretend that everything was okay. She could have let him kiss her and wrap her up in his arms, walking off into the sunset. A few hours ago it could have been so easy. 

‘We were evacuating the hospital… I got knocked over, I was looking at my dogtags and... and then I woke up with you clicking at me.’

Dr Strange hesitated. ‘It's not beyond the realm of possibility that you two met in the … Infinity Verse, good name by the way. Barnes’ high level of cognitive regeneration may account for his remembering.’

She gawked at him. ‘Stephen, no! You can’t encourage this...this fantasy.’ Maggie challenged, speaking as one doctor to another. ‘Its irresponsible.’ 

Bucky didn’t like it. The Winter Soldier hated it. Speaking about him like he wasn’t there, using their ‘doctor voices’, half whispered and hushed tones as they shot him sidewards looks. 

His lips pulled over his teeth in barely concealed aggression. ‘You can read minds, right?’ Bucky demanded, a muscle jumping in his jaw. 

‘Bucky, you don’t need to do this,’ Steve protested, shaking his head, his face was sad and tired. 

‘Like hell, I don’t...Come on Strange, what are you waiting for?’ Bucky jeered, squaring his shoulders in a surly way. 

Maggie tried to step in front of Strange but Bucky was having none of it. His jaw jutted and clenched as Steven placed his hands either side of Bucky’s face, gently resting on his temples, his eyes closed in concentration. Bucky flinched and his body wanted rigid, his breathing rapid but he didn’t pull away. 

After a few moments Dr Strange let his hands fall by his side, a deep frown pulled across his face. 

‘There are certainly images in there that couldn’t possibly belong from this realm but I’ll need to check Maggie’s to know whether they are real. Thanos could have planted them.’ 

Bucky let out a relieved sigh, pulling his head back on reflex, but nodded at Strange thankfully. 

Maggie takes a shaky step backwards and then another, she watched the confusion grow on her friend’s faces. Dread starts to pound in her ears. 

‘No, I don’t want to know,’ Maggie said in a small voice. She turned and began walking away.

As each step fell, Thanos’ voice boomed in her ears, mocking her.  _ “I have designed everything you feel. Every decision you made in your life, I have had a hand in it. _ ” 

Everything he touched he polluted. He had already destroyed what they’d had _. Let me protect Bucky from this.  _

‘Maggie, I am very gentle, it would not hurt.’ She heard Strange call but Maggie refused to turn around. 

‘This wasn’t up for discussion. I am not having someone mess with my head. Funnily enough I can live without it!’ Maggie retorted quickly, calling over her shoulder. 

‘But it will prove that you just need to remember. It’ll help you understand  _ us _ .’ Bucky jogged beside her, trying to grab her arm but she pulled it away. 

‘If I am supposed to remember then it will come in time. Memories will return when they are supposed, I would have expected you of all people to understand that.’ 

‘When Thanos grabbed you, back on the field, what did he show you?’ Strange asked in a tight voice. 

They rounded the corner of the Medical Bay, Maggie was immediately swamped with interns carrying medical charts and soldiers slapping her on the back. Strange maintained his pace, using his portals to jump between cots. Bucky was less tactful, literally elbowing his way past people. 

‘What makes you think he showed me anything?’ Maggie said impatiently, signing the bottom of a medical chart and sticking the pen in her top pocket, only to find that she was still wearing her bullet proof vest. 

He appeared in front of her. ‘Because he’s been interested in you from the start, I recognise a thought transference when I see one.’ 

Maggie ducked under his arm. ‘Thats none of your business, Dr Strange. Now, if you would excuse me I have a lot of patients to attend to.’ 

Maggie all but ran to the examination room and began to struggle with her kevlar vest. It suddenly weighed a tonne. 

The door slammed shut behind her. Bucky stood, metal arm braced against the door, his chest heavy. His hair was twisted and matted, his eyes gleamed between thick strands. He looked positively dangerous. 

‘Why are you doing this, Maggie. If you only knew… Strange can show you everything. It's like you said, it's in there it's just not ready…’ 

‘ I said no, Bucky!’ Maggie exploded. ‘I don’t want to remember.’ 

‘You don’t want to remember?’ He echoed, his voice flat and dead like she was speaking another language. 

Maggie hesitated letting the silence between them grow. ‘That's right, I don’t want to remember.’ 

His mouth opened once and then closed. 

‘But ...but you love me,’ he breathed, his voice a pained sigh. Barely a whisper. ‘I heard you say it before the glitch.’ 

He bore the expression of a child who has been told his mother is gone. It was only in rare moments that he let Maggie see the true pain within, it stayed locked tight inside. He was stoic, his ways are gruff, it took months for him to show any real warmth. Yet as Maggie stood with her back to the wall, he was bereft. Shaking. Then he said ‘please, Maggie’, she’d reduced him to begging. 

Maggie feels her heart die in her chest. ‘When did you hear me say that?’ 

‘Metcalfe.’

‘Oh...’ Maggie looked at her feet, biting the inside of her mouth until she could taste blood. ‘Then I am sorry Bucky, … I am so sorry, Bucky.’ Fat tears began to fall down her face as she choked out the bitter words. ‘I am sorry to have confused you. I meant that I loved you as a friend.’ 

‘Bullshit!’ Bucky swore. 

Maggie yelped in surprise as he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. He trapped her against him, her body shaking as sobs escaped her mouth. 

He needed to soothe her, comfort and fight whatever she was going through. And yet selfishly, every tear that fell was a knife in his side. 

‘You love me,’ his voice was gravely hushed, every word painful but God, did he need to say them. He held her body, pressing her cheek against his heart. ‘You said it 874 times and I counted every single one cause I thought it may be the last I would hear you say it. It was me and you, Sugar. We were going steady…’ 

A wounded noise tore from Maggie’s throat as she pulled herself, throwing off his arms like she was lashing out. Bucky tried to catch her as she fell against a cabinet but she danced away, her hands bunching into her dirty hair as she gasped. 

‘No, I can’t do this. Whatever happened in the Infinity Verse, or whatever you are calling it, it was a mistake…’

‘Don’t you dare!’ He swore because he knew what she was going to say next. 

The Winter Soldier stirred within him, a cold figure looking on mournfully through a window. Frost began to creep up the glass, blocking out the light. 

Maggie looked at him with wild tear soaked eyes, her bottom lip trembled. ‘And I think that it would be best if I wasn’t your sponsor anymore, it will only serve to confuse matters. You shouldn’t see me anymore.’ 

His temper flared quicker than a match. He was mad, angry, furious- churning emotions mixing with the adrenaline of the battlefield. ‘But you kissed me! Out on the field, don’t try and spin me a fast one,’ he barely managed to ground out. 

Maggie looked away quickly. ‘A side effect of the adrenaline, it was a momentary lapse of judgement-,’ Maggie wiped away her tears impatiently, scrubbing them away with the back of her hand. ‘You’re telling me that you never kissed anyone in the war just because you were relieved to be alive?’ 

‘Fine but you ain’t got the authority to make me do anything, Dollface, I’m ain't going anywhere.’ 

Maggie’s face fell, her mouth suddenly hard, although tears remained in her eyes. ‘Were you under the impression I was asking?’ Maggie spat back. 

Bucky was suddenly very still. Coiled tight, prepared for anything. An animal at his most dangerous. ‘What are you doing? You’re pushing me away. Look how well that worked when I tried that on you?’

‘I’m telling you to stay away from me, James, for your own good,’ Maggie stressed, her body full of jittery energy. 

He tried to reach for her again but Maggie stepped away, keeping the examination table between them. Bucky resisted the urge to toss them the damned thing against the wall. ‘Sugar, you can tell me what's happened? It's okay, we’ll make it okay.’ 

‘It won’t ever be okay! ...I’m not the person you think I am….I am…-,’ Maggie drew herself up and sucked in a painful, shuddering breath, strengthening her spine. ‘You fell in love for a version of me that will never exist.  **We** will never exist here. We might have done in the Infinity Verse…’ Her eyes were steely, her voice dead. ‘... but I could never let myself get close to the Winter Soldier- to a murderer.’ 

She saw the exact moment when his heart broke. No tears fell, no shouting or anger now. His face was pale, his pale eyes wide- he looked so young all of a sudden it was as if the years and toil had fallen off him to leave a young man who was losing the woman he loved. 

The door slammed so hard behind him that plaster fell from the ceiling. 

Her knees buckled, sobs wretched her body

_ Why did you have to be so wonderful? _

  
  


**

One. Two. Jab. Knee. Aim high, bob low. Guard. 

Repeat. 

A voice called his name. He ignored it. 

One. Two. Jab. Knee. Aim high, bob low. Guard. 

Repeat- suddenly the reinforced punching bag he was grappling with the pulled away. He nearly went sprawling forward. 

'Buck, stop this! Stop feeling sorry for yourself,' Steve snapped impatiently, holding the bag just out of Bucky’s reach. 

Bucky let out a frustrated sigh, pacing away from his friend to the dummy at the other side of the gym. He punched the mannequin hard enough to cave in its face, blood from his knuckles smearing the plastic. 

'It’s not that simple, Steve,' Bucky grunted in between punches, his head bent to the task, not wanting to look at his friend. 

'What's not simple? She's a girl, you're a guy. Quit whining and go get her.'

'She wasn’t just some dame,’ Bucky growled bitterly, looking down at his bleeding hands. 

‘I’m not saying that, I get that Maggie is special to you. Anyone with eyes and a brain could see that,’ Steve acknowledged, placing his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and firmly steering him to a weight bench and forcing him down . 

‘She doesn’t remember what we were.' Bucky’s voice was quiet, barely a whisper, more of a breath as if he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. 

‘That she’s your sponsor?’ He asked sceptically, arching his eyebrow

Resting his forearms on his knees Bucky looked through his hair, up at Steve’s cerulean eyes. ‘Stevie, she was so much more than that…’ And Bucky told him everything from the moment he woke up in New York, 1929 to when he’d slammed the door of the examination room in Wakanda. The sound of Maggie’s muffled sobs rang in his ears. 

The words spilled from his lips as if he’d been waiting to tell someone. Maybe he had? Maybe it was the fact that out of anyone in this world, Steve would understand what it was like to meet the love of your life and then have them slip through your fingers. Or was it the way that he didn’t see him as another broken thing that needed fixing? There was sympathy in his eyes but never pity. 

Steve still saw him as the little boy who’d traded his best baseball cards for a new inhaler disk when Steve’s had broken. Maggie had never thought he was broken, she knew he was lost and lonely; she knew that he needed an anchor but he was never broken to her. To her, he needed finding. 

Bucky shook his head like an angry bear, as if he could shake his memories of Maggie out of his head. If only. If only he could forget the goofy smile she got when they watched a soppy movie, or the way her hair smelled first thing in a morning, or how she would count under her breath as they practiced dance steps. 

Absently, he pulled a wad of gauze from his pocket, carefully unfolding it to reveal a thin band of gold. ‘It’s me...Maybe I’m miss-remembering how good it was,’ he said, watching how the light played off the ring as he slowly turned it in his fingers. 

Steve knew better than to comment on the ring. Of course he recognised it.It was one of the few things that Bucky’s father, Yakob, had left her before he’d died. He’d spent most of his young adult life with Kathleen Barnes taking his temperature, trying to feed him seconds, chasing Bucky and him out of Becky’s room when she caught them reading his sister’s diary. 

‘No, that doesn’t add up. Everyone knows you two were head over heels for each other before the glitch and suddenly she hates your guts?’ Steve got to his feet and began to pace. ‘We’re missing something here, there is something that we’re not seeing. What was it Strange was saying, when you two went back to the Medical Bay?’’ 

‘Doesn’t matter now. We left it all behind in the Infinity Verse,’ Bucky murmured to himself more than Steve, the tiny ring rolled between his fingers almost mockingly. Such a small thing and yet still out of reach. 

Steve snorted with exasperation and punched Bucky’s shoulder so hard it would have sent a normal man flying. 'And that means you can't have it again?' 

Bucky’s throat bobbed as if it was painful to speak. 'We were so close Steve, we… I don't know where she started and I began. It felt like..' His eyes glistened, wide and fearful, his mouth pressed into a thin line. 

Steve hesitated before smiling sadly. ‘Me and you back in Brooklyn.’ 

‘Yeah…’ He felt guilty saying it, as if he was replacing Steve somehow but it was the only way he would be able to comprehend what she was to him. 

More than his sponsor, or his friend, more than his Best Girl even. Maggie had relieved every trauma with him, felt every ounce of his pain, tamed the Winter Soldier and, by some miracle, still wanted to be with him. 

Or had wanted him... 

'Then go get her! You could have any girl you wanted back in Brooklyn. Stop acting like a chump and be Errol Flynn!' Steve declared, hauling Bucky to his feet. 

Bucky let out a short huff. 'Your pep talks are garbage.' 

‘Well, whatever you do, you better do it fast cause she’s just handed in her letter of resignation.’ 

‘Wh...at,’ Bucky stammered, the air felt like it had been sucked out of his lungs. 

Steve winced. ‘Yeah, she’s leaving. Fury’s just told me,’ He said regretfully. 

‘What do I do, Steve?’ Bucky rasped out in a panicked voice, his eyes wide with barely concealed despair. 

‘This is beyond my pay grade, we need back up and a plan,’ Steve acknowledged tightly, as if he was thinking about a military exercise. 

Bucky shot him a sidelong look. ‘What kind of backup?’ 

‘The Romanov kind of backup.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the we have one chapter left. Maggie doesn't remember a thing about the Infinity Verse and she's trying to protect Bucky from her influence. Bucky is a lost and Steve is clueless.... Tune in next week for the penultimate chapter and the Epilogue!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I love to hear from you so do please comment, kudos and subscribe.


	25. All or Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury replied. ‘We need to be prepared for anything Mr Wilson. As much as Maggie means to all of us. From what Strange has said, Thanos could have implanted anything in her mind-’, he hesitated, fixing his stare on Bucky. ‘There might not be anything left of the Maggie we knew.’ 

The whiskey tastes like petrol. It stung his throat as it went down, heady fumes burning the inside of his nose. He knew he couldn’t get drunk but he drank the alcohol anyway. 

He went through the plan again in his head. It was a terrible plan. Too many variables left unaccounted for. If he was still in the Howlin’ Commandos he would have called it off, said they needed more intel, watched and waited for the precise moment to strike. 

But they were out of time. It was now or never. All or nothing. 

Maggie’s flight left at 8:00 am tomorrow morning. Bucky had precisely 12 hours and counting to convince her that she was the love of his life and that they were meant to be together. And not forgetting the small matter Maggie potentially being mind controlled by Thanos. 

No pressure. 

Bucky tried to distract himself by watching the guests. Even in his meticulously tailored designer suit which Tony had insisted he wore, Bucky still cut an imposing figure. His long hair was tied at the nap of his neck, a few loose strands were tucked behind his ears. He eyed them baleful, wishing to be anywhere but here. 

This isn’t how it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be the two of them, facing whatever the world threw at them. 

( _ Maggie’s unholy cackle echoed off the wall of the empty foyer. She cried out and swore, her hand gripping his ever tighter as he pulled her along the floor. Her wooly socks skidded and slipped on the cool marble. Her hair flew about her face as Bucky twirled her, strong arms around her waist, pulling close. Maggie’s body shook with laughter and breathlessness but she allowed him to hold her close. _ ) 

Bucky drained his glass. 

Guests with too much money, too much power, too much self importance took one look at the dark broody figure that searched the corners of the lobby and suddenly became interested in something on the other side of the ball room. 

SHIELD was running counter terrorism security on the outside and soft securtiy on the inside. Agents with poorly concealed earpieces and guns stood at strategic points around the marble foyer. Bucky’s trained eye could make out several more mingling amongst the guests, circulating around a number of VIP’s. It was a little wonder. POTUS, half the cabinet and the Forbes top 100 were among some of the guests of SHIELD’s World Freedom Gala. 

“A celebration for the World!” The banner strung across the ceiling proclaimed. It made Bucky feel nauseous. 

  
  


**

The glass walls were blocked out, the windows shuttered, the door locked, Friday was on high alert. 

‘She handed in her notice and that's it, she’s just gonna up and leave?’ Clint asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 

_...just gonna up and leave… _ the words played around Bucky’s head like a skipping record.  _...just gonna up and leave… ...just gonna up and leave…  _

He stood with his back to the wall in the corner. He let Steve do the talking, retreating into himself as Captain America took centre stage. Bucky didn’t mind. Steve was good at his job, what he’d been created for. He’d been a sniper in the Howlin’ Commandos, one to watch and study the terrain. 

He watched them now. People who he would, maybe one day, call friends. Natasha silently studied the CCTV footage of Maggie from Wakanda and the Triskelion. She seemed more subdued, angrier, no more smiles or laughter but still his Maggie. Next there was Fury and Hill, looking through reports on datapads. Clint lounged over a table, sharpening a blade angrily. Sam stood at Steve’s side, Tony pretended to look preoccupied but Bucky could see through the act. Wanda and Vision stood apart from the others like Bucky was, concern and stress was written all over Wanda’s face. 

‘It is a free country, Maggie is allowed to move jobs,’ Hill acknowledged fairly. 

Clint grunted unhappily. ‘No way, she’d do that unless there was something else going on. You should have seen those two in Utah. It was like Little House on the Prairie.’ 

Bucky understood the reference and as much as it annoyed him. He didn’t argue. Not this time. 

Steve sighed, his thick arms crossed over his chest. ‘Clints right. It’s not like Maggie. She’s one of the family and to just run away, well, she’s either spooked or ...there’s something else at work here.’ 

‘Well, that was dramatic-,’ Tony snorted as he got to his feet, spinning his car keys around his middle finger. ‘I’ve locked all the hydrives down. If she is possessed by the ghost of Thanos, we need to make sure that she can’t get her little mitts on my bad babies.’ 

‘I’m not even going to ask, Stark.’ 

‘Romanov, you’re a woman…’ Wilson interjected suddenly, as if the thought had just occurred to him. 

‘So glad you finally noticed,’ Natasha replied drily, pursing her lips. ‘And if you say, from a woman’s perspective, I will punch you in the face.’ 

‘Wanda, can you get a reading off her?’ Steve asked. 

Bucky looked up hopefully. 

Wanda worried at her thumb nail with her teeth. ‘She’s scared and confused but the walls around her mind are so high, it must come with the territory of being a psychiatrist, that I would not be able to breach them without forcing my way in.’ 

‘That may be an option if we fail.’ Fury shifted in his seat. 

Steve and Bucky shared a look. Fury noticed and shot them a regretful look as he spoke. ‘Our first priority must be to ensure the safety of SHIELD. Dr Isle has a lot of secrets in her head.’ 

‘Maggie wouldn’t sell out SHIELD,’ Sam blurted, instantly remembering that he was speaking to the Director. 

Fury watched Sam squirm for a moment before replying. ‘We need to be prepared for anything Mr Wilson. As much as Maggie means to all of us. From what Strange has said, Thanos could have implanted anything in her mind-’, he hesitated, fixing his stare on Bucky. ‘There might not be anything left of the Maggie we knew.’ 

The cold chill of Siberian winter grew in Bucky’s chest. His metal fist coiled tight against his side. 

Steve cleared his throat. ‘So we need a plan. Natasha, what have you got for us?’ 

Natasha stepped up and pulled pictures of the foyer on the big screen. ‘The window is tight so if Thanos has played with Maggie’s mind, she’ll make her move tonight. Her flight leaves at 0800 hours tomorrow morning. Thanks to Friday, we’ll know if anyone tries to tamper with SHIELD’s files. That makes our next most likely target to be one of the guests. Unfortunately, we can’t cancel tonight's little shindig…’

‘Even I cannot say not to the President of the United States, Agent Romanov.’ 

‘Which leaves the guest list. Cap and Sam will help to manage the extra security positioned to follow some potential key targets. Wanda and Vision, I’d like you to mingle. Scan the ballroom for any aggressive or threatening brain activity.’ 

Grimly, Wanda nodded. 

‘I’ll maintain low-key surveillance on Maggie, keep her preoccupied while everyone else is busy with the party…’ Natasha finally hesitated, cocking her hip slightly as she turned to Bucky. ‘Bucky, your job is to make her fall in love with you all over again. Make her remember.’ 

‘That’s a terrible plan,’ Bucky deadpanned. 

‘Just be charming…’ 

‘I’m an ex-hydra assassin. I don’t do charming.’ 

‘How did you get her before?’ Sam asked, cocking his eyebrow. 

‘I have no idea,’ he shrugged, plunging his hands in his pockets and staring at the floor. ‘ It was easy being around her, we were friends. And then...I don’t know we were suddenly more... And it was good.’ 

Sam murmured to himself, pulling out his phone. ‘I got to write that down, that's good advice.’ 

‘You’re an adorable idiot, Barnes. Then all you need to do is be her friend and the rest will fall into place,’ Hill said softly, surprising everyone with her soft side. 

Fury sighed unhappily, getting up from his seat as his mobile rang. ‘She may still be a security risk. As much as I don’t want to believe it, if what Strange said is true and Thanos implanted something in her mind, we need to ascertain if there is a threat. Romanov and Barnes, I want you to keep a close surveillance on her. With most of the Whitehouse and European Royalty arriving in a few short hours, security is tight. ‘ 

**

The elevator chimed a few hours later. Bucky sucked in a steadying breath. Tucking his wet hair behind his ears, just before the metal doors opened. 

He’d left most of the details to Natasha. Steve trusted her, so Bucky would trust her. He didn’t want to think about it too much.But the team, the Avengers, had fallen into line behind him. They were fighting for him, his cause. Despite how numb he felt inside, it felt good to have a team at his back again. 

Bucky’s part was too simple really. He wished he had more to focus his mind on, keep himself from lingering on their quiet moments in the Infinity Verse. Maybe it was bitter irony? His was to try and get Maggie to remember, just as her job had been to help him remember. Yet if he failed he would spend the rest of his life trying to forget. 

As Bucky stepped out of the elevator, cardboard boxes lined the corridor outside of Maggie’s apartment, his chest tightened painfully, angry voices drifted through the open door. 

‘You’re so clever- how can someone who is so clever, be so stupid!’ Hayley hissed. Bucky heard her stamp her foot for good measure. 

‘Funnily enough, it’s none of your business!’ Maggie retorted hotly. 

‘Of course it's my business!’ Hayley tried to take a step but her stick hit against a box. ‘You’re both my friends and YOU- the great and powerful psychiatrist, wellbeing wizard, relationship guru- are acting like a total idiot! You’re letting a good and charming and, let's be frank, a smokin’ hot guy slip through your fingers.’ 

Bucky’s foot hoovered in mid air. A hot blush rising in his cheeks. 

Maggie sucked in air through her nose, a sign that she was settling in for a fight. Her voice was deadly cold as she spoke. ‘I don’t ask you to judge me, Hayley. I don’t ask you to judge my decisions for the same reason I don’t judge yours.’ 

The door slammed and Hayley stepped between boxes, hitting them overly hard with her stick as she passed. Just before the elevator she sensed Bucky’s presence as he hovered awkwardly, not knowing what to say. 

‘Hi…’ Bucky began, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment at being caught eavesdropping, but before he could finish Hayley threw her arms around his waist. 

‘ I’m rooting for you, Frosty!’ Hayley said fiercely, hugging him as tight as her thin arms would allow. 

Awkwardly, Bucky patted the top of her head. ‘Thanks… have you been speaking to Natasha?’

‘No, why?’ Hayley replied, pressing a button on the elevator keypad. 

Fondness for the crazy mechanic bloomed in is chest. It was nice to know that even without Nat’s plan, people still saw what he saw. 

**

Maggie held a book in each hand. 

Nausea, pain, guilt, longing, numbness. They turned her insides into a blender. She could feel them wracking through her body, barely keeping the tremble from her hands and her breakfast in her stomach as she laid the two books down. She’d barely been able to keep anything down since Wakanda. 

She’d lent the books to Bucky during his first weeks at the Triskelion. The Great Gatsby and The Fellowship of the Ring, Tarzan. Hesitantly, Maggie placed them in the charity box. She couldn’t look at the, without…

‘Hello.’ He was standing in the doorway of the living room, leaning against the door frame as if he didn’t have a care in the world. His hands were stuck in his jean pockets, his wet hair had made the collar of his henley damp. 

Maggie wondered absently if his hair had continued to grow on his corporal body while they were in the Infinity Verse. His hair was the longest she’d ever seen it, nearly sitting in the middle of his shoulders. So dark it looked like it was drawn with charcoal. 

‘Hi,’ Maggie heard herself reply, her voice sounded small. 

She hadn’t seen him since Wakanda. She heard the door slam in her head. The memory was harsh and painful, it made her throat feel tight. 

‘I came to get my stuff,’ he commented lightly- maybe too lightly, shrugging his broad shoulders. His pale eyes rested on her but then he glanced away. 

He couldn’t look at her. She didn’t blame him. 

Their argument, the field in Wakanda, Thanos’s words replayed in her head. She knew what she had to do, but hell!

_ (‘You love me,’ his voice was gravely hushed. He held her body, pressing her cheek against his heart. ‘You said it 874 times and I counted every single one cause I thought it may be the last I would hear you say it. It was me and you, Sugar. We were going steady…’ Maggie hunkered down, all strength leaving her. She knew that if she looked up now, looked into his beautiful face, she would be lost.) _

She didn’t know if she had the strength. 

Maggie would have given the whole world to hold him again, even as his friend, just to be close to Bucky. That would have been enough for her now; to know that he was alive and that he was safe and to be his friend. 

The coffee table lay between them but it might as well have been a frigid ocean keeping them apart. 

Maggie mimicked the tone that Bucky had used, keeping her voice light and friendly. Her smile was a little fixed. ‘You don’t have to, you know. This apartment will be free once I’m gone, you could have your own flat.’ 

‘I’m not going to watch bad cowboy movies and listen to Ben E. King records down here all by myself.’ Bucky hoped there would be a spark of recognition as he stepped into the living room, eyeing a packet of biscuits that had been left on the coffee table. 

Maggie didn’t respond, instead she kept her eyes determinedly fixed on the books she was packing into boxes. 

‘What are you planning on doing now?’ Maggie heard Bucky ask. She kept her back turned, as she studied her copy of Treasure Island not really seeing the front cover. 

‘I don’t know exactly…’

Bucky frowned as he sat down on his part of the sofa, whether she had subconsciously meant to leave it free of boxes so that Bucky could sit down was a purely academic discussion. ‘You’re just leaving without a plan?’

_ Damnit, he really did know her too well! _

Maggie hesitated for a moment, steadying herself. ‘I was thinking of spending some time up in Utah-,’ Maggie smiled, turning to face him. This was safe neutral territory. ‘They were lucky. They didn’t glitch so it's been a while since they’ve seen me,’ Maggie shrugged, dusting off her hands. 

Bucky popped a biscuit in his mouth. ‘That makes Matt 8 next month, right?’ He commented, speaking with his mouth full. 

‘Well remembered-’ Maggie discovered she was smiling and forced herself to look away. ‘I don’t even know what he would like anymore to get him a present. And then I was thinking of teaching at a University. It might keep me out of trouble a while.’ 

‘What about a bike? Steve and me would have killed for a bike at 8.’

Maggie huffled lightly. ‘Like I’ll get that on the plane.’

‘BB Gun?’Bucky grinned easily, popping another biscuit in his mouth.

‘Christ no!’ Maggie barked with laughter. 

Bucky sighed, ruffling his damp hair. ‘I’m pretty sure I got a second hand pair of shoes for my 8th birthday, but then again it was the Great Depression. Tea?’ He asked, getting to his feet and walking to the kitchen, stepping over boxes. 

‘Always,’ Maggie replied, turning back to her books. She bit her lip. 

This felt … it wasn’t exactly easy. Something about them felt off, not quite as balanced as it usually was but if she kept her distance and kept her emotions in check maybe they could part ways as colleagues. It might not be friends but Maggie thought she could live with colleagues. 

‘Hey, Bucky, would you like some of these books?’ Maggie asked, calling behind her. 

He appeared at her shoulder, passing her a cup of tea, his attention turned to the books. Maggie could feel the heat radiating off his shoulder, even though Maggie was running a temperature of her own. 

‘You’re leaving Tarzan?’ Bucky frowned, picking up the yellow leather volume and thumbing through it. 

_ (It was early in August, Bucky eyed the apartment, probing into corners and keeping his back to the wall. Maggie was lucky if she got a whole sentence out of him.  _

_ ‘You can borrow any of these, if you like, I know I have too many but I can’t bring myself to get rid of them,’ Maggie smiled, turning her back to slide the book back on its shelf.  _

_ Bucky didn’t respond, instead continued watching as Maggie carefully placed the books back on the shelves.  _

_ ‘Let me guess, you’re not much of a reader…?’  _

_ ‘Steve was, I…’ His voice left him. He looked away into one of the far corners of the room, his hair covering his face.  _

_ Maggie coughed as she approached him, letting him know that she was there moving in his space. Slowly she placed a book down on the table in front of him. Its cover was bright yellow, a lion bared its teeth ferociously while a man in a loin cloth held a spear. Written in gold across the top of the page were the words ‘Tarzan and the Golden Lion.’  _

_ ‘It’s one of my favourites.’ ) _

A lump had formed in Maggie’s throat making it hard to speak. ‘I knew you liked it.’ 

Tarzan a man out of time. A lost little boy, stolen from the life that he should have had and feared by outsiders. Maggie had seen the parallels which resonated with Bucky. Even Tarzan’s lion companion had a Steve-esque quality about him. 

Maggie took a sip of tea and sighed. It was perfect. A perfect cup of tea. Just right. The tea cup was her favourite. Not her fanciest, not her biggest but the one that was just right. The tea was a dark shade of terracotta, two tea bags, and a splash of milk. Everything that was good in the world was in that cup of tea. 

She held the mug with both hands, letting the steam touch her face. 

‘Bucky-’ Maggie began so suddenly she sloshed her tea over herself. ‘I’m sorry for what I said in Wakanda, it was unnecessarily cruel of me and I over reacted.’ 

Bucky turned to face her, his head tilted down to catch her eyes. 

He stood so close that Maggie smelt his minty breath and the musky soap he used on his skin. His lips were a thin line as he spoke, pale eyes resigned and sad. ‘But you don’t regret it.’

‘You’re not a murderer.’ Maggie heard herself say lamely. Blood pounded in her ear

‘But you still don’t want me,’  Bucky breathed, barely a sound escaped his lips but his words made Maggie’s heart ache. 

_ If you even knew how much I wanted you… _

‘Knock, knock!’ 

Maggie jumped so hard, she threw her remaining tea down her blouse. Swearing she retreated to a safe distance away from Bucky, grabbing a dusting cloth from a pile of cleaning supplies. 

Tony pranced into Maggie’s apartment with barely concealed glee. He wore cucumber slices under his eyes and had an embroidered towel dressing gown draped around him. Natasha flanked him wearing a tight and impatient smile on her face. 

Bucky shot Stark a panicked look that said-  _ WHAT HE HELL ARE YOU DOING! _ Over the top of Maggie’s head. 

‘You shall go to the ball! Wait,-’ Tony turned to Nat. ‘Does that make me a fairy godmother?’He let out a snort in amusement. Then snatched the invitation out of the bin where Maggie had scrunched it up. He smoothed it out with his hand and tucked it into his robe ‘I have yet to receive your RSVP, Miss Isle.’ 

Maggie’s voice was laced with poisonous sarcasm. ‘That's because I’m not going, Mr Stark.’ 

‘ You can’t miss it. Delay for an hour or two, please, you’ll break my heart if you go now.’ Tony actually had the audacity to pout. 

‘Figuratively, of course but still.’ Natasha added drily. 

‘I don’t know-,’ Maggie shrugged unhappily, backing away so that she put boxes between herself and her guest. ‘I’ve been feeling really queasy lately, I think I picked up a stomach bug or something. And I really need to finish packing.’ 

‘Pardon my french-,’ Tony draped himself over the back of her sofa like a french model. ‘-but that is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. Natasha darlin’, make a note that Dr Naughty isn’t coming to the school prom because she can’t get a date. And neither can Robocop,’ Tony gestured to Bucky with an insolent flick of his wrist. 

‘For your information, I was quite good at picking up girls,’ Bucky replied, tossing the book into a box opposite him.

‘That’s nice for both of you,’ Maggie replied hotly, ‘As much as I’d love to hear about all the knickers you talked your way into , I need to get back to packing.’

‘It's just a party,’ Natasha said lightly. Her smile was slow and conspiratory. Maggie got the distinctive and uncomfortable feeling that every thought was written over her face for the spy to read. 

‘And Hell is just a sauna.’ Maggie quipped, turning her attention to the box that Tony had managed to knock over. 

‘Chicken.’ 

Maggie straightened suddenly. Slowly turning as she said ‘Excuse me?’

Bucky eyed her with amusement. A smirk curled across his face, he cocked his eyebrow challengingly. ‘I called you a chicken.’ 

‘Are you going?’Maggie asked shortly, her nostrils flaring. 

‘Only if you are.’

This was dangerous territory. One more of those smiles, one more of those saucy looks and all her resolve would have melted in a sticky pool on the floor. 

Stubbornly, Maggie snatched up the invitation from Stark’s outstretched hand. ‘Fine but I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ve got something for you.’ Nat said lightly, she grinned like a Cheshire cat. 

***

Bucky was purposefully not looking in her direction as Maggie walked down the stairs. He knew it was her though, he could tell by the sound her feet made on the steps and the way her heart fluttered. She held her breath as she carefully walked, a nervous gesture. 

Tonight was all or nothing. He couldn’t let himself get caught up in it all but Steve wasn’t exactly helping. 

‘Son of a …’ Steve’s breath fell away and he began tugging at Bucky’s sleeve. 

‘Its that bad, huh?’ 

Steve’s adam’s apple bobbed as he visibly gulped. ‘There is a serious chance you may spontaneously combust.’ 

Bucky paused for half a second before snapping his head around. ‘Hell-’ he breathed, words left him. 

The sound of the orchestra, the guests laughing. Even the lights twinkling above them like stars in the sky...they all froze. 

Bucky once had seen a work of art in hanging in the house of a high ranking Hydra operative. The painting was of a woman dancing in sunlight, her dress billowed and ripple as if she was moving. Her tanned skin contrasted with the gown she wore. Even the Winter Soldier, his finger hesitated on the trigger of the gun, had gazed up at her. 

For the longest time that portrait had represented everything that Bucky and Winter had striven for. It was life, bright and bold and vivid, it burned and danced. And yet all that now seemed a poor imitation. In Bucky’s head he tore down this portrait and in its place he put a goddess, who he would never be worthy of. 

Her body was wrapped in layers of scarlet satin. Not blood red or burgundy. It ripple with blacks and golds, casting light along her curves, drawing the eye to how her hips flared against her narrow waist and hem of the dress ruffled. The sweetheart neckline was low cut, draped across her shoulders in a bardot, the curve of her chest plunging invitingly. Maggie’s neck was dusted with a translucent silver powder, Nat’s doing Bucky thought, she would never have bothered with something so frivolous but as she turned her head looking down at the crowd below; Maggie looked otherworldly, like Lady Liberty and Ingrid Bergman. Dangerous and beautiful, like the razor edge of a diamond. 

Bucky barely registered the conversation Maggie was having with Nat as the two of them descended the stairs. 

‘I don’t care what you say. This is not the dress that I picked out.’ Maggie huffed, her smile becoming a little fixed and she concentrated on keeping her footing 

‘Sure it is.’ 

‘It looks like it's been painted on! And don’t get me started with my breasts! One deep breath and I’ll be popping out of this thing.’

Natasha chuckled, waving down at someone in the crowd. ‘Maggie, have I ever steered you wrong? You and your boobs look like a billion dollars.’ 

‘Well, you’re not bad yourself Romanov,’ Maggie huffed, nudging Natasha lightly with her elbow.

‘Oh, I know…’ Bucky could hear the smirk in Nat’s voice as he forced himself to look away. 

This was a terrible plan. Guests shot him sideways as he suddenly began to pant and his hands curling into fists.  It was too hot. His suit was too tight. Too many people, too noisy, too bright. Too much. He needed out… He looked around wildly for the nearest escape route. 

‘Buck, keep it together. You got this.’ Nat’s voice drifted through the earpiece he forgot he was wearing. ‘She’s as uncomfortable as you are. Wait it out, give her space. She’ll come to you.’ 

Taking a shuddering breath, he tried to focus on Maggie’s voice. She was speaking quietly, softly as if embarrassed. 

‘I am so glad you enjoyed it, Your Royal Highness, I had not realised you followed my work.’ 

Bucky’s fists tightened, cracks appeared on the glass he was holding. 

A man with a deep voice and thick Scandinavian accent spoke, gushing with praise. ‘I have always been interested in the school of psychiatry. I would have taken up the profession if, alas, I was not born into the crown of Norway.’ The Prince laughed too loudly, the ice in his glass tinkled. 

_ Laugh while you can, pal. B _ ucky thought darkly. 

‘Your work on psychosis in PTSD patients is unparalleled. I had hoped you would take up a position with the World Health Organisation, we have facilities in Oslo that are at their disposal. However I understand that SHIELD is losing you soon.’

‘Yes-,’ Maggie replied a little stiffly. ‘I was looking for a change of scenery.’ 

‘ Strålende!’ The Prince suddenly exclaimed in his native tongue. ‘You would be most welcome to the University of-’ 

Maggie suddenly made a noise of surprise, Bucky heard the scrap of glass as she quickly put down her drink.  ‘This song…’

‘You favour it? Would you care to dance, Dr Isle?’ The Prince of Norway asked hopefully.

‘Pardon me,..Your..Your Highness but I -’ Maggie hesitated, Bucky found himself leaning towards the conversation, straining to hear. ‘I promised this dance to a good friend of mine.’ 

Bucky couldn’t breath. The clip clop of high heels. Swish of heavy fabric on the marble floor. A steadying breath. A gentle hand laid on his shoulder; warm and real. Maggie’s hand, her eyes on him, smiling shyly. 

Maggie nodded her head towards the dance floor. ‘For old time sake?’ 

Bucky eyebrows shot towards his hairline. ‘Are you asking me to dance?’ 

Maggie looked away over the dance floor, a few couples already lining up as the gentle strings sounded through the air. It wasn’t Ben E.King but it was still ‘Stand By Me’. ‘It’ll be more of an awkward two step but … yeah, I guess I am.’ She turned, her green eyes bright in the flickering golden light. 

Her hair was styled long and wavy down her back, it looked like the ripples of a dark pool of water. Bucky wanted to run his hands through to see how soft it was.

‘Would you like to dance with me, Mr Barnes?’ 

He didn’t remember saying yes. His courage and his voice had dried up. Distantly he felt Winter stir within him, humming with approval. But as his hand rested on her lower back, the fabric of her gown brushing against his legs- all the ballroom fell away, Bucky only had eyes for Maggie and ears for the orchestra. He felt whole again. 

How firmly could he hold on to her without her shattering? 

Bucky’s hand wasn’t just resting on her back, he’s holding her, pulling her in close as he can. He feels her body heat pressing into him. He pulls Maggie fly against him and into the crook of his arm, then curls into her, closing whatever space was left between them. Subconsciously, their fingers entwined, not a conventional dance hold, it was possessive, they needed to feel each other. 

Once she’s tucked into him, he leans against her, needing to feel her. Bucky sighed in relief, his entire body relaxed, his breath raised goosebumps on Maggie’s neck. There is no confusion, no loss, no past or present, just that moment with the orchestra playing their song. This makes sense, it is right. He holds her for a moment, breathing her in. He can feel her fluttering heart beating like a drum in her chest, heat radiating from her skin. The beat of the music but he’s not ready to move yet, just one more moment of just ...holding her. He would be happy if this moment were to last forever. 

There was a beat and then they were moving. Slow, lulling rhythm of a rumba, legs and hips pressed together- slow, slow, quick. Bucky led the way but he barely registered anything outside of the warmth in his arms and the way Maggie’s soft dark hair brushed against the side of his cheek. 

‘I thought you weren’t a fan of dancing?’ Bucky asked, needing to hear her voice. He needed to know she was real. 

‘Dancing isn’t so bad,’ Maggie said, smiling up at him before squeezing his hand . ‘Besides, it could be your last chance before I ship out tomorrow.’

‘You still have your heart set on leaving.’ It wasn’t a question, he already knew the answer. 

Maggie’s voice was small as she looked away into the crowd. ‘I have to Bucky.’ 

‘Then I hope this night never ends.’ Bucky couldn’t help it. He pressed his lips against her temple, resting his face against hers, just breathing her in as their bodies moved together.

Soft strings and beats, they speak their own language. In that way their dance isn't simply movement, but the most honest form of communication. He held her like she was some precious, priceless thing. Maggie clung to his arms like it was a harbour in a storm. The music spun around them lifting away gravity till they danced on air. Still he found himself smiling brightly as their heels clicked over the ballroom floor. He watched as her hair spun out and bounced more with each move and beat. This was perfect. This was dancing where all that mattered was the person in front of you . 

‘It’s good my dress is so long, you can’t see my feet flailing about. I really can’t really dance to save my life,’ Maggie grinned at him shyly.

Bucky huffed lightly. ‘Then what do you call what you're doing?’ 

Maggie cocked her head in confusion at his words and then her eyes suddenly went glassy, she looked down at her feet as if they weren’t her own. ‘How am I doing this?’ 

Bucky wasn’t surprised, nothing surprised him anymore. He rubbed small soothing circles into her lower back. ‘Its like Jeremy Bevermen and the piano, except yours is dancing.’

‘I guess, I do have a lot of catching up to do, we have fallen behind on our lessons..,’ Maggie frowned as she looked up at him again. ‘Jeremy Beverman, the retrograde amnesia case study?’

Bucky smiled, wanting to ease the crinkle from her forehead with his thumb. ‘You told me about him…’

They were at the very centre of the dancefloor, couples twirled past them, lights reflected from the chandelier above them sending patches of light across their bodies. Bucky was content to stay in their bubble.

‘We were in Dallas, you were anxious...’ Maggie’s voice was very distant suddenly as if she was speaking about a memory from long ago, only half remembered. 

_ Please... _

‘Yeah, I was anxious,’ Bucky managed to choke out. 

‘And scared…’

_ Please, God, let her remember… _

‘Terrified that I would lose you again.’ He breathed, barely daring to speak now. 

‘Bucky... Maggie stumbled on her long skirt but Bucky held her close, steadying her frame against his. Her chest rose and fell, suddenly gasping for breath. ‘Can we get out of here?’’ 

Bucky was already steering them to the edge of the dance floor. He barely glimpsed Steve and Nat watching them from amongst the noisy crowd. He held Maggie tucked in close to his side, as they made their way between drunk couples and waiters with trays of drinks. It was only when the elevator doors closed behind them that Maggie pulled away, pressing her forehead against the cold glass of the elevator window. 

‘I think I’m going to be sick,’ she murmured from behind her hands, her shoulders shaking. 

‘It’s ok, deep breaths. We’ll get you some ice water,’ Bucky tried to reassure her as he slapped his hand against the buttons. ‘ You remember?’ He dared himself to ask. 

Maggie pulled herself up, she was pale under her makeup, and let out a shaky sigh. ‘Just Dallas, I think. It came out of nowhere as soon as you said Jermey Beverman, it was like you had opened a door in my head.’ 

Bucky chuckled and then he laughed. Once he started he found it hard to stop. ‘Of course you would describe it like that...Hell-,’ he scrubbed at his face, refusing to cry. ‘I can’t believe it, I didn’t dare hope....’

Maggie’s eyes were on the floor. Her body stiff as she moved forward and pressed her hand against the emergency button. The elevator grinds to a halt, the mechanism overhead complaining. 

‘Maggie?’ Bucky asked, reaching for her, needing to touch her again. But she pulled herself away as if burnt, pushing her back into the corner of the elevator as far as she could get. 

‘No!’ Maggie’s bottom lip trembled as she struggled to speak but once she started she could seem to stop no matter how hard her heart was breaking. ‘You need to know everything... I’m not gonna lie to you, I didn’t knowingly before but…I influence people, Bucky.’ Tears were falling down her face now, marking the front of her dress. ‘I make people do things without knowing that I am doing it. Thanos had designs for earth long before the Avengers were formed.’ Maggie steeled herself, refusing to look at Bucky as she spoke. ‘He had my parents killed. He arranged the attack on their convoy. The grief made my mind more vulnerable to suggestions. He planted the idea of being a doctor.’

‘But you always wanted to be a doctor…’ Bucky spoke softly, trying to calm her. There was so much rage and confusion coursing through her, Bucky recognised it well. 

‘I’ll never know now!’ Maggie snapped in frustration. ‘I’ll never know if it was what I really wanted or what he had planned all along. Everyone in my family has been in the military, my parents, my grandparents. But I turned out to be a doctor and I just had to be a psychiatrist, didn’t I?!.’ 

Bucky frowned. ‘What's that got to do with it?’ 

Maggie began pulling at her hair, tugging out its artful waves and pins until it fell wild around her face. She wrapped her arms around herself, throat constricting as she spoke, wracking sobs making her body shake. 

‘Don’t you see! They placed me in the perfect field for intelligence and manipulation. Thanos’ spy whether I knew it or not. Someone like Natasha would have made an easy meal of Metcalfe. But for someone like Fury...How many men like Fury take such an interest in their staff doctors? He was a mentor to me, and went out of his way to look after me. A Director of a global security agency took me to the gun range and taught me to shoot, for Christ sake!’ 

‘Thanos is gone, you don’t need to run…’ Bucky stepped into her space, not touching her though he longed too but just enough so that she could feel him. 

Maggie let out a humourless laugh as she mimicked Thanos’s dry voice. “You think I’m the only one..” you heard him, more of his kind could come,’ Maggie gasped out, her pale eyes full of tears as she searched his face. 

‘Then we’ll stop them,’ Bucky said stubbornly, a hard edge to his voice. ‘We stopped him this time and we can do it again.’ 

‘Hundreds of people died and half the population of the galaxy glitched for three years. And what about next time? What if they don’t want me to participate like Thanos’ did? They can just take the information straight out of my head. What people have told me, things they shouldn’t have because… I’m a sodding Soul Echo or whatever the hell you want to call it. Access codes to Banners weapons lab, the night security guard’s passcode, Colonel Rhodes’ extreme phobia of water....I can’t be around anyone who could be used as a weapon. You..’ Maggie’s voice cracked, a sob choking her. ‘You have been used as a weapon and I am the spy.’ 

‘But you love me?’ Bucky’s voice was so soft, so tender, it broke her heart all over again. His metal hand reached up and wiped away the tears from her cheek. It felt cool against her heated skin. 

‘Of course I love you! How could I bloody not love you.’ Maggie banged her hand against the wall of the elevator. ‘I’ve loved you for months and it's been killing me. It's so selfish of me but here I am wanting you anyway.’ 

‘Why is it selfish to love me?’ Bucky chuckled, raking his fingers through his hair - he actually had the audacity to chuckle at a time like this! 

‘Because it's what he wanted and I know that my feelings are fabricated but...God! They hurt so much!....How can you smile at a time like this?!’

‘Sugar-,’Bucky caught her hands this time and refused to let her go, even though she struggled. He pulled her close and pressed her hand over his heart. ‘I know that they are real. What you feel is real. Cause you said exactly the same thing in the Infinity Verse. You apologised for loving me but you were gonna do it anyway. I don’t think for a damn minute that that purple bastard held any sway in that pace.’ 

Tears pooled in her eyes as she searched his face. ‘But we’ll never know…’ 

With this flesh hand he brushed a rogue strand of hair away from her face. It was pink with tears and flushed, mascara smeared and her hair was flying everywhere but in Bucky’s eyes she’d never looked more perfect. 

‘Fine,’ Bucky said, pushing the ‘Go’ button. 

Maggie blinked. ‘Fine? What do you mean ‘fine’?’ 

‘Your saying you don’t want me to be used as a weapon, that I might tell you SHIELD secrets? Fine, I’ll leave.’ 

Maggie blinked again. Something wasn’t computing. ‘But this is your life? What about Steve?’ 

Bucky sighed and dug his hands into his suit pockets. ‘It hasn’t been my life for a while. It just took me two years with you to realise it. And Stevie understands- he’s nearly as done as I am.’ 

It was nice to finally admit it outloud. It made him feel light, feel light. But Maggie was still looking at him as if he had grown another head. 

‘I can’t ask you to do this for me,’ Maggie breathed, bracing her hands against his chest. 

‘You’re a big part of it, Maggie don’t get me wrong but Winter and I, we’ve done our time. We’re ready to move on.’ 

Maggie smiled slowly. Not her ‘Bucky’ smile but her ‘doctors smile’. There was a subtle difference but Bucky could recognise it. ‘I am happy for you, I really am, Buck.’ 

It was a good thing that Bucky could now read her like a book. Being in her head so many times while they were in the Infinity Verse allowed him a peek into how her mind worked. A lop-sided smile grew across his face, he cupped her cheek and again brushed away tears. They would only be happy tears from now on if he had anything to do with it. 

‘No, you thickhead. I mean, move on  **_with you_ ** . Now. Tonight if you want to!’ 

‘Really?’ Maggie said slowly, understanding building until she looked like she would burst in every direction at once. She let out a shriek giggle of laughter, escaping her mouth as fresh tears fell. Happy tears. ‘You really mean that?! It's just... it's a major step….What do you want to do?’ Maggie asked excitedly, grabbing his hands and bouncing on the spot. 

‘Well, I have 80 years of army pay saved up so we can take a few months off before we’re broke.’ Bucky shrugged. 

It was corny but he really didn’t care. To not do anything or be anywhere was a luxury he’d never had. And to be able to do nothing with her would be a luxury all in itself. 

‘Oh no!’ Maggie grinned, shaking her head. ‘I’m not gonna be some kept woman. If we do this, we’re partners. Partners in life, partners in crime. Everything 50/50.’ 

‘Partners?’ He asked, his voice sounding husky pulling her close. 

‘Partners,’ Maggie whispered as she stretched up onto her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around Bucky’s neck. ‘How many times did I say I love you in the Infinity Verse?’ Maggie asked breathlessly. 

‘ 874 at my last count,’ Bucky replied, gently brushing his cheek against hers. 

‘And how many times did I kiss you?’ Maggie asked cheekily. 

‘Never enough!’ Bucky replied just as the door chimed. Without a moment's hesitation, Bucky scooped her up in his arms, sending her skirts flying and began marching down the hallway.

‘Bucky! What are you doing?!’ Maggie shrieked, clinging to his neck. 

Bucky growled, ‘Doing what I should have done a long time ago.’ Kissing her hungrily on the mouth without breaking his stride. 

‘I should be thankful you didn’t throw me over your shoulder this time,’ Maggie gasped, barely catching her breath, as Bucky literally kicked her door open. 

He hesitated, shifting her in his arm. ‘Did I ever apologise for that?’ 

Maggie smiled and stroked the side of his face. ‘I think we’re even. I haven’t exactly been a saint either.’ 

She hummed, hands cupping his face, kissed him with such fierceness it was as if she was trying to burn away all doubt she had ever caused him. Her kisses were all teeth and tongue, forceful, hard. 

Bucky could barely keep his feet as he bumped into boxes that were strewn across the apartment floor. He gave up the fight. Setting Maggie down on the kitchen counter top, his hands bunched into her hair, drawing an indecent moan from her lips. 

Maggie carded her fingers through his hair, plundering his mouth as Bucky gasped at the sensation, his body trembling as he pulled her flush against him. He needed to feel her, feel the heat radiating from her naked body. Christ, he could cum just from tasting her on his tongue. He was starved for her touch and now she offered herself up on a silver platter. 

Maggie pulled back suddenly, her lips bee stung, her pupils blown as she began impatiently pulling at her skirts till they bunched comically around her waist. High heels locked around his hips, her hands bunching into the lapels of his suit, as she dragged him forcefully back to her mouth. With a growl, Bucky ground his aching erection against her core. He wrapped his hand around her throat as Maggie threw her hand back and crying out with pleasure. 

Her hands made quick work of his jacket and belt. They were on the floor before he knew what happened but as Maggie’s desperate hands sort the top button of his trousers,Bucky caught her wrists and stilled her with a gentle motion. 

‘Please Bucky,’ Maggie whined desperately, her breaths came in harsh pants and she punctuated every word by pressing a kiss against his flushed skin. ‘I want you so bad. Ask me; I’ll give you anything.’

And that was how Bucky made up his mind. He pulled back out of Maggie’s embrace and smoothed her skirts over her trembling legs. 

‘Bucky?’ Maggie asked once again, as Bucky picked her up in his arms. 

‘The way I see it-,’ Bucky’s voice was thick and husky as he carefully made his way to Maggie’s bedroom. ‘I’ve got the opportunity to have our first time all over again. So I ain’t gonna rush it. I’m going to take my time making love to you, Maggie-,’ he paused, closing her door behind him. Her full lips were parted and her needy hands kept searching for a new area of his skin to touch. 

Setting her down at the foot of the bed, Bucky lightly pressed kisses to Maggie’s cheek, her collarbones, the nape of her neck as his clever finger slowly worked the zip of her dress down her body. His chest was pressed to her back as the dress fell away.She was naked underneath, shivering with the sudden cold. His hands instantly replaced fabric, cupping her warm breasts sending quivers through her as she pressed her body against his.  Running his tongue over the outer shell of her ear, he held her tight as her knees began to shake.

‘I’ve waited so long for you. I want to remember every moment that we have together,’ his deep voice whispered in her ear, sending shivers squirming in her belly and loins, throwing her over the edge.

Maggie’s hands clung to him. Tried to pull at the fabric of his shirt and trousers, wanting him closer. Needing him inside her but Bucky was happy to wait, he’d waited long enough, he could take a few moments to savour her. 

She reached behind her, once again trying to ease down his zipper but Bucky wrapped his arms around her body, stilling every motion as he breathed into her ear. ‘I want this to be about you. I’d give you the world if you asked me but right now, tonight, let me show you how much I love.’ 

Maggie could barely think as Bucky cupped her cheek and tilted her face round so that he could kiss her deeply, fiercely, using his height to bear down upon her. 

Kicking away her dress, Maggie stumbled backward on the bed. Raising herself on to her elbow, she reached for the straps of her high heels but Bucky took her ankle in his hand and without breaking eye contact, slowly kissed his way up the inside of her calf. Still fully clothed he crawled up her body, grinning wolfishly as Maggie came apart in his arms. 

‘Bucky, please!’ Maggie begged, her voice near hysterical. She felt Bucky smile against the side of her thigh as a cool metal hand skimmed up her side and pushed her legs further apart. 

‘Tell me what you need, sugar,’ Bucky said, pressing kisses against her hips.

Maggie sobbed and bit the back of her hand. ‘I need you. I need to have you inside me.’ 

Hell! Has anything sounded more perfect? Winter felt very smug inside his head. 

Bucky rose up so that he could look down at Maggie’s face. Her chest rose and fell in harsh pants, her face was flushed and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. Her eyes however, they were clear and bright, studying him.  His dark hair hung about his face and Maggie reached up to tuck it behind his ears. He took the opportunity to kiss her palm. 

‘I meant what I said. I want tonight to be about you.’ He kissed her deeply, cupping her face in his hands and she opened her mouth to him. Maggie moaned as he pulled away but  before she could protest he knelt between her thighs and kissed her stomach briefly before cupping her bum and pulling her hips towards his mouth.

Maggie saw stars as Bucky’s tongue swirled around her; lapping up her juices, he tormented her clit and delved deep within her. Over and over and over….Rhythmically, lulling motion just like his dancing. So sure of himself, it was like he knew her body better than she did. He drew out her pleasure, working his fingers and playing with his tongue until tears ran down her cheeks, and then just as Maggie was about to climax he’d withdraw. Nuzzling the inside of her thighs or kissing the plains of her stomach, Bucky smiled adorninly as she writhed beneath him. 

‘Please Bucky,’ she cried weakly, the pleasure was too much, her fingernails scratched his scalp and neck and she wrapped her legs over his shoulders. She was so weak. As pleasure built within her body, she felt like she would shatter like a shard of glass.

The sound of her pleasure echoed in his ears. He could feel her body respond to every touch and quiver like the strings of a harp, with every sensual lick he delivered to her. Bucky revelled in her; he would show her how he planned to worship her for the rest of their days.

His stubble scratched her thighs but it was the sensation that sent her over the edge. She released so fiercely that she threw her head back against the mattress and screamed as deep waves of pleasure washed over her. Sobs caught in her throat as bliss blinded her.

Bucky laid gentle kisses up her body and pressing his body on top of hers, being careful to hold his weight off her. He smiled and memorised her face for all time; flushed and tear stained it couldn't be described as anything other than perfect.

‘Still alive?’ Bucky asked dryly, looking down at her flushed face and hooded eyes. 

Maggie chuckled between gasps. ‘I’ll let you know when my soul has returned to my body.’ She laughed again, this time sitting up on her elbows to catch his face in a scorching kiss. ‘ _ Couth of’ ow, peas. _ ’ she murmured against his lips. 

Bucky pulled back, smirking. ‘English, please?’ 

But they both knew what she meant. Hands working together, the two of them work Bucky out of his clothing, punctuating with stolen kisses and licks. Tossing the two thousand dollar suit haphazardly across the room.

Maggie made a noise of surprise as Bucky flipped her onto his front so that she was straddling his waist. He bit back a moan as her wet heat pressed against him. 

‘Fuck! Buck…’ Maggie’s voice died in her throat when she saw Bucky’s cock. Even in the low light of the bedroom, Maggie could see that he was large and imposing, thick and weighty. He looked fucking delicious! 

Heat radiated from Bucky's skin like a furnace. Maggie shuddered, running her hands over the glorious bounty of tanned flesh, tasting it, smelling the whiskey, cologne and traditional soap- it was enough to make her beg for mercy. Every inch of his torso was strong, tight and powerful, dark chest hair gleaming in the low light. He pressed himself against her,  swiping his shaft through her drenched heat and thrusting in without a second thought.

Sunshine! Being inside her always felt like sunshine on a tiled floor, rays coming through a leafy canopy. He was home. 

Maggie cried out, her back arching as he filled her to the brim. Pleasure and pain mixed into one until it was a heady cocktail. Sending Maggie rocking against him, throwing her head back and grabbing on to Bucky’s shoulders for more leverage. 

Bucky held her hip with his metal hand, pushing and pulling with her momentum, while the other rested between her breasts. Her heartbeat pounded through his fingertips, punctated with each thrust, each panted breath- Bucky felt like he had her heart on the end of a string. Maggie’s head was thrown back, her back bent so that her chest arched up to the sky. He was so deep within but he needed more, needed to be closer. 

Bucky’s arms wrapped about her waist as he hitched her on to his lap, so that they were sitting face to face. Maggie shuddered and gasped as she slid onto his shaft, stretching her inner walls even further but stilled her rapid movements, suddenly aware of how close their faces were, how tender Bucky’s eyes were as he watched her- lips parted and face flushed, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. 

_ ‘For as long as we both shall live…’ _

She didn’t know if it was a memory, Maggie didn’t care anymore. All she knew was that it would be true. 

Tenderly she raised her hands and cradled Bucky’s face as they slowly moved together. Arms and bodies entwined, they couldn't be physically closer.  Sweat coated their skin and sweet juices of love made their movements' slick and fluid. Their lips worked seamlessly, like partners in a dance, their tongues moved rhythmically, teasing as much pleasure as they could.

Maggie pressed her face against Bucky’s metal shoulder, enjoying its coolness as Bucky supported her lower back. They rose and fell, lapping at each other's mouths, kissing away the past hurts.

Maggie hadn’t realised how much she missed him until she had him wrapped in her arms, never wanting to let him go. 

Bucky braced his hand on her lower back, supporting her as she continued to impale herself on him, heaving herself up and down. The tension coiled within them until it was too much for their bodies to bear.

‘Bucky!’ Maggie screamed, dragging her nails down his back, scoring his tanned skin with deep angry welts. While Bucky dug his fingertips into her flesh and held her tight as she writhed against him. Ssars dancing in front of his eyes making his head spin as he came hard and fast, filling her body up. 

They came together, reaching blinding ecstasy then both collapsing to the bed, their bodies still joined: panting in sated satisfaction and pleasure. Maggie nestled into Bucky’s chest and he encircled her with his arms, dragging a soft blanket over them, protecting them from the chill of the air. 

They were silent for a long while, holding each other in the dark, Bucky drew circles on Maggie’s stomach with the tip of his finger. 

‘This is how I wanted our first time to be,’ Bucky hummed, smiling sleepily and pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Maggie shifted in Bucky’s arms so that their foreheads pressed together. ‘It wasn’t?’

Bucky chuckled with a bit of embarrassment. ‘No, it was not. We…’ 

Maggie suddenly interjected. ‘Wait, don’t tell me. I want to remember on my own.’ 

Bucky smiled slowly. It was now or never. All or nothing. Bucky was done having nothing. 

‘Fine by me. I can wait..’ Bucky said lightly as he sat up and grabbed his trousers from the floor, extracting something from the pocket. 

Maggie cocked her eyebrow with amusement as Bucky lifted up their linked hands and slipped the ring on her finger without saying another word.

Maggie opened her mouth once and then closed it, sitting up on her elbows so she could look into Bucky’s eyes. ‘Should I ask?’ Maggie laughed, stretching out her hand so that the ring flashed in the low light. 

Bcuky tucked a loose strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear, pulling her close so that she was curled tightly into his side. ‘No, but I will eventually.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second to last chapter. I actually found it really difficult to write mainly because I don't want this story to end. There is an epilogue coming sometime this week. 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has stuck with me through this- shout out to Puddleduck and Eileenalone! Please comment, kudos and subscribe. Also I am looking for more story ideas so if you have any please let me know. x


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of drabbles. Some set in the present, while others are in the past. 
> 
> \- 5 years later  
> \- Long time no see….  
> \- Via China  
> -Founded fears...  
> -Sleepless in Seattle   
> -Something Blue...  
> -Enhanced Union   
> \-- Number 4 Applegarth Street  
> -Speech  
> -The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Initially I felt a bit bad about taking so long to post this but looking at how long its turned out to be, you're welcome!

**-5 years later**

Her name was written on the whiteboard, the syllabuses were being handed out. Regardless of the nerves she felt bubbling up in her chest, Maggie jumped straight into her lecture. She’d practised it enough times in the mirror to know it off by heart. 

‘As you will know from your syllabuses, my name is Dr Maggie Isle. I am not a psychologist, I am practising psychiatrist by trade. However, since my good friend Dr Rosenthal-,’ Maggie acknowledged her former colleague who was sat at the front row, ‘- needed someone who specialises in Infinity Verse theory and its associated stimuli, who am I to turn down a tenured position at NYU.’ 

There was a spattering of laughter as Maggie hit a button on her control panel, dimming the lights. 

The projector flicked to a new slide . Its light glinted off young bright eyes that watched her intently. You could have heard a pin drop above the faint hum of laptops and slurps of coffee from travel cups. 

‘The term Infinity Verse is explored further in your handbooks in chapter 10 but for the purposes of today's lecture-,’ Maggie clicked to a new slide showing a diagram of neurons firing in a brain. ‘The Infinity Verse is commonly agreed to have been a merging point for collective consciousnesses in the galaxy. This is highly debated by astronomers, physicists, conspiracy theorists, philosophers ... pretty much anybody has had their two cents. But in my lectures we shall be focusing on the rare individuals who could jump memory to memory within the Infinity Verse. Now, can anyone tell me what distinguishes a ‘Jumper’?’ 

A sea of hands raised. It was obvious that it was early in the semester because all her students were still eager. Maggie pointed to a young Asian girl who was clad head to foot in NYU merchandise. 

Timidly, the girl tucked a lock of dyed pink hair behind her ear as she spoke. ‘Jumpers are distinguished by one of three traits. Damage to the hippocampus and the neo-cortex, lobotomy like trauma or sustained psychological abuse.’ 

‘Perfect. And how have we proved that the ‘Jumper’ phenomenon really did occur?’ Maggie smiled up at the girl as she sucked in a breath. 

‘ There have been several case studies carried out; Isle and Maya, Isle and MacCormac et al, Isle and Hendricks…’ The girl's voice drifted off as she shifted awkwardly in her seat. 

Maggie chuckled. ‘It's okay, you can say it. I literally wrote the book on The Jumper Phenomenon.’ 

More laughter this time. Easy laughter. Maggie could recognise it by now. It took college students a while to find their feet in a new class, especially in an emerging field like Infinity Verse Theory. It might have been five years ago but the effects of the glitch were still plaguing the planet. Socially, economically. Half her class looked like they should still be in highschool or maybe that was her just feeling old. 

‘Is it true that you worked with the Avengers?’ An obnoxious voice called from the back of the lecture theatre. 

Maggie’s teeth clenched together and she took her glasses off to polish the lenses with her scarf. ‘I didn’t catch your name?’

He was tall and good looking, his hair artfully quaffed, with a jumper tied around his shoulders. 

_ What a wanker.  _

‘Jor…’ 

‘Please stand up so that we can all see you,’ Maggie interrupted. 

The young man got to his feet, grinning cockly to his friends who laughed behind their hands. ‘Jordan Holmes. Of the Holmes Corporation, you may have heard of it. I graduated from …’ 

‘Well, Mr Holmes , I require people to raise their hands in my classes. I find shouting out incredibly rude and I will use it as an excuse to kick you out of my lecture so fast that your head spins. Am I making myself clear?’ 

The grin had fallen from his face. He regarded her frostily as he went to sit back down but Maggie was not done with him yet. 

‘I was not being rhetorical, Mr Holmes. Am I making myself clear?’ 

‘Yes, Ma’am .’ 

‘I’m so glad,’ Maggie replied dryly. ‘And to answer your question, yes, I did work for the Avengers. I even took part in The First Battle and the Glitch Offensive-,’ 

Maggie paused for dramatic effect. This was not the first time she had been asked about her previous job. Anyone who had bothered to Google her would have seen her standing in the background as the Avengers posed amongst the Wakandan troops on a field of victory, or as they were awarded their medals by the President. 

They waited with baited breath. 

‘-but as this is psychology and not a modern history I suggest you turn to page…’ 

Her audience groaned loudly. 

Maggie was not surprised to see Natasha leaning against the wall, watching the students filter out . ‘Nicely done, Doc,’ she smirked arching her eyebrow. 

‘I didn’t take you much for the college type. There is a class on basket weaving and embroidery down the corridor, if you're interested?’ Maggie smiled, packing the last of her things into a satchel. 

‘I’ll pass thanks. I’m just here to make sure you're on time.’ 

Of course she was. They had only told one other person but that was Steve. And when it came to Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers was an open book. 

Maggie sighed, already knowing she’d lost the argument. ‘I can take the subway…’

‘ I’m driving. You can get changed on the way.’ 

**

**-Long time no see….**

For Dan and Lauren it had been with an overwhelming sense of relief when Maggie’s car had pulled up outside the Big House. They had outpaced the kids, leaving the screen door swinging and leaping down the porch stairs. Maggie was only half way out of the car door when Dan caught her up in his arms and, swinging her around like he did when they were little. 

Lauren had never met Bucky before but she pulled him into a tight, motherly hug, kissing him and patting him on the cheek affectionately. He smiled a little shyly, tucking his hair behind his ears in a nervous movement. 

Next came the screaming, howling kids who collided with Maggie, wrestling her to the ground in a fit of excitement. She was lucky that the ground had dried up over the spring or she would have ended up covered in mud. 

Hannah had had a growth spurt the previous summer and was now as tall as Maggie. Matt still had his baby fat and chubby cheeks hiding under his dark curly hair, there was still a quiet shyness to him but he didn’t carry his blanket anymore and he’d lost his two front teeth. 

Maggie looked up from where Hannah was busy telling her about the political debate club she was in, to see Bucky crouched in front of Matt so that they were the same height. 

‘Thanks for bringing Maggie back-,’ Matt hesitated a little and shuffled his feet, he wasn’t wearing any shoes. ‘I don’t know if you remember me. A lot of my friends who gl-glitched don’t remember before.’ 

Bucky smiled encouragingly. ‘Of course I remember you, bud. You’re the one who told me to get Maggie flowers for her birthday.’ 

‘That was you!’ Maggie gasped as she tried to pick up Matt- nope! Too heavy. 

Bucky shrugged nonchalantly, shooting her a lop-sided grin as Lauren ushered them into the house. ‘Got to keep you on your toes.’ 

‘So what’s the plan now?’ Dan asked a few hours later as they sat at the dinner table. He slurred his words slightly, obviously he hadn’t got Maggie’s hint that Bucky could out drink him.

Bucky smiled apologetically and put the last bottle in the recycling bin. 

Lauren had put on such a spread that Bucky was on his third helping of blueberry pie. Maggie had managed a few bites of her beef ragu before her stomach began to churn unpleasantly again. She distracted herself by watching Matt colour as he sat on her lap. 

‘Travelling, I think. I ...we-,’ Maggie smiled over at Bucky who had a purple smudge of blueberry on his cheek. ‘- We wanted to take some time off. Explore, relax…’ 

Dan got up from the table, wobbling slightly, and pulled a bunch of maps from the odds and ends draw. He spread it across the table, heedless of the dirty pots, obviously determined to plan out their travel plan then and there. 

‘Rome?’ 

‘Too touristy.’ Bucky shot her a subtle glance across the table. Maggie winked. Luckily she knew enough of Bucky’s history to know which areas to avoid. 

‘Paris?’ Lauren chipped in, stabbing the map with her finger excitedly. 

‘Mmmh,’ Maggie hummed, pondering. 

‘Mont Blanc?’ Bucky suggested, getting up from the table and placing their dishes in the sink. 

‘Ohh yes,’ Lauren gushed. ‘A sky chalet, nestled in the mountains.’ 

‘I do love a cabin,’ Maggie said dryly, not daring to look at the smoulder that Bucky was giving her. 

‘Moscow?’ 

‘Nope!’ 

Lauren huffed, looping her arm around Maggie's shoulders. ‘ But we’ve only just got you back? What about staying here and using the ranch as a base?’ A broad impish grin sprang up on her face. ‘If memory serves, you still haven't been to a baseball game.’ 

Bucky inhaled his beer. 

‘Still sure about joining the family?’ Dan asked, slapping Bucky hard on the back. 

Lauren reached back in her chair and pulled out a red pen from the odds and ends draw. ‘What about Route 66?’

**

**-Via China**

‘I’m pretty sure you just flashed a group of boy scouts,’ Nat called over her shoulder as she pulled into the drop off bay just outside of City Hall. 

Maggie smoothed out her outfit and patted on the last of her lipstick. ‘I hope they cherish the memory.’ 

Nat shifted in the front seat so that she was fully turned towards Maggie. ‘You look beautiful by the way.’ Her smile was slow and secretive as always but as Maggie had come to know Nat more, she knew that the spy had a soft side.

Maggie let out a shaky breath, her hands clasped together in her lap. ‘To tell you the truth, I’m a little nervous.’ 

Nat reached into the back seat and put her hand on top of Maggie’s, she opened her mouth to speak just as the passenger side door flew open. 

‘Did you go via China?! Where the hell have you been, Romanov?’ Steve snapped ducking his head into the car. ‘Hi, Maggie, you look lovely.’ He said instantly beaming at Maggie as he helped her out of the car. 

Steve had a small child resting on his hip, his tiny hands clutching on to the lapels of his suit. 

Maggie smoothed down the fabric of her dress. It was the bronze silk camisole dress that Maggie had last worn to meet Demmie for dinner. She was a little curvier now but its floaty skirt and rich colour was set off by the autumn sunshine. Plus secretly she knew it was Bucky’s favourite. Her shoulders were covered with a white cashmere wrap, her dark hair was loose but pulled to one side over her shoulder. The only jewellery she wore was Bucky’s mother ring on her left hand and her dog tags on her wrist.

‘Hi Jacob, did you miss me?’ Maggie said quietly as she pulled the little boy out of Steve’s arms and kissed his cheek as she hosted him on to her hip. ‘Was Stevie getting a bit stressed?’ 

Jacob smiled impishly, nodding emphatically, a strand of dark hair that had been neatly combed and gelled fell across his forehead. He wore a smart shirt with braces that had a Brooklyn Dodgers pin stuck to the elastic. 

They all fell into step as they climbed the steps of City Hall- Nat had pretty much just abandoned her car. Jacob had begun to gabble excitedly at her telling her about the sandpit at nursery. Nat who obviously had no idea what the little boy was saying, nodded patiently anyway. Maggie nudged Steve’s elbow. 

‘So, how is he?’ Maggie asked, keeping her voice low.

Steve glanced down at her, his baby blues crinkling at the edges as he smiled wryly. 

‘He’s playing it cool but I know he’s on cloud nine.’ 

Maggie looked down at her feet as they continued up the steps. Her smile couldn’t have got any bigger. ‘And how are you?’ 

Steve was a step ahead as they got to the top of the steps. Hands in his pockets, he looked out over the New York skyline. ‘You know, I think this is the best I’ve felt in a long time-,’ he hesitated for a moment looking at his hands. Before pulling Maggie into a one armed hug. ‘Come one, you cannot be late.’ 

‘Fashionably late, actually,’ Nat corrected. 

**

**-Founded fears...**

Maggie was laid on the double bed in the guest bedroom with a cold flannel pressed to her head, when Bucky returned from the garage. 

‘Hey,’ he said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. He stroked her arm with the pad of his thumb, carefully waking her in case she was asleep. ‘What did Lauren say? Do you have a stomach bug?’ 

Maggie pulled the flannel away from her eyes and sat up, resting her back against the pillows. She fixed a smile to her face, nudged his shoulder playfully. ‘You do know that Lauren is a veterinarian and I’m the MD, right?’ 

Bucky shrugged but wouldn’t be distracted. He studied the face of the woman he loved more than anything. All the blood had drained from Maggie’s cheeks and lips, giving her an almost otherworldly glow, her eyes searched his face as Bucky leaned forward: waiting with baited breath for the bad news that was to come. 

‘What is it?’ He asked, his voice was hard and void of emotion, he knew it was too good to be true: Fury's blessing that he leave SHIELD, the World Peace treaty, his tentative truce with Stark; all good things must come to an end.

Bucky sat by her side on the bed and took her soft hands in his. ‘Are you sick?’ The words that escaped his throat were hoarse and rushed, as was his breathing which was verging on panic. Tears began to spill freely down her face. Bucky brushed her hair away from her face and wiped the tears away with his thumb. 

‘No, I’m not sick…’ Maggie breathed. 

Bucky cupped her face as she struggled to speak, her throat being choked with sobs. But as she turned to look at him, tears pouring down her face, her face split into a smile. Gently, so gently her hands were feather light, Maggie placed Bucky’s hands over her stomach. ‘Bucky, I’m pregnant.’ 

He opened his mouth but no words came out, it was as if the cogs of his brain had slammed to a stop. He looked from his large hand that nearly covered all of Maggie’s stomach and back to Maggie. 

‘My implant as a year old when we went into the Infinity Verse and they only last three years. But I thought with time not working as it should and being stuck there- not connected to our corporal bodies….’ Maggie was rambling. She was still in shock herself. 

When Lauren had suggested that she take a test, Maggie had laughed- it was impossible, even if there had been an accident she couldn’t be experiencing morning sickness already? Morning sickness started when in the first trimester after 6 weeks. They’d only been out of the Infinity Verse a week and a half… 

‘I'm going to be a Dad?’ He whispered under his breath, barely able to believe his own words.

It was the only time she’d ever felt his hands tremble. ‘Tell me what you're feeling?’ 

He stared back at her, his eyes impossibly wide and bright. Awed. ‘I never thought I would ever feel this happy ever again.’ 

But Maggie let out a noise that was half a sob and half a laugh. ‘You’re not overwhelmed?’ 

Bucky chuckled softly, breathlessly. ‘Hell, I am so overwhelmed but Christ-,’ he scrubbed his face, wiping tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. ‘I’m going to be a Dad.’ He says it louder now, with more strength and certainty. 

Maggie cupped his head and smoothed down his hair, a few minutes ago she had been lost; a mother, her? No, she couldn't see it, she was too distractible, too selfish- but then her eyes had met Bucky's: strong, unyielding, he was her sanctuary, her other half in every sense of the word. Whatever life had thrown at them and whatever trials they faced, they faced them together and overcame them. So, why not this one? Pulling his head up she kissed his brow and wrapped her arms around his neck as she sat on his lap, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

‘Hi Dad,’ Maggie smiled as she whispered, nuzzling Bucky’s neck. 

‘Hi Mom,’ Bucky sighed deeply, wrapping his arms around her body and holding her tight. 

**

**-Sleepless in Seattle**

‘We should have stayed in Utah. We shouldn’t have travelled, I knew all the time in the car would be bad for you…’ Bucky was pacing up and down the examination room. 

Maggie couldn’t really blame him. She knew that his senses were in overdrive, his was in a heightened state. Seattle General might be one of the nicest hospitals that Maggie had ever been to but that didn’t stop Bucky from flinching every time an orderly in scrubs walked by, or the antiseptic smell that burnt the back of his throat. A silver tray of tools had been placed on the side of the examination bench, it was the first thing that Maggie had moved when they were ushered in by a nurse. 

  
  


‘We weren’t exactly taking E at a Moon Party in Bali...Bucky, you’re gonna wear out the floor. It's just a check up. There is no need to worry.’ Maggie tried to lighten his mood, drawing him out as she caught his hand as he paced, squeezing her fingers. 

If only she knew, Bucky thought. Maggie was asleep next to him. Her breathing was heavy and even, her hand splayed over Bucky’s chest as she snuggled closer. As he watched her sleeping face, he let his mind relax until Winter’s chilly presence came to the forefront of his mind. 

_ ‘Brother _ ,’ Winter said in a way of welcome.

He was a part of Bucky’s mind as much as Bucky was a part of Winter’s mind. Thanks to Maggie, Winter had a free reign to live as part of Bucky how he pleased; they coexisted in relative peace. 

_ You heard Maggie’s news?  _ Bucky asked, his words echoing around his head. 

_ ‘We have bred her. Well done,’  _ Winter replied, his voice was as close to happy as Bucky had ever heard it. 

_ She is not an animal!  _ Bucky snapped back _. We didn’t breed her. We’re having a child together. That is what normal people do. _

‘ _ We are not normal. _ ’ Bucky knew what Winter was trying to say. Nothing about what he could offer Maggie would ever be normal. He’d known that when he’d made love to her and selfishly he’d done it anyway. 

_ I know we’re not but Maggie needs me and _ \- Bucky couldn’t put it into words so he sent Winter images instead. Bucky crouched in a filthy cell in the corners of their mind, Winter straightened his back and glared at the Hydra operative. Eat, sleep, exercise, repeat- Winter looked after them. 

‘ _ She said she wanted me to be part of the family… That she needs me _ .’ Winter’s voice was quiet, almost hesitant, as if scared he had misunderstood. 

Bucky smiled despite himself.  _ Is there any part of me that doesn’t love her? _ He hadn’t meant to think it out loud but Winter under his meaning. 

‘ _ No, there is not _ .’ 

_ Fine, _ Bucky huffed,  _ but I’m gonna need you now more than ever. We have a new mission.  _

_ ‘Ready to comply.’  _ Winter’s focus was like a razor’s edge.

_ Maggie is going to need to rely on me. She needs to be my focus. I need you to be vigilant when I can’t. I need you to be my eyes and ears…-  _ Bucky tried to push away a flash of fear but they had both sensed it.  _ I need you on my six.  _

_ ‘Copy, Brother.’  _

They had been on the road for two months. The best two months of Bucky’s life. They had got in Maggie’s car in Utah and drove. They had a few stops marked on the map but they took their time, moving through states at their own pace. Sending Steve and Sam postcards and tacky souvenirs from every place they stopped. The tackier the better in Maggie’s opinion. 

For Steve they always chose tiny porcelain angels with various phrases like ‘Hope and prayers from Winnemucca, Nevada!’ and ‘Sending love from Six Rivers National Forest!’ painted on the front. Sam struck Maggie as a snowglobe type of guy which is why there would be a dozen arriving at his apartment via UPS. 

  
  


Each night Bucky would fall asleep with Maggie in his arms, with Winter acting as sentinel, watching over them. 

They had arrived in Seattle earlier that evening and had eaten fried seafood. Maggie’s morning sickness had worn off somewhere between San Francisco and Portland. They walked through China town at night, Maggie laughed as he pointed out seemingly obvious things- a dog dyed pink, a three wheeled motorbike, a street performer who danced on bits of cardboard. 

It was only later, when Bucky was in that comfortable place between waking and dreaming, that he bolted upright- WRONG! Wrongness…

_ ‘The pup does not sound right _ !’ Winter urged, his agitation sending adrenaline through Bucky’s veins. ‘ _ Listen.’ _

Careful not to wake Maggie, Bucky pressed his ear to her stomach. He held his breath. 

In the examination room the next morning, Bucky's eyes were suddenly very serious. ‘Maggie, listen to me. I think we need to go back to SHIELD...’

‘What?’ Maggie said in surprise. 

Bucky struggled as if he couldn’t form the words. ‘The baby...our baby will have the serum in her blood, she could be a Soul Echo like you and-’ he dropped his voice into a hushed whisper. ‘ We made her in the Infinity Verse. There is no way she’s gonna be a normal kid and..What if something goes wrong?’ 

_ I can’t lose you.  _

Maggie tutted. ‘Which is exactly why we need to stay as far away from SHIELD as we can! I want the baby to grow up normal, not under some microscope-’ a smile broke over her face. ‘Wait, you think it's going to be a girl?’ 

Bucky splayed his hand over her small belly. She’d really only just started showing. 

He spoke to the bump with such love and affection. ‘She’ll be a girl. Be clever like you. A real daddies’ girl. And I won't let anything happen to her. Winter and me, we'll take care of our girls. Steve won't let anything happen either, Sam too.' 

_ How could this man be the Winter Soldier? _

Maggie covered Bucky’s hand with her own. ‘Which would Winter like?’ She asked smiling up at him. 

‘He doesn’t mind but he keeps telling me that we need to settle down. Build something defensible...He may have a point, Sugar-’ 

Bucky stopped suddenly as a doctor burst into the room. Maggie could tell that he wanted to run in a dozen different directions at once but he stayed by her head, holding her hand. If it was possible Maggie loved him even more. 

‘Good morning! How are Mummy and Daddy today...all good?’ Dr Abrams chirped as she busied herself prepping the ultrasound machine. ‘I can see from your chart that this is your first scan, and you haven’t had a check up … at all?’ She queried, flicking between the pages. 

Maggie cleared her throat, a little embarrassed, she felt like she was being told off by a teacher. ‘I’m an MD, I’ve been keeping track of my BP and the baby’s heart rate. We’ve taken a bit ...of a sabbatical at the moment.’ 

Dr Abrams laughed as she pushed up Maggie’s t-shirt, spreading jelly over her stomach. Bucky started as if to protest but Maggie gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. 

‘I bet you guys glitched. So many glitchers I know have up and done crazy things- got tattoos, go to India- its part of making up for lost time, I guess...Now, if you folks hang on two seconds, hopefully we’ll be able to get a picture for you.’ 

As Dr Abrams stuck her tongue out as she concentrated on the screen, Maggie spoke softly to Bucky. ‘What about Tony?’ 

‘What about Tony?’ Bucky replied eyeing the doctor as she worked on Maggie as if she was dangerous. 

Maggie was trying to distract him more than anything. ‘We could ask to use his facilities. Keep it away from SH… From Nicholas. Tony’s got Morgan now, he… he’ll understand.’

A muscle jumped in Bucky’s jaw. ‘He’ll use it against us… and there’s Rhodes. They’re ...close.’ 

‘Family trouble?’ The Doctor interjected as she swivelled to face them on her stool. ‘I know, it can be the worst. Who to tell, who not to tell, where to spend Christmas… so would you like the good news?’ 

Maggie tried to smile, a knot of anxiety suddenly tugging at her chest. ‘Sure?’ 

The doctor moved the scanner over Maggie’s torso. The jelly was supposed to be room temperature but it felt cold. ‘Well, Baby number one is very strong and big-’ 

The tiny stucco heartbeat from the ultrasound scanner was the only sound either of them heard. A star flaring with each heartbeat. Maggie daren't move, Maggie daren't even breathe...duh-duhn, duh-duhn. Deep heavy sighs sound nearby. Bucky’s barley breath as he wraps his arms around Maggie’s shoulders, kissing her cheek, her hair, 

Maggie blinked, tearing her eyes from the screen, as if she misheard. ‘I’m sorry, Baby number one?’ 

‘Yes…’ Dr Abrams looks around in surprise. ‘You didn’t you know? You’re having twins…’ 

Dr Abrams adjusted the scanner. A second star, burning bright against the dark background of the screen, beating in a steady rhythm with its sibling. 

‘Twins...’ Bucky breathed hoarsely and abruptly sat down on a chair as his legs turned to jelly. 

**

**-Something Blue...**

The reception to City Hall was a large seating area a lot like a train station, with marble floors and a high vaulted ceiling. Sam had a clipboard resting on his lap, pen sticking out the corner of his mouth, filling out paperwork. Hayley is playing with 4 year old Rebecca on her lap. Rebecca’s dark hair was plaited down her back, resting against her flowery dress, she held Hayley's stick carefully in her hands. Bucky was standing opposite, leaning against a window, a small and ineffable expression resting on his face. It was half way between a reluctant smile and a frown; as if he couldn't remember enough of the tiny details of this moment. 

‘On your left,’ Sam called over at Bucky as Steve opened the front doors for Natasha and Maggie. Jacob waved excitedly at them from, pointing over at the corner where they stood. 

Bucky stood up straighter, pulling his grey suit jacket and readjusting his collar. His hair was freshly cropped against his jawline and tucked neatly behind his ears. 

‘Ah, there’s the other one! I knew I hadn’t let him in the bus terminal.’ Sam smiled, as Jacob ran ahead and started jabbering at Sam, pulling on his trouser leg as he told him about an exciting bus he saw outside. 

Sam may have been a battle hardened soldier, but when it came to his Godson, he was a push over. Steve on the other hand doted on Rebecca. Whether it was piggy back rides or playing tig in the park, she had Captain America wrapped around her little finger.

‘How many times has he said a joke like that?’ Maggie asked, siling up at Bucky as she came to rest against his side. The two of them watched their friends, smiling and laughing as the kids decided it was time that Uncle Stevie played tag with them around the reception area. 

‘You mean, since breakfast?’ Bucky replied, pulling Maggie into his side to kiss her temple. ‘How was class?’ 

Maggie sighed happily, leaning into his touch. ‘It went well, I think. I’m sure they’ll hate me by the time their first assignment comes round but we’ll see.’ 

‘You should have seen her put the fear of god into them. Dr Hardass over here.’ Nat commented, giving Maggie an approving look. 

‘Natasha, you can’t say A.S.S. in front of the K.I.D.S ,’ Steve hissed, covering Rebecca’s ears. 

Hayley snorted. ‘You’re such a prude,’ she smirked, kissing Steve affectionately on the cheek. 

‘Oh, I didn’t know you were going to be one of  **those** teachers, Maggie,’ Sam said suggestively. 

Bucky’s arms crossed over his chest but he was grinning like the cat who got the cream. ‘Flirt while you can, Wilson. Today's your last chance.’ 

‘Why? Is something happening today?’ Sam replied innocently.

‘Isle and Barnes!’ A cranky looking woman called from behind the desk. Everyone sprung up from their seats, the kids were scooped up. Maggie straightened her wrap and Bucky gave his hair a nervous pat. 

‘Wait, one min.. I know you said you didn’t want anything Maggie but …’ Hayley pulled out a small bouquet of red tulips from her bag, and a matching buttonhole for Bucky. ‘Steve promised me that they match your outfits.’ 

As Maggie took the flowers, her hands closing around the paper wrapping, her lip started to tremble. Grabbing the front of her coat, Maggie pulled her friend into a bone crushing hug. 

‘Have I ever told you what a good friend you are?’ Maggie’s voice was muffled against Hayley’s shoulder. 

‘I thought it was the least I could do after setting me up with my own neighbourhood Mr Rogers.’ Maggie could feel the salacious grin on her friend's face. 

‘So you’ve got your something old-’ Natasha pointed at Bucky and Steve as the pair hugged. ‘You’re something new-’ she pointed to the flowers. ‘I leant you that wrap but where’s your something blue?’ Nat asked mischievously, cocking her eyebrow. 

She knew damn well where her something blue was!

Blushing so deeply she matched her bouquet. With a quick glance over her shoulder, Maggie hitched up the hem of her dress and flashed a baby blue garter on her thigh. 

‘Isle and Barnes!’ Maggie actually shrieked, dropping her skirt, as the cranky receptionist called again. 

They made their way to a set of imposing doors which led to the courthouse. Bucky held her arm as they led the way, gently squeezing her hand. 

‘You ready?’ Maggie whispered in his ear as they waited for the doors to open. 

‘For ages, Sugar. I had to wait for you to catch up.’ 

**

**-Enhan** **ced Union**

In the distance a church bell struck midnight. Fury’s face was illuminated by the sudden flare of a match, the end of his cigar smouldered, a burning ember in the darkness. 

His feet were cold. His shoulder ached. Nicholas Fury, Director of SHIELD was not used to being kept waiting. Especially not in a field in the middle of New England. 

But tonight was different. 

A jet engine echoed through the night sky, a few car engines too, followed by a couple motorbikes. 

He turned his eyepatch towards the glare of the car lights. They left the engines running as a dozen different people stepped out of their vehicles. He hadn’t met all of them but he knew them from his surveillance reports. 

Jessica Jones flicked out the kickstand of her bike, shaking out her hair as she pulled her helmet off her head.  Molly Hernandez jumped off the back.  Eddie Brock remained seated, the engine of his Harley Davidson hummed. Luke Cage and Logan Howlett leant against the side of a 4x4, arms across their chests, both eyeing him suspiciously. 

Fury was grateful for the weight of his Magnum on his hip. 

As Ironman’s jets scorched the earth, Captain America slammed his car door, followed by the Winter Soldier and Dr Isle. Vision glided to the ground with Wanda in his arms, carefully he set her on the grass. 

‘It’s good to see you, Nick.’ Always polite, Steve Rogers held out his hand and shook it warmly. He smiled but it was tight, more of a grimace. 

‘Are you going to explain to me why I’m here, or are you going to keep me guessing till the sun comes up?’ 

‘This shouldn’t take long Old Man, you’ll be in your dressing gown and nightcap in no time,’ Tony smirked as he unclipped his helmet, tucking it under his arm. 

‘Fury, don’t play dumb. You already know why you’re here,’ Dr Isle smiled, stepping out from behind the Winter Soldier and pulling him into a warm hug. 

Lots of things had changed since the glitch. World Peace had been declared, the global economy was in the gutter but atleast Maggie hadn’t changed…. Well, certainly not on the inside. 

Fury held Maggie’s hands for a moment as he eyed her frame. She wore a thick woollen coat against the evening chill but his trained eye could make out the telltale signs of a bump hiding beneath. 

‘Mazel Tov,’ Fury said dryly, grinning a little cheekily as he leaned down and spoke in Maggie’s ear conspiratory. ‘Do I need to ask who the father is?’ 

Maggie nudged him playfully in the arm. ‘We wouldn’t be here if it was someone else.’ 

She glided back to the Winter Soldier’s side and wrapped her arm around his waist. The Soldier remained perfectly still, hardly blinking as he watched Fury’s every move. 

‘But you did hit the nail on the head, we are expecting-’ Maggie couldn’t keep the smile from her face as she spoke but she let her voice carry as she addressed the group. They were getting down to brass tax. ‘And not just us. How old will Morgan be in November, Tony?’ 

‘8, can you believe it? Where has that time gone?’ 

‘What’s your point?’ Fury asked. 

Steve stepped forward, addressing the crowd as much as he was Fury. All the while Fury watched the Winter Soldier take Maggie’s hand and hold it tight against his side- ready to bolt at any moment. 

‘The point is that there is a new generation on its way. And as much as we like it or not; SHIELD, the government, the military owns a part of us- controls part of our lives. We’re enhanced weapons. For Bucky and me we are experiments of the United States government. For others-,’ Steve looked over to where Logan and Eddie Brock glaring resentfully at Fury. ‘- and for others, it's been forced upon them but that's our burden to bear- not our kids.’ 

‘We won’t let you turn them into lab rats like we were,’ Luke Cage growled, his hand leaving a dent in the roof of his car. 

‘Our offspring should have the right to grow up in an environment that we see fit,’ Vision commented quietly, his voice calm and level. 

Bucky pulled Maggie behind him as Logan suddenly stepped forward, metal claws springing from his knuckles. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he ground out words through his teeth. ‘You lot made us into the monsters we are today, like hell you're gonna do it to our kids, Bub.’ 

Fury sighed unhappily, sticking his hands into the deep pockets of his coat. ‘I understand your concern. But tell me, how am I supposed to keep civilians safe when there is a kid in their nursery school who can blow things up with their mind, or can rip a tree in half.’ 

‘You can’t police the future, Nick.’ Steve said grimly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

‘And if your blood held the key to the common cold? That's what Dr Erskine saw the future of the serum being, are you really going to deny him the possibility of ever achieving that?’ 

Steve looked at the ground uncomfortably. ‘That's the difference Nick, I volunteered for a good cause and I still got made into a weapon.’ 

Maggie stepped forward but Bucky still held her hand. ‘Don’t you see that's how it starts, Fury. ‘ _ For the greater good’  _ but where and who does it stop with? No matter the outcome, at the end of the day, you would still be experimenting on children.’ 

‘We need guarantees for the future,’ Wanda remarked.

‘So what is it exactly that you are proposing?’ 

Steve retreated back to his truck and pulled out a large, bound document and handed it to Fury. ‘We want it agreed, here and now, that whatever contracts, ownerships or treaties that we, as enhanced individuals, have with the organisations of the United States- that they do not extend to our children. We had a lawyer in New York draw this up for us.’ 

‘You cannot touch them.’ Bucky’s voice had a hard, cold edge that made Maggie's scalp tingle. 

Fury adjusted his stance, squaring his shoulders. ‘And if a child with serum running through his veins decides to rip the head off his teacher’s shoulders? What then, Mr Barnes?’ 

Wanda took a step forward, her hand raised in a calming gesture. ‘We have made reasonable consideration of that. In the event of a-’ Wanda chose her next words very carefully. ‘- accident. The child in question will be removed to a safe location. Professor Xavier has offered his school as a temporary location until we can judge what best to do with them.’ 

‘You?’ Fury asked incredulously. 

‘We are the founding members of the Enhanced Union,’ Vision informed him matter of factly. 

‘It says it on the front cover,’ Maggie added helpfully. 

‘The Secretary of State will have to approve this but….’ Fury hesitated, measuring the situation carefully. ‘I can’t give you any guarantees. What happens if it's not approved?’ 

‘We down tools.’ 

‘Apathy, Director Fury, pure apathy. We all provide a service. Mr Brock watches the West coast, Ms Hernandez coaches the younger generation. Although now in retirement, Captain Rogers and Mr Barnes, would both step in if called upon. And yet, if you fail to meet our demands, we would show pure apathy and simply walk away.’ Vision’s voice was almost wistful as he explained and yet the threat was there. 

‘I would also like to add that Stark Industries would withdraw from all trade agreements… with absolute apathy and an extra pinch of ‘I told you so.’ It says it all in that lovely report that you’ve got in your hands.’ Tony smirked. 

Maggie caught Fury’s gaze, levelling him with the same understanding eyes that he had grown accustomed to in the Triskelion. ‘You once told me, Fury, that I was your conscience.’ 

‘I wouldn’t exactly call you unbiased, Dr Isle.’ 

‘Oh, don’t worry. I know I am definitely too close this time. In fact, I am right in the middle of this. But it does not change the fact that the sins of the parents should not be reflected on the children. It's not their fault that Vision was given the Mind Stone, or that Jess developed her powers.’ 

Fury thought about this for a moment. ‘But they could still hold the key to medical breakthroughs or protect the country. They won’t be babies forever.’ 

He hadn’t meant to sound like a threat but the Winter Soldier took a sudden step forward, his lips pulled back over his teeth in a snarl. Maggie stepped in front of him, her hand resting in his chest. 

‘No, they won’t stay babies forever. They will grow into teenagers and resent us like all teenagers do, and one day, before we all know what happened- They will be adults. And then, and only then, can they make the decision to be part of your research,’ Maggie said evenly, trying to restore calm into her soldier with soothing words. 

Fury sighed and pitched the bridge of his nose. He was getting too old for this. And a new generation? This might have to be a job for Agent Hill. 

‘I’ll see what I can do, but I can make no promises.’ 

  
  


**

**\- Number 4 Applegarth Street**

It hadn’t been easy. Winter was many things; an expert marksman, a spy, explosives expert. He spoke four languages fluently and another twelve conversationally. He had once thrown a shuriken from the back of a motorbike going 100 miles an hour and hit a politician square in the forehead. 

His Hydra handler had been given a promotion. Winter had been allowed to sleep on a mattress. 

Winter understood Bucky. His brother was the remains of the boy James Barnes, a scared Brooklyn teenager who had found himself strapped to an operating table in the middle of a war zone.  Bucky had asked for Winter’s help. He’d asked for him. It wasn’t out of desperation, life or death, like it had been during Hydra. Bucky had wanted him. He’d given him a mission. A new purpose in life. 

Protect Maggie. Protect the Family. 

His family. Their family. 

Winter forged ahead with focus that his handlers had never seen. Even when Bucky was asleep, Winter listened, felt vibrations, scented the air. There was never a part of him that was not alert in some form or another. 

He wanted this mission. He could be part of this. He wanted to be part of this. And yet why did Maggie insist on making it more difficult. 

‘But this one has bay windows!’ Maggie protested, stabbing her finger at the house brochure. They were sitting at Stevie's dining room table. House brochures and floor plans littered the table next to empty Chinese takeaway cartons and bottles of ginger beer. 

‘No.’ Winter deadpanned. 

‘Why?!’ Maggie retorted shortly. 

She was being stubborn, argumentative. She resisted his role as protector of the Family. Her hormones made her temper flare quick as a match. Winter found he liked this as much as he liked her kind nature. Bucky had chosen a fierce mate. 

‘Not defensible. Too many points of entry and lines of sight…’

Maggie sighed heavily and readjusted the hot water bottle on her lower back. ‘I am not living in a concrete bunker.’ 

‘Illogical. A bunker is the safest available option.’ Winter said once again.

Repeating himself was pointless. A few years ago he would have bound her hands with wire ties and-

_ What the hell is wrong with you?! That is not us anymore, we do not do that to people _ . Bucky’s anger flared, stinging their shared consciousness. 

_ ‘It would be easier.’ _

Bucky understood Winter’s frustration, he knew it was meant from a good place if not a bit misguided.  _ ‘She would hate us.’ _

_ ‘I am trying to protect the _ **_Family_ ** _!’  _ Winter snapped back. 

‘ _ And she is trying to make us a family. Now, pay attention. Maggie knows us, she’ll make us a counter offer and then...maybe we can make some improvements.’ _

It was late summer by the time they had found a house. Snow was falling by the time they moved in. Maggie was the size of a whale and ready to pop at any minute. 

The three storey brownstone had bay windows and a wide set of steps leading up to the stained glass front door. It was a quiet suburban neighbourhood on the outskirts of Brooklyn. It was as if it had stepped out of a Nora Ephron movie. 

They were very lucky to get the house for two reasons. Firstly, the house prices had spiked recently due to the fact that some of the Avengers reportedly lived in the area. There were all sorts of rumours; Captain America had been seen in a local book shop, the Falcon practiced baseball with his nephews in the local park, Black Widow owned a nearby club, there were secret underground tunnels all over the block… Who knew what to believe? 

Secondly, was that fact that long time Brooklyn resident Adam Matthewman of number 4 Applegarth Street, who may or may not work for the CIA- depending on which rumour you believed- had been reassigned to a new posting in Alaska. 

Maggie was surprised to hear this. Steve and Bucky were not...funny that? Especially considering that Steve also lived at number 2 Applegarth Street. 

‘You’re really not going to let me carry anything?’ Maggie asked as, once again, one of their friends swooped in to grab a box from the back of the removals lorry.

It was an odd assortment of furniture. Bits from Maggie’s family home in England, a few things that had been picked up from antique shops. It was a mishmash of old and new, it suited Bucky. 

‘You’re carrying enough already, Maggs,...’ Sam began but the grin died on his face when Bucky shot him a slightly panicked and alarmed look that said -DON’T GO THERE!

Maggie’s eyes flashed dangerously. 

‘Considering I am carrying two human beings who are going to be expelled from my body any day now, -’ Maggie was just getting her stride. ‘ And considering they are the product of a super soldier, so when they decide to kick me in the ribs, they reallllllyyy mean it. So Yes, SAMUEL WILSON, I am carrying enough already without you being a smartass about it…’

Mercifully, the pizza delivery guy pulled up just as Sam began backing away, hiding his face behind the box in his hands- Steve, Bucky and Peter had already made a hasty get away into the house. 

A few hours later, Maggie sat with her feet resting on Bucky’s lap. The house- their house was peacefully quiet after the madness of the day. The living room was strewn with empty pizza boxes and soda cans, dust sheets, crumpled cardboard and torn newspaper. The only bit of furniture that they had unwrapped was Maggie’s velvet sofa that they were currently laid on. 

‘Calm down, little missy,’ Bucky hummed, rubbing his hand over Maggie’s stomach, as one of the babies decided to kick her in the side making Maggie wince. 

Maggie smiled, placing her hand over Bucky’s. ‘Already a daddies’ girl and not even born yet.’ 

‘Damn straight,’ Bucky sighed, drawing soothing circles on Maggie’s belly with his silver hand. ‘I’m gonna spoil my little lady rotten.’ 

‘And what about your little man?’ Maggie asked, tucking a piece of Bucky’s dark hair behind his eye. 

Bucky chuckled. ‘He’s my Ace. Best hitter on the Barnes Team.’ 

‘The ‘B _ arnes Team _ ’, should have some t-shirts made up?’ Maggie asked dryly. 

Bucky sat up excitedly. ‘Could you do that? It might not happen any time soon but when Stevie and Hayley have kids, then maybe Sam. They could join up with Barton and…’

‘Okay, coach, let's just take one day at a time. We haven’t even thought about names yet.’ 

Bucky hummed thoughtfully, as he returned to massaging Maggie’s feet. ‘All the names I grew up with seem a little old fashioned now. There were a lot of Eugene’s back then. I must have dated a dozen Dorothys’.’ 

Maggie shifted so that she could see Bucky’s face more clearly. ‘What about Jacob, after your Father, and Rebecca-’ 

‘-after my sister.’ Bucky’s voice was thick, his lower lip trembling slightly as he pulled her close. ' I would like that.'

  
  
  


**

-Speech

‘Speech! Speech!’ The rowdy crowd shouted as a slightly drunk Steve Rogers - thanks to an enhanced vodka supplied by Stark Industries- clumsily climbed onto the diner. 

They hadn’t wanted a big wedding. Maggie liked things understated and Bucky grew up during the Great Depression, so the circus of modern weddings was lost on him. However as the wedding party opened the door to ‘ _ Hawkins Diner- open since 1923 _ ’, they were met by a wall of noise. 

Bucky immediately tensed as streamers and confetti were thrown over them by the majority of SHIELD. Maggie rested her hand on his arm, shooting him a patient and incredulous smile as Clint shoved a plastic cup of beer into her hands. 

Maggie couldn’t have counted everyone if she had tried. It seemed that Tony had bought out the diner for the day and told the kitchen to keep the burgers and fries coming. Pepper, May, Wanda and Hope all descended on Maggie as soon as she was clear of the confetti. Bucky was pulled into a - frankly alarming- hug by Thor, who then kissed him on both cheeks. 

‘You have made the honourable sacrifice my friend. I would see the good doctor happy. After you made the bastards, I feared…’

‘Okay, Thor. Have you tried the chocolate milkshakes!’ Steve rather forcefully steered Thor away. 

Next were Lauren, Dan and the kids, all starring with open mouths as Dr Banner/Hulk literally lifted up a corner booth to make more room for what was quickly becoming a dance floor. Glen Miller blasted from the Jukebox. 

‘You work with these people?’ Dan asked Bucky incredulously as he shook his hand. 

‘I’m technically retired,’ Bucky replied wryly, suddenly pulling Dan aside as a dart embedded itself in the wall by the man’s head.

‘My bad! That one got away from me,’ Clint called from the other end of the diner. His wife, Laura, batted Clint’s arm and waved apologetically. 

‘Technically you’re a freelance security specialist working for X-CON Security,’ Scott Lang added as he handed Bucky a cup of beer and a hotdog. ‘Hi, I’m Scott Lang of X-CON Security, are you folks…’ 

Maggie saved Dan from the well rehearsed sales pitch by taking that moment to throw the bouquet. It sailed through the air, Hayley actually ducked out the way- only for the red tulips to hit Sam right in the side of the head as he chatted up Maria Hill. 

The howls of laughter were almost deafening. 

The kids were in their element, running around between peoples legs, climbing on the counter tops. Twice Wanda caught Jacob as he launched himself off the top of the desserts cabinet. Rebecca kept squirting ketchup into Thor’s mouth, giggling madly. 

A short time after that, Tony cracked open a bottle of what he was calling ‘Super Booze.’ 

‘Speech! Speech!’ The guests cheered as Steve swayed slightly on his feet, holding on to a light fitting to keep himself upright. 

Maggie was sitting on Bucky’s lap, his arms wrapped around her waist and his rosey cheek resting against her shoulder. 

‘Only a little one for you, Frosty, you have husbandly duties to perform later.’ Tony had said as he went round pouring liberal amounts of ‘Super Booze.’

‘Alright, alright...hush up!’ Steve straightened his waistcoat. ‘Some of you may know that I have known Bucky for a long time. In fact I have known Bucky for over a 100 years! We’re old men-’ Steve succumbed to a fit of giggles.

‘This is going to be painful, isn’t it?’ Maggie whispered in Bucky’s ear. 

‘So painful,’ he smirked. ‘He never could hold his booze.’ 

‘He’s been my best friend since we were wearing short trousers. I was … Well, you wouldn’t know it now but I was a runty kid-,’ a few people laughed as Tony pretended to play a violin. ‘- and Buck,...Buck always had my back, even when he didn’t need to. And then we went to war and he had my back there too. Germany, Italy, France. It went without saying, it was like baseball and hotdogs, mustard and pretzels- I always knew that Bucky had my six…’ Steve hesitated suddenly, ‘... and then stupidly, I lost him.’ 

Maggie closed her hand around Bucky’s, pressing her dog tag against his skin.

‘But I got him back!’ Steve said dramatically and, like a good panto crowd, everyone applauded. ‘And then...and then…’ Steve wagged his finger and winked at Maggie

Maggie leaned over to Nat. ‘Please tell me you're filming this?’ 

‘Absolutely!’ Nat smirked. 

‘And then I-ME- I introduced him to Dr Maggie Isle. And let me tell you something, Maggie put the absolute fear of God into us. Don’t get me wrong we all love Maggie, Maggie we love you! At one time there was £500 dollars on Sam in Maggie’s dating pool-’ Steve was hushed as cups and napkins were thrown at him. He hastily moved on. ‘ I hoped that Maggie would help Bucky. I hoped she would become a friend to him. I hoped that she would help him, like she had helped me and ...and all of us in her own way. But you know, she did one better. It turns out she loves this penniless, scruffy, jerk from Brooklyn! And to top it all off, she gave him two amazing, adorable - make me so broody!- bestest kids in all the world…And well, in summary, he’s got it pretty good.’ 

Steve turned unsteadily on his heels, swaying on top of the diner bar and raised his paper cup. ‘To Maggie, the Best Girl in Brooklyn!’ 

Maggie blushed as the crowd called her name. Bucky pressed his lips to her cheek, whispering it against her skin. 

Suddenly Sam climbed up on a booth table top. ‘And to Bucky, the Best penniless, scruffy, jerk in all of Brooklyn!’ 

**

-The END

They were sitting in their favourite spot by the back door which looked out onto their walled garden. Maggie leaned back against Bucky legs as he wrapped his warm arms around her shoulders. 

Despite the sound of distant car horns and the rattle of a train, it was a remarkably peaceful night. The house was quiet and after the madness of the reception, they were happy to sit in silence, enjoying each other's company. 

It was five years to the day when they had both agreed to leave SHIELD, four and a half since they had been in the house, four since the kids had been born- Maggie had loved every minute of it. 

Bucky smoothed Maggie’s hair away from her neck, planting a warm kiss against her collar bone. ‘What would you like to do tomorrow?’ He hummed, his lips still against her skin. 

Maggie sighed, cupping Bucky’s whiskered cheek as he kissed his way up her neck. ‘Saturday. The perfect day to kiss, cuddle and- what do you call it ‘make whoopee.’ All day long.’ 

Bucky let out a low and throaty chuckle. ‘Is that a promise, Mrs Barnes?’ 

Maggie turned in his arms and half got to her feet, gently pushing Bucky back till he was laying on the kitchen floor, with Maggie laying on his chest. ‘The kids are at Steve and Hayley’s all weekend. Hell, yes it's a promise.’ 

Bucky hummed in approval as Maggie kissed him deeply. 

The END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks!
> 
> I have some other stories planned out but my RL is mad at the moment so I shall make sure I write them in their entirety first before putting them out. Please comment if you have any requests. 
> 
> Thank you again, all my kind readers, who took the time. 
> 
> xx


End file.
